She ignored him, and he shook his head, smiling. She was far too easy to tease. Several peaceful minutes passed, where they listened to the birds, and he pointed out natural landmarks, a winding stream, a copse of trees sheltering a fox.
At last she asked, “Robert . . . do you think my tenants want to meet me? Am I making a mistake?”
He put his free hand on hers. “Not at all. This is a small estate, and you’ll all be living near one another. I believe it’s good for people to know they can come to you with questions. That’s one thing the army taught me, to take care of the men below me, to understand my responsibilities.”
“But I thought your father steeped you in your responsibilities whenever you weren’t in school?”
“But not the same way. I don’t think employees and tenants were real people to Father. They were chess pieces to be manipulated, like he was a god. One can make bad decisions when one doesn’t consider how the people themselves will be affected.”
And he’d been heading down that path, too. Investing had been a game to him, a new way to liven up what he thought was a boring life. Before he was even twenty-one, he’d been bored by gambling and much of Society, since he hadn’t been planning to marry right away. There were women, of course, but not the kind of women who cared about him, and wanted to be cared for in return.
“Ah, I think we’re approaching the first cottage,” he said, relieved to put the memories behind him.
“What does it look like?” she asked.
He could hear the trepidation in her voice. Cottagers often had terrible conditions in which to raise their children. But these were decent. “Thatched-roof, brick walls, and it looks as if they have at least three or four rooms inside.”
She let her breath out slowly. “Oh, that’s a relief.”
“I can see a little kitchen garden behind, flowers growing in front.”
“Even better.”
“There’s a goat tethered in the back.”
She laughed. “And I hear chickens in the yard.”
He jumped down, then reached up for her. She held on to the back of the bench, searching with her foot for the step down.
“Lean out to me. I’ll catch you.”
She frowned. “If you’ll just guide my foot—”
“You don’t trust me? Your own fiancé?”
She tilted her head toward the cottage, and he knew she was wondering who was observing them.
“There’s a little boy standing in the open doorway, thumb in his mouth. He’s watching us quite solemnly.”
She scrunched up her nose, and he laughed aloud.
With no warning, she leaned out from the curricle. He caught her waist in both hands, holding her suspended for an extra moment, so he could stare up at her face against the bright, cloud-dotted sky.
What was he doing?
Easing her down onto her feet, he resisted the urge to hold her close. She wasn’t his fiancée, much as they were pretending it for the world. She was a woman who’d been badly hurt—who never wanted to marry again. And he was a man who didn’t know what he wanted, didn’t know if he could ease back into his old life without easing back into old ways.
Keeping his voice low, Robert said, “A woman just came through the door, wiping her hands with a towel. She’s waiting near her son, hand on his shoulder, watching us as solemnly as he is.”
“We’ve probably frightened her. Take me to her, please. Don’t forget one of the baskets.”
She’d put several on the bench where a groom usually sat, a gift for each family, she’d explained: breads, tarts, jams, and meat pies from the kitchen at Rose Cottage. He’d seen Mrs. Sanford’s face when she’d been told what Audrey wanted—her expression had gone from pleasure to such a look of pain, he’d wanted to demand the truth of what was going on. But he’d bowed to Audrey’s wishes and kept his mouth shut.
Now he guided her through the little gate and past the late-blooming flowers, just as the woman stepped forward, putting her son behind her protectively. Robert didn’t tell Audrey that. “She’s straight ahead of us,” he murmured.
“Good morning,” Audrey said cheerfully, facing in the right direction. “Are you Mrs. Telford?”
“Aye, ma’am,” she said, her expression wary and resigned all at the same time. Her hands were reddened from hard work, and her dark hair was caught beneath a plain cap.
“I’m Mrs. Blake, the widow of Martin Blake, and now the owner of Rose Cottage. I wanted to introduce myself, since I’m now in residence for good. I’ve brought you a gift.”
