“No of course not.”
“He was bad for you Bg.” Paris says desperately and I see the uncertainty in his eyes and know I’ve hit a nerve. “He wasn’t worthy of you.” My hands reach up and glide through his hair, tightening in it.
“I know that now, because I know what good is. Good is you, being with you.” I husk at him, raising my lips to his.”
Paris grabs one of my legs and raises it, positioning himself under me. “I love you little wolf, don’t forget that.” He plunges into me, driving me into the tree and I forget all about my crazy life, in an instant and I think about us together here in this forest.
How my pack mate is passionate and loving and caring about me, a lot of things Conall wasn’t unless it was about sex.
Paris is these things all the time and I know he will do everything for me to have a great life with him. But I’m not sure he sees it, the craziness. He’s an alpha who is used to coping and overcoming things all the time because that is the nature of a werewolf of his standing.
Paris makes me feel so damn important and wanted and like I am the focus of his world, there is no doubt in my mind that whatever I have to overcome or go through, he will be right there with me and he will do, everything in his power to please me. To create a life for us to be what we want it to be.
Paris fucks me into submission. Until I’m groaning and sweating at the same time, ready to come and to shift all at once if he’d just drive me that bit further over the edge I need.
“Who do you belong to little wolf?” He asks me slowing down his speed and I groan in frustration from being close to the point of tipping over into a blissful orgasm that will make my shape shift, seamless.
“You.” I pant.
“Who do you belong to?” Paris repeats slowing down even more. My brain is going to shut down from this if he doesn't finish the job off.
“You.” I repeat again and see something flicker across his face, anger? Desire? No, it’s need. He needs to hear it from me, through me.
“Who do you belong to?” Paris says stopping all movement now and I hit the back of the tree with my fist in frustration.
“You, Paris, my alpha. I love you.” I state desperately and he kisses me deeply, taking away my breath, before resuming pounding me with his cock. My eyes roll back into my skull and I hang on to him and dig my fingers into his arms.
“Shift Bg, shift for me.” Paris says between thrusts as he picks up the pace.
I open my eyes again and see a movement from the corner of them. Paris sees where my line of sight is direct and without breaking rhythm he looks over his shoulder. Addison is naked and hard and watching us fuck like crazy against this tree. I can see the lust in his eyes. He would love to be a part of us. To be like this.
“Close.” I groan as Addison wanders over slowly and lowers himself to his hands and knees, kneeling at Paris’s feet as Paris and I fornicate in the forest.
I glance down and see Addison, with one arm wrapped around Paris’s leg, one hand on his own cock, masturbating as quickly as we are fucking.
I feel the familiarity of lust, desire and love in a werewolf pack unison as it ascends over the air and I buckle against the tree. Addison moans in a low deep voice and Paris pants and I realise what he is doing for me.
He is giving me that which I’ve always had around him in lunar week. Normally we’d be in the clubs, drenched in the collective feeling of werewolves in lust and ready for shifting as the moon rises higher in the night sky.
It’s something that always sat well with me, saturating my skin and easing me into my shifts with Paris. I never realised he’d been paying attention to that little detail.
Out here, under emotional duress and with an unfocussed mind, shifting is much harder than it should be. But I need it. I need to be my werewolf tribal self and not because it’s a survival thing like being hunted. Paris knows this and is trying to give me this. I feel close and yet far from orgasm at the same time.
“Come on Bg, don’t fight it.” Paris pants at me.
“I just uh,”
Paris’s mouth starts kissing my neck. “I know how you’re body feels when we’re making love.” He says making his way to my collar. “I know how it feels when it builds up to orgasm.” He licks my skin. “I know how it feels when you’re close and when you’re not.” His head dips to my breast. “We’re not going anywhere until you shift with me.” His mouth ghosts across my nipple.
“Let me love you” Paris says huskily. Paris and I moan at the same time “That’s it,” Paris pants watching as my mouth gapes open and my eyes widen. “You can have this baby, anytime you want.” Paris says as my orgasm flares up inside me and makes me tremble violently in his arms. “That’s my wolf, let it go, Bg, come with me.” His voice centres in my belly and the heat spreads out as I come, howling and shifting at the same time.
I feel Paris guiding me to the ground as my shape shift takes over and any doubts or insecurities I may have had before, fall away as my werewolf self takes over.
The shape shift is like me going into a full body stretch and by the time I’ve reached the end of my stretch, my toes have pointed as far as they can, and I’m a werewolf. Four legs and fur and teeth that could break a human arm in one, serious, bite.
There is a freedom in being a werewolf. When I shed my human skin, and the werewolf takes over, I am free to leave and abandon my old life far behind me. To the point where it need not exist when I embrace my animal self. Life seems simpler in a forest, where there is merely a need to wander through it. I don’t even need to run.
The werewolf likes the feel of a natural landscape under its paws and inhales the scents of a world it once knew but has momentarily forgotten because of the human side of me.
In daylight and in my other skin, I live in a concrete jungle of noise and activity that is foreign in to a werewolf. As the dusk of evening approaches, and I feel my muscles familiarise themselves with the body of my werewolf again. This feels good and my mind eases, the world around me is as it should be and I am safe with my pack as we traverse the landscape around us.
