by Rosa, C.
Every once in a while I scanned the room for Ricky, who seemed to be getting very familiar with the voluptuous, dark headed girl he was occupied with all night. I tried not to pay attention as he swept her long hair back and whispered in her ear.
“I need a break,” I yelled to Mia after the fifth song. I fanned my face and walked outside. I found an empty patio chair and plopped down, feeling the cool air.
“Tired already?” Mark asked. He grabbed my hand, dragging me back up.
“My feet,” I muttered. “They’re killing me.”
Mark scooped me up and over his shoulders. He walked over to the pool, threatening to throw me in.
“Let me down!” I laughed.
He set me back on my feet, and I stumbled on the uneven stone. I grabbed his arms for support as the heel of my shoe snapped off.
“Shit!” I said, taking off Mia’s shoe.
“Oh man,” Mark chuckled. “I think I have some crazy glue to fix that. Come on.” He nodded me over, and I followed back inside, passing Ricky and his next conquest on the way.
Mark rummaged through the linen closet at the end of the hallway. “I swear I had some,” he said.
“It’s fine,” I replied, taking my other shoe off. “They were too uncomfortable anyway.”
He grabbed my other shoe and snapped off the other heel. “How’s that?”
“Thanks,” I smiled. “Good idea.”
“No problem.”
We stared at each other for a few moments before Mark leaned in and planted a soft peck on my lips. When he went in for another kiss, I held up my hand to stop him. My attempt was thwarted when I felt the bump of someone barrel past me.
Mark stumbled back as Ricky charged towards him.
“Ricky!” I said. “What the hell are you doing?”
Ricky ignored me and shoved Mark harder. “I don’t think you want to do that,” he said. He continued to shove Mark’s shoulders like he was trying to plow him through the wall.
“What the fuck Ricky?” Mark said. “I didn’t know you had your fucking name on her.” He shoved Ricky back.
Ricky didn’t relent. “Keep your fucking hands off of her,” he muttered.
“Ricky, please!” I said. “Let’s just leave!” I did my best to pull him by his arm, but he was so strong. I barely moved him an inch.
“What the hell is going on?” I heard Mia call from behind me. It took her all of two seconds to figure it out. “Ricky! Let it go!”
Ricky finally broke from his trance, letting me drag him down the hallway.
“Keep your fucking hands to yourself,” he said, pointing to Mark.
Mia went on a trek to find Nick while I led Ricky to the car.
“Get in the car,” Ricky said.
“Don’t talk to me like that,” I replied. “I can’t believe you just did that!”
“Trust me…I did you a favor!”
“A favor?” I replied. “I’ll have a nice bruise on my shoulder tomorrow because of you…thanks! What the hell did they teach you in those anger management classes anyway?”
Whoever instructed that class needed to be fired. Between Ricky and Joe, that teacher was zero for two.
“I’m sorry,” he said. Ricky pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a deep breath. “But you need to stay away from that guy. He’s no good for you.”
“This is not high school, Ricky, where you can just beat the shit out of anyone who pisses you off…I can take care of myself.”
“Yeah, I can see that. You let the guy, who’s fucked just about every girl here, kiss you.”
“That’s funny, coming from you.”
Ricky raised his eyebrows and walked closer to me. “Really, Alexa? Because I’m pretty sure a few hours ago I had my mouth all over you...and you didn’t seem to be complaining.”
I squirmed under his glare, the memory of our make-out session still fresh in my mind. “That-That should never have happened.”
He relaxed his tightened face, and the line of his mouth softened in a downward turn. “You’re right,” he replied. He turned his back to me and leaned against the driver’s side of the Range Rover, kicking rocks from the gravely driveway.
Mia came walking down the drive way, dragging a stumbling Nick behind her. “Thanks for the great time,” she shouted to Ricky.
Ricky hopped in the car and gave me the silent treatment for the rest of the night.
Chapter 11
The Call
THREE DAYS HAD past since my momentary lapse of judgment. Three days of keeping my distance, while trying to weather hurricane Ricky. We had hardly uttered a word to each other since Mark’s party, which made for a very awkward car ride to and from work. Mia had offered to take me a few times, sensing Ricky’s turbulent mood. Ricky always cut her off, giving her something else to do.
I dried my hair in a haze, completely stunned by how easy it was for me to forget everything I told myself I had to stay away from. I had already been down that road, trying to pretend I could make the wrong guy right for me. God knows I tried it with Danny.
After a few months of working in the kitchen together, I had grown such as strong attraction that I lost all sense of right and wrong. After what I had been through back home, all I wanted was to forget it all. My dad, the car accident that took him from me…all of it. I wanted to feel good again, and Danny was more than willing to play along.
It started off innocent enough. I had just graduated from culinary school and was excited to be working as a commis chef in his restaurant. After about a year, I worked my way up to station chef, even working sauté after a couple of years. He paid extra special attention to me, convincing me that it was my talent with a sauté pan that had us staying after closing. I knew I didn’t quite have enough experience to make it as sous chef, but I was getting there.
