“He’s not here.”
I balled my hands. “I’m going to kill him.”
“Maybe he thought the surgery was tomorrow. Or later,” Ryder suggested, as he cleaned a glass.
“Bullshit. I talked to him last night. He swore he’d be there.”
“Excuse me, Ryder,” a girl who was showing more skin than clothes said, in a sickeningly sweet voice, as she wandered behind the bar.
“Yeah, Candy?” he answered, and I scoffed at the coincidence.
Ryder turned his eyes back to me, and gave me an amused look. I rolled my eyes in response.
Candy crawled her fingers up Ryder’s chest, and a raging jealousy I didn’t know I possessed, reared its ugly head. I took a deep breath to quash the rage as Ryder wrapped his hand around her overly tanned fingers, and pulled them away.
“What are you doing, Candy?” Ryder asked.
“I just thought maybe you’d want to go in the back room.”
Was this girl for real? I understood to a degree the desire to be an old lady. Falling at the feet of the club members, and tending to their every need, in hopes they would choose you to be theirs. That’s all some girls had. But this bitch rubbed me the wrong way, and I was tempted to put my fist through her face.
“Listen, slut. We were talking,” I ground out. She turned her beady little eyes on me.
“And now you’re not, so you should leave,” she spat.
I laughed. “Why don’t you go and do what you do best? Shove a dick in your mouth, and shut the fuck up.”
Candy startled at my words, her overly bleached hair falling in her face. Her beady eyes shriveled to two tiny specks as she lunged at me. Ryder caught her before she could even get a hand on me.
“Rocco, get her out of here,” Ryder called over his shoulder.
A guy with a tattoo on his face, and an amused grin walked over, and swooped Candy into his arms. She laughed loudly, and then wrapped her arms around Rocco, and kissed him.
“Whore,” I mumbled under my breath.
“I think you need a drink,” Ryder offered, running a hand through his hair.
“No, I need to find my brother.”
“I’m just cleaning up from the night before. My shift doesn’t start for a few hours. I’ll go look for him. Go back to the hospital, and be with your mom. I’ll call you when I find him.”
“Thanks,” I said, leaning over the bar, and kissing his cheek, lingering a little too long before I pulled away. I headed for the exit and stopped, turning back to him.“Ryder?”
His eyes caught mine in one charged moment. “Yeah, Sawyer?”
I bit my lip before forcing the words out. “About the other day.”
“Forget it,” he said.
I smiled my appreciation, and left to head back to the hospital.
***
Two hours later, Mom was out of surgery, and resting comfortable in the recovery room. Her surgery went well, and I was there when she woke up. Cruz, on the other hand, was still M.I.A.
“Mija,” Mom sighed, as her eyes blinked open.
“I’m here. You did great. The doctor said everything went perfect.”
She could barely keep her eyes open. “That’s good to hear. Where’s my baby?”
My desire to hurt Cruz only grew, but I tapered it down, so as to not upset her right now. “He had to work. He tried to get away, but someone was sick. He’ll be here soon, I promise.”
“He’s such a good boy.” Mom smiled; blissfully unaware of the shit pile my brother was currently sinking in.
“Do you need anything?” I asked.
Her eyes drifted closed. “No, I’m tired. I’m just going to go back to sleep. You should go home.”
“Okay, Mom. Get some rest.”
I didn’t leave, however. I stayed for another five hours, watching her sleep; thankful I came back to Brooks Landing when I did. Finally, when I knew she was out for the night, I kissed her forehead, and went home.
I pulled into the driveway, and saw Ryder’s bike parked, with him sitting on the front steps.
“Any luck?” I asked as I got out of the car.
“Nope. Can’t find him anywhere. And he’s not answering my calls.”
I cursed under my breath. “Mine either. That little shit.”
“He’s just going through some stuff. He’ll be okay.” Ryder stood, joining me on the porch.
