by Vi Carter
“Don’t distract me, Scarlett.” His voice has grown deeper.
I look into the lens of the rifle. “Now what?”
“Just take in what you see. I want you to really feel the rifle under your fingers.”
He moves away and I feel the loss of his warmth straight away. I do as he asks. The gun is cold under my hand but I know it’s a weapon that can do so much damage. There is power in touching it, but it also leaves me with an uneasy feeling.
“How do you feel?” The excitement in his voice has me looking at him. It’s the first time I’ve seen him genuinely excited and realize he’s sharing something with me that’s important to him.
“Wrong,” I answer him and sit up.
His excitement dwindles.
“Dean, thank you for showing me this, but I don’t think I could ever kill someone.”
His laughter has my eyes widening and my temperature spiking.
“What’s so funny?” I can feel the heat in my cheeks.
His dark eyes return to me but I can still see the laughter in them. “I only let you look through the lens. No one mentioned killing someone. But that’s all that’s on your mind.” He reaches out and touches my forehead. “Who are you picturing killing?”
His finger runs down the length of my face and I shiver under his touch.
“No one.”
You.
“I don’t mind you lying to me anymore, Scarlett. Do you know why?”
I shake my head as his hand runs to my neck. “Because I know when you are lying.”
His fingers jump from the vein that pulses through my neck.
“I scare you.” It’s not a question but a confirmation of the obvious. “Yet, you are attracted to me.” His lip tugs up slightly. “You want to kill me.” His grin widens and his fingers dance along my pulse. “Yet, you pulled me out of the car.”
I swallow as my eyes skip to the bandage on his head.
“You told me your name.” He’s not teasing, his eyes have softened and my lips tug down as he stares at me. “You gave it willingly.” He moves closer and I can’t breathe as he leans in and places the softest kiss on my lips. “Thank you.”
I nod, unable to find words.
“If I didn’t bring you here, do you think you could have liked someone like me?”
I blink and tears spill. I’m choking on too much fear, and I try to push it away. This is all bizarre but I try to calm myself by taking a few deep breaths. Dean doesn’t say anything and his hand rests on my neck.
“No,” I answer and his laughter does that funny thing to me again.
When he smiles, I mirror it through my tears.
“I think I like when you lie to me.”
Dean’s hand tightens on my neck and I fear this is where he switches to the crazy person, but he releases me and looks out into the forest. I see what he is looking at, it’s a deer. I don’t dare move. It’s looking right at us, it’s frozen, and I’ve never seen one up close. The deer is bigger than I thought it would ever be. Dean is moving so carefully towards the rifle. It takes me a second to piece it together.
I clap my hands, the noise as loud as a gunshot and the deer races away.
“Why did you do that?” Dean’s brows drag down.
I sit taller. “Why would you kill it?” Now I think how stupid my question is. He kills people, a deer would mean nothing to him. “Because I can.”
“Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you have to. It’s cruel.”
He’s staring at me and I know the moment he decides he’s shared enough. I try to think about what he is doing here, he’s trying to share himself with me and I’m knocking it each step of the way. I feel conflicted about what I’m feeling for him. He starts to pack up and I can’t take my eyes off his back. I shouldn’t feel sorry for him.
“Your aim is exceptional.” I reach for a compliment.
He puts the gun in the bag. “I know. Otherwise I wouldn’t be a sniper.” His dark gaze swing around to me. “Get up.”
I quickly move off the green tarp as he rolls it up. “You can’t get mad at me because I don’t like you shooting a deer.”
He pauses. “You said you wanted to know me. This is me.” He continues rolling up the tarp.
“You told me that holding the gun gave you peace.”
He pushes the plastic into the bag. “Yes, it does.” He answers without looking at me.
“Peace from what?”
He pauses and glances at me before standing taller. “My mind, it’s noisy.”
I could see that. I wouldn’t like to see inside his head.
I nod; not sure what to say.
“It’s kind of funny.” He’s smiling again and I can’t help but notice how handsome he is, and think if we had met under different circumstances, how building something with him would have been a pleasure.
“You stop the noise in my head.”
My heart picks up and soon turns into a full out gallop. I stop the noise in his head. I’m smiling again and I let myself smile, like really smile.
He drops the bag he’s holding and steps up to me. “So, you’re like my rifle.”
I laugh and his eyes widen in surprise. “Don’t compare me to a gun.” A gun that spilt so much blood, my smile wobbles.
He captures my hand in his. “I like the peace that Scarlett brings to me.”
I frown at him, not sure how his words are making me feel. I’m happy I give him peace but I shouldn’t feel that way. I should want him to swim in despair.
“So, thank you.” He pulls me closer and I have to crane my neck back to keep looking at him.
“Why don’t we put the rifle away for a while, since you don’t need her right now?” I ask and I’m aware of what I’m asking, but if maybe I could save a life when I couldn’t save my own, then my bravery for this moment would count towards something.
He’s staring at me. “If I did that, what would you do for me?”
I had thought me giving him peace was a tradeoff already. “What do you want?”
