by Maisey Yates
He kept on going, his fingers working in and out of her, his tongue keeping time.
A rush of arousal hit, sensations that ran down deep beneath her skin. In her blood. It was too much. She didn’t think she could handle it.
She knew what to say to make it end. But she didn’t want it to end.
“Oh, please...” she said. “It’s too much.”
He didn’t stop. He didn’t have to. And she couldn’t force him. And that turned her on even more, pushed her over the edge, her orgasm crashing over her like a wave. Her internal muscles contracted around his fingers. She tried to grab on to the blankets, to something, to hold her to earth. But she couldn’t because her hands were bound.
Because he’d seen to that. That he could control everything.
“Oh, Austin...” He continued to pleasure her, pushing her further, harder. She was too sensitive. She wasn’t ready. “Please, st—” She cut the word off. He’d promised he wouldn’t stop, but she had to be sure he wouldn’t. She needed him to keep going.
But she wanted to see what he could do. What he would do.
He growled and hitched her legs over his shoulder, withdrawing his fingers from her and holding her to his mouth, focusing on using his lips and tongue.
She couldn’t even protest now, nothing more than sobs escaping her lips as he pushed her over into another climax, her breath stopping in her throat, everything going dark for a moment as it hit.
He moved away from her then, reaching for his wallet and a condom, and shucking his clothes. She couldn’t do anything but lie there, her hands bound, sweat beading over her skin, her hair sticking to her neck.
“You’re mine,” he said, rolling the condom onto his length, his hand moving slowly, methodically, over the hard length.
Her mouth went dry watching. Her desire rising already. Impossibly.
She shouldn’t be able to come for a week after what he’d just done to her, and yet she found she wanted more. Wanted it all.
“Yes,” she said. “I’m yours.”
“Did I make you forget yet?” he asked, leaning in, his lips close to her, his arms on either side of her.
“I can’t even remember my own name,” she said. Except she could. She could still feel the darkness creeping in around the edges.
She pushed it away and focused on him, only him.
“Katy.” On his lips, it didn’t sound the same. It sounded new. Unfamiliar and filled with possibility. This Katy could be something else entirely. Whatever she wanted, because from him, the name seemed new.
When he pushed inside of her, there was no room for darkness. Because Austin filled her.
“Katy,” he said again. And she faltered.
She remembered who she was.
He kissed her neck, his teeth scraping her skin.
“More,” she begged, fighting against reality. Against the pain that was pushing again.
“More?” he asked, dragging his teeth along her neck again.
“Harder,” she said.
He bit down, a shot of pain going from that point down, sending a dart of pleasure to her core. “Yes,” she breathed, as sensation that came from Austin took over, getting rid of all the rest.
Then he was moving in her. Hard, fast, one hand beneath her ass, and one covering her breast, teasing her nipples, squeezing them.
“Austin, please.”
“Not yet,” he said, his teeth gritted. “Not yet, baby. It has to last.”
His movements slowed, and she could feel each inch of him as he slid out, then back deep inside of her. Exquisite torture. Perfect and cruel.
He kept her from coming again, kept her poised on the brink. Their pleasure in his control, and he knew it.
She arched her back, tried to urge things along, but he stopped her, holding her hips steady with his hand as he kept his thrusts measured, until sweat broke out on his forehead, the cords in his neck standing out, his muscles shaking.
“I can’t hold back,” he said. “Oh, Katy.”
“Then don’t.” She was desperate for release, desperate for him to lose his control now.
He growled, lowering his head, his movements turning hard and erratic, pushing her over the edge.
She let out a hoarse cry, her orgasm tearing through her like an animal. No sweet crashing waves, no ebbing and slowing pleasure. This was a living, breathing beast intent on taking over her entire body.
On consuming everything in her and leaving nothing behind.
When it passed, she quieted, satiated for now. She lay there, trembling, Austin’s arms around her. He held her close, his hands moving over her body.
“And tonight,” she said, “don’t leave.”
“I don’t have anywhere else to be, my Katy,” he said, kissing her temple, untying her hands and throwing the tie down onto the ground. “After I take care of this.” He kissed her again and walked into the bathroom, returning a moment later with the condom taken care of.
Then he lay down behind her, his arms around her. His chin resting on her shoulder.
From him, that was romance. She wasn’t sure she wanted romance, but it made her feel all warm inside. Made her feel kind of fuzzy. And that was as unfamiliar as the screaming physical pleasure.
Being in Austin’s arms made her feel safe and cared for. She wanted to be Katy. If she could be his Katy.
And for tonight she wanted that. Needed it even. And that brought a new guilt, pushing at the edges of her euphoria. She shouldn’t want this. Not with him. She shouldn’t want this with anyone, not when there was still work to be done. For Sarah. For every woman Jason Treffen had hurt. Later there could be rest, but she shouldn’t be allowed this now.
Still, she was stuck in a blizzard. And they couldn’t do anything tonight. She couldn’t fix it tonight. Not for Trey, not for Sarah.
So maybe...maybe it was okay to rest in this tonight. To be his tonight.