“I hope so.” I pulled out my keys. “Hey, thanks for looking for him. You want to come in? I’m about to heat up some leftovers.”
“You know how much I love leftovers,” he smiled, following me inside to the kitchen.
I set my bag down, and bent into the fridge, taking out a tray of ziti I made the night before. Ryder automatically went to the cabinets, and got down a couple plates, as if he belonged here. Once upon a time, he did. He spent so many days and nights here. My parents loved him. Cruz admired him. Sometimes, I thought my family even liked him more than me.
There was so much to like. He was polite, and honest to a fault. He’d take a bullet for me, or any of the people he loved. Once he gave his heart to you, you had it all. Despite the cut that he wore, he was a good person. He always did right by my family and me.
A pang of guilt washed through me. He did all that, and I wronged him in the worst possible way.
I scooped the food onto the plates, and tossed it in the microwave. Before I could turn around, Ryder’s chest pressed against my back. His presence was so strong; I knew he was behind me before I felt him.
He trailed a finger down the length of my jaw. The slightest of touches had me aching for more.
“Can we talk?” he asked, and I knew exactly what he wanted to hear. I just didn’t know if I was ready yet to have this discussion. “Please?” He turned me around, resting his hand on my face. “Talk to me.”
I took a deep breath, and looked into his eyes, knowing what I needed to do.
TWELVE
SAWYER
I pushed away from him, and rested both my hands on the counter. I was going to need space for this. “What do you want to know?”
“Why?” he asked. “I just want to know why? You weren’t just my girlfriend or my fiancé. You were my best friend, and you just fucking left. I would never have done that to you.”
Tears pricked my eyes, but I wouldn’t let them fall right now. I’d been through too much, and I wasn’t that lovesick little girl anymore. I was strong. Stronger than I ever thought I could be. I needed to prove that to him and to myself.
I darted my eyes away from his because, despite my strength, the hurt and longing in his gaze was enough to break me.
“I don’t know what you want me to say. I can’t change the past.”
“No, but you can tell me why you left. Because for the past five years, I’ve been wondering what the hell I did wrong.”
“I…It wasn’t you,” I stuttered out.
“Then, what was it?”
“My dad was just thrown in jail for life. The club didn’t protect him.”
“You know, if there was even a shred of a chance of getting him out of it, they would have.”
“It doesn’t matter. They didn’t, and I just couldn’t stay here…” My words trailed off, a bigger confession on the tip of my tongue, but it was clinging on for dear life, begging me to hold it in.
Ryder punched the wall, and rested his hands against it. “You could’ve at least said goodbye.”
“Don’t you get it? I couldn’t say goodbye.”
He pushed off the wall, and came toward me. “Why not? Don’t you think I was owed that much?”
I ran my hands through my hair, and when they fell back to my sides, I gave up on pretending that me leaving him didn’t rip my heart to shreds. “Because I knew if I saw you, I would have never left. I loved you too much. I thought time would change that.”
He stepped closer, and took my chin in his hand, urging me to look into his beautiful grey eyes. “Did it?”
I ha
d hoped it would. Prayed. Tried everything in my power to forget him, and move on with my life, but right now, staring into his familiar eyes, seeing through the man to the boy I fell in love with, it was obvious time didn’t change anything. “No.”
His hand wrapped around my neck, and he yanked me to his mouth. I reached up, grabbing his face, missing the feel and taste of him so much it hurt. He backed me up against the wall, and took hold of my hands, lacing his fingers through mine, and pinning them above my head.
His tongue swiped at the crease of my lips, begging to let him in. I parted my mouth, sliding my tongue to meet his. The slick, demanding dance shot heat to my core. Sparks ignited in my body, and sent waves of sweet, hot electricity coursing under my skin.
Ryder pulled his mouth from mine, and trailed it along my neck, sucking at the sensitive skin in the crook. A soft moan slipped from my lips as his kisses became more desperate.
