That’s all these are: ideas. However, I’m also of the opinion that once an idea expands a brain, it never returns to its original dimensions.
Your experience with drugs (I’ll lump alcohol in with drugs from here on in, since it is a drug, along with tobacco) or some toxic/addictive behavior (overeating, pornography, gambling, scarification) is your own. I’ll use the term ‘user’ instead of ‘addict’…I used the bus daily for months, but never considered myself a ‘bus addict’. Users have similarities and patterns, but that does not
• mean each of us is the same. I’ve met people that called themselves ‘alcoholics’
• when they hadn’t touched a drink in decades. Therefore, I shan’t pretend I know
• your situation, except that your life might improve with a period of clarity, sobriety and health. I will only mention things that may help you, as they have helped others I have known.
1. Research the effects of your usage.
Thanks to the almighty Internet, we now have answers to almost everything at our fingertips. So if you smoke a pack a day, you might learn that amount of smoking will wipe out X amount of Vitamin C that your body needs to function optimally. If you drink heavily, you ought to stock up on B Vitamins. WWW.WEBMD.COM is a good place to start, as is Wikipedia. If you don’t have internet access, a few hours at the local library won’t cost you anything, and all the world’s drugs will still be available later on. And when you’re done with that…
2. Find out what it’s costing you.
Whatever your favorite pick-me-up might be, it probably costs something, unless it’s oxygen, or your spouse owns a liquor store. The cost might be relatively low, or you may have already ‘rationed’ it into your current income (as in, “this chunk of my check goes to Xanax, the rest can go to groceries”). But whatever its cost is, it’d probably improve your life if you stopped spending it on a vice, and collected and/or redirected it elsewhere. For example, when I started smoking, cigarettes cost under one dollar per pack. Now that they cost over seven dollars per pack in my state, I’m glad I’m not getting soaked for $7.00/day, $50.00/week, $200.00/month, etc! One idea that gave me a lot of help in quitting was the fact that seven dollars and change equaled a share of STOCK in any of a few dozen companies! Therefore a year of healthy nonsmoking could potentially rack up 365 shares of stock that would have went ‘up in smoke’ otherwise.
Now, that is the cost of smoking one pack of cigarettes a day. Other substances…marijuana, cocaine, ecstasy, heroin, et. al., have a decidedly higher price tag than the average pack of cigarettes. Even most nightclub cocktails now cost more than a pack of cigarettes, and rare is the partier who goes to a nightclub and only has one.
Even if your pick-me-ups aren’t immediately complicating or endangering your health, job or family, take a moment to think about what they’re doing to your finances. Or, if you’re not having a problem but you know a male friend or acquaintance that is, point out how much money they’re losing. (Not to be sexist—the same approach might work on women—but most men will put off seeing a doctor until their limbs fall off, whereas losing money is a cause of actual concern to them.)
3. VISIT AA or NA, at least once, with an open mind.
This is always an option, in most parts of the civilized world. In some cases, courts will remove the ‘optional’ part and make it mandatory for you. AA and NA are not perfect—nothing is—but they can help you. They are in fact one of the only institutions that want to help you without charging you a good chunk of change: professional rehabilitation programs can cost hundreds or thousands of dollars. AA and NA only ask for what you can spare. Unlike many rehabilitation programs, AA and NA will allow you to come and go as you please. You will not be kidnapped, robbed, or forced to do anything. The worst that might happen is that you might be scolded, by someone who’s been where you are. Ouch.
I myself have a few criticisms of twelve-step programs, but they have worked for all kinds of people. And sadly, there aren’t too many other options. The creator of Moderation Management (where you drink or use under a rigorous schedule of self-control) set up a pretty decent program, but then lost all credibility when they killed some people while driving drunk. The creator of Rational Recovery commands a few thousand dollars for their secret to sobriety.
4. Take A Day Off Of Whatever You’re Using.
So, you’re NOT an addict? You only use (whatever) for a bit of fun? Great. Take a day off of it, and do something else. Exercise. Sky-dive. Write a poem. Cook a big ham dinner for some poor people. Invent something. Do crossword puzzles. Read those books you’ve been wanting to get to. Call every friend you know and catch up with them. Start buying Christmas presents early. Rest assured, you can be in the middle of nowhere and still find things to do.
The most important thing is to let 24 hours go by without using. Because it can be done. There are people who have quit heroin cold-turkey, and claimed that the first 24 hours were Hot Rails to Hell. But merely focusing on something else for once may make all the difference in the world.
If you don’t (never say can’t) let 24 hours go by without using, well, that should be a big neon sign right there: you’re not using, you’re needing. And it’s a bad place to be. Nobody says you have to stay there, though, and few (if any) people want you to.
When you do go 24 hours, pat yourself on the back, but not too hard. Try not to rest on your laurels and say “Well, that was easy! I’m not hooked on anything! I think I’ll celebrate with some Mexican brown heroin.” Instead, embrace the clarity and use it. Dust off some other goal you had—something that requires more than one day of sobriety—and go for it. Make a “To Do” List of things you have to be sober to do, and do as many as you can.
