It wasn’t that I wasn’t eager to hear what she had to tell me. I was dying to know, and her reaction only fueled that thirst.
I could wait though. I wanted her to enjoy tonight. I wanted her to enjoy tonight with me.
“Tonight was a night we both worked hard for. All I asked is that you met me at seven and that you wanted to talk. You did both. I’m pretty certain it’s not even seven yet. Let’s just enjoy tonight.”
The light returned to her eyes. The spark that lit up for me burned within them.
She held my gaze for a few seconds then nodded. “Okay. But we talk first thing tomorrow.”
“Yes.” This was good. We had to go through that period of unpleasantness which led us here and now we’d sort it out.
“Now please,” I began. “Can I please go inside and show off the most beautiful woman in Japan.”
“Oh Tai, you’re too much.”
“No, it’s you princess. It was always you.”
Phoebe
I was a ball of nerves.
I’d gathered up all the courage I had in me to talk to Tai tonight, as in literally that second when I saw him when he suggested talking tomorrow.
I wasn’t sure if that was best but perhaps tomorrow would be a better idea.
I could imagine myself falling apart and looking like a complete mess after I told him and this wasn’t the place for it.
Besides, I didn’t know what his reaction would be.
Tai could blame me for not telling him up front about my accident. Just like when he mentioned me leaving out my marriage and divorce when we played twenty questions.
What a mess. It was like whatever I chose was the wrong thing and I always got hurt in one way or another.
Tai gave my hand a gentle squeeze then slipped his arm around me.
I leaned into him as we walked up the stepped and entered the grand hall.
The emperor would be doing his speech at eight. I could see him talking with some officials in the furthest corner of the hall.
I’d had the privilege of meeting him a few days after Tai found the box.
That was an experience in itself.
Meeting the emperor.
He asked me if I’d be around in December to celebrate his birthday. That too was a massive celebration in Japan.
It was at that festival that the treasures of the land were brought out. Since we’d found pieces of priceless history it seemed fitting to do another complimentary exhibition.
That sort of thing was right up my alley.
I told him I’d do my best to make it.
There were at least three hundred people here.
Tai kept his arm around my waist, keeping me close.
“I think we should get lost after the speech. What do you think?” Tai asked, pulling me close to whisper into my ear.
“Yes.”
He smiled down at me and leaned over for a kiss. When we pulled apart, I looked ahead and saw Mom and Dad ahead of us. They’d just come into the hall with Akito and Tai’s parents.
I had a nostalgic moment where this felt like it could have been eleven years ago.
“I forgot to tell you my mom was here.” I did forget.
A wicked smile lit up Tai’s face and he answered me with a kiss. One that was evocative and perhaps best placed in the bedroom.
I got it. Let her see us just as she found us, a few weeks close to eleven years ago.
I smiled into the kiss, wondering what her face would be like, but not caring.
Someone cleared their throat from behind us in an overly suggestive manner, evident that they wanted to catch our attention.
I turned to see who it was and froze.
Completely froze, solid like ice.
Shit!
It was Jason!
Jason.
What the fuck?
Why was he here? What was he doing here?
Tai turned too, arm still around my waist.
“Can we help you with something?” Tai asked.
Jason ignored him. “Well looks like congratulations are in order.” He said to me.
“Tai… this is Jason. My ex-husband. I’m not sure why he’s here.” I spoke with a firm voice, irritated that Jason was still ignoring Tai. What an asshole.
“I accompanied the officials from the institute. Remember, I’m on the board. You guys made a big discovery everyone’s talking about.”
I knew that there would be a few officials here from the institute, my father would be attending as one, but Jason didn’t really need to be here.
It was necessary at all. Except maybe to irritate me.
“Right.” I nodded. “I forgot that you look for every opportunity to put your name on something.”
“Some things I seriously wished never had my name.”
Me… he was talking about me.
Tai noticed that straight away. “I’m sorry what did you just say?” Tai released his hold on me.
Jason simply laughed as he regarded Tai, looking him up and down like he was beneath him.
“This your latest victim Phoebe?” Jason mused eyeing Tai up with amusement.
Victim. How dare he?
“Come on Tai let’s go.” I didn’t want to speak to Jason anymore or cause a scene.
“Personal lapdog too, where did you find this guy?” Jason continued. “You know she may have the ass and tits but did this bitch tell you she comes with a warning label?”
The blood drained from my cheeks. This was his attempt to embarrass me the same way I embarrassed him at his meeting.
The only warning label I could come with was that I couldn’t have children.
Before I could respond and tell him to go fuck himself Tai landed a fist straight in Jason’s face.
Tai was at least four inches taller, was built like a tank with all that muscle and that no- nonsense attitude fueled him with rage.
“Fucking asshole, how dare you speak to her like that?” Tai cried.
Jason stumbled backwards but regained his footing and threw back a punch that Tai dodged with ease.
Tai grabbed him in his neck and hoisted him up in the air.
