by Odessa Lynne
“Oh, fuck you.” Brendan tromped over beside him and eased his way to the ground. “Just five minutes. Swear to God.” He turned his head toward Cam, close enough that Cam could see the flicker of his eyelashes as he stared at Cam’s face.
“What?”
“I just find it interesting and more than a little coincidental that Rick finally meets someone and it turns out to be the former mate of one of his children. The wolves don’t really believe in coincidence, you know.”
“Yeah, I know.” He left it there.
“Rick’s always been a bit of mystery to me. He seemed so . . . I don’t know . . . wistful when anyone talked about mates. I thought he just hadn’t met the right one yet. Then I found out he didn’t believe he would ever have a permanent mate. Something the diviners told him about his fate.”
“Hmm,” Cam said, eyes closed, head back against the tree. The soughing of the wind had picked up and it reminded him of the sounds his father’s planes had made when they’d traveled. He hadn’t heard a plane overhead in years. He crossed his arms and tried to keep the breeze from stealing all his body heat. He should’ve picked a wider tree. But most of the trees around them were smaller than the ones they’d traveled through earlier. Maybe a forest fire had burned through the area in the past and cleared them out and left behind only newer growth.
Maybe.
Lots of maybes in his life lately.
“Maybe Rick wouldn’t want you talking about him behind his back,” Cam said.
“Maybe you need to start thinking about what kind of mate you want to be to him.”
“He knows what I can offer. He chose me, not the other way around.”
“Don’t try to take him away from us, Cam. I meant what I said. I can’t let you do it. He’s important to Trey. They’re like brothers.”
Cam twisted his head around, letting it loll against the flaking bark, and raised his eyebrow. “Henry used to talk about submission to his alpha, how anxious he was about his first heat. He was afraid it wouldn’t come that first season, I don’t know why, I’m sure you do, said he wouldn’t be allowed to do the things he wanted to do for his alpha, to prove his submission, if his heat didn’t come. I don’t think brother’s the word you’re looking for there, buddy.”
Brendan cleared his throat. “Maybe not quite like brothers. But you know what I mean.”
“He submits to you.” Cam rubbed his arms, trying to get some heat into them. His flesh had turned cold in just the couple of minutes they’d been sitting there. A t-shirt and jeans weren’t the right clothes for this shit. It occurred to him that hadn’t been the first time he’d had that thought. Funny, that. Except he didn’t feel like laughing. “I don’t know how he does it.”
“He does it because he respects Trey and he knows what I went through, what Trey made me face about myself. It wasn’t pretty.”
“Good. I hope it hurt like hell.”
“It did.” Brendan’s voice hid something there that caught Cam’s attention. “I won’t make the same mistakes I made back then, but that doesn’t mean I won’t do whatever it takes to protect my mate and his—our—people. You need to know that, Lujan. I regret what I did, I meant every word of that, but I had my reasons and I was doing what I thought was right. I’ll always do what I think is the right thing to do. I just hope I have a better vision of what the hell that is now and how to go about it so I don’t ever again hurt innocent people.”
A shiver raced down Cam’s spine. “We’ll end up with hypothermia if we sit here all night.”
Brendan sighed. “Alright,” he said, rubbing his hands briskly along his arms. “Forget the break, I’m ready to haul ass.”
They got back to their feet and had just started walking again when a crackle of leaves became a rushing crescendo in Cam’s head. As soon as the soughing of the wind picked up again, he lost his focus on the sound. Still—
He stopped abruptly, dragging Brendan around with him. “Something’s coming straight for us.”
Brendan released Cam just as quickly as Cam moved his arm off Brendan’s shoulders. He pulled his weapon, but Cam already knew it would be a wasted effort. The darkness had closed in on them and there was no way Brendan would be able to see well enough in the dark to see what he was shooting at.
A voice called out, “Alpha, it’s Ethan.”
Three seconds later, Ethan came into view, a lone shadow approaching quickly through the darkened forest.
Cam squinted into the dark. “Where’s Luis?”
Ethan stopped in front of them. “He’s safe.”
