by Lois Richer
“But if something happens, I want to be here.”
“Jayne.” He shook his head. “Have some faith.”
The atmosphere stifled her. She needed fresh air to breathe, but—
“Come on. We’ll tell the nurses where we’re headed.”
She capitulated because she needed to get out of there, needed to walk off some of her pent-up energy. Ben kept hold of her hand as they followed the pathways between stunning beds of flowers blooming brightly in the warm sun. Emma would love—
“‘I am like a sheltered olive tree protected by the Lord Himself. I trust in the mercy of the Lord forever and ever,’” Ben said in a voice meant for her ears alone. “‘God is my helper. He is a friend of mine.’”
On and on, Ben’s continual recitations of the Psalms flowed like a warm healing salve over her spirit. And as they walked, the words began to soak into her soul until Jayne was able to repeat the words with him.
“Better now?” he asked when they paused in front of the main hospital doors.
“Yes. Much. Thank you.” She studied the firm strength in his face, the honest clarity of his eyes. “I mean it. Thank you so much.”
“You just needed a reminder of God’s goodness. It’s easy to let ourselves get ground down by fear and worry, but that’s exactly when we need to trust in God’s goodness.” He squeezed her fingers tightly then let them go. “King David said it best. ‘This one thing I know; God is for me.’ You can’t let go of that promise, Jayne. You can’t let yourself begin to doubt His goodness or you’ll find that doubt takes over your mind.”
“I’ll try,” she promised as they rode the elevator.
But by the time Emma’s doctor appeared, Jayne’s confidence was wobbling.
“Emma’s come through the surgery very well. She’s in recovery now. She’ll be back in her room in a little while. You can see her for a few moments, but then she must rest.”
Jayne thanked him, made a quick call to give Sidney the good news, then grabbed Ben’s hand and led him to Emma’s room. When she realized what she’d done, she flushed hotly and dropped his hand. Ben laughed as he hugged her for a few precious seconds.
“I told you that you could trust God,” he said.
“Yes, you did.” Again the questions about his past life, how he’d become the man he was, flooded her mind. He’d probably bow out of their lives after this. When would she get a better opportunity to learn more about him? “How did you come to have such strong faith, Ben?” she asked.
“I had a teacher in high school. Mr. Gabriel.” Ben’s big brown eyes softened like chocolate melting in the desert. “He taught me my love of literature and he lived showing God’s love. He’s gone now but his lessons have never left me.”
“I wish I’d had someone like him in high school. How many years did he teach you?”
“Three. Listen, can I get you a drink or something to eat? You must be starving. It’s well past lunchtime.”
“No, thanks.” She wanted to know more. “What happened during summer? You didn’t have to stay at the boarding school, did you?”
“No. I usually went to summer camp.” He rattled the change in his pocket. “Are you sure you can’t eat—”
“Not till Granny Em comes back.” She pushed on, curiosity roused. “Summer camp’s expensive, isn’t it? Some of the kids in our school used to go, some of the richest ones. Their parents were usually in Europe or something.”
“Oh.”
Frustrated by his lack of response, Jayne kept probing. “Did you like camp?”
“I liked the swimming.”
“Was it at a lake?” Why did she feel as though she was pulling hen’s teeth to get him to talk?
“Sometimes. Other years it was just a camp.”
“In Canada, I suppose?” Jayne watched his face close up and knew she’d pushed too hard.
“Umm,” was all he said. Relief flooded his eyes as a commotion in the hall announced Emma’s arrival.
The nurses wheeled her in and made her comfortable. They said the doctor had approved a ten-minute visit, but no longer.
Jayne stared at the washed-out face and the myriad of tubes running from her grandmother’s tiny body. For a second, doubts assailed her. Why didn’t God—
“Remember, Jayne. God is here for her.”
“Yes.” Jayne kissed Emma’s cheek, enfolded the tiny hand in her own and felt Emma’s pulse beating sure and strong. Her grandmother’s eyelids fluttered open for a minute and she smiled then drifted off to sleep. “I’ll be back later, Granny,” she promised. “I love you.”
