by C S COURT
It cuts me so deep already, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am falling for this wonderful human being already.
Hunter finally releases me, taking my hand in his and pulling me to join the others on the sofa. We tuck ourselves up in the corner, our bodies resting against one another and our legs entwined together.
“You two make the cutest couple.” What, why would Lottie say that?
My face flames in humiliation.
Every person here knows I have a family thanks to the conversation in the bin.
I go to pull away from Hunter, realising how utterly inappropriate my actions are proving to be, but he pulls me back, tighter than before. “Don’t. I know the deal and I still want you. There’s no harm in us getting to know each other. Stop fighting it and just feel for once.” Easy for him to say.
“How can you say that? Of course there’s harm in it! I’m leading you to believe that whatever this thing is between us can lead somewhere. IT CAN’T!” I hang my head in shame, how could I lead him on like this? It’s cruel really. I’m not the kind for a one night stand, never have been, and that’s why this needs to stop now, before we fall deeper and cannot get out.
“You are not for one second leading me on, I like you and want to get to know you. I’m not saying we are gonna run away in to the sunset together and never come back, I’m just saying let’s simply have some fun and if it goes anywhere so be it. You can’t tell me you are happy with the situation you are in, so whatever happens, ultimately happens. We will deal, if and when it comes to anything.”
I take in every word he has just spoken to me. They hit me hard, as I never have been happy with my life and am desperate for an out.
Is there any harm in getting to know this man and trying to find a tiny bit of happiness just for me?
I want this, I have never wanted anything more, regardless of Dan. I’m just not sure my conscience will let me do anything.
“Oi lovebirds, are we gonna get this party started or are we all gonna sit around discussing the tosser that’s soon to be out of Connie’s life?” Lottie sings, before taking a gigantic gulp of Sambuca, and gasping in shock from the after burn. “Wow, I keep forgetting how strong this shit is, here, take!” She thrusts the bottle in my direction, and I take it eagerly, needing something to take me out of this reality and numb me from the pain.
“Shit,” I hiss, feeling the alcohol hit my empty stomach and starting to feel a bit queasy. “I don’t suppose I can be really cheeky and ask if you happen to have any food in?” Probably not, this place still has boxes stacked in every corner of every room from what I can see.
Hunter stands, taking me by the hand to his kitchen.
I check out his delectable backside as he opens the twin fridge/freezer and bends over to pull out a chocolate trifle. “This okay?” I look around him, finding it highly amusing that the only things he has in his fridge is a girly trifle and some milk. Talk about random.
“Yep.” I say drawing out the ‘P’ on the end. “Can I ask why you only have a girl’s desert in your fridge, no beer, no meats just chocolate?” Hunter removes the lid from the trifle and rummages through a draw to pull out a spoon, he still doesn’t answer me as he hands me the food on a raised eye brow and I start to feel sick with worry that I have somehow offended him.
I back away, waiting for his temper to blow and be on the receiving end for my stupidity.
As I flinch at his sudden raised arm, he looks me in the eyes, his gaze unwavering as he seems to be studying my reaction to him.
His hand pauses in the air, before he continues to lower it and strokes my cheek in what some would call a lover’s touch.
I tilt my face to show him I’m not afraid of him, feeling immediately stupid for even thinking the worst of his actions for a split second.
We stand like this for what feels like hours, when in reality it is probably only close to thirty seconds before I turn my attention back to the food.
I collect the spoon off of the side and dig in, moaning at the heavenly flavours making their way across my tongue.
I see Hunter’s hand reach for his groin area of his jeans out of my peripheral vision.
He appears to adjust himself before turning to get another spoon and digging in with me. He also hums from the back of his throat in appreciation at this chocolate wonder.
It is absolutely delicious, and although it is Hunter’s food, I in a way begrudge sharing.
“To answer your question, the trifle was a present from my mum, she has it in her head that a trifle is the perfect housewarming gift for a twenty nine year old man. Although I must say, her cooking is the bomb, and this dessert just proves that theory.” He says, in between mouthfuls.
