CHAPTER SEVEN
IT WAS almost dawn when Adam drove Lowri back to St John’s Wood.
‘I’m glad it’s so late,’ she said drowsily. ‘I don’t want to run into Sarah or Rupert—or anyone in the world tonight.’
Adam ran a caressing hand over her thigh. ‘Why not?’
‘Because I rather fancy that what’s happened is writ large in my face, Adam Hawkridge. One look at me and Sarah will know how I spent a shamefully major part of my Sunday.’
He gave her a questioning, sidelong glance. ‘Regrets, Lowri?’
She thought about it for a moment. ‘Theoretically I should have some, I suppose. But I don’t. At least I now know what all the fuss is about. I didn’t know it could be like that.’
‘Neither did I.’ He smiled wryly at the disbelieving look she turned on him. ‘It’s God’s truth, Lowri. I’ve made love to a lot of women. I admit it. But until today I thought of lovemaking as—well as a sort of appetite, like eating your dinner, or enjoying a fine wine. With you it was different. Surely you realised that?’
‘It was certainly different for me,’ she agreed. ‘But my former brush with the subject was a disaster, so almost anything halfway pleasant would have been better.’
‘Thanks a lot!’ His hand tightened cruelly on her knee. ‘Who was he?’
‘No point in telling you. You wouldn’t know him. And the whole affair finished before it started, almost, when I found out he was married.’
Adam brought the car to a halt near the gate in the Clares’ garden wall. ‘I’m coming in,’ he said brusquely, as he helped her out.
Lowri gave him a startled glance, and without a word unlocked the gate and ran ahead of him up the stairs to her flat. Once inside he took her in his arms and kissed her, and went on kissing her until their hearts were pounding.
‘I know it’s illogical,’ he said through his teeth, ‘but after what happened today I can’t stand the thought of other men, past or present. I won’t share, Lowri.’
‘Does that work both ways?’ she demanded.
‘Of course it does,’ he said roughly. ‘Rules of the game.’ His eyes darkened. ‘What the hell is it about you? I want you again, right now.’
Lowri stared at him, her breathing quickening. Colour flooded her face as he caught her to him and began kissing her again, all over her face and down her neck until she pushed him away with shaking hands. ‘Adam, I need breathing space. This is all a bit—sudden.’
‘Sudden!’ He gave a bark of laughter. ‘I gave you due warning days ago.’
Her eyes locked with his. ‘So was lunch at your place part of an overall plan for what happened?’
Adam’s eyes gleamed irrepressibly. ‘Of course it was. Thoughts of taking you to bed were keeping me awake at night.’
Lowri’s eyes softened at his honesty. ‘I confess to the odd girlish fantasy on the subject myself.’ She smiled a little. ‘Not that any of them were a patch on the reality. It’s easy to see why all the girls are mad about you.’
He seized her shoulders and shook her. ‘Don’t cheapen it, Lowri. It’s never been like that with anyone else. Nor do I know why it is with you. You’re not conventionally pretty or a sensational shape—’
‘Like the others,’ she snapped.
‘Will you stop banging on about the others? Just believe me when I say that our experience together was a rare and beautiful thing. For me, anyway,’ he added roughly, and pushed her away.
Lowri pulled him back, sliding her arms round his neck. ‘It was for me too—and you know it.’
Adam kissed her long and hard, then released her with reluctance. ‘Time I let you go to bed,’ he said, touching a hand to her cheek.
‘I probably won’t sleep.’ She gave him a halfembarrassed little smile. ‘I’ve spent too much time in bed today already!’
Sleep soon came last on Lowri’s list of priorities, since Adam demanded they spend every possible moment they could together, making no secret of the fact that once he was in charge at the firm his time would no longer be his own.
‘We’ll still see each other as much as I can manage,’ he assured her, ‘but it might have to be just weekends for a while until I settle into the new job. But until then,’ he said, smiling in a way which made her heart turn over, ‘I want to see as much of you as I can, starting right now.’
