by Rye Hart
I wanted answers.
We all wanted answers.
“He… uh… set a wedding date. For October.”
“So, he still wants to marry you,” Chance said.
“Yeah.”
“What did you say?” I asked.
I knew my voice sounded like gravel. All I could see was red. I wished to heaven’s fuck Chance wouldn’t have stopped me from going into town to kick that idiot’s ass. Any man willing to let her go for the holidays or not fucking come home with her at all was an asshole that didn’t deserve her, no matter whose fault it was. If it was her fault, he needed to fucking man up with a pair of balls and come to her home anyway. If it was his fault, she had no fucking business going back to him.
None whatsoever.
“I told him I didn’t know,” she said.
“Are you considering it?” Rowan asked.
He shot me a look that told me to shut my face before I got myself into any more hot water, which was probably for the best. If I got any angrier with the situation, one of our walls was gonna end up with a hole in it.
And I didn’t want Kyra seeing that side of me.
But the only answer Rowan got to his question was a shrug. After coming home, embracing us in her arms, having the time of her life at a party, being safe with all of us, then practically begging us to all take her right then and there, all she could muster was a fucking shrug.
“The fuck does that mean?” I asked.
“Look,” she said as she stepped away from Harper. “We’ve got our issues, okay? But… what the hell do you guys expect from me?”
The question caught me off guard and I could tell by the stunned expressions that it did everyone else.
“What do we expect from you?” Harper asked breathlessly.
“Yeah,” she said. “I mean, to be with all six of you and pretend like it’ll all be okay? Some… some happily ever after scenario or something?”
My eyes narrowed at her and she backed away from my gaze. I didn’t like that response. Not one bit. Especially since she was the one that asked us. We were the ones trying to get her to single out who she wanted to be with so at least one of us could be happy. She was the one that asked for all of us. And now the burden of figuring out what the fuck had happened landed on our shoulders?
Hell fucking no.
I reached forward and grabbed her arm, dragging her into the kitchen. She tugged at me, but she didn’t relent and followed me at a quick pace. The brothers knew better than to follow us as I pushed through into the kitchen. Then I dropped her arm and whipped around to look her in her eyes.
“What do you want from me?” she asked breathlessly.
“To be happy, Kyra. To be strong. To be the woman we all know you to be. This guy’s an asshole and I don’t even fucking know what happened between you two.”
She was looking up at me with her big dark eyes and I felt my heart being squeezed in a vice. I could see the confusion flowing behind her eyes. I could see her mind traveling a thousand miles a second. I could tell she’d backed herself into a corner she didn’t know how to get out of and all I wanted to do was help her. Help her sort through what the hell was going on in that head of hers.
But she had to talk to me.
She had to talk to us.
“I… can’t believe what I did that night,” she said, whispering.
“What does that mean?” I asked. “Kyra, what we need is for you to talk to us. Talk to me, at least.”
I put my arms on her shoulders and forced her to look me in the eye. I had never before in our lives seen Kyra this lost before. Not since her mom died. It killed a part of me inside that I couldn’t just reach in and put all her troubles on my shoulders.
“I was so out of control,” she said. “And I’m so ashamed. I mean… all of you? At once? Just… without cleaning up or anything? I… I’m a whore. That makes me a whore, doesn’t it?”
And there it was. The reason she took the date with her asshole ex. The reason why she was avoiding us that morning. The reason why she pulled away from all of us and left before we even got up.
She was just as shocked as we were, except she didn’t have five other siblings to bounce it all off of.
“Ethan, if I married Landon, I wouldn’t have to worry about that. Making a mistake like that again. Being so out of control the way I was. If I married him, all of that would just go away, right?”
She looked up at me with tears in her eyes and I took a deep breath. Her words pierced my soul, and I felt like I was bleeding out onto the floor. A mistake? I could never regard what happened that night as a mistake. All the dreams and all the wishing and all the pining had culminated into one moment where our bodies had been fused together.
She could never be a mistake to me.
But I was a mistake to her.
We all were.
“What happened was unexpected as fuck,” I said. “But I could never regret it. And you shouldn’t either. You took what you wanted, Kyra. Just like we’ve always known you to do. We’re grown adults who gave every ounce of consent we could. We all wanted it and there’s no reason to be ashamed for getting what we wanted.”
Her bottom lip began to tremble and I pulled her into my arms. I couldn’t stay angry at her anymore, not like this. I tucked her head underneath my chin and felt her trembling against my chest. I felt her sobs staining my shirt while I ran my hands up and down her back. What had been running through her mind the past couple of days, I couldn’t even imagine. Sex was so fucking different for women than it was for men and we were idiots for not seeing that sooner.
“You mean the world to me. To all of us, Kyra. We’d never do anything to hurt you and we’ll always be here to protect you. Even if it’s from yourself.”
“I’m so… confused,” she said between her sobs.
“I know,” I said.