She held the basket out before her. The little boy darted around his mother and came forward, eyes alight with interest, reaching for the basket. But of course, Audrey didn’t see him, and didn’t lower it to his level.
Mrs. Telford glanced sharply at Robert, the question in her eyes. He nodded, and a look of pity briefly overcame her wariness.
“I can’t reach it!” the boy cried.
Without a moment’s hesitation, Audrey lowered it to him, smiling when he pulled it from her hands. “What’s your name?”
“Billy.”
“It is a pleasure to meet you, Billy. Now show this to your mother,” she urged. “You’ll want to share with your whole family.”
“ ’Tis very kind of you, Mrs. Blake,” the other woman said.
“Your family’s hard work is in those breads, Mrs. Telford, and I wanted you to know how much I appreciate it. And please allow me to introduce the Earl of Knightsbridge, our distant neighbor.”
He bowed, but couldn’t miss the way Mrs. Telford’s expression turned to awe, and her shoulders, at first so straight with pride, now stooped forward as she tried to curtsy awkwardly. It reminded him too much of the way his father expected people to treat him—the way Robert had once assumed even his business partners should behave.
She pulled the little boy to her side so quickly, he dropped the basket, and a jar of jam rolled out. Robert went down on one knee to retrieve the jam and put it into the basket. Smiling, he handed it back to her and finally won a tentative, disbelieving smile in return.
“Is your husband at home?” Audrey asked, unaware that anything had happened.
“No, ma’am. He’s buying supplies in Hedgerley.”
“Then please tell him that anytime he has questions, he can always come to me. I know you’ve been dealing with Mr. Drayton, but I’m available, as well.”
Suddenly, the little boy’s voice piped up. “Mummy, the lady doesn’t look at us.”
Mrs. Telford shot a horrified glance at Robert, but it was Audrey who dropped to one knee this time, at the boy’s eye level.
“I can’t look at you because I’m blind, Billy.”
He gaped at her. “You can’t see at all?”
“No, not since I was seven years old.”
“I’m six.”
“You’re very smart for your age,” she answered.
Watching her, Billy stepped sideways, and although she certainly heard him, Audrey didn’t turn her head.
“I’m right here!” Billy called, as if delighted in a new game.
“Billy!” his mother scolded. “That is teasing the nice lady.”
Audrey straightened. “I don’t mind, Mrs. Telford. Children have questions. I’d rather they ask me than treat me like I’ll break.”
“Thank you, ma’am. And the treats look real good.”
“You’re welcome. I’ll give Mrs. Sanford your compliments. And please offer my regards to your husband.”
Mrs. Telford sank into a better curtsy this time.
“It was a pleasure to meet you,” Robert said.
She blushed and managed her first smile.
Once he’d helped Audrey back into the curricle, and they were on the road again, she grinned up at him.
“That went well, didn’t it?” she asked.
“It most certainly did. You won them over with your charm and sincerity.”
“She didn’t take my blindness too poo
rly, but what else would she have done with the Earl of Knightsbridge standing guard over me?”
“You inflate the effect of my presence.”
“I don’t think I do, but thank you. So can you see the next cottage yet?”
For the next couple hours, Robert had the privilege of watching Audrey introduce herself to her tenants. The families often greeted her with more enthusiasm than her servants had. He almost hated to be introduced because it spoiled the day for him, distracting attention away from Audrey. She didn’t seem to mind. Several tenants brought problems to her attention, a leaking roof, a dispute over boundary lines, a bachelor farmer about to take a wife and wanting to be placed on the list for a larger cottage. She listened gravely and promised she would consult Mr. Drayton and have the problems taken care of. And since she was used to memorizing the layout of so many rooms, Robert had no doubt her well-trained mind would not forget each problem.
“All of our baskets are gone,” she said, as they drove away from the last little cottage. “Should we go home now?”
“I can see the village just ahead.” He saw the uncertainty pass over her face. “Have you visited yet?”