‘Which means get your clothes off and come to bed, I suppose,’ said Lowri cheekily, then gave a squeak as he yanked her into his arms and slid down the zip of her dress almost in one movement.
‘I’m more than willing to do it for you,’ he assured her as they fell, laughing together, on his wide, welcoming bed.
Sarah and Rupert were worried, Lowri knew, but refrained from interference with a tact she deeply appreciated. She told Sarah so when her cousin came up to the office one morning with a covered dish of pasta for Lowri’s lunch.
‘Whatever it is you do with Adam, it can’t include food much,’ said Sarah bluntly. ‘You’re losing weight, and you’re all eyes. Can’t you sleep?’
‘Oh, yes, when I get the chance—’ Lowri stopped dead, blushing vividly.
Sarah sighed. ‘Go on, eat this up while it’s hot. I’ll make us some coffee.’ She came back with two mugs and perched on the arm of the sofa, eyeing Lowri while she ate.
‘You couldn’t hold out, then.’
‘No.’ Lowri met her cousin’s beautiful eyes squarely. ‘As must be perfectly obvious.’
‘Since you mention it, cariad, yes, it is.’ Sarah hesitated. ‘Does your father know?’
‘I told him I’ve got a boyfriend.’
‘Is that how you think of Adam?’
Lowri smiled wryly. ‘I don’t think Dad would appreciate being told I’ve got a lover. It’s such an emotive sort of word.’
‘But pretty apt, just the same. You’re head over heels in love, aren’t you?’
‘You know I am. I have been from the moment I first laid eyes on Adam, if we’re into truth here.’
‘In that case it’s a miracle you held out so long!’ Sarah examined her fingernails intently. ‘How does he feel about you?’
Lowri hesitated. ‘It never ceases to amaze me that he wants to take me to bed the minute we’re together, if that’s what you’re asking. And even out of bed we enjoy each other’s company. Adam’s a lot of fun to be with. But beyond that your guess is as good as mine.’
‘Rupert’s making noises like an anxious parent, you know.’
‘That’s very sweet of him. But tell him not to worry. I went into this with my eyes wide open.’
Sarah got up to go. ‘Just remember we’re here if you want us. Any time at all.’
Lowri smiled. ‘Thanks Sarah. By the way, Adam suggests we take Emily and Dominic over to his place on Saturday morning for a swim in the pool, then out somewhere for lunch.’
‘Which means straight to the nearest burger bar, of course.’ Sarah looked pleased. ‘It’s very good of Adam— in the circumstances I’m surprised he can spare the time!’
Then to her dismay Lowri caught a stomach bug and had to spend a couple of days in bed, precious time she begrudged away from Adam. Marooned in her bedroom, feeling wretched both from the malaise and the antibiotics she was given to cure it, Lowri had more cause than ever to feel grateful to Sarah, who looked after her without fussing, and kept Rupert and the children away until the patient was on the mend.
Adam was refused admittance until Lowri felt confident she’d stopped throwing up, but he came to see her the moment he was allowed, complete with flowers and books, and adamant she needed a breath of country air to complete the cure.
‘My parents own a cottage a few miles from Hereford,’ he told her. ‘I’ll drive you down there this weekend for some peace and quiet far from the madding crowd.’ He sat on the edge of the bed, smiling into her eyes. ‘I’m suffering too. It’s a hell of a long time since I held you in my arms.’
‘You can’t want to the way I look now,’ she said
, slight colour tinging her face.
‘Wrong!’ And to illustrate his point Adam drew her up against him gently, and kissed her at length. ‘I’ll come for you on Friday afternoon.’
Lowri recovered as quickly as she’d succumbed. Probably, she told herself, because the prospect of a weekend away with Adam was a more effective cure than all the pills she’d swallowed.
The cottage was a long way from anywhere, reached by an unadopted road which led up past a few isolated houses to a common which stretched for miles with no sign of human habitation.