I look at him in question, “Hang on, your mum made this? I just assumed it was shop bought, it is truly exquisite. If my mum could cook like this I would be hounding her for food day and night, unfortunately the woman tends to burn most foods, including frozen pizzas and chips. Therefore I think I would avoid all efforts from her, food poisoning is not a good look for me.” I reply on a giggle, Hunter joins me in laughter, clearly enjoying our kitchen banter.
“Yeah. I love my Mum, but the lady is a nag, a really terrible nag. What grown man wants to come home to find his mum has let herself in to his house and is collecting dirty washing and sorting through his draws? If it wasn’t for the fact she could cook, I’m sure I would have disowned her by now.” We both laugh at that, mine feeling slightly hollow.
It must be annoying for a man of that age to have no privacy from his own mother, but I would love my Mum to just turn up at mine and be able to take care of me in any way at all.
Dan would never allow my Mum to just appear at mine, she gave up a long time ago trying to gain access to my home, choosing to wait in the car or meet us at hers instead.
I shake off the sudden pensive thoughts and choose to continue having fun, I cannot keep going to those bad places, it’s not healthy.
“Ha, yeah I suppose I could see how that would be annoying. I’m sure if she leaves you yummy treats behind it soothes the sting a bit though?”
Hunter looks to be lost in his thoughts for a second, before a full bellied laugh comes from him.
I jump at the suddenness of it and giggle with him. “Erm, yeah, maybe. But you have to think, what if I have company over? Or have things in my draws that no mother should know her son has, well maybe not know but definitely not see with her own eyes?…. Come on, eat up. I think we need to all loosen up, how about a drinking game?”
At the look of horror that spreads across my face, Hunter rushes to soothe me, “No, no, no. It’s nothing bad, I promise, it will be fun. I’ll even let you girls choose the game if you want?”
I consider this, wondering what’s the worst that can happen if I get to choose the game. I’m not a silly little girl any more that will be playing silly games.
This could actually be quite fun.
I feel myself lose all tenseness again, and nod at Hunter, throwing him a grin that I’m sure looks completely sinful and flirty at the same time. “Bring.it.on.sucker.” I tell him, finishing the trifle whilst Hunter raids his cupboards, before locating some shot glasses and a bottle of Jack Daniels, throwing me a wicked smile at the look of panic that spreads across my face.
I cringe on the inside, knowing this is going to get messy.
Holy crap, there is no way I will be able to walk out of this apartment by the time we are finished. I have no idea how I’m still standing after the sheer volume of Sambuca I’ve consumed as it is…. Eeeekkk!
We are all sitting on the floor in front of the sofa in a circle, Lottie to my left, Hunter to my right and Harry opposite me.
I cannot believe the game Lottie has talked me in to playing.
The girl is relentless when it comes to something she wants, and boy did she want to play this game. I swear she did this just to rile me up.
I was quite spirited before I met Dan and the cow know
s it and is without a doubt playing on it. We are all sitting here playing ‘I have never,’ the rules of the game are simple, we all take it in turns to ask a question, if you have done what is being asked you take a shot, if you haven’t you don’t. And so far, every question the cow has asked is something she knows full well I have done. The boys thankfully are being quite conservative with their questions at present, and have yet to down a drink themselves.
“Okay, I have one.” Lottie says, slapping her hand on the floor to get our attention, it’s not even her bloody turn. “I have never, played strip poker.” I glare at the cow bag, she knows I have, back when I was leaving school at sixteen.
I down a shot, throwing angry expressions towards Lottie as I do. The boys are still sat, with an untouched drink before them, watching the pair of us battle it out with their heads tilted at an inquisitive angle.
“My turn, my turn.” I shout, getting in there quickly before Lottie can embarrass me any further. The boys are looking quite shocked by my rebellious teenage behaviour. “I have never, streaked down my road in the rain.” I sit there, waiting for Lottie to down her shot.
