And then she would despise herself for time wasted.
Cian had either finished placing his wards, or the mirror had reclaimed him again. She knew because, a little while ago, she’d heard people out on the lawn, laughing and talking. She’d pushed aside the drapes to find diffident rays of late-afternoon sunlight trying to push through thick gray clouds and several castle maids standing about, hands on hips, eyes sparkling, flirting with a handful of well-muscled gardeners who were trimming hedges on the still-damp lawn.
She’d been startled to realize how late in the day it was. She’d passed most of it staring into space, trying to mull through thoughts hopelessly muddied by emotions, and decide if Cian was a callous bastard who’d just wanted to have sex before he [insert word she refused to say, even in her mind] or if he cared for her at all.
She could argue the case both ways.
You fit me here, woman, he’d said.
And when she remembered him saying those words, and the look on his face as he’d said them, she believed him.
Especially when she remembered it, coupled with the way he’d made love to her in front of the fire. And again later, in the shower. She could have sworn she’d felt a part of him bleeding into her through his hands, that he’d been cherishing every last cell of her being with his caresses.
Yet there was a cynical part of her that said a dying man after a millennia-old blood-vengeance might say just about anything to get: a) somewhere safe so he could have his vengeance; and b) hey, what about a little great sex along the way with the big-boobed babe?
Bottom line was, the big-boobed babe had finally realized that she wasn’t going to get anywhere sitting in her room alone, groping blindly through her thoughts.
So she decided to go find him, and grope blindly through his thoughts—assuming he would cooperate—and see what might come of it.
It ended up being far more than his thoughts she groped.
Cian stood in the library, near the fire, and finished plaiting the last of the braids into his hair.
He slipped the remaining tricolored bead around it, compressing the soft metal between his finger and thumb, molding it to the end. A sorcerer did not risk any other elements on his body when working dark alchemy. He gathered his arm cuffs from the mantel and refastened them around his wrists.
The warding was now complete, the castle grounds protected. There hadn’t been as many dead things in the soil as he’d expected, likely due to the lesser, ancient wards he’d discovered, and removed, before sowing his own.
Keltar soil was clean earth, strong and potent. His wards had intensified that potency to a nearly palpable degree. Indeed, as he’d walked over it, returning to the castle proper, he’d felt the power of his wards humming beneath his heels.
None of Lucan’s sorcery would be of any avail to him on the castle-proper portion of the estate now.
Upon completing his task, he’d washed up and hurried to the library to advise his descendants that the job was done. He’d found the twins and their wives cozied up to a crackling fire.
There was not a single place he could look in the book-lined room that did not bring to mind intoxicatingly sensual, carnal memories of his night with Jessica. Their bodies had come together with every bit of the explosive passion he’d known they would.
The entire time he’d been laying wards, he’d kept his thoughts tightly focused on the task at hand. But now they burst free of his tight rein and turned hungrily, desperately to his woman.
“How is she?” he asked.
It was Gwen who answered. “Furious. Hurt.”
“And hurt. And furious,” Chloe added.
“What did you expect?” Drustan said stiffly. “You seduce her and doona tell her you’re dying? Have you no honor, kinsman?”
Cian said nothing. He’d not explain himself to Drustan, nor to any man. Only one woman’s opinion of him mattered, and even that wouldn’t have stopped him. He’d done what he’d done and didn’t wish it undone. Undone, he’d not have gotten his night. And though Jessica may think him a thousand kinds of bastard, he would have another night with her, and another still.
As many nights as he could beg, borrow, or steal from her until he was naught but dust blowing on a dark Scots wind.
“Where is she?” The mirror still hadn’t reclaimed him. It had been imperative he lay the warding, but now that ’twas done, he wasn’t about to fritter away another precious moment of his time free of the glass.
As Gwen opened her mouth to reply, the library door eased open and Jessica poked her head in.
Her broody jade gaze fixed on Gwen. She didn’t see Cian at first.
