He’d done the unthinkable. He still had a gaping hole in his heart from losing his mother, and as soon as he left he’d rip open another one.
Chapter Nineteen
Jaime adjusted the long lace veil draped over Allison. Between the two layers of silk and the lace, it was impossible to know who was beneath the veil.
“Okay, you’re ready. I’m going to let them in now.” Jaime moved to leave, but Allison gripped her hand.
“Trent first. Promise me.”
With a grin, Jaime kissed her sister’s hand. She’d been like this since she woke up this morning, her mind set only on making sure Trent saw her before anyone else. “I promised.”
Leaving her sister in the upholstered chair, Jaime smiled at her mother as she moved to the double doors. She peeked into the crowded foyer, nodding at their youngest brother who was standing guard. From his pocket, he pulled a note card and cleared his throat.
“Our family would like to invite the groom to veil his bride for the final step in these preparations for the wedding today. We perform this ritual because of a lesson learned by our forefather Jacob, who did not unveil his bride until after the ceremony, and then learned he had not wed his intended. We invite you to witness this bedeckening, but ask that you remain in the foyer to give Allison and Trent their privacy at this special moment.”
Tears stung Jaime’s eyes as she pushed open the doors, wondering just when her brother had turned into a man. Probably the same time her baby sister had become old enough to get married.
With the doors open people crushed forward, but respectfully stayed outside the threshold of the room. Jaime stepped aside, her eyes welling up as Trent lifted the layers of silk with a trembling hand. She looked away so as not to cry, but her gaze snagged on Xavier, standing tall and proud at the entrance to the room. A vision flashed in her mind of a veil being lifted from her face and Xavier coming into view.
She blinked out the image, unwilling to feel sorry for herself on the happiest day of her sister’s life. Turning back to the room, she watched as Trent set aside the veils, pressed two fingers to his lips and then to Allison’s.
The guests were encouraged to take their seats and the rabbi reviewed the ceremony in a blur of words Jaime barely heard. Instead she fixated on how she was going to handle touching Xavier. They had to walk down the aisle to the chuppah together. Last night she’d worn long sleeves and hurried through the motions so as not to have to deal with her feelings. But today her emotions ran high, and her skin was bare thanks to the sleeveless gown.
“J’aime?” The dulcet tone of Xavier’s voice rolled through her. “You need this.”
She turned to see him standing before her holding a gold ring in his outstretched hand. For a split second she imagined he was presenting her with the ring, but then her mind kicked in and realized it was the gold band Allison would give to Trent. She took the ring carefully from his fingers, noting the inscription.
“I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine.” She nearly choked as her voice thickened with every word. How was it possible the world could be so cruel as to allow her to love someone, to belong to someone, and not have those feelings returned?
“It’s a lovely sentiment.” Xavier offered her his arm, nodding in the direction of the rabbi they were to follow. He took her hand, her skin tingling as he slid the ring onto her thumb. A smaller version caught the light and shone on his pinky.
When he kissed her hand she nearly swooned. Life should really not be allowed to be this tempting. With a shake of her head, Jaime collected the bouquets from a side table and moved to bring one to Allison.
As she slipped the lilies into her sister’s hand, she leaned close to her ear. “You deserve every moment of this. Enjoy it. I love you.”
“I love you too.” Allie’s arms around her neck warmed her. The hug from her mother that followed gave her the strength to return to Xavier. Today was about Allison and the perfect wedding.
Nothing else mattered.
…
Sheer torture. Xavier had never been so uncomfortable in all his life. It was as if his soul was trying to claw out of his skin to get to Jaime. Even having to step away from her once they reached the chuppah, draped with the same silk and lace Allison used for her veil, was painful.
Seeing Trent walk down the aisle with only his father twisted Xavier’s gut. Even as beautiful as all this was, he’d rather never marry than walk to the bridal canopy without his mother.
Allison and her parents followed. Once they reached the chuppah, the bride walked around her groom seven times, and then stepped forward to join hands with him. Then they reached out, the parents joining hands for an unbroken circle, the families forever joined.
He glanced to Jaime, noting the pained look on her face. He wondered if she was thinking of her sister, or of him? Wishful thinking on his part, yet as the ketubah was read and explained to the guests to be a binding contract for the marriage, he wondered just what he’d have to do for more time with her.
Every word the rabbi said seemed to resonate, sending his mind wandering to what it would be like to make these kinds of promises. Of course, Trent and Allison were grinning like fools, the perfect picture of matrimonial bliss. But then, they’d had two years to work out the kinks.
By the time the rings were exchanged and Trent had insured a long marriage by stomping a wine glass to bits, Xavier knew he had to make another proposition to Jaime. But for the life of him he didn’t know what that would be.
…
“Are you wearing a watch?” Jaime leaned back against the double doors, wishing she were anywhere but standing next to the one man she needed to avoid today. Tomorrow he’d wing his way home and it would be far easier to be lonely alone.
“I think they’ve earned their time.” He pushed up the sleeve of his tux, overhead lights glinting off his golden cufflinks. For goodness sakes, she even found the sparse hairs on his wrist sexy as he looked at his watch. “Five more minutes, in case they are doing something other than eating.”