Two can play at this game.
Okay it was my dare that had her streaking, but she did it and I have never let her live it down. Especially as her boyfriend at the time walked down the street and caught her in the middle of the act, making Lottie so humiliated she refused to ever see him again.
The men gasp as Lottie downs her shot, clearly amused at the thought of her drunken arse streaking in the rain, and probably turned on too.
She’s still giggling and clearly loving this game.
The girl has no shame, I don’t think she will care what I throw her way.
“My turn” She sings, cutting Harry off mid speech. “ I have never, kissed a girl…. With tongue..” Oh the cow, she is going to get it later, for now I’m feeling too pissed to do anything about it, except take another shot with the boys.
That was a one time thing, also a dare from back in school and the cow knows it.
She’s making me out to be some giant floozy.
I hear Hunter mutter he would have loved to have seen that, and I just pretend not to hear it, knowing realistically the majority of the men on the planet probably would love to witness two girls snogging first hand.
The boys are batting their heads between us girls, drinks untouched, and clearly shocked by our admissions, but also clearly enjoying hearing it. The only person who knows any of the things I did pre Dan is Lottie, well was Lottie.
“Right girls, enough! It’s my turn. Seeing as you both are a pair of giant sluts, I have no reservations about upping my questions to riskaaayyyy!” We hear Harry say, but we are both too busy staring each other down to look in his direction.
Our competitive natures have reared their heads.
We both break out in giggles at being called sluts. It’s not said in a malicious way at all, but in a jovial way. “I have never, had anal sex.” I sputter, looking directly at him.
Blimey! That’s a bit forward for a drinking game, isn’t it?
We all just sit, staring at one another, waiting for some form of reaction.
“Yuk.” Lottie says aloud, “That is one question I refuse to drink to. Not light-hearted and fun in the least, and frankly, what I decide to do in the bedroom, I don’t want common knowledge amongst friends, thank you very much.” Amen to that.
I don’t want to have to drink to my sexual habits or what Dan has forced me to do, and judging by the look on Lottie’s face that is exactly why she has gone on the defence, for me.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It was a joke and obviously a poor one at that, but it stopped you two tearing each other’s throats out with your dirty secrets making mine and Hunter’s evenings. As much as we enjoy hearing these things, I would like to get a word in edge ways.” Harry replies, holding his hands in the air as if warding off an invisible attack from Lottie.
Thankfully we all laugh, realising he was trying to become included in the game before we ran out of booze.
For some reason the thought has me falling to the side in laughter.
What must we have looked like, battling each other with our long hidden secrets from ten years ago? How hilarious. The boy’s didn’t stand a chance with our competitive streak.
Although done in good humour and us both playing with the other, to outsiders we really can look quite vicious.
I can’t stop, the alcohol has all of a sudden hit me full force and I’m feeling light hearted, numb and finding everything highly amusing. I feel good, and fuck everything bad in my life!
“Woohoooo,” I shout, once I gather myself together enough to speak, unable to focus properly on everyone, they are all a tad blurry.
“Let’s play a different game. Let’s play..” I’m thinking up a game as Lottie jumps in shouting “SPIN THE BOTTLE BABY!!” Oh crap, maybe not that.
“Uh uh uh, Connie you will be playing so wipe that look off of your face, cause you are not escaping anywhere. Your arse is too drunken to make it to the elevators in one piece as it is.” She’s right, I really am quite drunk.
I don’t even give myself a chance to change my mind, I agree then and there to play, thinking for once since Dan came in to my life, I am going to have fun and fuck the consequences.
Lottie places the bottle of Sambuca in the centre of us on its side.
Attempting to spin the bottle and just knocking it slightly so it is no longer facing Hunter, but is facing me.
By the smirk on her face I can tell she did that deliberately, and so can everyone else. “Okay, first kiss is Hunter and Connie. Show me some action you pair of hotties you.”
