To Love Again

by Bertrice Small

  John Andronicus, the ivory carver, and Arcadius, the sculptor, arrived almost simultaneously. The former was a shy man, but sweet-natured. He greeted his host and hostess politely. The latter was his opposite, a bold fellow with a bolder eye. "Casia I recognize, so it must be this ethereal beauty you want me to immortalize, my lord." Arcadius stared hard at Cailin. "The body, I can see," he continued, mentally stripping her clothes away, "is obviously every bit as beautiful as the face. You will make my summer a joy, lady, for there is nothing I love better than sculpting a lovely woman."

  Aspar smiled, amused, as Cailin blushed again. "I thought her a perfect subject for your classical hands, Arcadius. She is Venus reborn," he said.

  "I shall certainly gain more pleasure from the work you have commissioned me to do, my lord, than all the saints I have been sculpting as of late," the sculptor admitted.

  Suddenly the crowd roared noisily, and the inhabitants of Aspar's box turned to see the emperor and his party entering their box. Leo had a severe yet serene face, but even in his elegant rich robes, one could not have called him distinguished or regal. It was Cailin's first glimpse of Byzantium's ruler, and she had to remember that Aspar had chosen this former member of his household staff for greatness because of his other qualities. The empress, however, was a different matter. She was a blazing star to her husband's calm moon. The rest of the royal party were made up of men and women among whom only Basilicus's face was familiar. The clergy in their black robes had already taken their place before the imperial party arrived, but Cailin had been too busy with her own guests to notice them before now.

  After a few minutes' time Aspar said to Cailin, "Watch!"

  Standing on a marble step placed at the front of his box, Emperor Leo raised a fold of his gold and purple robes and made the sign of the cross three times; facing first the center tier of seats, and then those to the right, and finally to the left, he blessed all those in the Hippodrome. Then reaching into his robes, he drew forth a white handkerchief which, Aspar whispered to Cailin, was called a mappa. Dropping the white silk square would signal the beginning of the games. The mappa fluttered from Leo's fingers.

  The stable doors of the Hippodrome wall were pulled open, and the first of the four chariots to race drove out onto the course. The audience exploded into cheers. The charioteers, each controlling four spirited horses, were dressed in short, sleeveless leather tunics, which were held firmly in place by crossed leather belts. Around their calves were leather puttees. All were physically well-formed, and many handsome. The women called out to them, waving the colored ribbons of their favorite teams, and the charioteers, laughing with exuberance, grinned and waved back.

  "Women should not be allowed at the games," the patriarch was heard to mutter darkly in his box. "It is immodest of them to be here."

  "Women attended the games in Rome," a young priest rashly said.

  "And look what has happened to Rome," the patriarch replied grimly, while around him the other clerics nodded and agreed.

  "Have either of you ever been to the races before?" Arcadius asked Cailin and Casia, and when they replied in the negative, he said, "Then I will explain all to you. In which order the chariots line up is chosen by lot the day before. Each driver must circle the course seven times. See the stand down by the spina where the prefect in the old-fashioned toga is standing? Do you see the seven ostrich eggs upon the stand? They will be removed one by one as each round of the race is run. Usually a small silver palm is awarded the winner of each race, but because today commemorates the founding of our city, a golden crown of laurel leaves will be given the winning drivers of all but the last two races. There will be a fierce competition between the Greens and the Blues to see who takes home the most crowns. Look! They're off!"

  The chariots thundered off around the race course. Within moments the horses were frothing at the mouth and sweat was flying off their shining flanks. Their drivers drove with a reckless abandon such as Cailin had never seen. At first it appeared that the race course was wide enough to accommodate all four vehicles, but Cailin shortly saw that in order to win, the drivers had to steer their chariots all over the course, this way and that, struggling to get ahead of their competitors. Sparks flew as wheels from opposing chariots clanged together gratingly, and the drivers used their whips not only on their horses, but on the other drivers in their path as well.

