“Well, you know your father and I are always on your side, right? He might throw a fit about things, but he just wants what’s best for you.”
“Has he ever stopped to think that maybe I know what’s best for me? Maybe even better than he does?”
“He knows you’re a smart girl,” Mom said. “If you’re happy, he’ll be happy…in the end.”
The question remained, though…what would it take to get him there, in the end, as she’d put it?
THE TEAM HEADED out for a four-game road trip following that game against the Blues, which meant no more kinky sexy times with Cody for a full week. Who knew a week could last so long? Gah. I didn’t know how I’d manage to go seven days without seeing Cody in the flesh.
The guys didn’t even get to go home following the game that night, so I wasn’t able to give him a going-away blow job or anything, because before I knew what was happening, he was already on the team plane. Too bad. I really wanted to blow his mind the way he’d blown mine before we had to spend so much time apart.
That also meant I didn’t have the opportunity to warn him that my father might suspect something was going on between us before the team had gone. I only hoped that Dad wouldn’t try to do anything about it while they were on the road.
Any best-case scenarios I could come up with all included me being heavily involved in the big reveal, should it come to that. Someone had to stand between Dad and Cody, after all. I couldn’t bear the thought of Dad hurting Cody or vice versa, and I couldn’t help but think that was bound to happen once my father knew what we’d been doing. But with the team on the road, there wasn’t anything I could do to ease Cody’s pain if Dad decided to make a stink about things.
“You know we’re playing with fire,” Cody said to me over Facetime one night after a game they’d won against the Blue Jackets. “If your father doesn’t know something yet...”
Dad probably knew more than I’d given him credit for, now that everyone seemed to be giving me warnings about him. But I couldn’t be fussed about it. I had bigger fish to fry. “He’s not doing anything to you, is he? Giving you a hard time? Threatening you?”
“Not yet.” But there was no missing the wary tone of Cody’s voice.
I set my jaw. “Then it’s not anything to worry about. And even if he does decide to give you a hard time, I’ll put an end to it.” I couldn’t wipe the memories of how Dad had constantly issued threats toward Jamie, back before Jamie and Katie got married. There hadn’t been anything in his threats, though. My father was all bluster.
But Cody didn’t seem willing to believe me. “This will be between me and him, Dani.”
You’d think, since he had been around to witness everything that went down between Dad and Jamie back in the day, that Cody would know my father was all bark and no bite. But that didn’t seem to be the case.
And this wouldn’t stay between Dad and Cody if I had anything to say about it. He was my father, after all. And it was my love life he was attempting to insert himself in the middle of. Not acceptable if you asked me. Dad had no business being in the same conversation as my sex life.
But arguing with Cody over it wouldn’t do either of us any good, so I decided to change the subject. “Any updates on when Bea and Pops are going out? That was supposed to be a done deal.”
“Yeah,” Cody said evasively. “About that.”
Shit. “What? Tell me.”
“Pops has a girlfriend now. He’s out. But I can make it happen with Koz.”
“No. No chance.” That asswipe wasn’t getting anywhere near Bea.
“If you want me to hook her up with one of the guys, that’s who I can swing.”
I grumbled and groaned and threw a fit, but in the end, I couldn’t get Cody to budge on it. “Fine,” I bit off. “But we’re going with them so I can keep an eye on him.”
“We can’t go with them,” Cody argued. “If Koz knows we’re a thing, your father will be sure to find out. Maybe we should just give up on the idea. Don’t you know any other guys you could set her up with? Maybe some other teacher at her school or something?”
I absolutely was not on board with setting Bea up with Koz, and I didn’t know any of the teachers at her school, but we’d already been putting this off for too long. “Do it. But you let him know, in no uncertain terms, that I’ll rip his nuts off one at a time and feed them to RJ’s dogs if he isn’t a perfect gentleman around her. And it’ll be even worse for him if word gets back to my dad.” I might have to watch some Game of Thrones to get a few ideas about how I could torture the son of a bitch if he stepped one toe out of line.