Then…gasp…make another “To Do” list for the next day/week/month/year!
Here’s something to do for the 24 hours you’re not using…
5. Improve your surroundings however you can. Basically, this means clean up your place, whatever it may be. I’m not talking about a total Martha Stewart overhaul, I’m talking about cleaning it up as well as you can, with what you currently have. Put things away, vacuum or mop the floors, clean the surfaces and windows, air the place out. If it’s already pristine (let’s face it, if you’re using, it probably isn’t), change a few things around, add some new art or live plants.
Okay, now the question on your mind is, “What the hell for?!” (especially to you dudes, who are mostly thinking ‘This is GAY!’)
It’s because a clean/overhauled living space instills a sense of pride & accomplishment, whereas a stank hovel of a living space perpetuates that lousy, cyclical feeling of ‘fuck it, look at this place, what’s the use, let’s buy some more ‘rock’. Clearly, this is no sure-fire panacea, but it helps, and you could probably use all the help you can get.
6. Use Your Imagination…while you still have it!
I once saw a poster of a potentially ‘hot’ female model, holding a cigarette…except that her clothes and hair were charred and she had third-degree burns all over her. The caption read: If what was happening to you on the INSIDE was happening to you on the OUTSIDE, would you still smoke?
I’d wager that image has steered quite a few people away from buying their next pack of ‘Marble Row’s’. Still, nobody would think that way until the image was presented to them. They’d just blaze up and enjoy their nicotine rush.
One thing I like to do, as a horror writer, is imagine my vice(s) morphed into something unbelievably foul. In a Conan comic, the Barbarian offers a wineskin to a svelte young girl.
It tastes like furniture polish!” She spits.
“It is furniture polish.” He tells her.
Good enough for me. I imagine everyone else around me drinking furniture polish…even though they’re $12 shots of Schmagermeister or whatever…and my urge to join in their fun wavers just a bit.
In many programs, alcoholics are counseled to think through a drink. Yes, there’s the immediate grati
fication of the effect…but what might happen afterwards? A car crash, a fight, a lost job, a ruined relationship? Without thinking of the consequences, “just one drink” seems wholly innocent and inviting.
(One possibly helpful mantra to keep in mind is: “Been there, done that”. You’ve already tried hash or coke or poppers or speedballs or ecstasy; you’ve received the effect, you know what it’s like, you’re not missing out on anything. You generally don’t get bonuses from their use, like “Smoke this crack pipe—WIN A NEW CAR!” Just tell yourself “Been there, done that; boring, boring, boring.”)
When all else fails:
7. Take it out of the equation.
One sure-fire, albeit temporary, solution is to take your particular vice out of the equation: not only stop using whatever it is, but cut off all access to it. Are you living in Heroin Central? Take a bus to Anchorage and shell some crabs in a decidedly non-heroin environment for a bit. Does your drinking light come on at five o’clock every afternoon? Switch to night shifts where you’ll have to be sober until after the bars close. Does the girl of your dreams smoke like a chimney? Tell her you’ll have to be cyber-buddies from now on. Do whatever you have to, but simply don’t use. Don’t give yourself any opportunities to use, either.
The act of bailing out of a vice-ridden area or situation, into one where that vice isn’t available is often called a Geographic Cure, and is said by experts not to work.
I beg to differ: I daresay it will work, albeit temporarily, in that you cannot use something you can’t get. A six-month cruise-ship assignment might not necessarily cure you from using crack, but it ought to stop you from using crack, seeing as you can’t score any while aboard the cruise ship. Yeah, your addiction will bitch and moan like an unpaid whore, but your psyche and body will have some much-needed time to adjust to life without your vice (for example, our amazing livers only require six weeks to totally purge themselves).
8. Seek & Destroy The REASON.
If you’re constantly getting bombed out of your skull, but not for the sheer joy of constantly getting bombed out of your skull, there’s probably an underlying Reason for it. Take a moment, go down memory lane and hunt down that Reason. Childhood Trauma, Repressed memories, Boredom, Loneliness, whatever it is…Call it your personal Pink Elephant. There it is, blocking your happiness with its big pink ass in the way. Now, look at your personal Pink Elephant in a new way…like, down the barrel of a Pink F**king Elephant Gun.
Luckily there isn’t just one type of Elephant Gun. There are twelve-step programs, detoxification programs, psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, acupuncture, Homeopathic and Chinese medicine, Yoga and meditation…so if one ‘Gun’ doesn’t kill your Pink Elephant right away, don’t despair, just load a different one.
While you’re about it, check out any or all of the following.
(—“Beast Witches”, K.K./Ken Kupstis)
SUGGESTED READING
THE ALCOHOLISM AND ADDICTION CURE, by Chris Prentiss. This groundbreaking work fills in the gaps left by twelve-step programs; Chris and his son Pax have created a rehab center called Passages in Malibu, California, which has had an astounding 96% success rate! If you can’t get there, at least read this book.
SOBER AND STAYING THAT WAY, by Susan Powter. You might remember Susan as the “Stop the Insanity” Weight-loss Diva of the 90’s. This book gives you another glimpse into why Scotch is so nasty. Refreshingly, Powter informs the reader of the chemical and nutritional effects of alcohol and what’s needed to counteract them.
