"Hmm," I pondered. "I would have to say Rocky."
"Really, that's an interesting choice. Do you have a thing for inarticulate boxers?" He laughed in a mocking tone.
"No, I love to root for the underdog. I also love the relationship between Rocky and Adrianne. I'm a sucker for subtle romance."
"Wow." He leaned back into his side of the booth, seemingly disgusted by my movie choice. He acted as if I'd harmed him in some way by having an opinion that didn't coincide with his own. Perhaps there was more to Joshua than it seemed.
"What about you? What's your favorite movie?"
"Well, I like to see films. Most of what is out there is complete drivel. It's really hard for me to find a movie that I can tolerate. But, if I had to choose a film, it would be Citizen Kane."
"Oh," I said simply. The way he enunciated the word film made my skin crawl.
"Is there a problem with Citizen Kane?" he asked defensively.
"No," I replied, "it's just that I've never seen it."
"Have you been living under a rock?"
"Excuse me?" I asked, stunned. "That was uncalled for, Joshua. I must say you're kind of a movie snob."
"You'd better believe I am," he said. "I don't buy into the whole Hollywood trap where movies like Rocky are given Oscars and ridiculous actors like Stallone are able to rise to stardom. That guy sounds like he's been punched in the face way too many times. Seriously, the guy can barely act his way out of a paper bag. What other movies do you like? Weekend at Bernie's? The Muppets Take Manhattan?"
He laughed into his beer glass, evidently amusing himself. I was wishing that I hadn't finished my Moscato so quickly so that I could, in fact, toss it into his smug little face, smudging his perfect glasses. Although he'd probably insist they were called spectacles. What an asshole.
"As a matter of fact," I said, grabbing my purse and standing next to the table, "I happen to love Weekend at Bernie's. My cousin Morgan and I can recite half that damn movie and I'm not ashamed of it. As for The Muppets Take Manhattan, it is one of my favorite films from childhood and I'd be ashamed to date any man who thought it was ridiculous. The Muppets are an American institution, one that should be celebrated, not mocked. You could learn a thing or two from men like Jason Segel--"
Joshua interrupted me sarcastically, "You mean the idiot who developed the new Muppet Movie? Are you serious? That guy's a joke."
"You know, for someone who wants to write a hit screenplay, you have an extraordinarily limited view of what's acceptable and what's not."
"It's called having taste. Let me guess, you probably love watching Jennifer Aniston rom-coms with your girlfriends, don't you? You probably love those hideously developed plotlines. Wake up, Daphne. Get a clue."
"Oh, I'm awake, Joshua. And I've already gotten my clue. It's obvious that you're a total snob and you have no respect for other people's opinions. Because of that, I'll be leaving now. Thank you for the drink and the enlightening discussion on films."
"Seriously, you're leaving because I don't like your taste in movies? Or should I say your lack of taste in movies." He laughed again to himself. He was ridiculously smug.
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I am. And my parting words to you will be from another one of my favorite movies that I'm sure you despise. Pardon my French, but you're an asshole! Good night, Joshua."
"Ferris? Did you seriously just quote Ferris Bueller?"
"Yep. This Rocky loving, Bernie reciting, Muppet fan has quoted Ferris Bueller. I hope you are able to find the right girl, Joshua, because she sure as hell ain't me! Take care, Josh."
Proudly, I made my way towards the exit of the pub with my shoulders back and my head held high. Our waitress pulled me aside as I was nearing the oak of the bar.
"Okay, I'm impressed. That guy's such a dick. He comes in here all the time, but I never see him with the same girl twice."
"That doesn't surprise me," I said, looking back at Joshua. He glared at me from behind his glasses. I shook him off and turned back to the waitress.
"I always thought he was a player. But, after overhearing the tail end of your conversation it all makes sense. No one can stand to go out with him more than once!"
"Yeah. He needs to work on his social skills." I smiled, genuinely grateful for the reinforcement that I didn't overreact. Joshua really was an asshole.
"Come back another night and meet some of our regulars. They're not like him at all."