“God, you still taste so fucking good,” he moaned against my ear, before tracing his tongue behind it.
I arched into him, and he pinned me down with his hips, his rock hard erection pressing against my center.
His fingers curled around the hem of my shirt, before pulling it up and over my head, and tossing it aside. He moved his mouth to the swell of my breast, licking, sucking, and torturing me with pleasure. I threw my head back, relishing in his relentless, mind-numbing assault on my body.
He pulled away, panting, as he rested his forehead on mine. “I want you so fucking bad.”
I slid his cut off his shoulders, and down his thick lean biceps, letting it fall to the floor. He ripped his shirt off in half a second, and my mouth parted at the sight of his ripped abs.
I wanted to run my tongue across those perfectly defined ridges, remembering the boy he once was, and discovering the man he is now.
He didn’t give me the chance, grabbing my ass, and hoisting me up. My legs wrapped around his torso, and he rested me on the kitchen table, crushing his lips to mine.
He broke our kiss, only to drag his lips down my body, stopping at the waistband of my jeans. With rushed precision, he unbuttoned and unzipped, peeling the restrictive material from my legs. He held my pants up, and then tossed them aside.
He stepped back, and undid his own pants, pushing them down to free his eager cock. I bit my lip as memories of how amazing he felt inside of me flooded my mind. I wanted him now. Needed him.
I lifted my finger, and beckoned him to come closer. But, stubborn as always, he ignored my request and stood back, stroking his cock, turning me on even more. Fine. If he wouldn’t come to me, then I would go to him. I sat up and began to slide off the table when he shook his finger back and forth.
“Don’t you dare,” he growled. “I want to look at you.”
His eyes roamed over me, and I could see him salivating at the thought of devouring the thing he wanted most. It was hot, intense, and made me so wet I practically dripped with anticipation.
I was wound tight, and incredibly frantic for release. I needed his touch. I needed his hands on me, but I knew he wouldn’t give it to me yet. I’d have to drive him crazy first until he couldn’t wait any longer.
I reached up, and unsnapped my bra, letting the cups fall away slowly. Ryder stroked his cock harder and faster at the sight of my bared breasts. I dragged my hands across my body, and closing my eyes, as my fingers made their way to my newly freed breasts. I pinched my nipple, rolling it between my thumb and forefinger. A moan fell from my mouth, and I slid my teeth over my bottom lip.
“God, baby, you’re killing me.”
I opened my eyes, and gave him a wicked grin, never stopping my hands. “Then come here.”
“But I’m enjoying the view.”
“Are you now?” I pulled at one nipple, pain mixing with pleasure.
He nodded, continuing to caress his big hard cock as he stared longingly.
“What about if I did this?” I trailed my hand down my stomach until I reached my panties, pulling them aside to reveal my slick folds.
He growled and I lifted my legs, running my hand from my calf to my thigh. I curled my thumb around the thin band, and trailed it over my hips and down to my feet. I unhooked the thin material from my toe, and let them fall to the floor.
I dragged my hand across my taut nipples, and back down my stomach, sliding down to my sex. My finger parted the flesh there, and circled my clit. My body arched at the intensity.
Ryder inhaled deeply, his pupils dilating at my actions. “Are you wet?”
“So wet,” I moaned, and slipped a finger into the wetness, plunging it in and out.
“Does it feel good?” he growled, stroking faster now.
“Yes, but it would feel better if...” Pleasure shot through me, and my body arched again, cutting off my words. One hand continued rolling my nipples, pinching the tight buds as the other moved to circle my clit, the wetness only pushing me higher.
“If what?”
Instead of words, I whimpered, too worked up to get even a syllable out.
Ryder moved toward me, his hand resting on my thigh. I pushed my body into his touch. Needing it, craving it.
“If what, baby? Tell me.”
I grabbed his hand, and urged it toward my dripping pussy. His finger grazed my folds, but he pulled away, denying us both the pleasure we sought. “I want you to tell me. What would feel better?”