“Allison hasn’t eaten since dinner last night, and that girl never misses a meal.” Jaime smoothed the soft silk of her gown, hoping her palms weren’t sweaty. “This is the most brilliant of all the Jewish wedding traditions.”
“You think?”
One scandalous glance from Xavier spun a million images in her mind of things they’d done, and more she’d dreamed of doing. Jaime braced herself with a hand against the door, taking a soothing breath before trying to act nonchalant.
“Yichud is inspired. How many weddings have you been to where the couple runs through the day without a single minute alone? Giving them a quiet moment after the ceremony to absorb everything? It’s brilliant.”
“It makes me think twice about agreeing to sign anyone’s ketubah though. I’d forgotten about this part, having to guard the door like a Victorian chaperone.”
“Better to be here than holding off the hungry in the reception hall.”
“True, and it does give us a moment to talk.” He gave her the smile of an accomplished seducer, tempting her with the mystery that lay in wait behind his emerald eyes.
The wood-paneled wall on the opposite side of the hall was a much safer choice than chancing falling for the charms embedded in Xavier Moreau. “We don’t have much to talk about. We’re going in different directions, towards different goals. If we were in the same place, physically and emotionally, maybe things would be different. But we’re not, and drawing out the inevitable doesn’t do anyone any good.”
“How many times did you practice that?” From the corner of her eye she caught his half-grin.
“It makes sense.”
“You’re not much of a gambler, are you, Jaime?”
“What does that have to do with anything?” She clenched her jaw as he took a sideways step, their bodies touching.
“We played poker last night. When you gamble you only have to beat the dealer, not the world.”
�
�Are you telling me I should settle for what you’re offering?”
“I’m suggesting that for once in your life you trust your instincts, act on your impulses, and stop analyzing your every move.” He tucked two fingers beneath her chin and tilted her face so she had to look up at him. “What do you really want, J’aime? Go after it.”
A tornado of temptation swirled in her soul, a sensual power pressing in all her dark places. It would be so easy to give in, wrap her arms around him and fly off to France. But it would be a fleeting happiness, followed by embarrassing depths of despair when he tired of the situation. Her sister already thought she sabotaged herself in relationships, and this was worse than ever because she knew better going in.
The doors swung open behind them. Jaime jumped back, not wanting anyone to notice the intimate position. Not that the happy couple could take their eyes off one another. Joy wafted from them, permeating even the air.
Jaime took in the moment and realized her mind had never been so clear, so certain of what she wanted for her future. She wanted that moment of complete happiness without any taint of doubt. It might not be easy to find, but from where she stood it looked more than worth any struggle.
Xavier went down the hall and opened the doors to the reception. Jaime leaned close to her sister. “Are you okay?”
“No,” Allison’s voice was like a song. “I’m wonderful.”
Jaime couldn’t help but smile as she followed behind the pair into the reception hall. The palpable excitement of the guests took her mind from her own troubles, letting her enjoy the way love and tradition flooded the room.
The music started up, the familiar melody moving people to the beat. She fell into the dance, moving in a circle with the swarm of people who had hoisted Allison and Trent into the air on separate chairs. To the sounds of Hava Nagila, joyfulness spurred the group into the traditional Hora, the newlyweds seeming to float magically above it all.
She gave herself up to the music, to the waves of emotions passed from person to person with the slightest touch. She danced until her feet grew numb and her mother finally dragged her from the dance floor to eat.
Her plate had barely touched the table before Bev and Barb commandeered the seats on either side of her, looking like they’d been on the wrong end of a fight with the accessories rack.
“We’ve been trying to talk to you since last night.” Bev’s nasal whine made Jaime tense. She quickly took a bite of the pistachio-crusted salmon with mango salsa her sister had been raving about since she set the menu for the reception in June. The heavenly swirl of flavor gave her strength to put up with what the hens were sure to say next.
“What’s the story with Casanova?” Barb leaned closer, but didn’t lower her voice. “Is he single?”
“Casanova was Italian. Xavier is French.” The fresh herbs in the wild rice pilaf really popped. No wonder Allison had been so excited about the food. Even the green beans were divine.
“Is it true he’s a millionaire?” Bev had the nerve to swipe a green bean.
“I don’t know.” With the way he handed out cars like most people handed out candy on Halloween, probably. But Xavier was more than his bank balance and she wasn’t going to reduce him for anyone.
“But he owns Marie-Chloe, right? A pair of their heels is four hundred dollars. I wonder if he’d send us some. Did you ask?”
Not once. Jaime took another bit of the salmon and pondered which way to go with this. Bev and Barb screamed tramp in a dozen languages so she doubted he’d take them up on anything they offered. Still, she didn’t care to watch. Carla hadn’t bought it when she made him gay. He needed a girlfriend.
“I doubt his fiancé would like that.” It took a healthy gulp of dry champagne to drown the niggling thought of why she wanted to keep him from the clutches of the cousins.