He slid his fingertips along her arm. A soothing touch that had more to do with connection than sex. It was such a strange and powerful thing. To be in someone’s arms. To be touched by them. Really touched. With purpose. With desire. Even unconsciously, nothing more than the drifting of his hands over her skin.
It was connection on a level she’d never experienced before. But it was always like that with Austin. From the moment she’d met him, before there had ever been physical contact, there had been a bond.
She couldn’t explain it. Couldn’t even begin to try. And she wouldn’t want to, because she’d sound like a nut-bag. But then, she already did. She was sure of that.
And she would let herself have it. If only for now. This world of feeling, this desperate, raw, painful sensation that she sought out, was the direct opposite to the numbing bluntness she’d sought out from the pills.
“At least our crazy lines up and hits all the right places,” she said. “And creates orgasms.”
He tightened his hold on her, a laugh rumbling in his chest, vibrating against her back. “That’s one way of looking at it.”
“You’re so good,” she said. “Just so you know. Best I’ve ever had.”
“I’m the only you’ve ever had.”
“Weren’t you listening? I’ve had a lot of things. None of them made me feel this good. Sexually? Yeah, okay, you’re the only I’ve ever hard.”
“Because? I’m asking now because now I know you weren’t just hanging out being a paragon.”
“It’s easier to sneak pills past your sleeping brother than it is to sneak a man past him?”
“That’s all you’ve got?”
“It makes more sense than the truth.”
“Try me,” he said, shifting so that his thigh was between her legs and he was all tangled up in her.
“That I felt like I knew you when I saw you. Like maybe you could know me. Because you were so composed and smooth. So sexy. But you were sad. And you were angry. You were so familiar even though I’d never seen you before. And I wanted to touch you. I’ve ne
ver...needed to touch someone like I needed to touch you.”
He cupped her cheek and turned her face, kissing her. Deep and slow. There was no desperation, just a steady hunger that he fed, that somehow grew the more that he satisfied it.
“Now you’ve touched me,” he said, kissing her again, “quite a bit.”
“Yes. And do you want to know something else?”
“Of course.”
“I wanted this. I had fantasies of it. A man who would hold me down. Tell me what to do.”
“Is that so?”
“Does it shock you? That I’ve always known I had a submissive streak?”
“A little, because I can’t say I was that articulate to myself about my own fantasies.”
“I knew them,” she said. “The moment I saw you, I knew. I knew you were the one I could share this with.” The honesty came with a cost, but in truth, she was always honest in her actions with him. Laying herself bare every time she expressed a desire to submit to him.
“And do you regret it? Sharing this with me?”
“Never. Though you have a habit of tying my hands.”
“And you like it.”
“Yes,” she said, happier now that she’d just gone ahead and admitted it. And she wouldn’t think of anything else, of anyone else. Because she wouldn’t allow any ghosts in bed with Austin and her. She wanted to have him all to herself. She wanted to give him all of herself without caring about Jason and Sarah.
Just for a little while.
“That’s what I like to hear.”
“You’re such a control freak,” she said, wiggling in his arms and turning to face him.
“And?” he asked, a teasing glint in his eye she couldn’t remember seeing before.
“And nothing. Carry on.”
He slipped his hands down to cup her butt, pulled her tight against him. “Don’t worry about that.”
“Again?” she asked.
“I need more time to recover than that.”
“You’re hard already.”
“Still, I think the top of my head blew off sometime during my orgasm.”
“And you’re waiting to regrow it?”
“Something like that.”
“Too bad.” She slid down, wrapped her hand around his erection and leaned in, flicking her tongue over the head of his cock. “Because I think you really want this.”
He grabbed her hair, jerked her head back. “Hey, that’s not the game.”
“This is a new game,” she said, running her tongue along his length. “Where I get to play with you as much as I want. I’ve never seen a man like you.” She moved her hand up, over his chest and stomach, feeling the rough hair that was sprinkled over his hard, hot muscles. “I’ve never wanted a man the way I want you. You own me,” she said, sucking him deep into her mouth.
He grunted, his fingers still buried in her hair, pulling hard as she sucked on him. “Yeah, baby,” he said. “Yes, Katy.” He flexed his hips, pushing himself deeper into her mouth.
She held him steady, moved her hand in time with her tongue.
He swore, holding her tight while he gave up, his muscles shaking while he found his release. While he lost his control.
He lay on his back after, breathing hard, and she moved to him, lying over his chest, tracing shapes over his muscles with her fingertips. She took pride in the fact that his skin was slick with sweat. In the fact that, for a moment, he’d been the one at her mercy.
“You didn’t have to...”
“Mmm,” she said, licking her lips. “Shut up.”
“Maybe we should stay here,” he said. “Being snowed in isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.”
“Damned with faint praise.”
He bit her ear and she jumped. “Best I’ve ever had,” he whispered, his voice rough and sexy.
“And from you I guess that’s something,” she said, feeling breathless and sexy. Feeling like things were okay, even if it was just for a moment.
“There have been some women. But no one like you. Nothing like this.”
