“That works for me.”
“We’ll just figure it out as we go. You’re an exception to the rule of how this normally works.”
“Am I? Because I’m not submissive by nature?”
“Because you’re Mia, and there’s no one like you anywhere else.”
She laughs softly. “Sometimes you’re kinda sweet. I can see why Sara adores you so much.”
“Sara’s perspective of me is skewed, which is exactly how I like it. She needs a big brother she can count on, and that’s what she gets in me.”
“I need a man I can count on too, Gabriel.”
“That’s what you get, ma petite, but in ways that far exceed brotherly duties.”
“Thank God.”
Laughing, I reply, “Yes, thank God.”
“So what’s with the call? You couldn’t stay away?”
“Actually, that’s correct. I couldn’t go to sleep without hearing your voice again.” She doesn’t say anything, and I’m curious why. “Does that freak you out?”
“No.”
“You were quiet.”
“Just because…” she sighs. “I’m fine.”
“Don’t keep things from me. There is nothing off limits between us.”
“It’s really nothing, Gabriel. Did you need anything else?”
My brow crinkles when I realize I just witnessed her guard going up. I’m not really sure what I said or did to cause it.
“No, I don’t, Mia. Does it bother you that I just wanted to hear your voice one more time before I closed my eyes?”
“No.”
“It seems like it does, like you’re irritated I called.”
“I’m not, Gabriel, I just…” She sighs again. “I guess this dynamic we’re creating is new for me, and I’m not really sure how to navigate it yet.”
I smile when I hear her answer. “That makes two of us, but remember you decided to trust me. That’s all you need to do.”
“Okay, yeah. You might have to remind me a few times.”
“Count on it. Now, get some sleep. I won’t bug you again.”
She laughs. “You’re not bugging me. Thanks for calling. It’s nice to talk.”
“Yeah, it is. Night, Mia.”
“Night, Gabriel.”
Hanging up, I roll over to my side and turn off my lamp with a smile on my face. This is new territory for me, but I like it a lot.
IN THE MORNING, after my shower, I call the bakery I’ve been getting bagels from to see if my desired plans can be met.
“Hot Cuppa, this is Marie. Can I help you?”
“Hi, Marie. I want to see if it’s possible to get a standing delivery order set up. Can you help me?”
“Sure. What can I do for you?”
I explain to Marie what I’m interested in, happy when she agrees. After finishing my call, I open my computer to work on some emails before heading into work. As each week passes, I get more responsibilities thrown my way, proving that the decision to go to Paris was good for me in more than just personal ways. It’s just a matter of time before I get the ultimate promotion, and then my future is set.
After getting dressed, I study my reflection in the mirror for a moment. From outside appearances, no one would guess that I’m such a kinky fucker. In my dress shirt and slacks, I appear normal, like most men, albeit more attractive than most. I’ve always known I was blessed in the looks department when even as a young boy starting school, I always had a crowd of girls at my feet. I could take my pick, selecting only the best of the best, never settling for any woman that didn’t drive me crazy. The problem is, over time I’ve become bored, and what it takes to excite me is getting harder and harder to find. Until Mia.
I knew it was a risk agreeing to meet my sister’s friend, but when she showed me the picture of her on her phone, there was no way I could say no. Mia is exotic with her tan skin and long mane of hair. I’m not sure what color her eyes are, but I know they stare into my soul like no one ever has. The minute I saw her in person, I knew I had to do whatever it took to get her to be mine. That mission hasn’t changed.
I barely slept from the erotic visions of her playing in my mind all night. The things that I want to do to that woman cause my dick to twitch every time I think of it. I want, no need, another blow job. She can suck a cock like it’s her job. I smile and straighten my tie. Jesus, that woman is hot. Grabbing my keys, I head out to start my day. The sooner this week is over, the sooner she’ll be here.
An hour or so later, I’m sitting at my desk when my phone rings. I smile when I see her name.
“Bonjour, ma petite.”
“Hi, Gabriel. Thank you for breakfast. Again.”
“You’re welcome. You should get used to this.”
“I’m gonna get fat eating bagels and cream cheese every day.”
“We’ll be sure to work off the extra calories.” She laughs. “Did you sleep well?”
“Mostly. I had a lot of dreams.”
“About?”
She pauses for a moment. “Your cock,” she whispers.
“Mm, what about it?”
“I can’t say. People will hear me.”
I decide to play with her a little. “I won’t let you go until you explain what you dreamt about.”
She sighs. “Hold on, please.”
“Certainly.” I wait as I hear rustling then the sound of heels on a tiled floor.
“Okay.”
“Where did you go?”
“Outside on a balcony.”
“Good girl. Tell me your dream.”
“I was sitting between your legs.”
“Mm hmm, doing what?”
“Sucking your balls.”
A smile tugs at my lips as my dick responds in my slacks. “And then?”
“And then I got up on my knees and slid my mouth over your shaft while I stuck a finger in your asshole.”
My eyebrows raise. Wasn’t expecting that. “Is that something you like to do to men?”
“I never have before. You just make me think of all the ways I can be really dirty.”
