When I didn’t respond, Orrean quietly asked, “Are you okay?” The concern in his voice was crystal clear.
I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling guilt wash over me. Guilt that I just wanted this… alien to hold me like he did in my dream and make me feel a little less alone. Guilt that I could even want another man to touch me so soon after Colt had… Fuck. I miss him. But I needed some comfort. Why should I feel guilty about that? Everyone needed some comfort sometimes, right? God, I just wanted Colt to hold me one last time. I wanted to bury my face in his chest and breathe him in. I wanted to… I took a deep breath, trying to wash away my thoughts before I went into a downward spiral of depression.
I startled when I felt a hand on my shoulder, on top of my sleeping bag, and my whole body tensed up. I felt the hand tense, too, but it didn’t release me. As I took another deep breath, I felt some of my tension leave me, and the hand squeezed my shoulder lightly. It was the comfort I sought, but it wasn’t enough.
I turned toward Orrean, and before I could chicken out or second-guess myself, I rolled into his chest and tucked my head into him. He tensed, probably in surprise, but it was barely a second before he wrapped his arms around me. We were both still in our sleeping bags, which made it hard to get close, but I could still feel his warmth seeping through. I took yet another deep breath, and wasn’t surprised to find a cinnamon scent filling my nose.
I moved closer, my arms tucked into my chest, and he shifted around, lifted my head and placed it down on his bicep. Part of me wanted to resist, wanted to move away from him, but another part, a stronger, larger part, wanted to stay and bask in the contentment that started to fill me.
Every night when dream-Orrean comforted me, I felt warm, content, at peace. But this, right here, right now, with the real Orrean holding me, well, this felt fucking incredible. Somehow his presence sent a calming vibe through my entire being. So I let him comfort me. I let him help me hold myself together when all I wanted to do was scream and cry for Colt and fall apart all over again.
Colt had told me to forgive Orrean, and to give him a chance. While I still didn’t really know what he had meant by that, I was willing to at least let him in a little and become friends. Good friends. Not just the kind of friends that travel together, but the kind of friends that stick together no matter what, the kind of friends that know you, maybe even know your soul a little, too.
I wasn’t sure how long we lay there. I had felt some kind of vibrating coming from Orrean’s chest, but I must have fallen back asleep before I could analyze it because I jolted awake when I heard my brother’s voice, “There’s ten Ferals coming this way.”
“Shit,” Orrean said above me.
I pulled back and he loosened his hold on me so I could look up at him. “Did you just curse?” I couldn’t help the smile forming on my lips.
He squeezed his lips together, then said, “Maybe.”
I laughed a little as I rolled away. “That’s awesome.” I sat up and looked over at him.
He sat up and started unzipping his sleeping bag. “Why is that?”
I shrugged as I started on my own sleeping bag. “Dunno. It’s just kinda funny. You’re starting to get really good at English.”
He snorted. “I didn’t say it in English.”
I looked him over. “You didn’t?”
He shook his head. “No, I said ‘recore.’ Do you know what that means?”
I shook my head, confused because I would’ve sworn he’d said ‘shit’ before and I hadn’t noticed him speaking Taoree. Every other time I had understood Taoree, I could still hear the strange language, I had just automatically known the translation.
“The closest meaning would be ‘shit,’ so I suppose I did curse.”
I know my eyes went wide, but I also knew we didn’t have time for this crap, so I waved him off. “Come on, they’re getting close.” I pointed at my family standing in front of the cave waiting for the oncoming attack.
We both jumped up and joined them just as the ten Ferals caught up to them. I immediately used my shoian on the closest one to me, and as I held it against the Feral, I used a wooden bat we had picked up to keep another one at bay. We made Mandy stay behind us, even though she had already had to use her shoian on a Feral a few days ago. It had been terrible watching a ten-year-old have to kill a woman with the weapon, but I had been so happy that she was okay—at least physically, anyway. Who knew what that kind of thing would do to her long-term?
She stayed back while Orrean, Cal, Nolan, Wes, and I each took out two Ferals. It was almost like we had it down to a science. It was such a normal part of our everyday lives that we didn’t even say anything about it when it was over. We just started packing up our supplies so we could move on—away from the bodies—before eating something.
After we ate breakfast, we continued our long journey. We still had a lot of walking left to reach the Independent Camp. Once we got wherever we were going, I figured all of us were going to sleep for a week straight. Or at least I hoped to, you know, as long as these Independents really were the good guys and didn’t want to kill us. I cringed at the thought.
“You alright?” my brother asked me as he walked beside me.
“Yeah,” I breathed out a sigh. “I just hope these Independent people really want to help us.”
“I don’t think Orrean’s lying about them,” he responded easily.
“No, it’s not that. I don’t think he’s lying… it’s just… I dunno. It’s just gonna be hard to trust anyone, you know?” I said, not really sure how to articulate what I meant.
