“You’re sorry?”
“Yeah, I’m sorry.” He looks over at one of the tables in front of the coffee shop, and says softly, “Can we sit?”
I think about it. Every fiber in my being is telling me to get away from him, but I know if I run, he’s just going to keep bothering me. “If I talk to you, then will you leave me alone?”
“Yes,” he says, and then, seeing the skeptical look on my face, he adds, “I promise.”
“Not that your promises mean anything,” I mumble, following him over to one of the little wrought iron tables in front of the coffee shop.
“So how are you?” he asks once we’re sitting.
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “No small talk. Say what you need to say.”
“Fine. I’m sorry for how things ended,” he says, “And I’m sorry for what I did.
I never meant to hurt you.”
“So you’re admitting that you made up all those rumors about me?” When everything when down at my old school, and all the rumors started up, Derek denied that he’d told everyone we had sex, or all the other disgusting things he said we did. Even when the girls at my school started calling me a slut and a whore, even when my friends turned on me, he still denied it. So to hear him maybe admit it for the first time is surprising.
“Yes,” he says. He shifts on his chair. “And I’m sorry.”
“Apology not accepted.” I feel like crying, but if Derek thinks I’m going to break down and have some kind of meltdown in the mall, he’s wrong. I’ve always had my meltdowns about him and what went on at my old school in private, and that’s not going to change now. “Is that all?” I ask, standing up.
“No.”
“Then what else?”
“That guy you were with the other day? Is that your boyfriend?”
“What guy?”
“The one in the parking lot?”
“No,” I say, “He’s not my boyfriend. Not that it would be any of your business if he was.”
“Really?” He shakes his head and leans back in his chair, hooking his arm across the back. “Because he seemed like he really cared about you. Much more than that other tool.”
It takes me a second to realize who he’s talking about. Brody. Last weekend when we all went to brunch. “Yeah, well, now that you’ve given your opinion on my love life, I guess I’ll be going.”
I sling my bag over my shoulder and look back toward the coffee shop.
“Thanks for talking to me, Natalia,” he says. “I’m not going to bother you anymore.”
“Yeah,” I say, “I’ll believe that when I see it.” I turn around to go, and for a second, I think I feel him grab my bag to pull me back toward him. But when I turn around, all I see is his back, walking away from me and down the hall.
***
Adrianna and I spend an hour in the party store, and when we leave, we’re nowhere close to coming up with a good way for her to ask Lancaster to homecoming. I do my best to forget about what just went down with Derek, and try to have fun messing around with the noisemakers, trying on the boas and tiaras, and picking out the invitations we’d want for our weddings.
When I get home, I hang my new dress in the closet, letting my hand slide down the front of the skirt. It really is gorgeous, and I’m kind of looking forward to being at the dance with Brody.
My mom’s at work, so I order pizza and while I’m waiting for it to come, change into my comfiest pajama pants, a tank top and my gray hoodie. I’m just settling in with my math book and a DVR’d episode of Glee when Cam calls.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hi.” His voice makes my heart catch.
“What are you doing?”
I wonder if telling him what I’m actually doing would make him think I’m a freak, but then decide I really have nothing to lose. “Honestly? I’m watching Glee and waiting for my pizza to get here.”
The doorbell rings.
“Sounds like it’s there,” Cam says.
“That was fast,” I say, getting up off the couch. “Every time I order from this place they never – “
I open the door, and Cam is standing on my doorstep.
“Hi,” he says, the side of his mouth turning up into a grin.
“What are you doing here?” I say, shutting my cell phone off.
“I came to see you. Can I come in?”
“Of course.” I move aside and he steps inside. And then, before I even know what’s happening, he turns to me, pulls me to him, and kisses me.
This time, I let myself go. I don’t stop him. I lean in, and his lips feel amazing and right. The kiss is perfect. And when I finally pull away, I have to catch my breath.
“Hi,” he says again, his forehead against mine.
“Hi,” I say, still a little breathless. We stay like that for a few seconds, my heart pounding so loud I’m afraid he’s going to be able to hear it.
The doorbell rings again, and this time it really is the pizza, so I pull myself away from Cam to answer it. He grabs some paper plates and cans of sodas from the kitchen, and we bring the box into the living room and settle in on the couch.
He opens up the pizza and slides a slice onto a paper plate. “Pepperoni and sausage,” he says, holding it out to me and nodding in approval. “Very nice.”
“It’s my favorite.” I take the plate from him, inhaling the scent of cheese and Italian spices.
