by Michelle Day
Still with his forearms resting on the worktop, he turned his head to the side to look at her over his shoulder, “Don’t touch me Suzie.” He spoke quietly.
“Why not? You like it.” She smiled at him, her hands stilling but not leaving him.
“You told me you wanted to make a go of your relationship and I think that perhaps you should so standing here, touching me, isn’t helping your cause.”
“Good point. But by doing this, I’m not undermining my relationship.”
“Ok. How about, I can’t do this Suzie. I can be your friend or I can be with you but I can’t be your plaything when the mood takes you. Ok, that’s a lie, I could totally be your plaything but I want more and you know it.”
“Does the fact that you stink of sex and another woman have anything to do with you not wanting me to touch you?”
He straightened then, his hands still resting on the side. “Probably.” He admitted.
Suzanne stepped back, giving his back one last stroke before she walked around to the other side of the breakfast bar. “What’s her name?” She asked.
“What’s it matter?” He countered. “What are you doing here?” He changed the subject.
“I have an early flight to catch, a customer wants me to go to New York shopping with her for her daughter’s wedding and as your house is closer to the airport, I stayed here. Why are you up so early?”
“I’m going to Gloucester, got a train to catch.”
“Want a lift to the station?” She asked.
“Er yeah, do I have time for a quick shower?”
“A very quick one yes.”
And a very quick one it was. Before she knew it, they were in her car heading for the train station. Finding a convenient space for her little car, she hopped out to unlock the boot so he could retrieve his bag.
“Have a safe trip Suzie.” He slammed the boot and stepped away, “And thanks for the lift.” He began to walk away before seeming to think better of it and turning back.
His fingers traced their way down her cheek, before slipping around the side of her neck to gently cup the back of her head. His lips lowered to hers in the merest hint of a kiss with the gentle caress of his tongue over her lips as he pulled back, looked deep into her eyes and turned away again, making his way to the guard at the platform.
He didn’t look back, didn’t even attempt to and she had the distinct feeling he had just said goodbye.
Chapter Eight
Helen greeted him with a smile, a large mug of tea and the promise of breakfast once he had put his bag in the spare room between Gavin and Luke’s rooms.
The door to Carmen’s bedroom was still closed and guessing that she had worked the previous evening, he left her to sleep and made his way back down the stairs.
Putting a plate containing a full English breakfast in front of him, Helen turned to seven month old Gavin, happily slapping his hands on the tray of his highchair as he waited for his own breakfast. Luke was sitting on a grown up chair equipped with a booster seat beside him, making a delightful mess with his boiled egg and soldiers.
“Thanks Helen.” Paul murmured and, avoiding Luke’s eggy fingers liberated the brown sauce from the centre of the table.
“That’s ok.” She replied over her shoulder as she shovelled baby cereal into his sons’ mouth.
“You know, I could do that.” He offered.
“You can feed him at lunchtime if you insist. You’ve had a long journey after an early start so just relax for a bit and enjoy your breakfast.”
The conversation between the two adults had finally caught Gavin’s attention making him dodge the spoon Helen tried repeatedly to push into his mouth as he stilled and stared at the man across the table.
Engrossed in a muddled conversation with Luke as he tried to wipe egg from his fingers, Paul didn’t at first notice that Helen had moved to the sink and Gavin sat stock still until Luke slipped from the table and toddled off into the adjoining room.
“I guess he’s finished.” Paul stated looking to where Helen had been sitting. “Erm, why is he staring at me?” He asked, his eyes not leaving his sons.
“Oh,” Helen turned from the washing up to lean back against the sink, regarding father and son, “He does that. He’s quite intense but you’re lucky, he usually starts screaming, he must like you.”
“It’s seriously unnerving.” Paul sat back, still holding his sons gaze. “He looks like me.” He observed.
“Yes he does, he looks an awful lot like you, he has Carmen’s eyes though, colour wise I mean, they aren’t as dark as yours but they are the same shape as yours. He has the temper though, but honestly, how could he fail to have it? You and Carmen are both fiery and it would appear he has inherited a healthy dose of both your personalities.”
“Does he cry a lot?”
“No, hardly at all actually but you’d know that if you’d bothered to come and see him sooner.”
Paul bristled at that statement, “I’ve been busy Helen. I have a business to run.”
“I do know that but it would seem your out of work activities have kept you more than a little distracted.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He scowled at her and folded his arms defensively across his chest.
“You haven’t exactly been a wall flower now have you Paul. Your exploits or should I say conquests have had enough publicity for all and sundry to see.”
“I don’t have any ties, I’m single, have been since Carmen called it quits so I fail to see who I spend time with matters to you.”
“It matters because Carmen sees it and is hurt by it.”
“Then perhaps she shouldn’t have kicked me out.”
“Perhaps she shouldn’t have but she still has feelings for you, you probably never stopped to give that a moments consideration did you?”
Paul paused before snapping off an answer. He didn’t want this; he had wanted this visit to be pleasant and fun even though he was sure there would be moments of awkwardness. Helen was right; he hadn’t considered Carmen’s feelings when he had been playing up to the press for publicity and perhaps he should have handled it with a little more maturity.