Relief weakened Cam’s knees.
Ethan continued. “First Alpha’s here. He sent me ahead to lead you to the den. He said he regrets he can’t accompany you himself, Alpha, but the heat fight has made everyone edgy and it won’t be safe for anyone to get too close because the drugs keep failing too quickly.”
“Son of a bitch,” Cam said.
At the same time, Brendan muttered, “Son of a bitch.”
Ethan laughed and the sound tingled all the way up Cam’s spine. “You two sound alike. It’s so funny.”
“What’s with this kid?” Cam said.
“Talk to Ash about it. I have no idea.” But Brenden reached out and patted the back of Ethan’s head.
Ethan shook off the touch. “I’ll carry Alpha’s mate for him since he’s injured.”
Cam turned his most pointed look on Ethan. “I don’t think so, buddy.”
“It’s safe.” Ethan stepped toward Cam, his eyes a faint glow under the light of the moon, the rest of him just a shadow of moving limbs. “Your stink won’t affect my senses and I’m strong enough.”
Cam crossed his arms, looking hard toward Ethan. “If I pass out, you can carry me. While I’m conscious, I’ll walk.”
Brendan ruffled Ethan’s hair. “Let it go, brat. Lujan’s a stubborn asshole and no one’s going to say you didn’t do your duty.”
“Yes, Alpha.”
“Now, get on his other side and let’s see if we can do this without it taking all night.”
“You should contact First Alpha. I could tell he’s worried about you.” Ethan’s own concern came through in his tone as well, even though he gave no hint of it with his words.
“He’ll have to wait, unless you’ve got a phone on you. We got detained, if you want to call it that, and everything I had got tossed. Trey’ll have to send someone to find it all later.”
The thought had never even occurred to Cam that Brendan should’ve been able to call for help after they’d escaped the run in with the alpha and her wolves. That it hadn’t told him just how much the events of the evening had affected his thinking.
He scrubbed his hand through his hair and shouldn’t have been surprised when he knocked several flecks of debris loose. Unfortunately, they landed in his eyelashes and when he blinked, they fell straight into his eyes. The burn was immediate and intense.
He rubbed his eyes. “What the hell,” he muttered. “This shit hurts.”
Brendan leaned closer, trying to see what Cam was doing. “You get something in your eyes?”
“Yes, and it hurts, dammit.”
“Usually does.”
“Don’t be a dick,” he said. “I know that. But I’ve never had normal eyes. The nerves weren’t right. I didn’t have a lot of feeling in there. Fuck. How the hell do you get the burning to stop?”
“I don’t know, you dig out whatever’s in there with your fingertips, or you let your tears take care of it.”
Cam huffed a short, sharp breath. “I know how to get shit out of my eyes, Greer. I’m talking about the burning. Is that normal?”
“Sounds normal to me.”
“I like my new eyes. I don’t want to fuck them up too soon.”
“If you fuck them up, you have the wolves’ tech to fix them.” Brendan jostled Cam’s arm. “You ready to get going?”
No. The thought surprised him and he stared at Brendan’s shadow too long.
&
nbsp; “You okay?”
“I’m fine.” But was he?
The answer came to him with the same breath-stealing rush he’d felt jumping off that waterfall a little more than a week ago.
Rick was his mate. But what if Rick had lied, what if submission wasn’t enough once heat season ended? What if the knowledge of Cam’s role in Henry’s death overrode Rick’s desire to have Cam as a mate?
He’d have to go back to the life he’d had, and . . . it wouldn’t be enough. Not any longer.
He needed Rick, wanted to stay his mate. Not just to honor Henry, not anymore. Maybe he’d needed that excuse because what he was contemplating felt far more reckless than usual—risking something much harder to put back together again than his life.
And what would he do if Rick turned that away now that he’d realized just how reckless Cam could be with something as precious as what Rick had been offering him?
Chapter 31
Overcoming his reluctance to face his future, Cam accepted Ethan’s and Brendan’s help with the walk. About a mile into the remaining journey, he started to pick up the whisper of movement in the forest around them. The wolves were out there. Not close, but close enough.