Faded blue jeans cased those sexy legs that had so recently been wrapped around his ass, her ankles locked in the small of his back, while he’d pounded into her. They hugged low on her hips, revealing the creamy sun-kissed skin of her belly, upon which he’d spilled drops of his seed. A soft, dainty, lacy-woven pale green sweater was buttoned over her heavy, round breasts.
It seemed an eternity since he’d touched her.
“I was wondering where— Oh!” The words died on her tongue when she saw him. “There you are.”
Cian assessed her with the instincts of a hunter born for the kill. He’d slammed up against that sleek cool wall inside her skull so many times he no longer bothered trying to read her that way. He read her body instead.
So that was the way of it. The same way it was for him. Mindless, thoughtless need. It had her by the balls too. So to speak.
He devoured the space between them in a few aggressive strides.
Her eyes widened. She wet her lips and they parted—not in protest, but in instinctive preparation. Her eyes dilated, her legs moved slightly apart, her breasts lifted. Christ, he felt just the same way.
He saw her—he needed her.
He closed a hand on her shoulder, opened the door, backed her out into the corridor, and yanked the door shut behind them, dispensing with the MacKeltar with a single slam. Just like that, they ceased to exist.
There was only Jessica.
The corridor was long, high-ceilinged, lit by pale yellow wall torches and the fiery glow of a crimson sun sinking beyond tall mullioned windows. He backed her across the hall, pushing her up against the wall. He could feel the heat rolling off her, knew it was coming off him too. He could smell her arousal, could smell his own. What was between them was quite simply a force of nature.
As she hit stone, she gritted, with a little oomph of breath, “You son of a bitch!”
“You said that yesterday. I heard you then.” If he’d had enough time—like a lifetime—to do things differently, he’d never have given her a reason to call him such a thing. If only he’d met her when he’d been but a score of years, or nay, if they’d been betrothed at birth, grown up together, hand in hand in the Highlands, his life would have been so different. He would have been a deeply contented man, and on that snowy night Lucan had knocked, he’d have been in bed with his wife. With a babe or two nearby. A sorcerer’s spells and enchantments would have held no lure for him. Nothing would have, not beyond this woman. He would never have accompanied Trevayne to Ireland, would never have ridden beside him for Capscorth on a sweet spring day, only to usher in the night with the blood of an entire village on his hands.
“You ruthless bastard!”
“I know.” There was no denying it. What he’d done was wrong. He should have told her from the beginning. He should have given her the choice to decide whether she was willing to give any part of herself to a man condemned to die.
“You heartless prick!”
“Aye, woman. All that and more.” He’d known who she was all along. He’d known from the moment he’d first laid a hand on her, back there in the office of her university, when he’d swept her behind him to protect her from Roman.
He’d felt it right then, in the marrow of his bones.
That thing he’d waited so damned long to feel, that had never come. He’d thought
thirty years so unbearably long to wait. He’d never have imagined it might take him 1,133 more years to find her, and then he’d only get twenty days into which he’d have to cram a lifetime. Och, aye, he’d felt it that night. His hand had closed on her upper arm and his entire being had hissed a single, silent word.
Mine.
He’d blinded himself to the truth, all the while determinedly pursuing her, because if, at any moment, he’d admitted she was his one true mate, he might have wavered in his resolve. And he was a man who never wavered. He decided. He committed. He paid for what he purchased. For this sin, he had no doubt he would pay with his soul.
And consider it worth it.
“I can’t believe you lied to me!”
“I know.” Knowing she was his mate, knowing she would live on after him, and undoubtedly find a husband and make a family with some other man, he’d tried to burn himself into her, to conquer some small corner of her heart.
He was supposed to have been her man. He was supposed to have been the father of her children. Not some twenty-first-century asshole that would touch her breasts and kiss her soft mouth and fill her up and never be good enough for her.
Not that he was good enough for her. Still, it was supposed to have been him.
“I hate you for this!”
He flinched, hating those words. “I know.”