His answer is quick. “Stop trying to kill me.”
I’d laugh at the madness of this, but for now, I try to stay in this moment. He will put down his gun if I agree. I will try to escape—but for now—I think I would struggle killing him anyway.
“Okay, I won’t try to kill you if you put away your rifle.”
His lips touch mine and I’m still not used to this kind of contact. It’s so gentle that I want to run from it. “We have a deal, Scarlett.”
“We have a deal, Dean.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
DEAN
I like the sound of her laughter. I haven’t touched Scarlett in a few days; she seems to move around me more freely, and I can’t get enough of it. I want her so bad but I don’t want to erase the smile from her face. She’s funny, that wasn’t something I had expected.
I enter the bedroom to find it empty. Her bed is made up on the floor and I hate that. I want her in my bed, but she asked me for this, and in return, she said she would consider writing a song about me. So I agreed.
The silver chain feels heavy in my hands. As I push open the bathroom door, she’s wrapped in a white towel, and when she looks at me, all I want to do is touch her.
She tightens her hold around the towel but relaxes slightly when I don’t enter. I look away from her but stay on the threshold.
“I thought you were dressed,” I say, peeking at her.
She’s still watching me. She looks tiny in the white towel. “I was just about to. Is there something you wanted?”
Her question carries a note of teasing and I face her, leaning my shoulder against the doorframe. Her gaze roams over my bare arms and I grin at her. “I want to give you something.”
Her gaze returns to mine and I see her frown. She does that when she’s uncertain about what she’s feeling.
I step into the bathroom and watch the pulse in her neck grow faster. “Turn around.”
She does without question. She turns away from me and I reach out and scoop up her wet hair, before letting the pendant dangle down in front of her. She doesn’t move as I let her hair go and fasten her father’s pendant around her neck. My hands slide to her shoulders and the feel of her skin under my hands has me closing my eyes. I should have never taken it from her.
She swallows and I feel her shoulders shake under my touch. I don’t release her. I caused that pain in her, and now I’ll stand here and let it leak onto me.
She turns, forcing my hands off her shoulders. Her ocean eyes rage with pain and I fucking hate it.
“Thank you.” Her lip trembles as she speaks. “Can I have a moment?”
I hate that she wants me to leave. I want her to seek comfort in me, but she doesn’t. I nod and leave her alone.
I focus on making her favorite sandwich for her. I take my time cutting the banana and coat it with sugar. She arrives into the kitchen and she keeps touching her neck. I can see the silver chain under her top. Her eyes are rimmed red and when she looks at me she wears that haunted look again but it’s not as bad as it used to be, so I am taking it as a win.
I place the plate beside the notepad and pen that she gazes at now.
“I want something in exchange,” I say, and her face grows tight.
She’s so strong. She nods. “What do you want?” It’s like she didn’t expect it for nothing and I hate that too. She sits down and opens the sandwich. Heat colors her cheeks before she looks up at me.
“I want you to write down your full name.”
“Why?” Fear makes her words shake.
I push the notepad towards her. “Please.”
She grabs the pen in her left hand and writes her full name. Scarlett Cadwell.
She slides the notepad back to me and I stop her.
“I want the last address of where you lived with your auntie.”
She frowns and pulls the notepad back towards herself. “I want something in exchange.”
I hide a grin. “Name it.”
“I want to swim in the rain.”
“Scarlett.” I dip my head forward. What she is asking for isn’t possible.
She pushes the notepad with her full name scrawled across it towards me. “Then no address.”
I fight yet another grin. “Okay.”
The sandwich stops at her lips and she tilts her head. “Don’t lie to me.” Her voice is small.
“I’ve never lied to you.” I say back.
She’s staring at me and I don’t mind. I like her attention. She grabs the pen and starts to write her address. I try not to snatch it up when she slides it to me.
“I hope you aren’t lying to me.” I tap the page.
She shrugs and takes a bite of her sandwich. “Maybe I am.”
I grin this time, loving her playful tone.
I need to get another vehicle if I am to take her swimming in the rain. I also need to find out when the next downpour will be.
“You don’t make it easy on me.” I’m still smiling and she touches her top, I know under it lies her pendant.
“You never made it easy on me.” She’s half smiling—half breaking and it kills me.
I wait a few beats before asking my question. I want her to enjoy her sandwich. She doesn’t mind me sitting beside her anymore and just watching her. I think she’s gotten used to me. “Why do you want to swim in the rain?”
She smiles and licks sugar off her small fingers. Fingers that I know feel good around my cock. I try to keep my mind focused.
“It’s hard to explain. I think it would be a moment of seeing mother nature at her finest. You know, to stand in the waves fully clothed, while the rain pelted you. I’ve often dreamt of it.”
“Why have you never done it?” The beach is an hour away. It wouldn’t have taken much to get there.
“I always said when I had my own place I would, because if I did it before then, what would I have to dream about?” She looks so fucking sad.
“You consider here your own place?” Something in me swells.
She laughs. “No.” Her word hangs on laughter that sounds like I’m ridiculous for saying such a thing. “I just might never get to have my own place, so I need to stop waiting.”