“I find most girls are afraid of sausage.”
“Not me.” I take a sip of my soda. “So what’s up?” I ask. “Are you okay? After this morning, with the black butterflies…That was…”
“I know,” Cam says, suddenly serious. “It was creepy, right?” He puts two slices of pizza on his plate.
“Have you talked to Aiden since yesterday?” I ask.
“No.” He shrugs. “I’m not sure what to do. I don’t know how much he told Becca, or how much they’re onto me.”
“Onto us.”
“I like when you call us an us,” he says, his eyes meeting mine. He moves closer to me on the couch.
I look away, suddenly uncomfortable. Yes, that kiss was amazing. But honestly, the only reason it happened was because it took me by surprise and I lost my self-control.
I can’t be kissing Cam. Can I? This whole secret relationship thing is confusing, especially since I’m supposed to be going to the dance with Brody.
“Did you ask Brody to the dance?” Cam asks, like he’s reading my mind.
“He asked me.”
“Are you going?”
“Are you going with Raine?”
“You know I am.”
“This is getting complicated,” I say.
“Yeah.” He puts his pizza down and looks at me seriously. “At least we’re in it together.”
I grin. “I like when you call us a ‘we.’”
We spend the next couple of hours eating pizza, watching Glee (Cam’s never seen it, and even though he’s trying to make fun of it, I think he secretly likes it.) When I walk him to the door, it’s a little before eleven.
“When will I see you again?” he asks, stepping out onto the porch.
“Tomorrow at school.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
I hesitate. “I thought people weren’t supposed to see us together?”
“Who’s going to see us at your house this late? Besides, I parked two streets over.”
“You’re so covert,” I say. He takes a step back toward me, and when he kisses me this time, I let myself go even more than before, and when we pull away, for a second I almost let myself believe that we could be together.
I watch him out the window, loping across my front lawn and down the street.
When he’s gone, I settle down at the kitchen table. I have at least an hour of math homework left before I can go to sleep.
As I pull my book out of my bag, a small, gift wrapped box falls onto the floor. I bend down and pick it up, running my hand over the white ribbon. What the -
-- ? Did Cam leave me a present? No, I think, I was with him the whole time. Brody? It could be.
And then the answer hits me like a shot. Derek. When I thought he grabbed my bag, he must have slipped it in there.
For a second, I debate just throwing it away. But instead, I slip my finger under the ribbon and pull open the box, halfway expecting it to explode or shoot water at me or something.
But it’s just a piece of jewelry. A necklace, with a delicate silver chain. I pull it out of the box, trying to get a better look at the charm on the end of it. And when I do, my blood runs cold. It’s a stone, carved into the shape of a white butterfly.
Chapter Two
Campbell
Not five minutes after I leave her house, Natalia’s calling me.
“Miss me already?” I ask when I answer.
But then I hear her voice, and I know something’s really wrong. She starts to tell me about a weird butterfly charm that she found in her bag and maybe it’s Derek and how would he know Raine and she can barely keep her thoughts straight.
“I’m coming back,” I tell her before she even finishes.
“Cam, no. I’m just…I’m probably just being a baby,” she says.
“I don’t care. I’m coming.” I swing the car around in a u-turn as I say the words.
“Give me two minutes.”
I hang up the phone and try to calm my own fraying nerves. Ever since Natalia came to school it’s been a rollercoaster ride. Up and down, up and down. Just a little while ago I was on cloud nine, being with Nat, holding her, kissing her.
But then something weird always has to happen It’s not her fault, I know that.
But I don’t understand why it has to be so hard.
I park the car in front of her house and she’s already waiting for me, sitting on the front steps, looking cute and a little lost.
“Be honest, you planted this butterfly necklace or whatever it is, just so you could see me again tonight,” I say, as I walk toward her.
She’s got her arms wrapped around her legs and chin on her knees, kind of like a little kid would do. It’s pretty adorable. “No. And that’s not funny.” She smiles anyway.
“Let me see it.”
“I don’t even want to touch it.”
“Where is it?”
“Back in its box, just inside the front door.”
I open the screen door and the box is sitting there. I get a chill just looking at it.
“Wow.” I try to laugh, shake my head like it’s just something stupid her ex did, but I’ve got this pit of unease in my stomach. Kind of like how I felt when I opened my locker this morning.
I open the box and look at the necklace. And I have to admit, it’s kind of beautiful in a way. Like, part of me is almost jealous that I’m not the one who bought it for her. Did he even buy it? Maybe the crazy nutcase made it himself in his psycho dungeon workshop. I shake my head.