“So what the hell do you have to say for yourself?”
He clamped her face between his hands and stared into her eyes. “Fourteen days,” he hissed. “ ’Tis all I’ve left. What would you have of me? Apologies? Self-recrimination? You’ll get none.”
“Why?” she cried, tears springing to her eyes.
“Because I knew the moment I saw you,” he ground out savagely, her “I hate you” still ringing in his ears, “that in another life—a life where I didn’t become a dark sorcerer—you were my wife. I cherished you. I adored you. I loved you until the end of time, Jessica MacKeltar. But I doona get to have that life. So I’ll take you any fucking way I can get you. And I’ll not apologize for one moment of it.”
She went motionless in his arms. She stared up at him, her lovely green eyes wide. “Y-you l-loved me?”
He inhaled sharply. “Aye.” Staring down at her, something in him melted. “Och, lass,” he relented, “I will rue for all eternity every moment of suffering I’ve caused you. The entire time I’m burning in Hell, I’ll regret each tear I made you weep. But if Hell were the price for twenty days with you, I’d condemn myself again and again.”
She sagged back against the wall, her lashes fluttering down, her eyes closing.
He waited, watching her, committing every last cell of her face to his memory. From her tousled raven curls to her thick, dark lashes staining sooty crescents on her cheeks, glistening with a sheen of unshed tears, to her dainty, crooked nose to her luscious, soft lips to the stubborn thrust of her chin. He was going to die remembering it. He felt as if he’d been born already knowing her face. That he’d been watching, always waiting to see it coming at him from just around the next corner.
But it hadn’t come.
And he’d stopped believing in the Keltar legends of a true mate.
And he strayed into Dark Magycks.
“Mine,” he whispered fiercely, looking down at her.
Her eyes fluttered open then. In their jade depths he saw pain, rawness, and grief, but he also saw understanding.
“You know what the sad thing is?” she said softly.
He shook his head.
“I think that if you’d told me the truth from the beginning, I’d just have slept with you sooner.”
He winced, as time-lost-never-to-be-regained sliced like a knife through his heart. Then he realized that she’d just granted him an absolution he could never deserve. She’d said, Even knowing, I would have anyway. Wee woman, heart of a warrior.
“So take me, Cian. Take me as many times as you can.” Her voice broke on the next words. “Because no matter how many times we get to have, it’s not going to be enough.”
“I know, love, I know,” he said roughly.
He wasted no more time. He took her. Cupping her face between his big hands, he kissed her, sliding his hot velvety tongue deep. Threading his fingers into her silky curls, he cradled her head delicately, tipping her at just the right angle.
Jessi melted against him. You were my wife, he’d said. I loved you until the end of time. Jessica MacKeltar, he’d called her, as if he really had married her in another life.
She’d wanted such words. She’d neither expected nor been prepared for them. The moment he’d said them, she’d realized that it would have been kinder if he’d not said them at all. If he’d let her think him a callous prick, let her hate him.
But his words would keep her from ever being able to hate him. They’d ripped her open, ruthlessly exposing her heart. Her anger had dropped away as if it had never been, leaving only a desperation akin to his: to have whatever she could have of him, for so long as she could have it. Because she felt it too. As if they were supposed to have made a direct hit, to have had a full, long, crazy, wild, passion-filled, child-strewn life together, but somehow they’d come at each other from the wrong angle, and missed what could have/would have/should have been.
If she thought about it, it would tear her into little pieces. She refused to drown in sorrow. She would drown instead in the exquisiteness of this moment. There would be time for grief later. Too much time. A freaking lifetime.
But now, her man was kissing her. Now, his powerful hands were hot on her bare skin, slipping beneath her sweater. Now, he was gripping her by the waist, and lifting her against him.
She wrapped her legs around him and locked her ankles behind his back, as he backed her into the wall, kissing her passionately.
She had now.
And she wasn’t going to waste a single precious moment of it.
Gwen smiled over her shoulder at Drustan as he followed her to the door.