“I have not. I was so busy unpacking, and then Molly became ill.”
“I think we should have our luncheon there. It’s been a long time since I’ve been ‘seen.’ ”
“That is important,” she said solemnly. “Your people would like to know of your return.”
“I think they already know. And they most likely know you’re my fiancée,” he added, still watching her.
She swallowed. “You don’t have to do this, Robert. We’re not really engaged, and even more people will eventually know I cried off.”
“Do you think I care about gossip?” he asked quietly. “I have been the subject of it before. Our engagement is for a good reason. First you’ll be known as my fiancée, and then you’ll be known as the woman who figured out I didn’t deserve her.”
Her smile gradually widened. “Well, if you put it that way . . .”
“Then you’re game?”
“I’m game. Shall we visit all the shops?”
“Every one of them.”
She gave a merry laugh, and it rang out behind them as he urged the horses onward. Because they drove a carriage without a coat of arms, no one took much notice of them at first, except as strangers. But after Robert reintroduced himself and his fiancée to the butcher and then the grocer, word must have spread out before them, and the bookstore owner was already outside his door waiting for them.
Audrey knew she was only along for the ride, but she vastly enjoyed it. Much as Robert was a kind man, she heard the confidence in his voice as he spoke to people, the understanding that he’d be respected, even obeyed. It was an unconscious thing among the nobility, she decided, a way of being raised that set them apart. She wanted to resent it, knowing she’d always had to obey the men in her life, but today that voice, that earl, was helping smooth her introduction to her new neighbors. Though she felt foolish being introduced as his future bride, there was a warmth of belonging she’d never felt before. She certainly didn’t trust it, of course, knowing she could only rely on herself. But for now, she’d take strength where she could get it. By the time the villagers heard she was no longer engaged, hopefully they would know her well enough to sympathize rather than pity.
The vicar introduced himself and promised that his wife would come to call soon. The milliner suggested ribbons to go with bonnets, and Robert bought her some.
At the White Horse Inn, he didn’t even try to suggest a private dining parlor, and she was glad. They introduced themselves to the innkeeper, and the dining parlor grew crowded with people who might not normally have a late luncheon. She could hear the chatter and the whispers, felt themselves the object of speculation—and she didn’t hate it. Perhaps people ought to be more aware that just because a woman was blind didn’t mean she couldn’t live a normal life.
After the innkeeper himself waited on them, Audrey sat back and teased Robert: “You must enjoy how easily people do what you want.”
He said nothing for a moment, and her smile died.
“Robert?”
“It is not always a thing I want,” he said, regret in his voice. “Not here. It was too easy to be swayed by it, to feel the power of my position. I thought the army beat that out of me, but apparently not enough.”
She leaned forward, “Oh, no, I did not mean it that way. You smoothed the way for my acceptance—that’s what I was talking about. Growing up as I did, my family helped to create my inner doubts. I felt confident in my own home, but that was it. And here, now, I need to emulate you, so don’t regret your belief in yourself.”
“I have confidence in you, Audrey. You’ll discover strengths in yourself you never knew existed. The army showed me that. Moving to a new village, a new home—they’re your own private battle to overcome.”
“A battle,” she mused. “So was this my first foray into enemy territory?”
“Or perhaps meeting and negotiating with possible allies.”
She laughed. A man approached the table to talk with Robert, and she listened politely, wondering what all these people saw. She knew what she felt when she was with him, his charm and confidence and humor. It was a dangerous combination, one that drew her more than she felt comfortable with.
She mustn’t start relying on him too much. He was taking Molly’s place temporarily—she had to remember that. But would she and Molly have been greeted so eagerly by all the villagers? No.
It was almost . . . fun to be the pretend-fiancée of an earl.