“I have no idea what to do,” she said breathlessly.
“I know. You don’t have to make any decisions today, all right?”
“He told me Christmas,” she said.
“What?” I asked.
She sniffled and looked up at me, her reddened eyes gripping my soul as I drew in a deep breath.
“He said he needed an answer by Christmas,” she said.
“Well, Christmas isn’t today,” I said. “So, my statement still stands.”
I grinned down at her. She snickered and shook her head. I raised my hand up and brushed her hair from her face, admiring how beautiful she was, even when she was crying. I ran my thumb across her cheek, watching the flush of her skin take over at my touch. You couldn’t fake shit like that. Not in a million years. Even now, as she struggled between her bullshit ex and myself, her skin was flushing underneath my soft touch.
I wondered if her skin had ever flushed underneath his touch.
“Thank you for being good to me, even though I know you’re angry,” she said.
“Do you understand why I’m angry?” I asked.
“I do,” she said, “and I’m so—”
I put my finger to her lips before she could finish her statement.
“No apologies. Don’t be sorry, Tinkerbell.”
“Be better,” she said, grinning.
“There’s that beautiful smile,” I said.
She threaded her arms back around me and tucked her head up underneath my chin. I slid my hands through her hair, feeling its silky softness against my skin. I didn’t know if I was ever going to get the chance to feel her this way again. I didn’t know if I was ever going to hold her in my arms like this, or call her beautiful like I had, or even look into her eyes as closely as I could now.
But just as I closed my eyes to take in her warmth, someone burst into the kitchen and ruined our fucking moment.
CHAPTER TWELVE - CHANCE
I busted into the kitchen and found Ethan holding Kyra tightly. I felt a flare of jealousy fire in my gut at the sight, one that trickled all the way up to my brain. I felt light-
headed at the sight of them, more than I knew I should feel given our situation. But I’d always had issues with Ethan. Issues with him getting whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, because he was the baby of the family.
Growing up, he always got the attention. I had to clean up after his mess and look after him when I could and he got to run amok, flash his smile, and get out of anything. His smart mouth and his troublemaking ways had always caused us more anxiety than any of us deserved and it pissed me off. Someone needed to knock him into his place and I was always willing to take the first shot.
Ethan glared at me as Kyra opened her eyes and, the moment she saw me, she stepped away from him.
“I need to get home,” she said lightly. “Thanks for talking with me, Ethan.”
“Anytime,” he said.
But his eyes never left my face.
I reached out my arm and grabbed her just as she moved past me to get to the door. Her body halted in its tracks and she whipped her gaze around, her wary eyes looking up at me. I could see the thousand wars she’d weathered between lunch and here and all I wanted to do was bend down and kiss her lips. To remind her of the tenderness I had inside of me that I could give her. Remind her that I could never hurt her like her ex could or be angry with her the way Ethan had been.
“You need to remember your power,” I said.
She smiled up at me with her watering eyes and my shriveled heart slowly started pumping again. It was something I’d always said to her when she was a kid, after she’d lost her mother and sort of lost her way. We were her Lost Boys and she was our Tinkerbell. Unique and wonderful and always flying around our heads, guiding us home. I told her that when she sprinkled her magic dust on us Lost Boys, we could fly to wherever we needed to be.
She had that power she could bestow upon anyone… even herself, if she needed.
“Thank you, Chance,” she said.
I let go of her arm and she waved goodbye before she walked by the other brothers and left the house. I looked back at Ethan after I made sure she got to the front door without being badgered and I could see the scowl growing on his face. He was about to open his mouth and say something stupid and I’d had just enough drama in my life for the day to fly off at him for whatever he was about to say.
“You always fucking interrupt me, like you’re some kind of big shot,” he said.
“Tired of me stealing the spotlight, baby boy?” I asked.
“I’m tired of you sticking your damn nose in shit that doesn’t concern you,” he said.
“Kyra didn’t act like it wasn’t any of my concern,” I said as my eyes narrowed. “Why don’t you stop acting like a spoiled child who refuses to share his toy?”
Ethan stalked up to me, his hands balled into fists. I was ready for him to punch me. I was ready for him to throw the first shot. All I needed was one fucking excuse to bury his ass into the ground, just so he knew exactly where he stood in this family.
Just so he knew exactly how annoying he fucking was.
He stood toe to toe with me, his nose close to mine while we gazed at one another. He was slightly shorter than I was and I smirked the moment I had to crane my neck down to see him. I could hear him panting and feel his entire body trembling with the emotions coursing through his system.
He reared his arm back and I readied myself for the punch, taking a step back to brace myself to tackle him. But instead, he whipped around and slammed his fist into the wall, creating a massive hole I’d, of course, make him fucking fix.
Then he turned around, walked back outside to the garage, and continued tinkering with whatever the hell was out there.
I frowned as I watched him walk away. Why the hell could I never control my temper around him? He was such a fucking hothead and, if there was one thing the military taught me, it was to control my temper even around the most insane human beings.