  The crowd screamed itself hoarse as the Green team's chariot spun around the final turn on one wheel, almost tipping over but quickly righting itself, only to be cut off by the Blue team's chariot, which leapt ahead suddenly, crossing the finish line first by just a nose. Both chariots came to a halt, and the drivers of the Blue and Green teams immediately engaged in a violent fistfight. Pulled apart, they left the track shouting curses at one another as the chariots for the next race queued up and dashed off.

  Cailin was delighted by the chariot races. A Celt in her soul, she had always admired good horseflesh; and the horses racing were the finest she had ever seen. "Where do those magnificent animals come from?" she asked Aspar. "I've never seen better. They are finer-boned than the horses in Britain, and they look high-spirited. Their speed and surefootedness is commendable."

  "They come from the East," he told her, "and are highly prized."

  "Does no one raise them here in Byzantium, my lord?" she wondered.

  "Not to my knowledge, my love. Why are you so curious?"

  "Could we not take some of your land, and instead of growing grain, put it into pasture in order to raise these horses? If they are so prized here, then certainly these animals would bring you a fine profit. The market for these beasts would be great, as it would be far more accessible to and less risky for the chariot teams than importing animals from the East. If we raised our own horses, they could see them grow from birth, and even choose early those whom they felt showed promise," Cailin concluded. "What think you, my lord?"

  "I think she is brilliant!" Arcadius chimed in enthusiastically.

  "We would have to find an excellent stallion, or two for breeding purposes, and we would need at least a dozen mares to start," Aspar thought aloud. "I would have to go to Syria myself to find the animals. We should allow no one there to realize our intent. The Syrians pride themselves on their fine horses, and their profitable export market. I can probably obtain young mares here and there by pretending I want them for the ladies in my family, who amuse themselves riding when in the country. Normally," he told Cailin, "women do not ride."

  "The Greens have won the second race while you chattered," Casia chimed in. "The Blues are crying collusion, for the Reds and the Whites seemed to have made a decided effort to cut off the Blue team's driver at every turn, and he finished dead last."

  Between each of the morning's four races there was a little entertainment as performed by mimes, acrobats, and finally a man with a troupe of amusing little dogs that leapt through hoops, did tumblesaults, and danced upon their hind legs to the music of a flute. These intervals were brief, but a much longer one came between the morning's races and those to be run in the afternoon. Then the emperor's box emptied, as did the patriarch's.

  "Where are they going?" Cailin asked of no one in particular.

  "To a small banquet that has been prepared for Leo and his invited guests," Aspar told her. "Look about you, my love. Everyone has brought food and is beginning to eat it; and here is Zeno with luncheon for our guests. As always, old friend, you are prompt."

  "Aspar positively dotes upon you," Casia said in a low voice to Cailin as their luncheon was being set out. "You are very fortunate, my young friend, to have found such a man. The rumor is he would marry you if he could, but do not count upon it."

  "I do not," Cailin said. "I dare not. I have grown to love Aspar, but still something deep within me warns of danger. Sometimes I can ignore that voice within, but at other times it nags, and frightens me so that I cannot sleep. Aspar does not know this. I would not distress him in any way. He loves me, Casia, and
is so good to me."

  "You are just fearful because the last time you allowed yourself to love a man with all your heart, you were cruelly separated from him, Cailin. It will not happen again." She accepted a goblet of wine offered her by the attending Zeno, and sipped it. "Ahh, Cyprian! Delicious!"

  An imperial guardsman entered the box. "My lord general," he said politely. "The emperor requests that you join him at table."

  "Thank the emperor," Aspar said, annoyed. Leo knew that he had guests of his own. "Tell hjm it would be impolite of me to leave my own invited guests, but that if he needs me, I will attend him afterward."

  The guardsman bowed and had turned to go when Cailin said, "Wait!" She took Aspar's hands in her own and looked up at him. "Go, my lord, please go, if only for my sake. No matter how gently you couch your refusal, you will insult the emperor. I will entertain our guests until your return." She leaned over and gave him a gentle kiss upon the cheek. "Now go, and you will be pleasant and polite, not irritated."