Chapter 12
By the time they returned to Rose Cottage late that afternoon, Audrey was anxious to see how Molly fared. Robert was waiting to help her from the carriage, and this time she didn’t think twice about leaning into his strong hands, resting her own on his wide shoulders. He swung her down before him, and her thighs and stomach brushed his. She gave a little gasp of shock, of embarrassment, but he didn’t let her go. Unless she pushed herself away, she couldn’t keep her breasts from brushing his chest.
“Robert,” she began, surprised to feel a shiver move through her.
“I’m your fiancé, remember,” he said in a low, rumbling voice. “We’ve just spent the day together in front of people, where I could look at you and not touch. How would I be expected to resist your delicate waist in my hands?”
“You are teasing me,” she whispered, biting her lip. “I have heard stories of men who try to seduce women.”
He let her go. “I don’t mean to tease you. I’m trying to help you. Bridegrooms are supposed to show desire for their fiancées.”
She nodded, but couldn’t speak, and their leave-taking was more strained than normal. Bridegrooms are supposed to show desire for their fiancées, she thought. But her first groom had misled her—every experience she’d had with a man had been false. And she’d gone along with Robert’s false engagement.
So why couldn’t she stay distant and unemotional?
Sighing, she went up to Molly’s room in the attics and found her dozing, Francis watching over her. He excused himself, his voice humble, and left the room.
Audrey was considering him when she heard Molly murmur in a hoarse voice, “He’s a nice young man. He doesn’t say much to me, but he has a comforting way about him.”
Audrey sat down on the edge of the bed, knowing her smile must be foolishly wide. “You sound better.”
“Then tell that to the rest of my body, for I feel like I’ve taken a beating. It’s a good thing you can’t see me.”
“Why? Have you been studying yourself in a mirror already?”
“No, but I saw Francis wince.”
Audrey chuckled, then couldn’t resist touching Molly’s forehead. “Hmm. I think you’re still a bit warm.”
“The doctor visited today, and he said that was normal, that it’ll be days before I’m up and about. Days! I told him I’d prove him wrong.”
“No, you won’t. I’ll see that you stay right here.”
“You won’t ‘see’ anything.”
“Oh, yes, I will. I have spies, you know.”
“I think only one spy. You have him quite dazzled, I believe.”
Audrey stiffened. “Francis?” she said, knowing that wasn’t whom she meant.
Molly gave a tired laugh. “Now don’t you go fooling yourself. I was trying to sit up just now and saw you two out the window.”
Audrey, hesitated, hating to lie, but feeling trapped. “Robert is . . . flattering.”
“Why do you seem unhappy about that?”
She decided to give a measure of truth. “I have only been under the control of other people. Before I marry, I need to be on my own for a bit.”
“It seems he’s letting you. He brought you here to live alone, didn’t he? Or is he pressing for a wedding date?”
“No. Sometimes I think the pressure is all from myself.” Audrey found herself straightening Molly’s blanket, and then urging her to take another sip of water. “Are you hungry?”
“Francis said he’d have Evelyn bring me broth. Feels like that’s all I’ve had for days.”
“It is.” Audrey took her hand, felt the delicate bones. “You’re wasting away. I’ll see if Mrs. Sanford will prepare you something else.”
Molly yawned. “I think I’ll go back to sleep until then.”
“You do that, dear.”
Audrey slowly made her way down the servants’ stair to the kitchen. “Mrs. Sanford?”
“Aye, ma’am?”
She could hear the woman rolling something out on the big wooden table that took up the center of the kitchen. She gave her Molly’s request, and the woman snorted.
“I’ve nursed many a sick child, Mrs. Blake,” the housekeeper said, “and they all want more than’s good for them.”
Audrey thought about the child she’d never had the chance to nurse, and then let it go. Mrs. Sanford couldn’t know the unwelcome memories she stirred.
“Is there a stool I may sit upon?” Audrey asked, thinking that the woman might relax more in her own domain.
“Of course, ma’am.”
Gayle Callen - [Brides of Redemption 02] Page 12