“Duly noted,” Cody said. “Koz has to behave himself, or he’ll be singing soprano for the rest of his life. But those dogs wouldn’t hurt a fly, you know.”
“They’re big enough that just stepping on Koz could break his leg.”
Cody just laughed and shook his head at that.
We settled on next Saturday, and we promised each other that we’d make sure the other parties involved were on board and kept that evening free.
After that, we spent the rest of the call flirting, which was a hell of a lot more fun than thinking about touching Koz’s nuts, even if doing so would be for a good cause. By the time we hung up, I was feeling both horny and lonely…not a good combination. And I still wasn’t sold on the idea of setting up Bea with Blake Fucking Kozlow. He had to be the biggest ass on the face of the planet, and that just wasn’t going to cut it for me where Bea was concerned.
Instead of worrying myself over it, I decided to use the time the guys were away to finish up all the pieces I’d been creating for Bea. For once, I actually buckled down and focused hard on the work in front of me. Before this, I’d been so caught up in pseudo-stalking Cody that I hadn’t given Bea’s clothing the attention she deserved, but that was all going to change now. I was determined. In fact, the team’s absence lit a fire under my ass like I hadn’t felt in all the time I’d been working on my fashion line. Now was the time to make it happen. Tim Gunn’s voice kept sounding in my head, saying, “Make it work.” Damn if I didn’t intend to.
After her final fitting, during which she told me what I already knew—that the clothes were absolute perfection—the two of us headed out to hunt more Pokémon together.
“So, your date…” I said cautiously, huffing and puffing to keep up with her pace.
Bea turned to me and rolled her eyes. “You still haven’t given up on that, have you? I hoped you got too caught up in your redheaded hunk of man meat to worry about me and my love life.”
“No such luck, chica. I’m not letting you off the hook that easily.”
“You’re incorrigible.”
“And you love me for it. But now it’s a double date. Cody and I are coming with you.” I didn’t mention the fact that we were coming along so I could keep an eye on Koz. She didn’t need to know all the finer details. “We’re going out next Saturday. And you’re wearing the LBD with the corset. Got it?” My tone brooked no dissent.
Not that she paid any attention to my tone. I could practically hear her eye roll when she said, “What if I have plans already?”
“Grading papers doesn’t count.”
And good grief, this woman was a beast when it came to walking. I was huffing and puffing, but she just kept powering on, catching Pokémon without breaking stride.
“Fine,” she said, shooting a scowl in my direction. “But you’d better wear something you look hot in, too. I’m not willing to go out seriously overdressed with you in jeans and a T-shirt or something.”
I did an internal fist pump, because I’d freaking won, darn it. “No problem there,” I said. I had no qualms at all about slipping into something hot for Cody. In fact, the sexier, the better. I wanted to drive him crazy the whole night, because he wouldn’t be able to put his hands on me while we were out with Koz and Bea. He’d have to keep it in check for hours, which would only heighten the anticipation for later. And I intended to
drive him wild the whole time, tempting and teasing him mercilessly. That might just earn me another spanking, which I couldn’t help but crave.
Bea chuckled, but then she picked up the pace. “Come on. If I’m going to wear that dress on Saturday, I need to get more steps in.”
I tried to fill my lungs as much as possible while huffing and puffing to keep up with her. The woman was bound and determined to kill me through exercise.
I’d far prefer the sort of exercise I got with Cody, but that was going to have to wait. At least until the team came back to Portland.
A week had never felt so long before. I didn’t know how I’d survive it.
AT THIS POINT, I’d started getting nightly updates from my sisters…each of them more painful than the last. Shelby had managed to get a short-term leave of absence from the restaurant, so she was staying home with Dad fulltime. They’d decided it should be Shelby instead of Megan because Megan made more money, and there were fewer opportunities for her to have someone else fill in for her than Shelby had at the restaurant.