  Aspar arose reluctantly. "For your sake, my love, but only for your sake. You would not have me offend Leo, yet his invitation offends me because it ignores you, and the others with us."

  "I do not exist for the emperor, nor does Casia. As for the others, they are artisans and actors. Sometimes invited, sometimes not," Cailin said wisely with a small smile. She was quickly learning the ways of Byzantium's society. "Go, that your return be all the sooner!"

  "You have more breeding than most of the court," Arcadius said to her, arching a dark eyebrow. "You are not what you seem, I think."

  Cailin smiled serenely. "I am what I am," she answered.

  Arcadius chuckled, and seeing he would get no more from her today, turned his attention to the rather excellent ham upon his silver plate. He would learn what he wanted to know this summer when she posed for him.

  Shortly after Aspar had departed the box, another imperial guardsman entered it, and bowing to Cailin, said. "Lady, you are to come with me, if you please."

  "What is it you want?" she asked him. "And who has sent you?"

  The guardsman was young, and he blushed at her frank scrutiny. "Lady," he agonized, "I cannot say. This is a private matter."

  Before Cailin might speak again Casia leaned forward, allowing the young man a very good view of her full bosom. "Do you know who I am, young sir?" she purred at him. "My, my, you are such a handsome fellow!"

  Arcadius snickered. Casia would have the information she wanted within a very short time by the look on the guardsman's face.

  "Nay, lady, I do not know you," the young man replied nervously, unable to tear his eyes from her snowy white breasts. "Should I?"

  "I am Prince Basilicus's special friend, young sir, and if you do not tell the lady Cailin who sent you, I shall tell my prince of your rudeness, and of how you violated me with your wicked brown eyes. Now, speak!"

  The young guardsman guiltily raised his eyes. He reddened, and then he murmured low, "The empress, lady." Then looking anxiously at Cailin, he said, "She means you no harm, lady. She is a fine woman."

  Both Casia and Arcadius laughed, causing the other guests in the box to look up from their food with curiosity.

  Cailin arose. "Since you all know with whom I shall be, there is little to fear. I will go with you, young sir." Smoothing the wrinkles from her stola, she followed him from the box and down the staircase.

  At the foot of the stairs was a small door in the entry wall, so cleverly hidden that Cailin had not noticed it before. The guardsman pressed the wall in a certain spot, and the door opened to reveal a second flight of steps. She hurried down them, following the young soldier. They entered what Cailin realized was the main corridor to the imperial box. The tunnel was well-lit with torches, and several feet down from where they had entered the guardsman stopped, and pressing upon the wall, revealed another door which sprang open at his touch. Before them was a room, and within it a woman who turned at the sound of the door opening.

  "Come in," she said in a low, well-modulated voice. "Wait for us outside, John," she ordered the guardsman. "You have done well."

  The door shut behind Cailin, who bowed politely to Verina.

  "You do not look like a whore," the empress said frankly.

  "I am not one," Cailin replied quietly.

  "Yet you lived at Villa Maxima for several months, and took part in what I am told was one of the most notorious entertainments ever seen in this or any other city," Verina said. "If you are not a whore, then what exactly are you?"

  "My name is Cailin Drusus, and I am a Briton. My family descends from the great Roman family. My ancestor, Flavius Drusus, was a tribune in the Fourteenth Gemina Legion, and came to Britain with the emperor Claudius. My father was Gaius Drusus Corinium. Almost two years ago I was kidnapped and sold into slavery. I was a wife and a mother when this happened. I was brought in a consignment of slaves to this city. Jovian Maxima bought me in the common market for four folles, lady. What he did with me you are obviously aware. My lord Aspar rescued me from that shameful captivity, and freed me," Cailin finished proudly.

  Verina was fascinated. "You have the look of a patrician, and you speak well," she said. "You live as Aspar's mistress, don't you, Cailin Drusus? They say he loves you not just with his body, but with his heart as well. I did not think him capable of such a weakness."