“Why?”
“Because I think…” She lets her words trail off and all I can hear is her breath.
“Continue, Mia.”
Exhaling, she speaks. “Because I think it’ll please you.”
“And?”
“And that’s all I want.”
“Very good and you’re right. I do want the dirtiest things you can think of. We’ll do them all together, Mia.”
“Okay,” she replies, but her voice is barely audible. “Will I see you tonight?”
“I’m glad you asked. I have some directions for you.”
“I’m listening.”
“For the remainder of the week, you will not touch yourself in a sexual way. Do you understand?”
She groans softly. “Yes, sir.”
“For the rest of the week, I want you to live your life as you did before you met me. Go out with friends, with permission of course, dress how you like, spend your time as you wish, because come Friday night, it all changes and your time becomes mine. Do you understand?”
“I think so.”
“You think so or yes?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Just so you don’t fall out of practice over the next few days, I want you to text me pictures of all your meals. I want you to take a picture of yourself every morning after you dress for work and send it to me. I want you to call me every night before you go to bed. Yes?”
“Yes.”
Her agreement surprises me, so I decide to push her just a little bit more and see what happens. “I’d like you to do something for me right now, Mia. Are you ready?”
“I think so.”
“I want you to email me your bank account information.”
“Um, why would I do that?”
“Because I’m going to be in charge of that now.”
“Wait.” Her voice changes and I know I’ve got her. “What do you
mean in charge of it?”
“Remember when I said I was your ruler?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m your ruler. I’ll decide what you spend and how you spend it, but first I need to have an overview of your finances.”
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Her voice raises. “Sex is one thing, Gabriel, and I’ll play ball in that court. I’ll say sir and act like I’m too dumb to wipe my own ass over certain things, but I’m not turning over my life to you. Fuck that shit.” She hangs up on me without another word causing me to laugh. That is the exact reaction I thought she would have.
Right now, I imagine she’s fuming, pacing the balcony deciding if this is going to continue between us, but I know it will. She’ll call me back in a few minutes and attempt to renegotiate my request where she maintains some power. Until then, I’ll just wait for her to break. Eventually, she’ll give in.
THAT MOTHERFUCKER! Ooh, I am so mad right now. Who the fuck does he think he is? Control over my finances? He must think I’m some kind of idiot. I’ve known him for what, two fucking weeks? Ugh!
I stomp back inside and to my desk. To think I was all in after last night, agreeing to his games. Call him sir? Sure, why not. Get on my knees to suck his dick? That glorious masterpiece of male genitalia? No problem. Even a key to my place, fine, but give him my personal bank account info so he can put me on some kind of allowance? It’s my fucking money!
I sit down, slumping in my chair and rubbing my forehead. If he thinks I’m going to call him back, he can suck it. I wouldn’t even know what to say to him at this point, I’m so pissed. I take a deep breath, stretch my neck back and forth, and focus on my tasks for the day, trying to block out the gorgeous man with the blue eyes who’s managed to get under my skin like no man has before.
Not long after, I look up as Sara approaches with a smile on her face.
“Morning,” she says, in her sing-song voice, unaware that my blood is still boiling.
“Morning.”
She eyes the bagel remnants on my desk. “Breakfast again?”
“Yeah.”
Sitting on the edge of my desk, she crosses her arms, and narrows her eyes at me. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Whatever, Mia. I know your moods. You’re pissed off about something.”
Knowing I can’t tell her, my mind searches for an acceptable response. “I just had one of those mornings, ya know? Where you just can’t find your rhythm. I’m fine though, promise.”
“Okay.” She grins, seemingly accepting my answer. “Guess what?”
“Tell me.”
Jamie came over last night, and we had dinner together.”
“That’s cool.”
“Yeah. Guess what else.”
“Tell me,” I repeat, leaning back in my chair.
She leans close to my face. “He went down on me.”
My eyes open wide at her admission. “You don’t say?”
“For a long time. Literally until I had to push him off me because I couldn’t take it anymore.”
“Nice.”
“Yeah, it was heavenly. I’ve never had a guy that was so excited about it.”
“Can’t be mad about that.”
“No.”
“Did you reciprocate?”
“No, he didn’t want me to. He said it was all about me.”
Hmm. Exact opposite of my situation.
“Did you talk to Gabriel yet?” she asks.
“Today? Yeah, a little while ago.”
“Was he okay?”
I shrug. “Don’t know. Why?”
“I called him just before I came over to see you. He was in a terrible mood, really short with me, and wouldn’t talk long. Just wondered how he was with you.”
I fight back the grin knowing I’m the cause of his tantrum. “No idea. Maybe he’s just having a bad day at work.”
“Yeah, maybe. Anyway, the main reason I came over was to tell you that Brad over in Compliance is hosting a birthday happy hour for his group. They invited us since we work with them so often. It’s Friday night.”
Remembering what Gabriel said about Friday, I pause, considering my availability. After today, I’m not sure he’s still coming over, and I’m damn sure not calling him to ask permission to go.
“Do you want to go?” she asks.
“Yeah. Why not?”