I hated everything about the situation, no matter which way they worked it out. I didn’t want either of my sisters to have to risk losing her job over this, but the two of them had a point: out of the three of us, I was the only one who absolutely could not afford to lose my job. The money I earned playing hockey was our only chance of swinging the expense of Dad’s care.
When I wasn’t busy with some team function or another or calling my sisters for updates on the situation with Dad, I spent much of my time thinking about Dani. It was a sickness, and I doubted there was any effective treatment for what ailed me other than finding ways of being with her more than we already were. It didn’t matter that I’d let things go much too far with her. Damn if I could conceive a way to end it now. I didn’t just crave her; I was quickly coming to need her. In fact, I was almost positive I was falling in love with her.
This was a new and strangely uncomfortable sensation. I couldn’t afford to fall in love with Dani Weber. Right now, I couldn’t afford to fall in love with anyone, but definitely not her. There was too much on the line.
The thing was, when I loved someone, I couldn’t half-ass it. I went all in, to the point where I would give up everything for them if needed. The situation with my father and sisters was enough to prove that much. It was one of the big reasons I’d avoided getting into any sort of significant relationships the whole time I’d been playing in the NHL. My habit of keeping to myself had allowed me to give my all to the team; the Storm had been my lover for all these years, and any other romantic attachments I’d made had been surface-level, at best. Most of them lasted no longer than a single night, just long enough to mutually scratch an itch.
I didn’t like where this was headed, because the only thing being involved with Dani did was put another kink (no pun intended) in the situation with my father. I didn’t have the time or energy to get involved with anyone right now, and especially not one of the coaches’ daughters.
This was a clusterfuck of epic proportions. And the worst part of it was that I couldn’t come up with a solution for getting out of it.
Being on the road with the team actually gave me a bit of breathing room. Every aspect of my day was lined out before me when we traveled. Meals, practices, naps, games, flights…everything was fully taken care of, meaning I didn’t have to think about anything or do any planning. At any point of the day, I knew exactly where I was supposed to be and what I was supposed to be doing, leaving no decisions to be made.
There was a freedom in not having to make decisions beyond whether I wanted eggs or yogurt, toast or oatmeal, chicken or steak. On the road, I could go about my day by simply settling into a routine that was as comfortable and familiar as my oldest, most worn-out T-shirt.
The team as a whole appeared to feel the same as I did about being on the road if our play during this trip was any indication. We beat the Sharks four to two before heading down to Los Angeles and Anaheim—both overtime wins. Our trip came to a culmination in Minnesota, where we beat the Wild soundly, five to one.
Things with my family weren’t going as well. Not that my sisters had told me as much. They seemed determined to keep me in the dark about how bad it was, but there was no masking the exhaustion and tone of defeat in Shelby’s voice each time we talked or the way Megan deftly avoided answering my questions by changing the subject.
That only deepened my resolve to come up with a solution for our problem. I spent every spare moment I had Googling anything and everything that came to mind. Not that it got me any closer to the answers we needed. I both loved and hated Canada’s free health care system. The fact that Dad couldn’t be denied care was a blessing, but the system was so overworked that he couldn’t get into a facility to receive the care he needed.
By the time the team plane landed at PDX, I was ready to bang my head against the window in frustration. Instead, I got in my car and drove home.
I’d barely been there for five minutes when a soft knock sounded at my door. I couldn’t delude myself into thinking it would be anyone but Dani; it was well after midnight, and no one else would dare to show up at my door at this hour. She’d probably been watching through the windows to see when Babs pulled up next door.
My head pounding, my eyes bleary from staying up until all hours of the night trying to research a solution, I opened the door to let her in. There was nothing I needed more than sleep—other than maybe to see her.
Her eyes had been alight with mischief when I first opened the door, but concern quickly creased her brow. “What’s wrong? You look like death.” She stepped inside the door, practically falling against me in her haste to get inside. “And not even the warmed-over sort of death, either,” she added, her soft, husky voice doing a number on me.