He nodded. “I get it.” I watched him from the corner of my eye as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I just hope they have somewhere safe we can sleep. It would be nice to sleep a whole night through without having to keep watch.”
“My thoughts exactly,” I agreed.
“So, how long do think it’s gonna take us to get there?” Wes asked.
“Uh… I think Nolan and Orrean said about two more weeks,” I answered.
“Gotcha,” he replied as he rubbed his temple and tucked a long strand of hair behind his ear. All of us had crazy, long, and messy hair now. It was kind of ridiculous, but couldn’t be helped until we got to where we were going.
“I wonder if someone will be able to cut my hair when we get there,” I thought out loud.
He huffed out a small laugh. “I could probably do it if we had some scissors.”
I gave him a skeptical look. “I don’t want you anywhere near my hair with scissors.”
He pushed my shoulder. “I’ve cut hair before, dickhead.” He laughed a little, but it seemed strained.
“Oh yeah? Whose hair?”
“Just Damien’s,” he answered with a small shrug. Damien had been Wes’s best friend for years.
I pushed his shoulder lightly. “You shaved him bald!”
He laughed. “That was ‘cause he lost a bet. Before that I used to cut his hair.” He rubbed his temple again.
“Why the hell were you cutting his hair?” I flicked his shoulder.
He shrugged. “He needed a haircut and didn’t have any money. You know how his parents were.” He looked away from me then. I was about to ask him what he was thinking about, but he started talking again without looking at me, “He died. When I went out to get supplies one time, I ran over to his house to check on him since he was only a couple streets away. He and his brother were lying dead in their front yard.” He swallowed thickly.
I put my hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Wes.”
He shrugged, but I saw him press the heels of his hands into his eyes. I slid my arm over his shoulders and gave him a side hug as we walked. He only allowed it for about thirty seconds before he shrugged me off. His hands remained on his eyes, though, as he rubbed them. Then he slid his hands to his temple and started rubbing with his eyes squeezed shut.
He stopped walking and bent in half, groaning.
I stopped with my hand on his back, bend
ing over, trying to look at him. “Wes, what’s wrong?”
He groaned again, but didn’t say anything.
I looked around and saw that everyone had stopped to see what was going on.
I shook Wes’s shoulder. “What’s wrong, little bro? You need to tell me so I can help,” I sounded panicky to my own ears.
Wes fell to his knees, but finally tilted his head so he could look at me. “My head… gah,” he groaned again.
“Oh god… no… no…” I shook my head as realization dawned on me. Then I looked around and focused on Orrean who was already kneeling beside Wes. “You have to help him.”
“I’m trying,” Orrean said as he put his hands on Wes’s forehead. Orrean glanced at me. “Help me.”
I looked at him, completely at a loss for what I could possibly do in this situation.
“Put your hands over mine,” Orrean finally instructed.
I immediately listened, placing my hands on top of Orrean’s hands on Wes’s head. As my brother moaned in pain, I said, “Now what?”
“Now, just concentrate, emm Balu. Send your energy to Wesley,” Orrean said it like it was the most normal thing in the world to do.
I didn’t think I could do anything, but it was worth a try, so I closed my eyes and concentrated. I remembered how I had found my light in my dream when I was injured, so I figured I could see if that was real. I certainly healed quickly from that, so maybe there was something to this light business. I reached inside myself and was surprised by what I found there.
I could feel a warm… light, for lack of a better word, inside of me. I felt for it and when I tried to pull at it, it came willingly. I sent it out of myself, concentrating on sending it through my hands and into my brother. When Wes gasped, my eyes flew open.
Wes had his eyes closed, but he seemed to be breathing more easily now. I took a deep breath and continued sending my light into him. I glanced at Orrean and saw him concentrating in the same manner.
Orrean caught my eyes and my breath hitched. I could feel his energy pouring out of his hands underneath mine, and I couldn’t believe how normal it felt. His energy felt like something that had been around my entire life, yet it felt like I’d been missing it at the same time. I furrowed my brows at him and shook it off, returning my attention to my brother.
After a minute, Wesley opened his eyes and whispered, “I’m okay now.”
“You sure?” I asked, as I wanted to cry in relief and worry.
He nodded. “I’m okay… for now at least.”
I nodded and finally let go of him, even though I just wanted to pull him close and protect him from everything. I stood up, followed by Orrean, and we both helped Wes get back up to his feet. Cal, Nolan, and Mandy came over and hugged my brother; their worry was clear on each of their faces.
I looked over at Orrean and said, “We have to get to your Independent camp. I can’t let my brother turn into a Feral. We can’t let his Qiren activate. We have to get there now, Orr. I’ll never forgive you, I’ll never forgive myself if we don’t make it in time,” my voice had gotten quiet at the end.