I’m up and ready to walk away from her because I can’t stop the heaviness that’s settled on my chest. This is happening to me lately, and I am starting to think something is wrong with my heart. I could be on the verge of having a heart attack. The thought of what would happen to Scarlett if I died, has me tightening my fists.
“Dean.” Her voice is so fucking soft behind me.
“7610.” I recite the code.
She doesn’t ask me what it’s for. There is a beat before I turn around and look into her wide ocean eyes.
“There is a safe in the gun room. The combination 7610. Inside is a phone. The code for the door is saved on it, under the contact, named door.”
Her chest rises and falls rapidly and a shaky laugh leaves her mouth. “I thought it was the code for the door.”
I can’t smile back at her, because I feel like such a fucking monster. Right now, it’s the best I can offer her. “Come on.”
I leave the living space and enter the gun room. Walking to the wall, I move the picture aside so she can see the safe. I step back and let her look.
“I’ll keep the door locked for now.” I hate doing it, but obviously she’ll try to run the moment I’m asleep.
“Any chance of telling me where you will store the key?” Her voice carries laughter and I move the picture back, cutting off the safe.
“It’s not funny, Scarlett. If I died, you don’t want to get stuck down here.”
She chews her lip. “Are you sick?”
“No. Maybe.” I wasn’t sure. Scarlett takes a step towards me, her small hand wraps around my bare arm and I love the feel of it on my skin.
“Dean, what’s wrong?” her concern has me contemplating telling her the truth.
“I’m not sure.”
She frowns and steps even closer to me. “You have to tell me. I’m your responsibility.”
I grind my teeth. “I know that, that’s why I’m telling you all this.”
Her cheeks heat and she doesn’t speak.
“I get a tightness in my chest. I think it’s a sign of a heart attack.”
Her laughter has me regretting telling her. “I’m sorry. But... I mean that’s not a sign of a heart attack. It could be stress.”
She lets me go and I fold my arms across my chest. “I didn’t realize you were a doctor.”
She grows serious. “Fair enough. The next time it happens, I want you to think about what just happened before your chest grew tight.”
I think back to the episode that was only a few moments ago and think about her saying she would never own her own place.
I reach for her and press my lips against hers, not wanting to think. I just want to feel her. She reaches up and grips my shoulders, and it’s all I need for my cock to grow hard.
Just like that, her touch silences all the noise in my head and she consumes me. The coconut body wash will be forever the smell I associate with Scarlett. I lift her up and she moves easily wrapping her legs around my waist. She’s light to carry from the room and I open my eyes to see where I am going, but don’t break the hungry kiss. She wants this as much as I do, and that makes me devour her lips even more.
When we land on the bed, she opens her eyes, and she looks dazed as she takes in her surroundings, like she can’t fathom how she got here. Her gaze snaps to me as I drag her top up, I pause, allowing her a moment to stop me. I’m praying she doesn’t. I’m not sure how much restraint I have left. She doesn’t stop me and I remove the top along with her bra, letting her breasts free. She hisses as I take each one in my mouth. The nipple grows hard and my cock throbs for release. I let her nipples go and pull off her trousers and panties. Her small fingers work quickly on my trousers. For me it’s not quick enough and I
remove everything. She has a brief moment to take me in but I can’t stop the want that has me pinning her arms down and positioning myself in between her legs. My cock rests at her opening and the ache in me burns.
“Wait.” Scarlett’s breathy word has me holding, it’s like holding back an ocean. I need to go away now, but her arms are wrapped around my neck.
“Go slowly.”
She’s fucking serious. She has to see the strain on my face. I nod and inch in painfully slowly. Her eyes widen with each inch I take and I want to slow it down even further to keep seeing the pure amazement on her face. I remind myself that I’m causing that. When I’m fully in, I drag my cock slowly back out and she clings to me, her gaze bores into mine and my own excitement turns to something I don’t understand. It courses through my body and it’s fragile, like if I look away from her ocean eyes, I will lose this connection with Scarlett. She throws her head back as I go slightly faster.
“Don’t look away,” I say and her gaze diverts back to me. It’s in her eyes, a wonder, but something so much deeper. I’m moving faster and her eyes grow bigger and more glazed over, slowing down has them burning with ecstasy. I realize that I could do this for a while, just to watch her. It’s fascinating, so I do. I continue to enter her slowly.
“Go faster,” she pleads, and I do. I speed up and the ecstasy grows on her face, she’s so wet around my cock and when her nails sink into my shoulder, I know she’s close to cumming. I allow myself to let go and pound into her, my own release isn’t far away and when she cums while looking into my eyes, I empty myself. I feel it leave me and enter her and I can’t stop looking at her as I pump the last few times.
I slow down and stop and I want to ask her what was that? I wasn’t sure I wanted to do that again. It left me feeling exposed. I pull out of her and Scarlett doesn’t move as I lie beside her before dragging her body into mine. My chin rests on her head, her back rises and falls as she continues to catch her breath.
“I got around to writing you that song.”