“So you’ve really never done this stuff with a woman before?”
“You couldn’t tell?”
She laughed. “A little bit I could tell. But only because you freaked out after. So what? You just discovered your inner dom?”
“No, not really. I would never have called it that. I’m still not sure I would. I don’t know anything about clubs or...that kind of thing. But I knew what I liked,” he said. “I’ve just never...acted on it before.”
“Oh, really?” She situated herself so that she was partly on top of him, her breasts crushed against his chest. “This intrigues me, Austin. I want to know all about your sordid fantasy life. You’re an overachiever. A go-getter. You’re so confident and established in your life. You’ve had lovers. So it fascinates me that you knew what you wanted, but never did anything about it.”
“Hey, I know what I jack off to. I was hardly unaware, naturally.”
“I know what I used to get off to, as well. Fantasies of handcuffs and men in uniform—don’t judge me. I have a thing for authority figures, which is ironic since in my real life I hate being told what to do. I guess that’s sort of a window into my psyche. But this is your story. Do tell. Make it my very dirty bedtime story.”
“There isn’t anything to tell. I knew that I liked the idea of being in control in bed. That I got turned on by the thought of tying a woman up. But I thought...you know, that stuff wasn’t for me. I mean, hell, all I needed was for an ex to tell the media that I, a lawyer who, like my father, takes a special interest in cases concerning women being harassed, was into domination games. Can you imagine the field day they’d have?”
“Image-conscious even in bed?”
“You have to be in my position. That’s why my mother couldn’t even cry in front of Addison and I when she found out my dad was having an affair, that he was in legal trouble. Because appearance is everything, and nothing else really matters.” He cleared his throat. “So yeah, even in bed you have to make sure there’s nothing that would damn you if it got out.”
“Is that the only reason?”
“No. Because it takes a hell of a lot of...trust? Something. I don’t know. And I never felt like I could with anyone else. Yeah, it is trust. To let this part of myself show. To let it have free rein.”
“How could you trust me? You knew me for twenty minutes before you had me tied up in a hotel room.”
He smiled at her. “I could ask you the same question. You said I was the first man you trusted to do this stuff to you.”
“Well, I make unhealthy life decisions. I think we’ve established that.”
“You’ve made a lot of healthy ones, too, Katy. Don’t forget about all those just because you made bad ones, too. You got off drugs, you took care of your brother, you got work and you’re doing all of this to try and get justice for your sister. To free these other women. The ones who were involved in the past, and now, and who would have been taken in in the future.”
“You make me sound like a saint.”
“No. Just a sinner who’s done some pretty extraordinary things.”
“Or maybe a sinner with good intentions? Though, you know what they say about good intentions and the road to hell....”
“I don’t believe that,” he said. “I think good intentions do matter.”
“What the hell difference do they even make?”
“They make you who you are. If my father had a good intention inside of him then maybe things wouldn’t have gone the way they did for Sarah. For any of the women involved in this.”
“But it takes more than good intentions to fix a mess like this.”
“And you’re doing it.”
“So are you,” she said, thinking of his mother and sister earlier. Of the pain he’d been through. That they’d been through. “I think we can rest easy for a night.”
“Tomorrow we have to go back. And we have to go to his New Year’
s Eve party. I do wonder when my mother will drop the bomb.”
“When she does, what will you do?”
“Me? I’ll stick close to my father,” he said, though his tone was less decisive than it usually was when he was stating something he considered to be a certainty.
She was starting to recognize his tones. Whatever the hell that meant.
“But what about your reputation, Austin? Shouldn’t you distance yourself like Addison and your mom are? Shouldn’t you protect yourself?”
“I can’t afford to do that,” he said. “And I don’t deserve to do it.”
“Why?”
“Because I was so close to Sarah. To what happened. I should have listened then. I should have stopped it then. You couldn’t have done anything. You were a kid. You were a hundred miles away. I was right here. I don’t deserve distance now.”
She examined his profile, hard as granite, masking so much hurt. So much hate. For himself. He was so beautiful, the most beautiful man she’d ever seen. All hard muscle, and straight, perfect lines. And yet he hated himself.
She wanted to take it from him, shoulder it. Make him realize that he was worth more. Make him see what she saw.
And what do you see?
She didn’t want to examine it too closely.
“How long are you going to punish yourself?” she asked.
“I might ask you the same question.”
She took a deep breath and tried to shift some of the weight off of her chest. “I’d rather have you punish me. Let’s just stick with that.”
“For how long?” he asked. “How long are we going to do this?”
“I don’t know. Until the end? Until we go our separate ways and ride off into the distance? That’s what I plan on doing. I’m going to leave the city behind. I’m going to leave all the ugly behind. Wipe my feet on the whole damn East Coast, maybe.”
“Where will you go? Not the Bible Belt, I wouldn’t think.”
“Why not? Maybe I want to try out being a Southern girl. Sit on a porch somewhere and drink sweet tea. Soak up the sun. Sounds easier than this.”
“What else?”
“I was thinking California. As far the hell away from here as possible without leaving the continent. Sun. Palm trees.”