"That's sweet of you. I've been on two really bad dates in the last few weeks. I think I'm ready to throw in the towel."
"No, don't. Come in some other time and I'll buy you a drink, introduce you to some nice guys who won't insult you."
"Thanks,I'm Daphne."
"Mallory," she said pointing to her name tag.
"I remember," I said, "Thanks for being the tiny silver lining in my storm cloud of a date."
"Any time. Want me to spill a drink in his lap? I've done it before. I'm really good at making things like that look like accidents. I'm very gender loyal." Mallory's grin was devilish but sweet.
"No, that's all right. Let's let him sit there all by himself with nothing but his attitude to keep him company. My couch is waiting for me at home. I think I'll watch a romantic comedy just to spite the asshole." I laughed, hugged my new friend, and left the bar.
Once again, Morgan called as I was driving home. After sharing a few details of my horrendous date, I told her to meet me at my apartment so I could fill her in on asshole number two. She showed up at my door with an assortment of Jennifer Aniston romantic comedies (all of which I'd seen several times).
"Let's do it up right, girl." She smiled, referring to her stack of movies. "And after these, we've got to watch Weekend at Bernie's to celebrate you walking out on that fucker!"
Popping in the DVD, I was grateful for Morgan and Mallory. Dating was going to be tough, but at least these jerks had been a distraction from my sadness. I could only hope that soon I'd meet someone who would actually matter to me. Deep down I knew I deserved to meet someone who would make me feel as sexy, as beautiful, and as loved as Mayson had...hopefully more.
#
Chapter 21
Rings
"Ugh," I groaned to myself, looking at the clock. "Two more class periods to go." Even though I knew I should be utilizing my lunch period as productively as possible, I found myself lurking in my email inbox. Just as I was about to log off and get some grading done, I noticed an email pop up in my inbox. It was from Matt, Morgan's boyfriend. I liked Matt, but we didn't really communicate outside of our relationship with Morgan.
Hi Daphne,
I was hoping that you could do me a huge favor. I'd like you to help me choose a ring for Morgan--that's right, I'm going to propose! I have no idea what she'd like, though. You know her better than anyone.....will you please help me?
Thanks,
Matt
"Holy crap!" I thought to myself. Morgan was getting engaged, and I got to help pick the ring. Excitement boiled up in my chest as I quickly typed a reply to Matt, telling him that I'd be honored to assist him, knowing that my cousin would absolutely say yes. And now I was feeling the pressure to find the right cut, style, etc. for her ring. This was going to be tough, but I was up for the challenge.
I was so thrilled for Morgan that the rest of my day flew by quickly. I spent the rest of my plan period searching for rings on the internet, remembering that Morgan had mentioned how much she liked solitaire diamonds. I was pretty sure she preferred platinum to gold and wasn't hung up on the size of the diamond. I felt like I had my ducks in a row and I was certain that Matt and I could find something stunning.
Luckily, Matt and I were able to schedule our shopping trip for the very next day. Keeping secrets had never been a talent of mine and I was relieved that he kept Morgan busy the night before so that I wouldn't have to put on my best poker face.
"You know, you'll have to keep the secret even after we find the ring, right?" Matt asked, nerv
ous. He obviously thought I'd crack under pressure.
"I know," I said, trying my best to reassure him, "but at least once you purchase the ring, I can relax. I'm so excited right now I can hardly stand it."
"Oh good. I was worried this would be awkward for you. Because of, well, you know..."
Hesitating briefly before speaking, I took a deep breath, trying my best not to cry. "Yeah, I guess it's a little awkward. But my Morgan happiness means so much more. Just bear with me if I start to cry in the jewelry stores, okay?"
Matt cringed and I laughed nervously. "I promise it won't last long. My emotions seem to get the better of me whenever I think of him."
"Look, I know I only met the guy once, but I have to say I wasn't that impressed. He seemed, I don't know..." Matt's brow furrowed and he broke our eye contact, clearly conflicted.
"What? How did he seem, Matt? I'm interested to hear a male perspective."