GET UP: A TWELVE-STEP RECOVERY GUIDE FOR FREAKS, MISFITS AND WEIRDOS, by Bucky Sinister. A punk-rock inspired San Francisco street poet, Mr. Sinister noticed a tragic amount of his fellow artists dying from drugs and alcohol, and thought he might be next. This offbeat memoir and guide was written with artists and other, err, ‘free thinkers’ in mind.
LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES, by Jed Diamond. One of the best-written (and only) works on the subject of sex addiction.
STUCK: WHY WE CAN’T (OR WON’T) MOVE ON, by Anneli Rufus. Not a self-help guide, but Rufus provides exhaustive research on why people remain in negative circumstances.
EIGHT WEEKS TO OPTIMUM HEALTH, by Dr. Andrew Weil. With this magical tome, you get optimum health in eight freakin’ weeks! What’s not to love?
THE RECOVERY BOOK, by Al J. Mooney, M.D., Arlene & Howard Eisenberg. “A clear, accurate and comprehensive source—for patients, their families, and helping professionals. I highly recommend it.”—Anthony B. Radcliff, M.D., President of the American Society of Addiction Medicine. Covers Recovery, family relationships, AA and other groups, making love, non-drug medical treatments, work and money issues, et. al.
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Bios Page:
Carson Buckingham has been a professional proofreader, editor, reporter, copywriter, technical writer, and comedy writer. Besides writing, she loves to read, garden, and collect autographed photographs of comedians she admires, as well as life masks of horror movie icons. Originally from Connecticut, she lives in The Great American Southwest with her wonderful husband Phil St. James in a house full of books and pets.
Nomar Knight is a published writer of short stories and poems. His short stories can be found in Suspense Magazine and Lit Fest Magazine. His horror poems can be found in SNM Horror Magazine. He has a horror blog called Knight Chills, which is known for bringing to light provocative discussions about supernatural and mystical occurrences. Much of his work has been featured in various newsletters on writing.com. He is currently working on a Supernatural Thriller novel titled, Darkness Roams www.knightchills.blogspot.com
A former Manhattanite, Carole Gill resides in England with her husband and two lunatic Parson Russell Terriers. In 2000 she was selected by North West Playwrights of England for further development but found she preferred fiction writing. Carole writes dark horror and sci-fi and is widely published in horror and sci-fi anthologies.
THE HOUSE ON BLACKSTONE MOOR is her first book and has just been published by Vamplit Publishing. It is available from Smashwords now and will be in paperback early in 2011.
Due to reader response, Carole is working on the sequel to be released later 2011!
Blog: http://demonvampirehorror.blogspot.com/
Website: http://carolegill.co.uk/
Scott Nicholson is author of 13 novels, including The Red Church and Speed Dating with the Dead. He's also created the comics Dirt and Grave Conditions and the children's book If I Were Your Monster. His website is www.hauntedcomputer.com.
Marissa Farrar is a multi-published author. She was born in Devon, England, and now resides outside of London with her husband and two children.
Marissa’s debut novel, Alone, is a dark twist on the traditional vampire-romance and her second novel, The Dark Road, was published in November 2010. Her short stories have been accepted for a number of anthologies.
If you want to know more about Marissa, please visit her website at www.marissa-farrar.blogspot.com.
Former teacher Ken Goldman, an affiliate member of the Horror Writers Association, has homes on the Main Line in Pennsylvania and at the Jersey shore. His stories appear in over 565 independent press publications in the U.S., Canada, the UK, and Australia with over twenty due for publication in 2011. He has written two books, "You Had Me At ARRGH!! (Sam's Dot Publishers) and "Desiree" (Damnation Books).
Scott M. Goriscak – Wrote first collection of horror “Grim and Ghastly” in 2008. I followed up with a second short story collection “Dead and Decaying” in 2009. Also in 2009 my short story “Home Sweet Home” was selected for the 2010 "Masters of Horror Anthology. I am now in the final edits for my third collection of horror shorts entitled “Field of Shrieks” and completing my first novel “The New Jersey Devil”.
Keith Gouveia lives in Florida with his wife, Lisa. He is a mechanical engineer by trade and writes fiction in his spare time. He has had work accepted for publication in numerous forth coming anthologies and if you’re lo
oking for something frightening, he recommends his zombie novella, Death Puppet: Revolt of the Dead or his collection of werewolf tales Animal Behavior And Other Tales Of Lycanthropy, or his newest release, The Black Cat and The Ghoul co-written with Edgar Allan Poe published by Coscom Entertainment.
John Shirley's books include the novels Demons, Crawlers, City Come A-Walkin' , Cellars, Wetbones. and In Darkness Waiting; his story collections include Black Butterflies (which won the Bram Stoker award), and the forthcoming In Extremis: The Most Extreme Short Stories of John Shirley. He was co-screenwriter of the film The Crow, and has written for television. His newest novels are Black Glass from ESP, and Bleak History from Simon and Schuster. His next is Everything is Broken from Prime Books.
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