But Ethan just fucking got under my skin.
The house was solemn all day. We all kept peering out the window, waiting to see if Kyra would resurface. But she didn’t and we all knew better than to go pester her. I took a few calls for my security consulting outfit, trying to secure more clients as well as interview a couple of men who I’d had my eye on for a couple years now. I needed another miniature team who could take on some part-time work for me but I also needed them to have the ability to commit long term the moment I secured more clients.
I worked all day and passed out in my bed. I woke up to the winter sun streaming through my window, so I decided to take the time to run a few errands. All the brothers were still sleeping, which meant I didn’t have to field all their useless questions, which was nice. We needed some groceries, I needed to make a trip to the bank, and then I could get some breakfast and try to clear my head.
I’d been running my own security consulting business for several years now. I contracted the services of ex-military men that I’d networked with during my time in the service. I loved the job because I could work from home and set my own hours, which meant I could travel and see things I’d always wanted to see but never could. I paid very well, I lived very comfortably, and I got the satisfaction of keeping people safe.
That was all I really wanted to do in life anyway.
I turned my truck on and began scraping off the frost from my windows, only to hear the door across the yard open. I saw Kyra heading down the driveway, heading for the newspaper that had been tossed out there this morning. I waved at her and she waved back, and I could tell how tired she was.
But as she started for me, all I could do was smile when she approached.
“Hey there, Chance,” she said.
“Hey, Kyra.”
We stood there looking at one another and I couldn’t help but notice that she was already dressed for her day.
“Didn’t sleep well?” I asked.
“Not really,” she said. “I was up most of the night.”
“You had breakfast yet?”
“No. I was just about to go inside and make some.”
“No need. Why don’t you hop on in? I was planning on getting breakfast in town anyway.”
“You sure that’s okay?” she asked.
It pained me that she even had to ask.
“Of course, it’s okay,” I said. “Go drop the paper off and hop on in. The truck’s already warm.”
The smile that crossed her face warmed my chest. She scampered off and tossed the paper inside before closing her front door. Then she ran back and jumped into my truck. We rode into town and hit up this little diner the seven of us always frequented during the summer. We sat down in the corner we all used to take up while we pissed off the workers by only ordering drinks.
“Have you thought any more about your ex’s offer?” I asked.
“I have,” she said. “I’ve got until Christmas to make a decision.”
“He gave you a deadline?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she said, snickering.
“Sounds like a winner,” I said.
She shot me a look and I shook my head and sighed.
“Sorry,” I said. “But you can’t blame me. You deserve the best, Kyra. You always have.”
“Thanks.”
“Do you know what always helped me?” I asked. “In the military, we learned to make decisions by drawing up a list of pros and cons.”
“You’re joking, right?” she asked.
“Not one bit. It helped us to visually see all the good and bad that could come from a certain decision. You gotta remember, the military takes men as young as eighteen. Most of those guys don’t even know how to parallel park, much less make important decisions on their own. That’s how the military taught us.”
“I can’t even imagine what you went through in the military, Chance,” she said.
I took a deep breath as the memories bombarded my mind but I tried to keep them at bay as I leaned back and stretched.
“Well, I’m also a realist, so the list rings especially true for me. So, make a
list with me.”
“Wait, what?” she asked.
“Start with the cons and make a list. What are the cons going back to…?”
“Landon,” she said.
“Landon. What are the cons of going back?”
“Well, he wants to change me.”
“Okay,” I said.
“He doesn’t think much of my job as a teacher.”
“Two,” I said.
“He most certainly doesn’t support my idea of an online video channel for relationship advice,” she said.
“Wait, he doesn’t?” I asked. “That’s a perfect gig for you. You’re a natural at helping people.”
“See, that’s what I was saying!” she said. “You gotta do what you’re passionate about, right?”
“But, then again, there is some irony there with you having all these issues with the relationships that surround you,” I said, grinning.
“Oh, shut up,” she said, giggling. “Some of the best artists have the most tortured lives.”
“What are the pros of going back to Landon?” I asked.
I knew it was going to make me sick hearing them but she needed to make this list.
“Well, if I never wanted to work again, I wouldn’t have to,” she said.
“Okay, that’s one.”
“When he’s not being a cock, he’s incredibly romantic.”
“That’s two, I think,” I said, grinning.
“And um…”
I watched her struggle just to find one more pro. Just one more to even out the list she’d given me seconds before. I watched her struggle in her seat as she bowed her face into her soda, wracking her brain and trying to talk herself into something I knew she knew was bad for her.
“Wanna move on?” I asked.
“Please,” she said breathlessly.
“What are the cons to being with us?” I asked.
She whipped her head up at my question, fear rushing behind her eyes as she swallowed hard.
“You don’t have to worry. I’m not a hothead like Owen or Ethan. You can open up to me. You’re safe with me, always.”