I relax as my pack mate trots beside me and we wander through the forest, merely exploring because we need a reminder of what it’s like to be like this. That we can be like this, that we need not fear being a werewolf or the wilderness it has come from and ultimately needs in its biology.
You can take the werewolf out of the wild, but you can’t take the wild out of the werewolf.
29
Light is fading by the time we all shift back and get dressed, jogging our way back to the car and Markus who chose to nap in the car when we left him.
We’re not far from Quebec and I feel at ease again. We will be done with this business and we will make sure we, the Cavello’s and I are not bothered again by it.
My life can return to normal. I can get on with my life in New York, with being in love with Paris, with keeping my bond with Markus. Together we will find a way to grieve and move on from our father’s death. That will help us re-connect, I realise that now.
I stop as we re-emerge in the car park off the forest and Paris stops beside me, I cup his face. “Thank you.” I kiss him as the others jog past us.
“Get a room” Phelan grumbles at us as he goes past.
Paris and I look back at one another, eyes twinkling. “Soon. I’m going to get a room alright and we’re going to spend a week in it, just making love.” He says back at me.
I grin back at him. “I think I’ve earned it.”
Paris’s eyebrow arches up at me as his mouth quirks. “Really?”
“Oh yeah, for sure.” I say laughing and starting to walk off towards the car again. There is a carefree laughter and feeling among us as we talk about food and where we should stop, one more stop before hitting Quebec.
“Food, one of a werewolves highest priorities” Addison laughs as we all catch up again and slow to a walk towards the car.
I look up and frown. The car is
dark, its windows are tinted and I cannot see Markus from outside of it.
“Markus!” I shout as we get closer. “What do you want for dinner, a big juicy steak or,” I open the front side passenger door and find myself looking at the inside of the car, seats, steering wheel, dashboard, rear vision mirror and windows, but no Markus.
Panic surges inside of me. Please let me be over-reacting. Please. I move quickly pushing Thane aside and open the back passenger side door and look in the car. It’s empty. Markus is nowhere to be seen inside it.
“Open the boot!” I yell at Phelan as he is closest to the back of the car. He does as told and everyone moves around me.
“Bg, what’s going on?” Addison asks as I look inside the boot and only see our bags.
“Markus is gone.” I state looking back at them all.
“He’s probably just taking a slash.” Thane offers tiredly not at all phased by my completely irrational behaviour.
“Then why don’t you check that out?” I yell at him.
Paris pats my arm and jerks his head at Thane. “Check out the amenities block.” Thane looks from Paris to me and nods his head and runs off in the direction of the toilets we’d passed earlier on our way in. “Phelan, have a look around here.”
Phelan runs off into the forest on the side of our car park, not where we’ve come from. I look around us, past the car park there is again, this endlessness, what looks like endlessness of forest. Not again.
Please dear god don’t tell me what has been happening to me because of Nicholas Norden has now swept Markus up in it.
“This can’t be happening.” I mutter under my breath. “I can’t lose Markus, we were fighting before the run. That can’t be the last thing that happens between us.” I state as my panic rises.
“Hey, whatever happens, Markus loves you Bg.” Paris stands in front of me with both hands on my arms. “That just doesn't go away sweetheart, when it’s as deeply heartfelt as he feels for you. You can see it when he talks about you, with you.”
I smile weakly at him and his head turns and I look with him as Thane returns jogging back to us shaking his head. “No sign of him.” Phelan re-emerges from the forest shaking his head and throwing up his hands.
“Addison,” Paris says solemnly as Addison re-emerges from the car. I hadn’t even noticed he’d gone inside it and was scenting it out. Addison is the best tracker I know.
“Yeah, we got a problem.” Addison states looking at Paris. “I’m picking up something but I can’t figure it out. I think they were masking their scent.” He says looking down at me. “It’s in the car, its light and its fine and its most concentrated in the front passenger seat. I can’t track it.”
“Where we last saw Markus as we went off for the run.”
“Yeah, it’s on the handle and I can smell the rubber of a car tires around our vehicle too.” Addison continues softly.
“They never stopped following us.” I state back at Paris and Addison. “Can you track the car?”
Addison looks at me softly. “I’d only get us as far as the highway. Then it’d be next to impossible. I’m sorry Bg.” I nod my head in understanding.
“Norden’s werewolves, they doubled back when we thought we were safe.” Phelan comments looking at me.
“Why would they do that? They must be so far out of their territory now that they’re en-croaching on another’s during lunar week right? Are they teaming up with other packs to contain us?” Paris says thinking out loud.
Phelan stares at me and I know he knows why. We’re twins, it’s not just feelings and empathy that connects us. Shit.
“What? What is it?” Thane asks his younger brother, who breaks eye contact with me.
“What do you two know that we don’t?” Addison joins in.
I look at Phelan for something to lead me into this, that I definitely got Markus into this and it is all my fault and I should have said something before the run. Maybe if I did, he’d still be here, safe.
“Shortly before we stopped, I had a very, scary dream.” I state softly. I feel Thane’s tension before I see it in his face as I look up.