“Sadly, I didn’t. I will from now on.” He admitted.
“No one expects you to be a monk but a little diplomacy wouldn’t hurt.”
“Ok, I appreciate you pointing it out to me.” He glanced back at Gavin who was still staring at him. “Doesn’t he blink?”
Looking back at the infant, Helen smiled, “Looks like he’s filling his nappy that requires a lot of concentration when you’re seven months old.”
“Terrific, I’ll remember that.” Paul watched as Gavin’s little cheeks began to redden and then he shot backwards, coming to his feet and just managing to catch his chair as his son’s first bout of projectile vomiting barely missed him. “Oh my God, that’s disgusting.” He managed to get out before the dry heaving started.
“It’s ok, this sort of thing happens.” Helen jumped forward to pull Gavin out of the highchair.
Paul waved her away, “I’ve got this.” He spluttered between trying not to vomit himself. He plucked his son out of the highchair and held him at arms length, a fresh bout of dry heaving shaking his frame as the smell hit him and the sight of partly digested baby food began to drip onto the floor. “I have to learn to deal with this stuff sometime.”
Helen had grabbed a cot sheet from the ironing pile and wrapped it around the dripping child, “Take him upstairs and strip him off, I’ll start the bath running.” She swept from the room, calling to her own son, figuring the two boys may as well bathe together.
The sound of boyish giggles and deep masculine laughter woke Carmen. Wrapping her dressing gown tightly around her, she shuffled to the family bathroom to find the two small boys, the walls and most of the carpet covered in bubbles, the volume of which was increasing steadily even as Paul, amidst laughter, crawled on his hands and knees around the floor in a vain attempt to keep the bubble o
ver flow to a minimum.
Rather than being annoyed at being woken and the mess, Carmen found herself smiling at the sight of the two clearly very happy little boys as they, or rather Luke, launched yet more soapy bubblieness over the side of the bath at Paul.
His clothing had become damp as more and more bubbles settled on him, his jeans were clinging to his thighs making crawling forward difficult but he couldn’t help laughing. Luke had a mischievous grin on his face as he clapped his hands causing yet more suds to float into the air. Gavin’s dirty laugh filled the air as Luke’s projectile landed on Paul’s head.
Carmen stepped forward and grasped Luke’s hands as he went to clap them again. Pursing her lips, she blew gently, making the soap teeter on the edge of his nose much to her own sons delight as he giggled and splashed in heightened amusement.
Sitting back on his haunches and wiping the soap from his face before resting his hands on his thighs, Paul looked up at her and she could see he was trying to gauge her mood. She was in fact, glad to have been woken; she had slept for far too long and had a lot to do today. Paul’s presence would be a huge help as it meant she didn’t have to drag a pushchair and a reigned Luke around the shops with her.
She smiled at him as she perched on the edge of the bath and continued the game of flicking bubbles. “You look like you need some dry clothes.”
Paul looked down at his t-shirt and jeans, “Yeah, I’ll change in a bit. Sorry if we woke you up. Things got a little out of hand.”
“It’s ok. I needed to get up. How are you?” she asked but she could see for herself how awkward things had become between them.
“I’m good. You?”
“I’m very well.” She paused. “This is awkward.”
He let out a soft laugh, “Yeah.” He agreed. “Are you working tonight?”
“No, I only do Monday to Friday.”
“Oh, ok. Erm, if I can persuade Helen to babysit, do you want to go for a meal or to the cinema or something?” He asked.
“A meal would be nice, we do need to talk.”
“I know. Do you think you could book a table? I’m not too sure where is a good place to eat around here.”
“Alright.” She agreed. Standing, she bent to gather Gavin into a towel and addressed him over her shoulder, “Do you think you can get Luke dried and dressed?”
Coming to his feet, he took another towel from the rail and plucked the youngster from the bath, rubbing him dry as he squirmed to be free.
“I have a few things I need to get done today, you could come with me or, if you prefer, you can spend the day with Gavin on your own, the second option does come with a hefty side of Luke as well though.”
“I’d like to spend some time with both boys if you are sure that’s ok.” He admitted.
“Ok, I’ll write down everything you need to know and then I’ll leave you to it.” She left the bathroom to dress Gavin while Paul took Luke to his own room and did the same.
A somewhat frazzled Paul greeted her on her return from shopping but both boys had been fed and seemed content to sit and play with the oversized building bricks, Luke busily building a large brick square while Gavin happily threw bricks in his direction.
Checking that Paul was happy to look after the boys while she changed, she left him to it and headed upstairs.
Settling both boys into their chairs at the kitchen table, Paul helped Helen dish up their evening meal then sat to assist his son eat it.
“Thanks for looking after Gavin tonight Helen.” He spoke to her as he fed his son. “I can put him to bed before we leave if it makes things easier.”
While she was aware that Paul was making a great effort at being amenable, Helen couldn’t help but think he had an ulterior motive. Spurned in matters of the heart herself by a man she had loved deeply, she was all too sensitive to the games they played and although Paul was still young, he most definitely was a player and she didn’t want her best friend to be hurt yet again.