I’m about to tell her to spin again, as that was clearly set up, but Hunter turns towards me, lust evident is his eyes before placing his hand on the back of my head and pulling me slowly towards him.
My mouth opens in anticipation of his touching mine, and I wet my suddenly dry lips from the thought.
His lips are barely brushing mine before I am left wanting.
Hunter has moved back to his spot, leaving me with my mouth open in invitation and my body in longing.
“What the hell Hunter? I was expecting some serious tongue action.” I hear Lottie screech from opposite me.
I’m far too shell shocked to even ask.
Hunter replies to her whilst looking at me, lust still dancing in his eyes and his voice all husky, “Where’s the fun in that? We need to build up to it. Second kiss includes tongue, third includes some dry humping, and forth, well, by then I can assure you we will need a room.”
What? Hang on, hang the fuck on! Dry humping? Needing a room? Oh good god, what have I gotten myself in to?”
“What on earth Hunter? You have got to be kidding me?”
“I’m sorry. You were just too easy to wind up, I couldn’t resist temptation.” He says without looking at me, struggling to hold in his amusement at my reaction.
Cheeky sod, I need a revenge plan!
He eventually looks my way, obviously once he knows he won’t burst in to laughter.
I keep catching glimpses of Harry and Lottie, having quite an intense conversation over something to do with her phone.
It’s bugging the hell out me.
I’m trying to look intimidating to Hunter, even though I bet I’m coming across as a twat, but I’m far too intrigued by what they are arguing about. Fuck it, Hunter can wait. I want to know what has gotten Lottie so worked up. “Oi Lots, what’s wrong?”
Lottie looks to be in a panic, snapping her head every few seconds to Harry as if begging for some assistance with something. “Erm,” she says.
Harry nods, encouraging her to continue. She sighs and rolls her shoulders back, trying to gain strength to do whatever it is she needs to do.
Harry puts his arm around her shoulder in support.
“Connie I really didn’t wanna tell you this, not tonight anyway, but clever bollocks over here thinks you need to know asa
p,” she pauses, throwing a pissed off look in Harry’s direction. “I just received a few photos from Diane. Babe, if you want we can look at these tomorrow when we are sober and thinking clearly, but to be honest I am fuming and have sobered up pretty damn quickly.”
I feel physically sick to my stomach, what could she have to show me that is so bad she feels the need to put it off?
I suck in a few short, sharp breaths, building the courage to deal with whatever it is I need to see. “No, show me now. I will worry all night otherwise and I want this over and done with.” I tell her, voice completely unwavering and also instantly sobering up at the sorrowful expression on her face, not even Harry can look at me without pity.
Maybe I don’t need to see this, do I?
“Okay babe, I’ll pass them to Hunter and he can go through them with you. I’m right here if you need me, but I won’t move to sit with you as I don’t want you to feel trapped babe. Okay?” I nod my head at the phone, ignoring the rest of what she said, just anxious to find out what is on this bloody message.
Hunter holds his hand out and retrieves it from her grasp. She keeps hold of it for a few seconds, reluctant to let it go before sighing and dropping it in to his open palm.
I tense up, ready to bolt at the slightest thing I don’t like.
I don’t think I could stay in this room with everyone if it is so awful and they all know.
Hunter clicks on the message from Diane, the picture loads before popping up with an image that looks to be Rhia and Dan holding hands.
I swing my head up to Lottie, a clear question in my eyes.
She reluctantly nods, letting me know it’s exactly what it looks like.
My Dan, with my ‘friend’ Rhia, what the fuck?
Hunter pauses for a beat, checking for my reaction before sliding across to the next couple of pictures. I’m utterly gobsmacked, my stomach just drops out from under me and I retch at the sheer shock of it.
I run, as fast my legs will carry me blindly through the living room and past a hall leading off the gym.
I open every door on my way, trying to find the toilet before I empty my stomach content.