Another mile and Cam’s thigh started allowing him to put weight on it, and after that, the healing sped up in a remarkable way.
By the time they’d crested the last forested hill between them and the den, he was limping but walking completely on his own alongside Brendan and Ethan. His thigh burned, but not in the intense, pain-filled way it had after the injury.
“I’m supposed to escort you straight to Doc and Alan,” Ethan said, just as their path widened and the ground beneath his feet lost its soft give for the hard impact of stone.
Exhaustion replaced the tension riding Cam’s shoulders and back. “Sweet Jesus,” he said. “It’s about time.”
Cam limped along behind Brendan and Ethan, being careful with his footfalls. The dark slowly gave way to a soft glow outlining the path, and soon enough they were winding through the shadowed limbs of trees and between tall, narrow, closely spaced homes built to fit the spaces they occupied instead of the other way around.
The whole place had an interesting, lovely design to it that made Cam think of the home he’d grown up in. His father had been known for his eclectic taste, and their massive home had been built around a garden of trees that had stretched upward through all three stories. Solar glass had covered massive swaths of the upper floor’s roof, and Cam’s favorite thing had been to lie in bed and watch the leaves of the trees shake and shiver in the rain.
The door of a small building opened while they were still a good twenty feet away. Light spilled out onto the path and outlined the shape of a wolf.
Ethan stepped back and Brendan continued walking toward the opening. Cam followed.
The wolf wore a strange mask on his face, and the sight took Cam aback.
“This is Doc,” Brendan said, “and that’s Alan.” He pointed across the room.
Alan was older than Cam, but well-muscled and fit, and he had laugh lines around his eyes. He smiled at Cam. “Hey, you probably don’t remember me, but we’ve met before.”
Cam nodded. “Sure.”
Alan’s smile widened. “Sorry about that.”
For a second, Cam didn’t understand. When he did, he wished he hadn’t figured it out. He cleared his throat and tried not to look at the doctor’s fingers. “Yeah. I’ve got other stuff to worry about right now. Take a look at these claw marks for me, would you?”
Alan laughed and patted the swivel stool beside the table. “Have a seat and I’ll make sure everything’s healing okay. It doesn’t, sometimes, you know.”
Cam limped across the room, avoiding another lab table before stopping next to the stool. He sat. Blood dripped to the floor, not from his injury, but from the pressure against the fabric of his jeans.
One look at his pant leg and he knew in an instant he should have been dead. The fabric had soaked up so much blood it was probable the alpha’s claws had torn right through his femoral artery.
“Trey and Rick are probably already outside waiting, so you’ll want to make this quick. I’ve gotta let Trey know what happened.” Brendan had walked behind him and he sat on a stool a few feet further along the table and propped himself up with his forearm on the table’s surface. He had several cuts on his face, more dried blood in his hair than seemed realistic for his injuries, and a scab that ran from his temple to his ear. His eyes had lost their spark from earlier in the evening; he was tired, and it showed.
Alan ignored Brendan and said over his shoulder, “Come on in Ethan. No point hiding out there.”
A few seconds later, the door reopened and Ethan slipped inside. He didn’t come any further inside than to stand beside the door. Alan didn’t look back over his shoulder as he used scissors to cut through Cam’s jeans from knee to hip. Then he started cutting his way through the fabric all the way around the leg.
Blood smeared across his hands as he did it. Much more blood than Cam had realized he’d lost.
The leg of Cam’s pants plopped wetly to the floor. Blood spattered Cam’s boots and droplets glimmered against the warm hardwood floor. Cam glanced over to see Brendan staring at the bloody floor, a frown on his face.
Alan poked and prodded, and then said, “You’re healing fine. Tape will just interfere with the healing so all I’m going to do is wrap it.”
Within a few minutes, he’d wrapped Cam’s thigh in a sterile cloth and smoothed the self-sealing fabric over Cam’s skin.
“Shower, sex, do whatever you want as long as it doesn’t hurt. You can take the fabric off tomorrow. It sheds water, so it won’t hurt a thing to keep it on until then.” He spoke in a friendly manner as he gestured for Cam to turn and face the table.