Then with the nurse watching, Jayne left the room, suddenly weary beyond words.
“Let’s have lunch now. Then you need to go home and rest.”
“Rest?” She stepped into his vehicle and bumped her arm against the door, which made her glad she didn’t have to drive. “I have work to do.”
“Not today, Jayne.” He climbed in on his own side and started the engine. “You were up this morning at five, I’m guessing. And you probably didn’t sleep much last night. You need to take care of yourself so you’re strong and ready to help Emma when she comes home. So lunch, then rest, right?”
“I guess you’re the boss. For now,” she warned, trying to infuse some spunk into her voice.
Ben took her to a lovely place where the fragrance of fresh-baked bread filled the room. After a delicious meal he insisted they share a slice of strawberry pie.
“It’s very fresh.”
Jayne tasted and agreed. “Do you eat here a lot?”
“Not a lot. But some. My cooking repertoire extends to what I cooked for you and Emma, baked beans and a take-out menu,” he admitted. “I do make a mean piece of toast, though.”
“Funny, I thought a guy on his own would have learned to fend for himself,” she murmured, sipping the last of her iced tea.
For a moment he just stared at her. Long seconds passed, making Jayne think she’d said something wrong. Finally he laughed, but it was forced and unnatural.
“I do fend,” he said jauntily. “Toast with peanut butter. Toast with jam. Toast by itself.”
“A veritable chef,” she agreed. She couldn’t ignore his odd manner but it went out of her mind when he drove up in front of her building and walked her to the door.
“Lie down for a while, okay? Today’s been tough on you.” He brushed her cheek with his knuckles. “But don’t forget what I said. God cares. He is good.”
“I’ll try.” She couldn’t possibly tell him how much his presence with her had meant. “I suppose you’ve lost a lot of time working today,” she began and stopped when her neighbor Barney appeared and stared at Ben.
“Hey, aren’t you—”
“No, I’m not. Sorry.” Ben ignored Barney’s blink of surprise. “Bye.” He smiled at Jayne once more then walked away.
“Do you know that guy, Jayne?”
“Of course. His name is Ben Cummings. He’s a friend of Emma’s and mine.”
“Oh. I thought he was someone else.” All the way up in the elevator Barney peppered her with questions about Emma. “You tell me when she’s home,” he said as they walked to their doors. “I’ll bring her some of my chicken soup.”
“I’ll do that,” Jayne promised. Inside the apartment, the rooms seemed empty without Emma. “But she’s coming home,” she told herself. “That’s the main thing.”
As she lay on the chaise on the balcony, waiting for sleep to claim her, Jayne suddenly remembered the odd encounter earlier and wondered who Barney had thought Ben was. She’d have to ask him sometime.
“Yes, Pastor, Ben did tell us about plans for the Easter-morning service. I’d be pleased to be on the planning committee.” Jayne snuggled the shop’s portable telephone between her ear and her shoulder as she fiddled with a floral order marked urgent. “By the way, thank you for visiting Emma. I know she enjoyed it.”
“I’m delighted she’s doing so well. You’re both an important part o
f our congregation. And we always appreciate the work you do to make our Easter services so special.”
“We’ll be happy to help with whatever you need.” Jayne promised to attend the first planning meeting. After he’d hung up, she needed lunch. “I’ll just grab a sandwich and come back. Maybe then I can get caught up on these convention flowers.”
“I don’t think so,” Sidney said, a big grin lighting her face.
“What—?” Jayne twisted, saw Ben coming through the door. “Oh.” She blushed for no reason at all.
“Hello there, beautiful ladies. Gorgeous day, isn’t it?”
Certain he hadn’t shown up to discuss the weather, Jayne glanced at Sidney for an answer, but Sidney was staring at Ben with something like hero worship.
“I was wondering if you’d like to share a picnic lunch with me, Jayne.” He held up a wicker basket. “We could eat in the square across the street. The grass looks comfy.”