Shortly after their ninth-century ancestor had risen without a word and stalked from the room with Jessi, Gwen had realized it was nearly dinnertime. And a good thing, too, as she’d completely forgotten lunch in all the fuss today and her stomach was growling hungrily.
But upon Cian’s departure, Dageus and Drustan had promptly gotten into a heated discussion about him. It had taken her a good ten minutes to regain their attention and propose they move their conversation to the dining room.
Now, opening the door, she began to step out into the corridor.
“Oh, my,” she said faintly.
She retreated right back into the library and gently closed the door. “Um, why don’t we just, um, stay here in the library for a little while. Who wants to play Pente?” she said brightly. “I’m not as hungry as I thought I was.” She turned and butted nose to ribs with Drustan.
He caught her by the shoulders. “Why, lass? Is aught amiss? What’s out there?” Drustan stepped back, staring down at her, perplexed.
“Nothing, nothing at all.”
He raised a dark, slanted brow. “Well, then, let’s be off—”
“Oh no, not just yet.” She beamed up at him. Backing herself flush to the door, she draped herself casually against it. “Let’s stay here. Another half hour or so should, be, er, just about right.” She blinked, looking uncertain. “I hope.”
Drustan cocked his head, studied her a moment, then began to reach behind her for the doorknob.
Gwen sighed. “Don’t, Drustan. We can’t leave just yet. Cian and Jessi are out there.”
“ ‘Out there’?” Drustan said blankly, stopping midreach. “So? Will we not fit past them in the corridor?”
“I’m sure we could if we tried. I’m not sure we’d want to,” Gwen said meaningfully.
He regarded her expectantly.
She tried again. “You know, they’re out there.”
Drustan continued to regard her expectantly.
“Oh, Gwen,” Chloe cooed excitedly, �
��do you mean out there?”
Gwen nodded.
“Ha!” Chloe exclaimed. “I knew that woman wasn’t stupid.”
“Wait a minute. They’re out there?” Dageus said disbelievingly. “The two of them are out there in the corridor? I put over a hundred rooms in this castle, and they’re bloody out there in the bloody corridor as if they couldn’t find a door to a chamber? ’Tis not as if I concealed them—there’s only one every few bloody paces or so. Is it so much effort to turn a doorknob?”
A muscle leapt in Drustan’s jaw, his eyes narrowed. “Lass, are you telling me that Cian and Jessica are tooping in that corridor? Is that why you closed that door?”
Blushing, she nodded.
“You saw this? Nay, that was a stupid question. Of course you did. What, exactly, did you see, lass?”
“Me? Oh, nothing.” She folded her arms over her chest and stared off at a point somewhere east of his elbow.
“Gwendolyn?” He crossed his arms and waited.
“Okay, so maybe I saw a little,” Gwen admitted, “but he has her up against the wall and all I saw was his butt, and I closed my eyes the minute I saw it.”
“You saw my ancestor’s arse?” Drustan said frostily. “His bare arse? Had the man any clothing on at all?” He began reaching past her again, for the doorknob.
She waved his hand away. “Oh, for heaven’s sake, Drustan, you saw him when he left. All he had on to begin with was his plaid. What do you think?”
Drustan’s nostrils flared. “I think the man’s a blethering savage.”
“Aye,” Dageus agreed.
“Oh, you two should talk,” Chloe said, laughing. “And Dageus, need I remind you of some of the places you and I—”
“Case argued and won, lass,” he said hastily.
“I hardly saw a thing,” Gwen assured Drustan. “It’s not like I held the door open and stared or anything, even though he is a MacKeltar.” She blinked. “And he certainly was every inch a MacK—” She broke off hastily, looking abashed, and feigned a sudden fascination with her cuticles. “What I meant was just that you MacKeltars are a fine-looking lot of men, Drustan, and he is related to you, actually, he precedes you in the gene pool, which might explain . . . Oh, dear, I should probably just shut up now, shouldn’t I?” She pressed her lips together.
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