‘Nothing to disturb us here,’ said Adam, as he led the way down a steep garden to a cottage with glorious views across a valley from its front windows. ‘Peter and I loved it here. He was a lot older than me, but he let me go with him to roam over the common, go shooting for rabbits, pick hops, too, in September. And sometimes we’d sneak out at night and lie low in the garden for hours for a glimpse of the local badger family.’
Lowri gazed at the view with a rapturous sigh, then held out her arms to Adam. ‘It’s utterly perfect. Thank you for bringing me here.’
He hugged her close, kissed her, then put her away from him firmly. ‘Supper first, then an early night. You must be tired.’
Lowri smiled invitingly. ‘I’m not in the least tired, but the early night sounds good.’
‘If you smile at me like that it’ll be earlier than you think,’ he warned, grinning. ‘Come and help me put supper.’
Later, as they lay together in bed, tired at last after lovemaking all the more impassioned after the period of abstinence, she marvelled at the sheer quiet of the place after London, and stared wistfully into the darkness which was so much more intense here, far away from any city lights. This was such a perfect place for a honeymoon. She knew beyond all doubt that she wanted to belong to Adam for the rest of her life, but if he felt the same way he never said so. He made love to her as though she were food and he starved for her, talked to her on every subject under the sun, and laughed and teased and paid her extravagant compliments. But he never said a word about love. Lowri curved her body closer to his, making a fierce, silent vow to convince Adam once and for all that marriage was their mutual destiny.
Lowri got her wish, but, like the one granted by the monkey’s paw, it was in the last form she wanted. After a couple of weeks’ panic Lowri secretly bought herself a pregnancy testing kit, got in an even worse panic at the result, and felt sick with apprehension as she went to meet Adam at the flat one Friday night. When he let her in he looked drawn and haggard himself, with dark smudges beneath his eyes, and for once looked every one of the years she teased him about so often. For a moment she was tempted to keep quiet, to wait for another more propitious time. But, afraid there’d never be one, she blurted out the news the moment he’d closed the door behind him.
‘You’re what!’ said Adam, his eyes narrowed to appalled slits.
‘I’m pregnant,’ she repeated baldly.
‘How?’
‘In the usual way, Adam. With your help,’ she added, feeling cold.
He flung away to pace round the room like a caged tiger. ‘I suppose you forgot to take your Pill,’ he threw at her.
‘I did not!’ Her eyes flashed. ‘I take it religiously, always. But I had a stomach bug, remember. I took antibiotics, and the Pill didn’t work this time. It’s not infallible.’
Adam stared at her in brooding silence for so long Lowri shivered, despite the warmth of the evening. ‘Are you telling me the truth, Lowri?’ he said slowly at last. ‘Or did you by any chance engineer this little “accident” deliberately, to trap me?’
Lowri’s heart gave a sickening thump against her ribs. The silence in the room lengthened again cruelly before she said in a flat, wooden voice, ‘No. I didn’t do that. I’d better go.’ She turned away to pick up her overnight bag.
‘Don’t be so stupid,’ he said brusquely, looking more like a grim stranger than the rakish, laughing Adam she’d fallen in love with. ‘We’ve got some sorting out to do.’
Lowri shook her head, her face blank. ‘No. We haven’t. You’ve just made it patently clear I’m to blame. In which case any sorting out is my business, none of yours.’ She made for the door without a backward glance, but his hand came down hard on her shoulder before she reached it.
‘Lowri, wait.’ Adam’s tone was slightly more conciliatory. ‘I suppose I shouldn’t have said that—but hell, surely you can appreciate the shock you gave me. Let’s talk things through, go over the options.’
‘Options?’ She gave him a look of such glacial distaste angry colour rose in Adam’s face.
‘Yes, options!’ he snapped, and forced her down into a chair.
‘If you’re about to give me the address of a nice private clinic, don’t bother,’ she flung up at him. ‘It might do for your other women, but not for me.’
‘None of my so-called “other women” ever put me in this position,’ he hurled back, his face white with anger.
‘It’s the first time for me, too! Do you think I’m enjoying this?’ She jumped up, but Adam shoved her back again ungently, then bit his lip, thrusting his hand through his hair.