“You.”
“I need more than that,” he teased, his fingers so close to where I craved
“Please, Ryder,” I begged. “I need your fingers in my pussy. Now.” As soon as the words tumbled from my lips he plunged two fingers inside of me, causing me to scream out.
“Is this what you wanted?” he murmured hot against my ear as he curled his fingers, sending me spiraling toward the edge.
“Yes!” I screamed as his fingers pumped in and out of me.
He bent down, and took one nipple into his mouth, sucking and nipping, making me latch onto his hair. Sweet, hot ecstasy flooded me, consuming every inch, every single ounce, and I held him closer.
“That’s right, baby. Hold on,” he urged, just as his fingers slipped out, and he plunged his hardness into me. My nails dug into his back as he slid his hands under me, and brought me up against his chest.
We moved together, a perfect rhythm, and completely in sync, as if we were becoming one. His forehead rested against mine, and he reached up, taking my face in his hands. He looked into my eyes, and it was like a portal to our past. Every emotion I locked away came pouring back into me.
His grip on my face tightened. His thrusts went from languid and erotic to brisk and carnal. I knew he felt it too. I held his gaze for as long as I could before my lips yearned for contact. I crushed my mouth to his, savoring every touch and every shiver. His tongue swiped lovingly at my crease and I parted, tangling us in a familiar dance.
A moan rumbled up my throat, and I threw my head back, letting the pleasure over take me. Devour me. Ryder dragged a line of ferocious kisses down my neck before tracing his tongue along my collarbone, completely consuming me in his delicious assault.
I was on the brink, teetering on the sharp edge. My clasp on Ryder’s shoulders tightened. He reached down, and massaged my swollen clit, pushing me over that edge. Moans poured from me, as Ryder rode out my orgasm, and succumbed to his own.
My body shuddered against his, and he held me close until we both came down from our sex-induced haze.
He pulled away, taking my face back in his hands, and pressing a chaste kiss to my lips.
“I think we just made up for five years,” I sighed.
He shook his head and smiled. “Not even close.”
THIRTEEN
SAWYER
Ryder and I moved to my bedroom, snuggling under the covers. I rested my head on his chest as he traced circles on my bare shoulder.
He pushed my hair off my forehead, stroking it lovingly. “I’ve missed you so much.”
All the emotions I’
d been trying to escape from flooded into me, and a tear slid down my cheek, landing on his skin.
“Hey. Look at me.”
I did as he asked, and he gave me a smile. The same smile he only ever used on me. I wondered how many girls had seen it since?
“Don’t cry.”
“I left you. I don’t even know how you can look at me right now.” I tried to turn away, but he held me steady.
“It’s easy. I know how it feels to lose you, and I never want to feel that again.” He leaned toward me, touching his lips to mine, next pulled back, and kissed my nose. “I don’t care about the past. All I care about is right now.”
I nodded. “I like that.”
His finger stroked my cheek, and I never wanted to leave this spot. For the first time in a very long time, I felt complete.
My cell rang, and I slumped against Ryder. “Of course.”
“Don’t answer it,” he whispered against my ear, slipping his hand under the cover, and pinching my nipple between his fingers.
I squealed then gave him a kiss on the lips before rolling over. “It might be the hospital,” I reminded him.
“Good point.”
I looked down at the screen, and Cruz’s name flashed. “Where the fuck have you been?” I yelled into the phone.
“Sawyer?” His voice was frantic, and I could hear the terror in his tone.
I sat straight up. “Cruz, what is it?” My hand shook, and my heart raced, knowing something was wrong.
Ryder sat up beside me, concern pulling at the corner of his eyes.
“Cruz, talk to me. What is it?”
“Sawyer,” Cruz whispered. “I need help.”
###
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Broken (Motorcycle Club Romance): Ryder and Sawyer 1 (Fallen Idols Motorcycle Club Book 3) Page 5