The first time he kissed me was over a bowl of crème fraiche. He had stuck his finger into the bowl, slowly raising it to my mouth to taste. Before I could talk myself out of it, his strong arms, tattooed and dotted with burns from years in the kitchen, were wrapped around my waist. Our mouths were no longer concerned with the taste of the food...only of each other.
It had been fun at first; the sneaking around, the inside jokes. We had a few close calls, but it only added to the excitement, making us more desperate for every minute we could spend together.
“Promise me,” I said to him after the first time we slept together. “Promise me this will always be our secret.”
I traced the shape of a heart on his inked chest as we laid on my bed, the sheets spread haphazardly on top of us.
“I promise,” he said, crossing his heart. “I would never do anything to hurt you. I never want to loose you.”
I looked up at him and smiled, too happy in that very moment to see the truth. I had never once asked him to leave his wife, and deep down I knew it was because he never would. He was never going to fully commit himself to me. The day would eventually come when my heart would get broken.
* * *
Ricky beeped the horn over and over, even when I was halfway to the car.
“Alright, alright…don’t get your panties in a twist,” I said, getting in.
He didn’t say anything in response, didn’t even look my way. I wasn’t sure how long his silent treatments lasted, but it had already gone on longer than I expected. I figured he would have let it go and moved on by now. I almost fell over yesterday when he completely ignored all of Heidi’s usual advances. I had to stifle my smile when she jeered at his rejection, knowing it didn’t happen too often for her, if at all.
“Ricky?” I finally said. “How long are you not going to talk to me? It’s making these car rides very unpleasant.” I hoped my teasing tone would ease the stormy look in his eyes.
“What’s there to talk about?”
“What happened the other day.”
My phone vibrated in my purse, rattling against my house key. It was an unknown number, and for a split second m
y heart dropped at the thought of it being Danny. I realized there was no way he could have my new number.
“Hello?”
“Alexa…hi. It’s Ethan.”
My eyes darted over to Ricky, who glanced over in my direction, a curious look on his face.
“Ethan.” I said slowly. “Hi. How’s it going?”
“Pretty good. Is this a good time?”
No! This is the worst possible time to call!
I could see the storm in Ricky’s eyes darkening.
“Um…I’m actually heading into work. Can I call you later when I’m done? It might be a little late though.”
“Yeah, sure. I just wanted to see if you want to go out Saturday night. Call me whenever. I’ll be up.”
I assured him I would call at the end of my shift. Stuffing my phone back in my purse, I avoided Ricky’s face all together.
“What did he say?” He was gripping the steering wheel so hard the veins in his forearms were bulging.
“Nothing…I told him I would call him back later.”
“Did he ask you out?”
I paused, not sure whether or not to lie.
“Did he?”
I looked over at him. “He wants to go out Saturday night.”
“No way. Saturday is our busiest night. I need you at work.”
I let out a dramatic sigh. “I already know that Ricky. I’ll be at work on Saturday.” I should of just dropped it there and let him think he had the upper hand. But I couldn’t help myself. “I’ll tell him Sunday is better.”
“What? Sunday? I thought you were on the schedule?”
I shook my head. “Nope…Casey and Heidi.”
“Well, I might need you to come in and help Mia behind the bar.”
“What?” I cried. “I don’t know how to bartend. Besides, Sunday is the slowest day for the bar.”
“I can’t believe you actually want to go out with that guy…”
“Why? He seems nice. The kind of guy that could commit.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing. I’m just saying…I’m not interested in being someone’s love lackey.”
“So, what are you trying to say? That I’m the kind of guy who can’t commit?” he scoffed.
“No, that’s not what I’m trying to say.”
It really was, but I didn’t want to admit it to him.
“Because I can commit. I bought the bar. Isn’t that a commitment?”
“Ricky, that’s different. The day you get tired of the bar you can put it up for sale. It doesn’t work like that in a relationship. Besides, I made myself a promise...” I trailed off, regretting the words as soon as I said them.
“What promise?”
I kept my mouth shut.
Ricky kept looking over my way, waiting for me to open my mouth.
“Will you look at the road?” I yelled.
“What promise, Alexa?” he yelled back.
“That I wouldn’t get myself involved with a guy like you ever again! Okay? Guys like you mean nothing but gallons of Ben and Jerry’s and long nights crying like a mental patient.”
I let out a breath of exhaustion, relieved when we pulled into the bar’s parking lot. “Plus, you’re my boss.”
“Since when has that mattered to you?”
The comment caught me so off guard that I did a double take, looking at him straight in his dark clouded eyes. I let out a sarcastic laugh. “Your. An. Asshole.”
Before he had a chance to bring the car to a complete stop, I was hopping out.
“Alexa!” he called.
I slammed the car door shut and heard tires screech against the pavement. He peeled away, driving over the curb and down the road, disappearing for the rest of the night.
* * *
I had wondered all night whether Ricky was coming back to the bar to give me a ride home from work. It was just about midnight when he strolled in, completely ignoring me.