I drew her into my arms, and she rested her cheek against my chest. The solidness of her body and the heat of her arms wrapping around my waist combined to soothe my jangled nerves more than anything else could have done at a time like this.
I dropped my chin down to the top of her head and allowed her softness to envelop me. “I don’t want to talk about it.” The last thing I wanted to do was lay my worries on her plate. Much like my sisters, Dani was the epitome of everything good in my world, rolled up into an exuberant, bubbly, adventurous package. I didn’t want to do anything that might change her. I couldn’t bear the thought of bringing her down.
She let out a dissatisfied hmphing sort of sound, but she snuggled herself closer to my chest, her cheek resting against my ribs. Having her like this felt like a piece of heaven—a piece I didn’t deserve. A piece that would quickly sift through my fingers like sand, because with all of the problems in my family, I couldn’t afford to hold on to her.
“It felt like you were never coming home,” Dani said after a minute of us holding on to each other just inside my front door.
I chuckled. “Surely you’re used to it after all the years your dad’s been involved with the league.” Webs had played for something like two decades before becoming a coach, and he’d been one of the Storm’s coaches now for several years…so he’d been keeping this sort of schedule for Dani’s entire life and then some.
“I was okay with Dad being gone for however long. It’s different when it’s you.”
Lord knew I felt much the same way for the first time in my career. In all my years in the league, I’d never had someone anxiously awaiting my return. It was both torturous and addictive at once.
Still, I was glad she was here. Until she’d walked into my arms just now, I hadn’t realized how much I needed to touch her. Just to hold her. She brought so much peace into my life. She brought her fair share of insanity, too, but there was something soothing about having her in my arms that I couldn’t find in any other part of my life.
I’d barely allowed myself to begin to relax when my phone started dancing in my pocket, playing the dedicated ringtone I’d set up for Shelby. For her to be calling me this la
te at night… I didn’t want to speculate, but there wasn’t a chance in hell I wasn’t taking the call.
I separated myself from Dani, prying away her arms so I could get some space and holding up a finger toward her, begging for a moment. “Sorry,” I said. “I have to take this.” Then I headed for the kitchen for privacy, reaching into my pocket to extricate my phone even as I gave Dani an apologetic look. “What’s wrong?” I asked my sister as soon as I was in the other room. “What happened? Did he hurt you?”
“Why does there have to be something wrong?” Shelby asked, but her voice cracked on the words.
“I’m sorry. I just— With you calling so late, I assumed the worst.” It was a habit I needed to break. I always assumed that I had to be the one to fix things, because that was the role I’d given myself so many years ago. Maybe I needed to try harder to let go of it all, but I doubted that would happen anytime in the next few decades. “So, what’s up?” I dragged one of my stools away from the bar and took a seat, put my elbow on the counter, and rested my head in my hand.
“Well, your assumptions aren’t too far off the mark. Dad didn’t hurt me, but it wasn’t for lack of trying.”
I tried to swallow, but there was a huge lump in my throat, and nothing would go past it. This was exactly what I’d been afraid would happen. The situation had gone beyond what my sisters could handle. Dad needed to be in a home, with professionals who knew how to handle people like him.
“You’re okay?” I croaked out.
“Just shaken up.”
“You swear?”
“I wouldn’t lie to you. Megan and I actually had a fight over whether we should tell you or not. She wanted to keep it between us because she thought you’d flip out.”
“She’s not wrong. Kinda flipping out here.” In fact, I had to forcibly unclench my fist before I dug holes in the palm of my hand with my fingernails. Dani’s hands brushed over my back and shoulders, digging into my neck in what should have been a soothing move, but I flinched. Nothing could soothe me right now. No one could. My father could have seriously hurt my baby sister, and I’d been in another country, completely unable to do anything to stop him.
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