“Just what is it you hope to achieve here Paul?” she asked and watched in mild satisfaction as his shoulders stiffened.
He turned his chair sideways so that he could see her and still feed Gavin. “I hope to achieve something that isn’t awkward every time I visit as well as actually lay down some ground rules about when I get to see my son.” He scowled at her “I appreciate everything you do with him Helen and I’m sure Carmen does too but whatever happens between her and I is none of your business and I can’t see why you would choose to put yourself in the middle.”
“I don’t want to see her get hurt again.”
“It wasn’t my intention to ever hurt her; she played a very big part in that, she ended it, she told me to leave and not once in any of it did either of you consider my feelings. I may not show them, I’ve learnt not to, living with my father, that’s a skill you learn very quickly to avoid a beating but I do have feelings and I was hurt by what she did. My motive here isn’t revenge for that, it’s just to achieve a sense of unity where raising our son is concerned, whether or not that evolves into something more between Carmen and I remains to be seen.”
“So you would happily put yourself into a relationship with someone ten years older than you for the foreseeable future?” Helen pushed.
“If you mean in the sense of raising a child together then yes but if you mean a full time, monogamous relationship, probably not.” He replied honestly. “I’m not ready for that and even if I was, I doubt Carmen would be the one I would commit myself to.”
Helen gasped, truly shocked by that last statement. “You’re quite happy to use her then?”
“I won’t do anything she doesn’t want me to but equally, I won’t be pushed out of my son’s life over a difference of opinion. I pay the bills and a healthy sum of maintenance as well as any incidentals where Gavin and the house are concerned. I won’t have him or Carmen wanting for anything but I won’t allow myself to be pushed into something I don’t want. I’m sorry of that doesn’t appease your sense of right and wrong Helen but I’m not here to satisfy your needs now am I?”
“You’re a pig.” She spat.
Paul shrugged and stood, removing the bowl from the high chair and his sons grasp, “I’ve been called worse.” He shot back at her while walking from the room.
He had to admit, the evening they spent at the restaurant was immensely pleasurable, despite Helen’s attempt to dampen his mood, he found he was feeling more than amiable and conversation between them flowed freely. There were no barbed comments or cautious looks and it was almost as if they were a happy couple out on a date night.
His mood was further buoyed by Carmen’s acceptance of his requests of more time with Gavin. With his heart hammering in his chest, he began on his more demanding requests, hoping that she would continue to be agreeable and not cause a scene, pleasantly surprised when she agreed to let him take the boy home with him sometimes to enable him to spend time with his Grandparents, Uncle and Aunt.
Grasping the bull by the horns and on a deeply drawn breath, he jumped in with both feet and asked to be able to take Gavin to the family villa in Spain, his breath hitching when she hesitated. She initially resisted letting Paul take him but only while he was so young. He heaved a sigh of relief that she hadn’t outright refused but agreed to re-visit this conversation at a later date.
Carmen’s general demeanour also helped to keep the mood light, she was in a good mood and admitted that it had been so long since she had been out to eat she was excited to be here which gave him a warm, glowing feeling to be able to give that to her.
He may no longer love her but he most definitely still had feelings for her and liked to make her happy. The fact that she looked absolutely stunning this evening had nothing to do with it or so he told himself. Who was he kidding, the way she looked had everything to do with it but what was he going to do about it?
The reason she had told him to leave all those months ago was because of their differing attitudes towards sex, mainl
y that he wanted it and she didn’t. If he was to make a move now, it might just ruin everything they’d achieved and agreed on this evening. She hadn’t given any indication whatsoever that she still wanted that kind of relationship with him. In fact, the only person that had mentioned sex was Helen and she only did that in an attempt to make him feel bad.
From Carmen’s point of view, she was just generally happy to be out of the house, drinking good wine and eating good food. Paul’s pleasant mood just made her happier and she was so pleased he was accepting her boundaries where Gavin’s care was concerned with good grace instead of acting like the petulant teenager he could easily slip into being. In his current mood, he was exceptionally good company. She had forgotten that he was an amusing conversationalist and was slightly smitten by the twinkle in his eye when he talked about their child and their plans for his future.
She still wasn’t immune to him despite the distance she had put between them. He had been nothing but charming and caring since he had been here. He had complimented her appearance and expressed his pleasure that the new house had come together perfectly and seemed genuinely pleased to be in her company but he hadn’t shown even a remote interest in her as a woman, only as a mother and she was a little miffed by that. She had made a huge effort with her clothes and make up as she prepared for their evening together and while his compliment was welcome, it had come across as something he would say to his own mother or sister rather than a compliment paid by one lover to another.
She became slightly irritated by the waitress hovering by him and the way he openly flirted with her but then it struck her, that was just him, that was how he had spent most of his time at school, flirting with one girl while dating another and getting away with it. Giving herself a mental slap, she conceded that the waitress was a pretty girl and would draw many a man’s eye as well as she, herself had no right to say who he flirted with or not.
She chose to ignore the fact that Paul wouldn’t suffer a guilty conscience if he chose to go home with the waitress instead of her and that as she had effectively put an end to their relationship over sex, he would be more than likely to gravitate towards someone else, anyone else before he made another move on her.