“I know,” Orrean whispered with a sad look on his face. He turned away from me and my heart broke as he picked Mandy up and started carrying her off. With his back to me, with him walking away from me, I felt an overwhelming crushing sensation in my chest. It became hard to breathe. I had to take a minute to catch my breath while I rubbed my chest with the heel of my hand to try and soothe away the pain there.
“Orrean,” I called after him. He turned to look at me. “Why didn’t you let me help you with Colt?” I took a shuddered breath.
Orrean closed his eyes, but I could see the look of hurt and sorrow in them when he opened them to look at me. “The simplest explanation is that you can help Wes because you are a blood relative.”
“Then why couldn’t Cal help him?” I asked as I exchanged a look with Cal.
Orrean swallowed hard, then whispered, “Cal does not have the same connection with me as you do.” Then he turned and continued walking away, taking my breath with him.
It was hard not to let my sorrow and guilt overwhelm me. My chest hurt, my heart hurt, my soul hurt. I missed Colt with all my heart, and I felt guilty that a part of my soul felt like it was being ripped apart even further as Orrean walked away from me. I didn’t understand what the fuck was going on, and that alone was making all my emotions all jumbled.
When I could breathe a little easier, I grabbed my brother’s shoulders and pulled him along, with Cal and Nolan walking behind us. No one said a word for hours that day. We walked longer and faster than we normally would, but it didn’t feel like we were any closer to salvation.
I kept replaying everything that had happened that day, and when I remembered exactly what Orrean had said, I stopped walking. He called me emm Balu. Holy shit. He called me the same thing dream-Orrean called me. How was that even possible? I thought about it as I started walking again, and the only explanation I could think of was that I heard him say that in real life before and my mind just thrust it into my dream.
It was the only thing that made sense, and yet there was a large part of me that didn’t believe it to be true. Emm Balu. What the hell does that even mean?
By the time we stopped to eat dinner and go to bed, Wes’s headache had come back, and Orrean and I had to help him again. My body felt weak and tired as I went to sleep that night next to my little brother. As I lay there under the black tent, the only thing on my mind was that I couldn’t lose my brother. I wouldn’t survive it. My entire being had been broken when the Quiren took over my Colt. There was no way I could survive seeing my baby brother’s body succumb to the same fate. I didn’t want to let Wes out of sight, but my body started to surrender to the sleep pulling me under.
All I kept thinking as I finally let my dream take over was I have to save my brother.
***
End of Book 1
The story continues in
Book 2 of the Taoree Trilogy:
Independents
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Acknowledgements
As always, I’d like to thank my husband and our two boys. They have been a wonderful support system, and offer encouragement when I need it most. Dom, thank you for always putting up with my special brand of crazy, and listening when I need to talk out some plot twist or another, even if you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. Haha. I love you guys so much, and I’m beyond thankful to have you in my life. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I love you!
Next, I’d like to thank my friend, Mike Harrison. This book would literally still be sitting in a folder on my computer if it wasn’t for you. I’m so beyond grateful that you convinced me to let you read it. Lol. I love this story, I just didn’t think anyone else would, so thank you for that. You totally rock and I’m glad to count you as a friend! I’m surprised you haven’t run away after hearing all the crazy I blab about. Haha.
Courtney Bassett, I seriously have no idea how you have such a good eye for typos, and all those commas! Sigh, commas are not my friend, but I’m glad you are, and that you’re basically The Comma Queen! Lol. Thank you so very much for all of your help, and for all the encouragement. N
ot only did you help make this the best book it could be, you cheered me on, and for that, I’m eternally grateful. How many comma mistakes did I make in that paragraph? Lol ;)
Brittany Cournoyer, thank you for being the second person to read this one! I’m glad you no longer want to murder me for killing off your favorite character. Lol. Thank you for encouraging me to put this book out there. I’m so happy you enjoyed it, and I’m very grateful to call you a friend and that I have you cheering me on.
Tracey Soxie Weston, you know I love your work so much. The covers you come up with always blow me away! And this one is damn beautiful! Lydia Bird, I appreciate your proofing skills. Thank you for finding some of those pesky typos!
Kyleen Neuhold and Ashe Winters, you both are just so amazing. I’m grateful to call you my friends, and to be able to talk things out with you when the story (or the many characters) are being difficult. Thank you both for reading my stuff, and for always helping me out. Having author friends is freakingawesome! Lol
Thank you, Melinda James Ruetter, for always giving me your honest opinion, catching little things, and taking a chance on my crazy books! I appreciate all your help, and am eternally grateful to have you on my beta team. Bob Parker, you are an absolute joy to have as a beta reader. I’m so grateful for your opinions, and for your eye in catching typos. Thank you so much for your help. Shannan Arnold, I’m very lucky to have you on my team as well. You always catch things that others miss, and my books are better for it, so thank you. Kelly, I’m really glad to have met you, and that you wanted to read Taoree. Thank you for your insight! You’re awesome and I look forward to having you beta again!
Taoree: Taoree Trilogy #1 Page 27