The girls slumped in their seats, but then Bev perked up. “But she was okay with him traveling with you?”
They were pushy, not stupid. “She designs the shoes.”
By the nods of their heads Jaime guessed they bought it. At least enough for her to distract them with the rundown of all she’d discovered during her turn at speed dating at the rehearsal dinner. Bev and Barb should benefit from the dozen pre-screened eligible bachelors.
Before she’d finished debriefing them, or finished her plate, Xavier laid a hand on her bare shoulder. Every cell in her body electrified and her body temperature rose. Jaime put a chill in her voice, though inside she was melting.
“Do you need something?” Much to her chagrin, Bev and Barb stared up at him like he was the messiah.
“It’s time.”
“For?” Looking into his green eyes, she had a fleeting thought that self-control and moderation were extremely overrated. Good thing the man was skipping town tomorrow.
“It’s their wedding, but we seem to be doing all the work.” He tilted his head towards where the band played. “The fathers are going to say something, then it is our turn.”
Right. Her maid-of-honor speech. Add that to the list of things she’d planned to do with all the free time she’d have before the wedding. When had Xavier had time to write his?
The music ended and Trent’s father appeared in front of the stage as the dance floor cleared. While he thanked everyone for coming, Xavier and Jaime made their way to him. Allison’s father took the microphone next, and to Jaime’s surprise put his arm around her as he started to speak.
“This is a hard day for a father, to watch your daughter leave your family to start her own.” He paused, clearing the tears from his voice. “We want to say thank you to Trent, for making this easier on us all. There is an old midrash, a Jewish tale, about how once God had spent seven days making the earth he needed to keep busy. And so, like so many Jews do when they’re bored, he took up matchmaking. He still matches up brides and grooms, making sure everyone finds the one who fills their soul. And so today I’d like everyone to raise their glass in celebration of some of God’s best work.”
The clamor of applause gave Jaime cover enough to let out a whimper of emotion. Her stepfather gave her shoulder a squeeze before he took his seat.
“I can’t believe I’m supposed to follow that.” Xavier’s charm permeated the crowd on a whispered laugh. “We’ve thanked the guests and we’ve thanked Trent, but as his best friend I can assure you, he’s getting the better end of this deal. This is Allison’s wedding, we were all just invited to it, including Trent.”
Jaime hoped the chuckles of the rest of the crowd concealed hers. Emotion ran high in the room and they all needed the mood lightened.
“Before I left, I asked my own father about marriage, about finding that one person who completes you. He told me it was mostly luck and a little bit of trusting what you feel. I didn’t understand what he meant until I came here.”
The blood slowed in her veins, wondering if he was saying he’d found something in her, or was he just painting a pretty picture for the guests?
“Allison, I always knew Trent would marry you, even before I met you at the airport in Paris. Before I met you, before he found you wandering on a college campus, I knew he would find someone who loved his enthusiasm and his charm, his loyalty and his compassion. Like your father said, you were made for one another, but more than that, you were made only for one another.” He lifted his glass high in the air, the guests mimicking his every move, even echoing when he said, “Mazel Tov.”
He handed Jaime the microphone and she took it with a shaky hand. No wonder everyone cried at weddings. The air was thick with happiness. It overcame even the most stoic.
As overwhelmed as she felt by the day and by her feelings for the man to her right, she knew her desire to have one of these moments for herself would be impossible to quench. She had to find someone willing to share more than an apartment and vacations with her. She needed a life, with or without Xavier Moreau.
Her eyes drifted over the crowd of mostly familiar faces, lighting on the happy coup
le. “You know, I always wanted an older brother. I never thought my baby sister would bring him to me, but we’re all glad she did.”
Jaime stepped forward, moving so all she could see were Allison and Trent. “Allison, even though you’re younger, I look up to you so much. I’m so proud of you for keeping your head, even when you lost your heart. When I think of what love looks like, this moment will forever be in my mind. But I am still your older sister, and so I think I can’t get out of offering you some advice.
“Always make the most of what you are given. When you take off your wedding ring to wash your face at night, remember how it felt the first time he slid it on your finger. When you reach for the flannel pajamas, remember how much thought you put into what you would wear tonight, and leave the flannel in the drawer.”
The laughter from the guests kept tears from her eyes. “And someday you’ll be able to hold your love for one another in your arms, and remember that love is the most precious gift of all.” She barely made it through the sentence before her throat closed.
Xavier slipped the microphone from her fingers, finishing the toast for her with the help of the crowd. “L’chayim!”
Chapter Twenty
“I’ll kill him, Xav. I swear I will!” His sister Natalie spit the words faster than driving rain. In his inebriated state, it took a second for his ear to get tuned back to French. “You need to get home as soon as possible or I can’t be held responsible for my actions. Murder is completely justifiable.”
“How are you doing?” Xavier deadpanned and cleared his throat, sinking into the sofa in his hotel suite. It hurt his head to do the mental arithmetic to figure out what time it was in Paris. Ten in the morning on a Monday, too early for anything he couldn’t fix by the end of the day as long as he got some sleep between now and then.
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