‘Sorry—didn’t think.’
‘That makes two of us,’ snapped Lowri. ‘A bit more thought on my part and none of this would be happening.’
‘Don’t be stupid. It is happening, so something must be done about it,’ he said forcefully.
‘First,’ said Lowri coldly, ‘let me make two things very clear. I intend both to have the baby, and to keep it.’ She gestured at him regally. ‘Now you can have your say.’
Adam stared down at her, his eyes oddly blank. ‘I see. It’s ultimatum time.’ He shrugged. ‘All right. You leave me with no choice. We get married.’
‘Oh, please,’ she said scathingly. ‘Spare me the histrionics. Right from the beginning you made it clear that marriage and a family are the last things you want. Besides, shotgun weddings are a bit out of date, Adam. Please don’t trouble yourself. I’ll manage on my own.’
‘Who’s into histrionics now?’ Adam’s mouth tightened. ‘You’re being stupid again, Lowri. There’s nothing else for it. I’ll arrange a quiet wedding as quickly as possible —’
‘To hide my shame?’ she said derisively. ‘Get real, Adam. Times have changed.’
Adam’s jaw set. ‘It’s nothing like that. I meant that we have to get it done quickly before—before my time’s taken up with the changeover at Hawk Electronics.’
‘Ah, yes, Hawk Electronics—your real baby.’ Lowri stared blindly at her feet for a long time, her mind working at a furious rate. ‘Right,’ she said at last. ‘But with one proviso.’
He sighed irritably. ‘What now?’
‘We keep the entire thing, wedding included, secret until it’s done. Then to the world a quick, quiet wedding was just our rush to tie the knot before you take over the firm, as you said. But no word about the baby until absolutely necessary.’
Adam looked impatient. ‘It’s not a secret you can keep for long, Lowri.’
‘Long enough to give me—and you—a bit of breathing space; time to adjust to the idea,’ said Lowri firmly, and stood up. ‘Now I really must go.’
Adam’s eyes softened slightly for the first time since she’d broken the news. ‘Why? You look exhausted. Anyway, I thought you were staying tonight.’
She gave him a scathing look. ‘Bad idea, in the circumstances.’
‘I’ll sleep on the sofa out here, if you prefer,’ he offered.
Lowri stared at him, wondering why a man of his famed experience with women couldn’t tell that she yearned for him to take her to bed and hold her in his arms all night. The last thing in the world she needed was a night in his bed alone while he slept on his rotten sofa.
‘No, thanks. I’ll just ring for a cab—’
‘Don’t be stupid, I’ll drive you,’ he snapped angrily.
‘If you call me stupid once more I’ll hit you, so stop it!’ sh
e bit back, cut to pieces because he hadn’t insisted she stay.
‘I will when you stop talking like an idiot!’ He seized her arm to march her through the hall to the door. ‘I’m driving you home, whether you want me to or not.’
Afterwards Lowri could never look back on what followed without shuddering. From the moment she broke the unwelcome news Adam changed from a laughing, demanding lover into a humourless, businesslike stranger who condemned her insistence on utter secrecy as both juvenile and irritating.
‘Nevertheless I insist,’ Lowri said obdurately. ‘We can get it over with while your mother and father are away on their cruise.’
‘Your father’s not on a cruise,’ Adam pointed out curtly. ‘Won’t he think it a touch odd when you present me as a fait accompli after the deed is done?’
‘Dad’s very much taken up with his own affairs at the moment,’ said Lowri flatly. ‘Holly’s not too well. No point in adding to his worries.’
Adam eyed her morosely. ‘I trust you’ll tell him it wasn’t my idea when the time comes.’
‘Don’t worry, I’ll take the blame.’ Lowri smiled at him disdainfully. ‘I’ll make sure he knows none of this was your idea.’
Their relationship changed so completely it was hard sometimes for Lowri to remember Adam as someone she once had fun with, let alone as a demanding lover. To keep the change from Sarah and Rupert, Lowri asked Adam to avoid St John’s Wood for the time being.
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