“Shirt off,” he said. Once Cam dragged his shirt up over his head, Alan spent a few minutes examining Cam’s back.
“I don’t see anything to worry over. You already have a few scabs and the rest seem to be sealing up okay. If you start to feel sick, though, don’t wait to tell someone. That bacteria they carry around under their claws can be deadly for some people.”
“Got it,” Cam said. He twisted back around and tossed his shirt onto the floor with the missing piece of his pants.
Alan had already turned to take a look at Brendan’s head.
“We’re going to have to talk,” Brendan said. “We might have a problem with Devon and all this blood that gets thrown around.”
Cam eased his way onto his feet. “I can go now?”
Alan looked to Brendan.
Brendan gestured across the room. “Ethan, let Rick know Cam’s coming out.”
“Yes, Alpha.” Ethan gave Alan one quick, furtive glance then turned and left through the door.
Cam stood there waiting, his stomach tight and a faint tremor making his forefinger twitch with the slow thud of his heartbeat.
Alan and Brendan talked quietly while Alan looked over Brendan’s cuts with the same swift efficiency he’d used with Cam. Within a few minutes, Ethan came back, nodded to Cam and then placed himself by the door again, his fingers pressing into the wall behind him, his gaze fixed on Alan and Brendan with a bright-eyed intensity.
Maybe the kid wanted to be a doctor someday; Cam was too tired to try to figure it out.
He limped toward the door.
Ethan had left the door unlatched. A sudden gust of wind pushed the door toward Cam just as he reached for it. He stopped it with his palm. The soft thud made Ethan jump. He gave Cam a wide-eyed look.
Cam said, “If you don’t want someone sneaking up on you, you learn to close the door behind you.”
Ethan snorted softly. “I would hear them.”
“Can’t hear a smart wolf coming for you,” Cam said, and he tapped Ethan on the shoulder. “A plan is always smarter than a reaction.”
Ethan’s forehead pinched, but Cam let the wind push the door open, and he stepped outside. He
pulled the door closed behind him, giving himself a few seconds to adjust to the dark after the brightly lit building. He still wasn’t used to that; his implants had been quicker to adapt. He saw at least as well as before even in the dark, and the world had never looked as bright and colorful, as sharp as anything he’d ever seen with his implants, but . . . not the same.
Rick moved out of the shadows. He put his arm out, offering Cam his hand. “Did you say what you needed to say to Brendan?”
His voice had that deep, dark tone that made Cam think of submission. Cam had so much to say to him, and yet . . .
He stepped down onto the stone path and took Rick’s hand. “I’ve made my peace,” he said. “Let’s go.”
Cam wasn’t sure what he expected. He didn’t expect Rick to pull him in by the arm and wrap his other hand around the back of his neck and smush Cam’s cheek tight against the ridge of his shoulder.
“I was worried about you. I regret believing you might do something foolish.” His fingers caressed the nape of Cam’s neck. “You’re stronger than that, and I should have recognized that strength from the start.”
Cam tried to raise his head but Rick didn’t ease the pressure of his hold, and after a moment, Cam just gave in and wrapped his arm around Rick’s back.
No matter what Rick thought, Cam knew the truth. Some things had to be said. Even when saying them would expose the ugly parts of himself to someone who deserved better.
“I’m sorry I said what I said to you. I was pissed and angry and torn over what I was supposed to do but I had to do it. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have realized I was doing it for me, not for Henry. He was a good beta. He would have trusted his first alpha’s judgment. You know that. I knew it too, but I didn’t care. I just wanted someone to blame for what happened because there’s nothing left that I can do to the person who’s really to blame. I’m sorry for that too.”
“You aren’t to blame for Henry’s death.”
Cam laughed, bitter and hard. “Of course not.”
Rick released Cam’s arm and wrapped Cam in a tight hug. “We’ll talk about this later, but we will talk about it. You need rest.”
And that was that. Cam let his worry go in a harsh exhale and walked with Rick back to the home they’d shared over the last week and a half. It was time to move on.