“Tai stop!” I cried when I saw Jason gasping for air.
Several people had gathered around now watching the debacle.
Tai released Jason, but the fool thought he should continue the fight. He kicked Tai and that was when Tai grabbed him and threw him on the ground.
Suddenly the two were on the ground, Tai landing punches in Jason’s face.
I had to throw myself on his back to get him to stop.
“Tai no, it’s not worth it!” I cried.
One last punch. Another would have knocked him out, or killed him for sure.
Jason coughed up blood. His nose was black and blue with blood running from it.
Some of the security guards had come up and we’d attracted quite a crowd.
Of course people would gather around to see what the hell would be happening at such an event.
It was so inappropriate.
“Trust you Phoebe to get this fucking psycho.” Jason spat. “At least we can all sleep better at night knowing you can’t have kids with him.”
Evil son of a bitch. He had to squeeze that in somehow. Couldn’t leave it alone at his warning label comment.
Tai would have probably asked me what Jason meant by it.
I might have been able to still save myself some dignity and get the chance to explain things properly to Tai. But then Jason took one look at his confused expression , and took the moment to get me back by saying, “whoops, looks like you didn’t know. Phoebe’s damaged. Can’t have kids.”
He spelled it out. Right there in Tai’s face, right there in front of everyone who was watching.
Jason was a demon. He knew he’d look like an asshole for saying such a thing but he knew embarrassing me in front of a guy who obviously cared for me would be more satisfying for him.
I released my grasp on Tai and stood, sha
king. Feeling like my legs would crumble. I backed away.
Tai turned and reached for me. “Phoebe.”
I stepped away from him, out of his reach backing into someone.
Mom.
She held me, face sympathetic. Dad was next to her.
“Sweetheart don’t cry.” She offered .
I didn’t realize that tears were streaming down my cheeks.
I looked back to Tai who was now standing too, gazing at me.
He looked at me, confused then sympathetic.
What a way to find out that I couldn’t have kids.
“Phoebe,” Tai began, but as I continued to look at him I had that lightheaded, weightless feeling that made me sick.
This was a nightmare. Who was I kidding?
Just myself.
I didn’t want him to find out this way and now that he had I couldn’t see how this would work.
It was too much to handle. It tore me apart, and all I could do was run, run away.
Chapter 32
Tai
“Phoebe wait.” I ran after her. Following her out into the parking lot where more people were coming in.
It was the crowds that slowed her giving me a chance to catch her and grab her arm.
She was crying so much, and she wouldn’t look at me.
“Tai, please just let me go.”
“No.” I snapped. I didn’t want to let her go. All I wanted was to make her feel better.
God, I knew it was something important that she wanted to tell me but I would never have guessed it was that. I foolishly thought it was something to do with that prick of an ex she had. That fucker, what a way to treat someone. And he was the states attorney.
Glad I got to beat him to a fucking pulp.
“Phoebe.”
John caught up to us and rested a hand on me.
“Tai.” He cried. I looked back to him and he nodded.
I didn’t want to let her go, but it seemed to be one of those situations where it was best.
I released her and watched her run away. Running through the crowd and into the darkness.
“Why did you allow that asshole to come here?” I snapped at John.
Damn, I hadn’t seen John in the same length of time that I hadn’t seen Phoebe and that wasn’t the type of greeting I wanted to give him.
“Son, I didn’t know he was going to be here.”
It wouldn’t be his fault or anyone else’s. I was just so damn mad that the fucker embarrassed Phoebe like that.
“What happened to her?” I asked.
“That’s something you two should talk about. It’s better that way.” John nodded. “Give her some time then go see her.” He suggested.
I went back to Akito’s.
I suspected Phoebe’s parents and Mitsuke were all here too but I kept myself away from them.
I was in the study, or rather Rukia’s room. This was where she used to play the piano and teach us all sorts of things when we were little.
She’d sing for us. The woman was an angel.
The piano was still here as were the rows of shelves containing children’s books in both Japanese and English. Stories about everything.
This was the room I first met Phoebe in.
My mom brought me in here after we’d arrived for the summer holidays.
Phoebe was on Rukia’s lap. A mere toddler. Smiling away as she sang. I remembered the smile because I thought she looked like a doll. In fact for a while I thought she was.
When she looked at me she smiled. Maybe that wasn’t truly for me, but I’d like to think that it was. I wanted to think that something connected us from back then.
I couldn’t believe that she’d gone through so much. I couldn’t believe it. It all made sense now. Everything.
That day when we went to Kyoto and I started talking about kids, that was when everything changed between us.
I never noted it as the point in time when things changed because in my mind there wasn’t anything to note. For her, that conversation must have crushed her. When I saw her next she’d changed.
I wanted to talk to her now. I was still awaiting and wondering how much time was enough.
It had been nearly two hours from her running off to me coming here and waiting inside here.
Two agonizing hours of me wondering what I was going to say to her, and where we would go from here.
A little knock sounded at the door. I lifted my head as the door opened and Phoebe’s mom came in.