“Are you giving me a ride home?” I asked him. He sat in his office chair, his baseball cap plopped down next to him.
“Can’t. I’m going out,” he said, without looking at me.
Heidi strolled over and stood behind me, leaning against the door frame and crossing her arms across her ample chest.
“I’m ready when you are,” she said to him.
“Let’s go beautiful.” He got up from the chair, following her out of the door. I looked to Mia, my mouth hanging open. She shrugged her shoulders and offered to take me home. I didn’t bother waiting to call Ethan and pressed the SEND button as soon as we got in the car.
“Sounds great,” I said. “Sunday is perfect.”
“Oh, shit,” Mia whispered, teasingly. “His head is going to pop off his shoulders.”
I shoved the phone in my purse, ignoring the text message from Ricky.
Ricky: Did you get home okay?”
“Unbelievable,” I muttered. I shut off my phone to thwart any attempt at texting him back.
Chapter 12
The Date
MIA GAVE ME a ride to the mall earlier today to find something to wear for my date with Ethan. She helped me pick out a pale blue lightweight cotton dress that showed off a little more leg than I was used to.
“If Ricky saw you wearing that he would flip the freak out,” she said.
“What are you talking about?” I asked. “He’s barely said two words to me for days.”
She laughed, insisting that I swung by the bar with Ethan before our date.
“What is it with you?” I chuckled. “Are you trying to make my life more complicated?
“I just think it would be good for him,” she shrugged.
“For what?”
“To be with a girl like you. Ever since you stood up for him in the fourth grade, he’s been carrying this torch for you. You’re like his holy grail.”
I offered her a nervous smile. I quickly changed the subject, trying to pretend like I didn’t know what she was talking about. But I remembered well. The memory was etched into my brain like a movie I’ve seen a hundred times. It was shortly after Ricky’s mom was diagnosed for the first time. She had been going through chemotherapy and had loss most of her hair. She had shown up to our winter concert with a beautiful scarf wrapped around her head. Some of the kids starting picking on Ricky, giving him a hard time about his balding mom. I’ll never forget the look in his eyes as he tried to walk away, staring at his mother across the room. I gave those kids a piece of my mind, grabbing Ricky’s hand and storming off with him.
“Thanks,” he said to me, the smile finally returning to his face.
“No problem,” I said.
It wasn’t long after that when his mom’s cancer went into remission, and her hair grew back.
By the time we were at the register, Mia was going on about my brother and his problems with the baseball team. I half listened as I remembered the look on Ricky’s face after I had told him kissing him was a mistake. I had seen that face before, only it came in the form of a ten year boy. Suddenly, I had started to feel so guilty for reacting the way I did.
* * *
I added one more coat of mascara to my lashes when my phone rang. It was Ricky.
“Hi, Ricky,” I said, sounding as upbeat as possible.
“So…tonight’s the night, huh?” he said.
“What is it? Don’t tell me someone called out because I just called-”
“No, no one called out,” he replied. “I just wanted to hear your voice and say that I’m sorry for what I said to you in the car that day. You’re right. I am an asshole, and I hope you have a good time with what’s his name tonight.”
“What’s his name?”
“Yeah, you know who I mean…chinos.”
I laughed in a way that only Ricky knew how to make happen. “Ricky, you’re not an asshole…although you can have asshole-ish tendencies,” I teased. “And I’m sorry, too. I didn’t mean to upset you either.”
“So does
that mean your going to cancel your date?”
“No!”
I heard the doorbell in the background.
“I gotta’ go. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”
“Lex?”
“Yes?”
“Can I pick you up?”
“Sure.”
I hung up the phone, surprised at how much I was looking forward to seeing him.
* * *
Ethan drove for a good forty-five minutes until we finally arrived at the restaurant. He opened the car door, pulled my chair out and in for me, and even ordered us a very nice bottle of wine.
I looked around the restaurant, feeling a little uneasy. It reminded me of Danny’s restaurant all the way from the linens on the table to the very impressive menu.
“Wow…this place is amazing,” I said, taking a sip from my wine glass.
“I’ve eaten here once before. I had the same waiter. He was really good.”
“Where I work they’re called waiters. I’m pretty sure here they’re called servers.”
Ethan laughed. “How did you end up working there? You always loved to cook. I remember you were the best one in Mrs. Stilts Home Ec. Class.”
“Yeah, those were the good old days.”
“Seriously…why aren’t you working in some fancy restaurant?”
I swirled my glass, watching as the wine dribbled down the side. This wine had good legs, as Danny use to tell me.
“I did…up until about six months ago. But, I had to leave and come home for a bit. Get some things situated.”
I did the counting in my head and calculated that today was the very last day of my chastity promise, as Mia called it.
“Where were you coming from at the airport?” I asked.
The waiter brought us our meal, carefully setting each plate in front of us. We both ordered the same thing: herb roasted lamb chops with a balsamic reduction served with a summer vegetable medley.
“I was visiting my dad in Texas. He moved there after he and my mom divorced.”