“Um, I was going to grab something.”
“Now you don’t have to. Come on,” he wheedled in that soft tone that made Jayne’s heart go bump. His brown eyes twinkled. “It’ll be fun.”
Lunch with a handsome man? She wasn’t going to say no.
Five minutes later Jayne was seated on a little red rag rug, staring at a picnic cloth loaded with delicious food.
“What’s in there?” she asked, staring at a small knapsack he kept tucked behind him.
“We’re going to talk about that,” Ben told her. “After we eat.” He gave thanks then dished out a plate for her. Neither of them had much to say as they enjoyed the meal.
“That was a lovely treat,” Jayne told him when she’d eaten enough. “Thank you for such a lovely lunch.”
“I had an ulterior motive.” Ben took her dishes and stored them and the leftovers inside the basket. When everything was put away, he pulled forward the pack and drew out some papers.
“Those are my designs,” Jayne sputtered. She looked from the papers to him, waiting for his explanation.
“Please don’t be angry,” he began. “But I knew those designs you showed me the other day weren’t your first idea.”
“You did?” She frowned.
“Yes. You got cold feet, didn’t you? You thought I’d be upset if you showed me these, so you went back to the tried-and-true things that most people want in their landscapes.”
“So you got Sidney to dig these out behind my back?” That peculiar smile on her employee’s face suddenly made sense.
“I begged her,” he admitted. “She’s very loyal to you, Jayne, and she wants you to succeed. I think she finally realized that you were only hurting yourself by not showing me these.”
“Hurting myself?” She couldn’t absorb it. Ben was supposed to be her friend. Yet he’d coerced Sidney, made Jayne look stupid and silly in front of her own employee. It was as if she was at her high school graduation, could still feel the press of that hand on her shoulder, the sensation of falling and the horrible, mortifying snickers as everyone laughed at her. Fury raged.
“How dare you, Ben? These,” she said, picking up the papers, “are not your property. They’re mine. You could have asked to see them. You could have talked to me.”
“I didn’t think you’d show me,” he said, studying her. “You were so upset after your presentation. Would you have taken the risk and shown me your ideas a second time?” His eyes bored into her.
“That’s not the point.” Bitterness welled up. “You said we were friends. Friends don’t do this to each other.”
“Friends don’t try to help and encourage each other to strive for their best?” He shook his head. “What kind of friends do you have?”
“The kind who don’t try to trick me,” she snapped, her pride still smarting. “I’ve had the kind of friend I couldn’t trust, Ben. I don’t want to go there again.”
“If you’d just listen—”
“Why? How can I believe anything you say anymore?” She let out the pent-up frustration building inside her. “I don’t really know you, Ben. And obviously you don’t want me to know you.”
“What?” His eyes widened. “Where did that come from?”
“From you, from the way you dance around every personal question you’re asked. What are you hiding?” She’d finally said the words that had chased round her head ever since she’d met him. Jayne shoved her glasses up on her nose, wishing she didn’t need the tiresome lenses to read his expression.
Right now she thought she saw fear lurking in those dark depths. But that was silly, wasn’t it? Ben was never afraid.
“It’s not about me.” He glared at her. “I’m simply trying to help you.”
“Why me?” Jayne quashed down her fears. It was better to know the truth. “Because you can’t get anyone else?”
“Can’t I?” His voice went deadly calm, his face became inscrutable. “I have four other landscaping bids, Jayne. They’re good bids. Not too pricey. Smart designs from experienced people. Any one of them could landscape my yard.”
“And you’ve chosen one of them, is that it? You want to tell me I lost the contract because my designs weren’t as good as theirs.” She shrugged, pretending it didn’t hurt. “Fine. Consider me told. Now I need to get back to work.” She jumped to her feet.
“I want to hire you, Jayne.”
“What?” She froze, wrinkling her nose so her glasses would move into place and give her a clearer view of his face. “Why, when you have four others?”