"I don't know, Daph." Matt's frown deepened. He ran his fingers through his strawberry blond hair. "He just didn't seem good enough for you. You seemed kind of uncomfortable around him. I'm so used to seeing you act like a jokester with Morgan and all of your friends. You weren't like that around him. He was kind of a buzzkill. Like he expected your full attention or something. It was weird."
Struck by Matt's words, I felt stunned. Matt was normally the laid back, never-had-strong-opinions-about-stuff kind of guy. But clearly he had a strong impression of Mayson, and it wasn't a good one.
"I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. But I know how much Morgan wants you to be happy with someone else. Someone who really loves you."
"Morgan doesn't think he loved me?" Tears were forming and beginning to stream down my face. Matt looked like he was ready to run as far away from me as possible.
"Wrong choice of words. Someone who gets you. He didn't seem to get you."
"Oh, yeah, you're not the first to say that."
"I'm really sorry that I brought it up. You're doing me a favor and I feel like an asshole."
"To be honest, it would've happened the second they pulled the first ring out of the case. At least this way I can try to get my crying over with instead of freaking out the salespeople." Matt and I shared an uncomfortable laugh.
"Look, today's not about me...or Mayson. It's about you, Morgan, and your future together. Let's not go backwards anymore tonight."
"All right."
"Are you ready to find a ring?"
"Yeah, let's go," Matt said, taking a deep breath and offering me his arm. I wiped the last few tears off my cheeks and smiled up at him.
The jewelry store Matt had selected was intimidating. Several salespeople were standing nearby and each of them turned their attention quickly towards us as we entered the store. We found ourselves seated in front of a large case of platinum engagement rings. I shared Morgan's preferences with a saleswoman named Lisa who immediately began pulling ring after ring out of the case. Matt's face became increasingly pale as several rings sat before him.
"Take a deep breath, Matt. We're going to find the right one," I reassured him, patting his arm softly.
"So, tell me about your girlfriend," Lisa said.
"Well, she's awesome...so, so awesome," Matt said, color returning to his cheeks as he thought of Morgan. Lisa winked at me. "She's sweet and beautiful and calls me on my bullshit. Oops, sorry."
"It's not a problem," Lisa said with a smile.
"I'm lucky. She makes me really happy."
"That's wonderful," Lisa replied.
"I've been planning to do this for a while. In fact, I should've done it months ago and I'm not sure what was holding me back. But I don't want to let any more time go by." Looking at Matt with true admiration, I noticed his eyes were slowly glossing over as he thought about Morgan and his commitment to her. I wished I could record this moment in time for Morgan as I knew she'd love to see it.
After two hours of looking at rings from three different shops, we found ourselves back at the first shop with Lisa. Matt kept focusing his attention on two similar bands. Both had large solitaire diamonds in platinum settings, but one was a true solitaire with sculpting in the band. The other had a gorgeous, unique border around the diamond which reminded me so much of Morgan. It was striking yet whimsical, and not your average engagement ring. My gut told me that Morgan would fall in love instantly when Matt placed this exquisite band on her finger.
"This is the ring, Matt," I said with complete confidence.
"I was hoping you would say that. I think so, too. Both of these rings are really nice, Lisa. But this is the one I can see on her finger." Matt was beaming with pride as he handed the band to Lisa.
"Congratulations. We can have it ready for you in the next week if you'd like to purchase it now."
"Absolutely. I stole one of her rings from her apartment so that you could size it," Matt said proudly.
"Excellent." Lisa nodded, proceeding with the sale. Matt breathed a sigh of relief and I basked in his excitement, pushing down my feelings of sadness. Several of the rings we viewed looked so much like the ring Cece gave to me. But now that the shopping was complete, I felt drained and needed to retreat to the comfort of home in order to find solace. Tonight was a reminder of how wounded I still was.
#
Chapter 22
Dancing
It was Saturday morning. Morgan and I were planning to take a walk down to the local coffee house. As I finished watering the plants in my kitchen, Morgan wandered to my counter.
"What's this?" She said, holding the post-it note from months ago.