“So?” Addison asks completely ignorant.
“I think I gave Norden a signal to where I was.” I state back at him.
“From a bad dream?” Addison asks seeking clarification.
“What happened in the dream?” Paris asks me softly.
“I was surrounded by a sea of werewolves, and they were just waiting for the green light to tear me to pieces to the point of non-existence. I didn’t stand a chance,” I explained, “But there was someone there with me, standing at my back.”
“Who?” Thane asks visibly angry with me even though I have no idea why.
“I don’t know, when I turned to face this person, a werewolf, one I’ve never seen before, didn’t recognise, it’s head was on the body and it lunged at my throat. Then I woke up.” I state crossing my arms over myself and ignoring the shiver that runs through me with the memory.
“What did the werewolf look like?” Thane persists.
I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t know.”
“Did it have any particular markings?” Thane asks.
“What does it fucking matter? My brother is missing, presumed kidnapped!” I yell back at him as tears form in my eyes.
“Would you explain to your twin sister one of Norden’s abilities please.” Thane says annoyed with me know as he waves a hand at Pehlan.
I look at Phelan teary eyed. “Nordon was in my head?” I say my voice barely a whisper.
“He’s got an ability within our pack, to enter the dreamscape. It helps him plant messages into his pack member’s head. Very few of us are aware of it. He uses it to control of them. He used to use it on me and Thane to scare us, to let us know, he could get to us, anytime, anywhere he wanted to. It’s why we avoid dreaming anymore.”
“You avoid dreaming?” Addison asks sceptically. “Like you can just do that?”
“Fair amount of practice, but yes.” Thane answers Addison.
“But I’m not you’re pack.” I state desperately wanting to not believe what I’m hearing.
“You carry our mother and father’s blood line and it comes from the same pack, Nordon’s come from. It’s the connection. The closer you are in location to him, the more powerful he can be.” Phelan continues to explain.
“So this dreamscape power,” Paris says addressing Phelan. “It’s like a gateway into Bg?”
“Yeah, it’s when she’s most vulnerable, open to anything. Some werewolves believe it is when we or any of us let our spirit wander at night, to bring the gift of dreams back to us. Nordon’s figured out a way to use it like a gateway into his pack’s heads. All he needs is for the wolf of his focus to unconsciously offer up something from their subconscious to him and he can use it against them, use it like a weakness.”
“I’d hazard a guess that the werewolf at the end of your dream that you saw was Norden. He has a scar across his wolf face, that won’t go away, no matter how many times he shape shifts. No one knows how he got it.” Thane says at me. “It’s like a diagonal line across the bridge of his snout to the black of his nose.” He says demonstrating across his own face.
I feel my legs give way as I remember the wolf face flash up at the end and thinking about whether Markus was there with me or not. Arms catch me and Paris picks me, moving me to the doorway of the car to sit back against.
I look up at him as tears burst from my eyes. “I said Markus’s name and I wished he was there with me, had my back.”
Paris leans down and kisses my forehead. “We’ll get him back. I promise.” He says his face a hard mask of solemn seriousness and anger.
I wipe at my eyes hastily and look back at the Cavello brothers. “Just tell me this one thing.” I sniff. “The nightmare, the dreamscape I saw, He planted it in my head to scare me, to get something he could use out of me right? It’s not a prediction or prophecy, your pack doesn’t have that ab
ility, right?”
I see the hesitation as Phelan’s chest tightens and I already know the answer to my own question. Oh holly fuck. No.
“No it’s not a pack ability.” He says quickly. I do not feel relief at hearing his words. I wish I could.
“Liar.” I say softly back at him.
“He’s telling the truth.” Thane pipes up. “The ability of prophecy, prediction or foresight, whatever you want to call it, comes from our mother’s side of the family.” My mouth drops opens. “Her family line, was powerful back in the day.”
I find myself staring back at all four male werewolves before me, my face feeling raw from the tears I’ve shed. As fast as my heart is beating.
I feel something else in it too, a steely strength forming if only out of rage at the loss of my brother and some sort of self-realization that I’ve only just come to. The pieces of my life, of myself, are now falling firmly into place.
“Well that explains a lot.” Addison says smiling down at me. He says it calmly but his smile gives away his resolve. Addison gets me, and I get him. He’s as angry as I am still. These werewolves across the border, of the old land, need to learn who they are messing with.
Thane looks across at him. “I don’t understand.”
“Bg’s always had power,” Paris replies looking at me with pride. “Not that she ever thinks of it like that.”
Thane and Phelan stare at me wide eyed in fascination.
“Maybe it’s matriarchal only.” I offer back to them weakly. “It’s like knowing you’re different your whole life but not knowing why or more importantly, how.” I run my hands through my hair and sniff, wiping my face quickly.
“Norden isn’t going to know what fucking hits him when she comes for him.” Addison says happily leaning down to kiss my tear stained check. “Especially now she has you two to fuel her.”
“Now, we need to get to Quebec. Hope all you boys can hold out for dinner, but I’ve got see a man about some werewolves.” I state climbing into the car.
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