“Because none of them came up with this.” Ben rose, held out her sketch. “I watched you that day you came to my house. I saw some of the things you drew. Most of them weren’t included in your presentation. The fountain, for instance, or that cactus area with the odd stone formations and grasses. Or the little adobe walls and the fantastic area around the pool.”
She didn’t know what to say so she kept silent.
“I want you to create these plans in my yard, Jayne. As soon as possible, please.”
She frowned at him, anger waltzing with hope.
“You’re innovative and unique. You don’t do the expected, but everything I asked for is in these plans. That’s why I want to hire you.” Ben handed her the sheaf of designs then he slung the picnic basket over one arm.
“You need time to think it over, to make sure your estimates are right. I realize that.” He folded the rug and added it to his basket. “Let me know as soon as you can start. Oh, and here’s a deposit.” He pulled a check out of his pocket and handed it to her. “See you,” he said, then he loped across the grass.
“See you. Uh, thanks.” Bemused and bewildered, Jayne stood in the sun, peering after him while her brain assimilated the information.
Her first landscaping project. She was going to get her dream!
She scrutinized the check. The amount was more than she’d asked for as a deposit.
God had answered her prayer, proof that she needed to have more faith in His love.
But as delight filled her soul, Jayne walked back to Rose’s Roses with a tiny thistle of doubt wiggling its way to her brain. Though she’d challenged him, Ben hadn’t told her anything new about himself. She knew no more about Ben Cummings than she had yesterday or last week.
Except that he had hired her for her first job as a landscaper and paid the deposit.
“It’s up to me now, isn’t it, God? With Your help I can do it.”
Was learning to trust again really as simple as this?
Chapter Six
“Why is it we need to take a trip into the Mojave Desert on what must be the hottest day of the year?”
“If you think this will be the hottest day of the year, I feel sorry for you. Come July, this will feel balmy,” Jayne scoffed. “And after the fuss you’ve created the past two weeks, pipe down and watch.”
Ben grumbled under his breath. A jaunt to the desert was fine. But why must they go in her van? Uncomfortable didn’t begin to describe the ride.
“Have you eve
r had the suspension in this thing checked?”
“The flowers have never complained.” She kept both hands on the steering wheel, facing forward, her profile stern, as if she were leading a troop of soldiers.
“The bouquets probably die as soon as you deliver them.” She gave him a look meant to quash. Ben sighed. “I suppose you’re mad because I said that boulder is too small.”
Jayne said nothing, but her mouth pursed a little tighter.
“Is the air-conditioning working in here?”
Ben turned the vent to blow full force on his face. He almost laughed when Jayne puffed to lift her bangs off her perspiring forehead. She was just as hot as he. He frowned when she did that thing with her nose to move her glasses up.
“Why don’t you have the operation on your eyes?” he asked.
“Ben,” she warned in an icy tone, “today is not a good day to push me.”
“But—”
“You’re so free with advice for everyone else,” she snapped. ‘“Face your fears and apply for the loan, Jayne.’”
“Well, you have to admit that worked out,” he said, feeling smug.
“‘The rocks are too big, Jayne’” she continued in the same snappish tone. “‘The wall isn’t high enough, Jayne. The bushes aren’t close enough to the house, Jayne.’”
“I’m only trying to help.”
“Please, stop helping me. It’s very frustrating.” She changed lanes and once they gained the open road, she hit the gas pedal. “I’m doing my very best to create exactly what I promised, Ben. But over the past week you have questioned every single thing I’ve done in your yard. Even the men I’ve hired, patient as they are, are getting frustrated.”
“You’re saying I’m slowing things down?”
“Slowing? Puhleeze!” She let her gorgeous eyes do the talking, though Ben felt the awful lenses muted their scorn. “We’re getting nothing done. I’m away from the shop way too much because you won’t let the men follow my plans.”
“I want everything perfect.”
She snorted.
“Perfection doesn’t exist in this world. But I can promise amazing, if you’ll back off.”
“So we’re going into the desert because—”