“Cool. I’ll tell him we’re in. See you for lunch later?”
“You bet.”
“Okay.” She bounces off, and I get back to my work.
Two hours later, after meeting with my manager, I check my phone for messages from Gabriel, but there’s nothing. Maybe he’s mad at me. If he is, he’s just gonna have to deal with it. I have boundaries that he also needs to learn.
HOURS LATER AS I drive home, my thoughts are completely clouded with Gabriel. I didn’t hear from him the rest of the day, and I hate that I wanted to. The hours dragged by as I waited for a text, a call, something. Now I have to decide if I’m willing to walk away from him over what happened this morning. I can’t concede on this, can I? I’m a fucking feminist, for God’s sake. Feminists don’t give over their bank accounts to men they’re dating. Then the thought hits me that feminists don’t crawl on the floor and turn submissive over some dick. Even if it is one amazing dick.
My thoughts are interrupted by the car honking behind me, and I realize I was spacing out at the stoplight. Driving on, I try to make sense of my thoughts. I can’t imagine not seeing him again, but I also can’t imagine giving up control over every aspect of my life. Not even for him. I’ve worked so hard to build a life for myself. What if he spends all my money just to teach me some kind of fucked up lesson? What if he tells me I eat out too much? A fact that’s true, but still my damn right to do.
Pulling into my garage, I sigh, knowing I’m not done yet. I’m just not ready to give in. Not yet. I have to figure out how to play his game, while still staying true to myself. Entering my house, I throw my handbag and keys down on the kitchen island and walk into the living room. Not even a minute later, there’s a knock on my door.
I peek outside and my stomach flutters when I see Gabriel. I open the door and smile, but he just stares at me.
“Do you want to come in?”
“No. I thought I’d stand on your fucking doorstep all night.” He fixes the coldest glare I’ve ever seen on me. Based on the look on his face, I’d say we’re about to have a massive fight.
I step to the side as he brushes past me. When I turn around, he’s so close I have to strain my neck to look at him. He hasn’t said a word yet, but his face is frozen with anger.
“What are you doing here?”
His eyes wash over my face, before he finally speaks. “Did I say you could talk yet?”
“No, but—”
“So why are you speaking?”
Clenching my jaw, I look straight into his eyes. “I don’t like this game.”
“It’s not a game.” He grips my arm. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s definitely firm. “Get on your knees.”
“No!”
“Do it, Mia. Those are the rules.”
“Why do we have rules if it’s not a game?” His eyes narrow, but instead of speaking, he pulls my arm in an attempt to get me to the floor. I fight back, resisting him with all the strength I can muster until I shove away from him. “Stop it!”
“Goddammit, Mia.” He runs his hand through his hair. “Why do you fight me?”
“Because you don’t own me!”
“Wrong.” He pulls me close to him so that our bodies are pressed together. I can feel his hot breath on my face, smelling of mint and a faint hint of cigarettes. “You have a decision to make right now, Mia. You can tell me to go and I will. You’ll never see me again, and our… arrangement will be over.”
His words feel like knives stabbing me repeatedly in the chest. No. No. No.
“Or…” he continues. “You can get on your knees and show
me some respect. You can show me by your actions that you want me to stay, that you want me to be your ruler.” He grips my chin. “Show me that you’re still my devoted, or be willing to let me go.”
My mind races with possibilities. I hate being threatened, but I already know there’s no way I can let him go. I want him to smile and rub my cheek and tell me I’m beautiful and his. I want to belong to him. A thought comes to me that causes near panic. I want him to force me to my knees. Fuck. I’m losing my damn mind over this man.
“Make me.” I look up at him. “Sir.”
He tilts his head, searching my eyes. “Are you sure you want that?”
God, yes. I already know, or rather believe, that he would never hurt me.
“Mia?”
“I forgot…” Fuck. Am I really gonna say this? Am I really going to give him this power?
“What did you forget?”
“My place, sir. I forgot my place, but I want you to ask nicely.”
His face remains neutral, but I notice how his jaw twitches, as his hand caresses my arm. “Get on your knees. Please.”
Without hesitation this time, I slide down to my knees, dragging my hands along the smooth material of his slacks. Averting my eyes, I wait for additional instruction, unsure of what hidden part of me finds this exciting, but giving into it just the same.
Gabriel strokes my hair. “Tell me the things you did that you want forgiveness for.”
Oh fuck. I better make this good. “Defying your wishes.”
“Which one. You’ve been a defiant little cunt all day.”
My eyes open wide as my entire body flushes with heat. From anger or lust, I can’t tell yet. This fucker just called me a cunt. The only other time in my life I was called that, I beat the fuck out of the bitch that said it. I’ve never had a man say it.
“What’s wrong, Mia? Are you angry I called you a cunt?” I blink rapidly still staring at the floor. “Look at me!” Bending my head back, I glare up at the imposing man before me. “Oh yeah, there’s that flash of anger in those sultry eyes of yours. You’re pissed off, but so turned on right now, you have no idea what to do. Am I right?”
Reckless Devotion (Book One) Page 11