She looked at me sitting on the rocking chair by the window.
Phoebe looked a lot like her. They had the same features, but Phoebe had her father’s eyes. That ocean blue I could fall into and stay in forever.
She stopped a few paces away and brought her hands together over her cream colored dress with beads running down the side.
Phoebe definitely got her elegance from her. I was glad that was all because if she took her personality I would never have stood a chance.
This woman had hated my guts for years. Used to hate the way I looked at her daughter, knew even before I did that I was crazy about Phoebe.
Then she made her last strike by telling me to stay away.
What did she want?
“Tai.”
“Mrs Walker.” Always respectful, that was me.
“I came to see if you were okay.”
I raised a brow. “Really, did you? Or was it to check if I was still here?” I was certain that she would have preferred for me to be gone.
“I came to see if you were okay.” She repeated. “I knew you’d still be here.”
“If you’re going to tell me to leave her alone you can save your breath. I’m not. Should have never listened to you. You didn’t know me back then and you don’t know me now. How could you have let her marry someone like that? That guy could never have loved her.” No one had to tell me that. From the look of him I knew straight away that Phoebe had definitely married him to please mommy dearest.
“I thought he did.”
“Nah.” I shook my head. “As you’re so insightful, you should have been able to tell. The same way you looked at me and knew I lacked ambition in life. You should have known that guy was a jerk who would cause her pain.” No one in their right mind would have been so evil. So evil as to embarrass anyone the way Jason had with Phoebe tonight.
“I know and I blame myself.”
“Good. Because she should never have been with someone like that. I loved her. Me. But you knew that too.” My voice shook as I spoke, and so did my soul as I faced the woman who caused my greatest fear to come to light. Telling me I wasn’t good enough for her daughter when I feared it.
“Tai, the last time we met I said some really terrible things to you. Things that I can’t take back, but can only apologize for. I should never have said such things to a boy I’d watched grow up with my children. I don’t expect you to forgive me but I’m hoping that I can fix things. I’m really sorry.”
I looked down at the square patterns on the carpet, stared for a few seconds then returned my gaze to her.
“Thanks for your apology.” That was the best I could say. I didn’t know what more I was supposed to say about it because her behavior had caused so much damage. “What happened to her?”
She swallowed hard and she dabbed at the corners of her eyes. “I think you should go see her now, allow her to tell you.” She nodded. “Go see Phoebe now. You guys talk okay?”
I bit the inside of my lip and stood up to go. I didn’t answer as I moved past her.
I made my way upstairs to Phoebe’s room, my heart pounding in my chest then sinking when I opened the door and saw the suitcase on her bed. Half packed.
Phoebe was sitting in the corner of the room slumped against the wall crying. She’d changed into a loose shirt and yoga pants. Her hair in that messy bun I liked.
“Phoebe,” I moved over to her and crouched down beside her. “What are you doing? Your bags are packed. ”
&
nbsp; Her eyes were swollen and puffy. “I can’t stay here, Tai.” She shook her head. “I can’t be with you.”
Her words made my soul ache. “Why? Why can’t you be with me?”
“You know why.” She cried, voice shaken. “I can’t have kids. That wasn’t the way I wanted you to find out, but hey it’s done. Lucky me. Now you know the truth. Now you know why I acted the way I did. Now you know why I tried to…”
“Tried to what?” I demanded.
“Not get too close.”
“That’s bull shit Phoebe. Look fuck this shit. Tell me what happened to you. Tell me.” I demanded.
She pulled in a breath and gazed at me.
“After Jason got appointed to governor I suspected for a while that he was cheating on me. I came home one day to find him live in action and I left. I jumped in my car and drove. A drunk driver crashed into me and I suffered severe internal organ damage and had to have a partial hysterectomy. Doctors told me after that I couldn’t have kids. I nearly died, but sometimes I wish I did. Maybe it would have been better than this.” She broke down again and my heart broke with her.
“Don’t say that. Don’t you dare say that to me Phoebe Walker. How can you look at me and tell me you wished you’d died?” I cupped her face as tears streamed down her cheeks.
No wonder everyone was telling me to wait for her to tell me what happened. sure it was better coming from her, but now I wanted to find that fucking Jason and end him.
His cheating ass put my Phoebe in this position.
“Tai, I was twenty six and being told I couldn’t have kids. Jason, called me damaged. He called me damaged tonight too.”
I couldn’t believe that she’d gone through all of that and I never knew.
No wonder she looked so scared and pale earlier when she wanted to talk.
“Phoebe I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t want you to feel sorry for me… or pity me. Not you, I can’t take that from you. I can’t bare the look of pity from you or you thinking I’m damaged.”
“No, you are not damaged. Don’t you believe that for one second.” I stroked the soft skin of her delicate jaw. “I don’t pity you. I feel sorry that you had to go through so much. Sorry that someone who was supposed to love you couldn’t have treated you better.”
Blossoms of The Heart Page 26