"Oh, it's nothing. I should throw that away."
"Or you could call him."
"Evan? What for?"
"Excuse me? What do you think? For a date. A real one."
"Right, because I'm sure the guy wants to date me after listening to me drag on and on about Mayson. Oh and don't forget how much he must have enjoyed sitting with me on my bathroom floor after I puked."
"As always, you're being way too hard on yourself." Morgan crossed her arms in front of her body, looking annoyed.
"I disagree."
"He's single. He and Matt just went out for drinks last week."
"Okay, I'll play your game. Let's assume he agreed to go out sometime. Wouldn't he think I'm only going out with him by default? Because Mayson is, well, no longer in the picture." I still couldn't articulate the words. I still couldn't acknowledge verbally that Mayson had died.
"Well, when you say it like that, yes, it does sound pretty bad. But he knows all of this. And I'm pretty sure he's still interested in you. Matt said he wanted to call you, but he wants to give you time to grieve."
"That's really nice," I said, pursing my lips together. He really was a nice guy.
"I don't get you, Daph. That night at the bar, you thought he could be the one Kim told you about. But you went right back to Mayson."
"It was just the alcohol. I was being ridiculous."
"Maybe." She shrugged. "But then again, maybe you're afraid."
"Afraid? Of Evan? That's ridiculous."
"No, afraid of something that might actually work out. He likes you and you like him. It's easy, it works, and it could lead somewhere. Mayson was difficult. Maybe you were drawn to that."
"You think I liked that?" I asked incredulously, bordering on tears.
"I'm not saying you liked it. I'm saying you might be afraid of actually finding your soul mate, of actually finding the right guy. Maybe you're not ready for the next step."
"Are you?" I asked. "Are you ready for the next step with Matt?"
"Yes, I am. If you asked me that same question six months ago, my answer may have been different. Am I saying that Evan is definitely the one for you? Of course not. I have no idea. But I do know that you two were drawn to each other that night and there's no harm in seeing if something's there."
"True. He is really cute. And thoughtful."
"I'm just asking you to give it one date, just
one little date."
"All right, fine. Give me his number and I'll call him."
Morgan smiled, handing me the post-it note.
That night, I pulled out the bright pink sticky note, took a deep breath, and dialed Evan's number. He picked up right away.
"Hello?" he said expectantly.
"Hi, Evan, it's Daphne. Um, Daphne Harper."
"I remember. I was hoping I'd hear from you, but I know you've had a rough time lately. I'm sorry about everything that happened to you."
"Thanks. I wasn't sure if it would be alright to call, you know, after how I acted. I'm sorry, Evan. I'm not normally like that."
"I know. I've paid attention. You're a nice girl. I know you were dealing with the hand you'd been dealt. No worries." He was so carefree, so quick to forgive. It was nice.
"Well, I was wondering if we could start fresh. Maybe grab dinner sometime?"
"I'd like that. In fact, I have an extra ticket for the House of Blues this Saturday night. My buddy blew me off and left me hanging. I'd hate to go alone. Do you like the Black Keys? They're one of my favorites!"
"That sounds awesome. I could use a night out."
"It's settled then. I'll pick you up at 7:00 and we'll head down for the show."
I hung up the phone, smiling. I was definitely looking forward to my evening with the laid back, understanding Evan.
Evan arrived right on time, looking just as I remembered him: trimmed short brown hair, hazel eyes, a chiseled chin and defined features. He really was attractive and the idea of another shot with him was becoming more and more desirable by the minute.
"You look great. It's really good to see you again."
"Thanks, you do too. Should we go?"
Evan and I had no trouble making small talk as we drove downtown to the House of Blues. He smiled frequently at me and I noticed an exceptionally cute little dimple on his left cheek. He was so confident, so attractive and easy to be around. Still, as attractive as I found Evan, I wasn't feeling any sort of electricity. Maybe it was all of the inept feelings that had surrounded me since that morning we said goodbye at my back door. Deep down I wondered if it could be more, but I worried we were just incompatible and no amount of drunken sexual attraction could fix that.
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