“What?” she says.
I look down at her, holding the box in my hands. “Nothing. Just kind of at a loss for words.”
“I’m scared, Cam.”
“Don’t be. It’s nothing.”
But that’s a lie and we both know it.
“I feel like something bad’s about to happen. And I can’t make it go away.”
“You’re just stressed.” I sit down next to her and put the box to the side.
“Is that a message to me?” she asks, nodding at the box. “How did Derek know about the butterflies?”
“Maybe it wasn’t him who put that thing in your purse. Maybe it was…Brody.
Or Raine.”
“It wasn’t Brody.”
I give her a look.
She leans into me. “Seriously, I really don’t think he has anything to do with this.
And not because I like him. I just…I have a feeling about him, that he’s a good person.”
“Yeah, Brody’s a great guy all right. Especially when he’s giving wedgies to the freshmen kids on the JV squad.”
“It’s not Brody,” she says. “He wasn’t anywhere near my bag today. And neither was Raine. It’s Derek.”
I sigh and stand up. “Fine. Then let’s do something about it.”
“Do something?”
“Yeah. Come on, get up. I’m sick of just sitting around waiting for everyone else to make moves. We need to take control.”
“What, like a drive-by?”
I laugh. “No, not a drive-by. More like a stakeout.”
“No. No way.” She starts shaking her head like I just told her we were going to invite Raine and Derek on a weekend camping trip with us.
“You know where the guy lives, right?”
“Cam, I don’t want to go anywhere. It’s late and I’m scared.”
“I’ll protect you.”
She softens a little bit. “How?”
“Nobody’s going to hurt you when I’m around. I promise.”
She believes me. Maybe because she can tell that I mean it. “Okay,” she says, finally. “Okay. Let’s go.”
***
Derek lives across town near Main Street, a bit of a rougher area than most people I know who go to Santa Anna. Which is probably because he doesn’t go to Santa Anna.
But the street is quiet this time of night and I park far enough away that it’s very unlikely he’d notice us even if he was looking out the window. But the house is completely dark.
“Looks like even psychos have to sleep sometime,” I joke as I turn the car off.
“Very funny.”
Natalia’s got the bracelet in her hands and she’s examining it intensely in the semi-darkness. “You think this cost a lot?” she asks.
“I don’t know.” I sit back and stare at the dark house and the car sitting empty in the driveway. “That his car?”
She looks up and nods. “Mmmhmm.”
“That car see a lot of action between you two?”
She flinches. “That’s not—“
“I’m sorry,” I say quickly, feeling horrible. “Bad joke.”
“Terrible joke. And no, for your information, that car saw very little action. All we ever really did was kiss.”
“If you don’t mind me asking…why the hell were you even dating that guy in the first place?”
She keeps playing with that necklace as she talks and I want to tell her to stop touching that thing. But I’m not sure why I want to tell her to stop so I don’t say anything. “It’s weird. I mean, the whole relationship with Derek was weird. He wasn’t my usual type of guy. He was funny but always in trouble at school, always getting kicked out of class for goofing off or something.” She pauses for awhile. “But I saw something in him. He was deeper than that, more than just some crazy troublemaker. At least, I thought he was.”
“Do you still?”
“No. We only went out for about a month and then he started acting kind of bored and distant. It seemed like he wasn’t having fun anymore, at least not with me. I’d already decided to break up with him when I started hearing the first rumors.”
I grit my teeth. Part of me is seriously considering knocking on this guy’s front door, dragging him out of his house and beating his ass right here and now.
“At first it was just weird looks and people laughing as I walked by in the halls. I thought I was just being paranoid. Pretty soon it was all over Facebook and I was getting emails calling me a slut.”
“What did he say you did?”
“Disgusting stuff. He told people I was too kinky and I’d totally freaked him out.
That I was into…” She makes a face.
“You don’t have to say it.” I grip the steering wheel so hard my knuckles turn white. “I should have knocked him out when he came up to you in the parking lot at school the other day.”
“No.” She looks at me. “I don’t want you getting into a fight over me. And besides, I have a feeling Derek can handle himself . He used to take boxing lessons.”
“He won’t have a cha
nce to box me if I put him through a wall first.”
“Cam. Please.” She puts a hand on my shoulder and I relax.
“Sorry.”
“No, it’s fine. I kind of like it that you’re so protective.”
I stare at that car. That empty car in the driveway. “Maybe I can’t punch him, but I can do something.”
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