  "Is love then a weakness, majesty?" Cailin said softly.

  "For those in power it is," the empress replied honestly. "Those in power must never have any weakness that can be exploited against them. Yes, love of a woman, of children, of any kind, is a weakness."

  "Yet your priests teach that love conquers all," Cailin said.

  "You are not a Christian, then?" Verina asked.

  "Father Michael, who was sent to me by the patriarch, says that I am not yet ready to be baptized a Christian. He says I ask too many questions, and have not the proper humility for a woman. The apostle Paul, I have been told, said that women should humble themselves before men. I am afraid I am not humble enough," Cailin replied.

  Verina laughed. "If most of us were not baptized as infants, we should never be, for we lack humility as well, Cailin Drusus, but you must be baptized if you are to become Aspar's wife. The general of the Eastern Armies cannot have a pagan for a wife. It will not be tolerated. Surely you can deceive this Father Michael into believing you have learned humility."

  Aspar's wife? She could not have heard the empress correctly.

  Verina saw the startled look on Cailin's beautiful face, and divined immediately what had caused it. "Yes," she told the surprised girl. "You heard me correctly. I said, 'Aspar's wife,' Cailin Drusus."

  "I have been told that it is impossible for me to attain such a status, majesty," Cailin said slowly. She had to think. "I have been told that there is a law in Byzantium forbidding marriages between the nobility and those who are actresses and entertainers. I have been told that the time I spent at Villa Maxima would negate my patrician birth."

  "It is important to me," Verina answered her, "that I retain the goodwill and support of General Aspar. It is true that you came here as a slave and served as an entertainer in a brothel, Cailin Drusus, but you are a patrician. I have no doubts as to your lineage. I watched you this morning. Your manner is cultured, and you are obviously well-bred. I believe what you have told me of your background is true. Your time at Villa Maxima was short. Those who know of it will remain silent, or I will see that they are silenced when you become Aspar's wife. You do want to be his wife?"

  Cailin nodded slowly, and then said, "What do you want of me, majesty? Such a favor will have a high price, I know."

  Verina smiled archly. "You are wise to understand that, Cailin Drusus. Very well. I will help overcome the objections voiced to a marriage between you and General Aspar, if you, in return, will guarantee me his aid should I need it. And he must swear to me himself on the relic of the true cross that he is my man should I need him. I know you can convince him to do this in retur
n for my help."

  Cailin's heart was hammering. "This is not something that I can broach easily," she said. "I will speak with him in a few days' time, majesty, but how will I be able to communicate my success or failure to you? For now I do not even exist as far as your world is concerned. If I did, you would have invited me to your banquet, not just Aspar, who had to be separated from me so you and I could meet secretly here beneath the walls of the Hippodrome."

  "It is so refreshing to have someone speak openly and honestly," the empress said. "Here at Byzantium's court everyone couches their words in hidden meaning; and motives are often so complex as to be unknown. Speak with your lord, and in a few days' time I will come one afternoon by sea, with a few trusted companions, to visit the general's summer villa. If anyone learns of my visit, it will be thought I am merely curious, and it will cause no scandal. Leo is a very righteous man, and I am a most loyal helpmate. If he learns of my excursion, he will naturally assume I have been led astray by my companions; an assumption I will not correct. Such occurrences have happened before." She smiled meaningfully.

  "I will do my very best for you, majesty," Cailin said.

  The empress laughed. "I have no doubt that you will, my dear. After all, both our future happiness depends on your being successful, and I am a bad enemy to have, I promise you; but we must get back. If I stay too long away from the banquet, my absence will be noted." Verina went to the door and opened it, saying, "John, return this lady to her box, and then take up your post as before. Farewell, Cailin Drusus."

  Cailin bowed politely and backed from the room. As she followed the guardsman along the tunnel and up the two flights of stairs, her mind was awhirl with the events of the last few minutes. Reentering her box, she was accosted by an eager Casia.

  "What did she want?" Casia whispered, and Arcadius leaned over to hear Cailin's answer.