She was actually trembling with hope now. ‘So, what are you saying?’
‘Flash can’t afford to lose you, Lula. Our audiences love you—the ratings for your show prove that—and we need you to stay to bring in the advertisers. I’ll have a monetary stake in the station but be hands-off in the running of it. I’ll get someone in to manage it so you won’t have to deal with me being your boss any more.’
He was giving up managing the station? ‘But you love working at Flash.’
The fierce expression in his eyes made her heart flip. ‘Actually, it’s more that I’ve enjoyed doing something that isn’t working for the family business. Thing is, I’ve been so focused on working there over the years I’ve let it take priority over everything else in my life.’
He leant his back against the sofa and stared up at the ceiling. ‘It was originally my mum’s family’s business—she met my dad when he started working for them—but when she died my dad lost interest in running it because of his obsession with finding a replacement for her and it got into financial trouble. Apparently Jez’s father helped him out of a hole by loaning him money, which is why he was so keen to keep Jez on at Flash—as a way to pay his friend back for the gesture.’
‘So that’s how he managed to get away with so much.’
Tristan raised an eyebrow. ‘Yeah. Anyway, I took up the reins at the family business once I’d graduated from Uni because my dad had let it get into trouble again and I couldn’t bear to see it fail. My mum would have been devastated. Her father worked so hard to build it up from the ground and I’ve been trying to keep it alive in memory of her. I felt like it was the only thing I had left of her.’
She had to fight against the tears she wanted to spill for him. ‘I bet she would have been proud of you.’
The sadness in his smile nearly broke her heart.
There was an uncomfortable pause where he seemed to be thinking about what she’d said.
He snapped the growing tension by swiping a hand in the air, as if trying to swat away the melancholy. ‘Anyway, I put myself under a lot of pressure to keep the business thriving and everything else in my life took a back seat. Like my relationship with Marcy. I never wanted to commit to her because that would have meant putting something other than the business first. That’s when my brother stepped in and offered her what she wanted.’ He frowned hard.
‘Do you think you’ll ever make up with him?’ she asked gently.
He turned to look at her, dropping the frown. ‘Actually, I already have. He’s going to take over managing the family business from now on.’ His smile was rueful this time. ‘It’ll do him good to take responsibility for something instead of letting everyone else carry him.’
Lula took a breath, steeling herself to ask the question that played heavily on her mind. ‘Are you still in love with Marcy?’
Tristan seemed to consider her question for a few moments, in which her heart hammered so hard against her chest she felt sure he’d be able to hear it.
‘I thought it was a good relationship at the time because we never seemed to argue, but the truth was, we weren’t around each other enough to have anything real to argue about. And if we did, I bought her things I thought she wanted—material possessions—to smooth things over. I gave her everything she ever asked for. Except my undivided attention and love.’
He huffed out a laugh. ‘She said I didn’t see her as a person, only a commodity. I didn’t understand what she meant until I met you. Until you forced me to think about you as an individual, instead of something to be bought off and placated. You made getting to know someone real for me, by making me care about you.’
* * *
The irrefutable look of hope on Lula’s face made him want to pull her against him and never let her go, but he needed to say more—to explain himself— before he got distracted by the urge to haul her off to bed and show her how much he cared.
He laid his hand on her leg, asking for a chance to say what he needed to without interruption and she nodded, encouraging him on.
His heart beat like a jackhammer against his chest as he gathered his courage.
‘When my dad got married again and I let myself love my new stepmother I felt as though I was being disloyal to my mum.’
He glanced at her and she nodded, the empathy in her eyes telling him she understood.
‘Then my stepmother left and I felt stupid for being so quick to let myself care about her. I missed my mum so much, and I’d wanted someone to fill the gaping hole she’d left, so I threw myself into caring for the first person that came along to bridge it. After it happened again I started disengaging my emotions from my stepmothers altogether.’
‘I can understand why you’d react like that.’
He squeezed her leg, knowing she really did get where he was coming from and loving her for it. ‘The worst thing, I realise now, was that I started to do it with my girlfriends too. It was a bad habit that I didn’t realise I had until you came along and pointed it out to me. Marcy hadn’t been able to penetrate my wall of emotional iron and gave up on me, but you made me think about how things were affecting you, first of all by forcing me to work hard to get you to take your job back. Then as soon as I’d begun to think about you as a real person, instead of just a faceless employee, you worked your way under my skin. As I got to know and like you I fell for you more and more and it scared the crap out of me.’
‘I can’t imagine you being afraid of anything. You’re so self-possessed.’
He raised a brow. ‘Not so much. Hence all the controlling behaviour recently. I was trying to find a way to get on top of this fear you’d triggered.’
Her eyes were wide. ‘I never meant to make you feel like that. I know I can be a bit challenging.’
‘I needed you to challenge me. Thing is, I’ve always cushioned my life with money, which gave me a sense of protection and safety, but it never made me happy. In fact it only made me more protective and less open to taking risks, especially with my relationships. I’ve spent most of my life using money to smooth my way through things, but you’re the one thing I couldn’t buy and that totally messed with my head. In a good way.’
She snorted and looked down at where his hand still lay hot and heavy on her leg. ‘I thought I’d scared you off for good by practically demanding we get married.’
‘It wasn’t the marriage thing that scared me, that was an excuse, it was the sentiment behind it—the act of giving myself completely to someone else that I struggled with. Because when I promise something, I don’t go back on my word. It’s for ever, and for ever is a long time to be with someone if you’re not sure about them, especially if you have children relying on you to get it right. I don’t want my kids to go through the hell of losing parent after parent like I did. It’s not fair.’
‘My thoughts exactly.’ She was nodding hard, her eyes lit up with hope.
He knew he had to be with her, even if it meant giving up his tight control on life. In fact, he wanted to let go for her. To experience new things that both scared and excited him—as long as she was along for the ride. He wanted to do it all with her.
He’d never been able to picture himself with Marcy long-term, but he realised he couldn’t imagine himself without Lula now. Just the thought of it made his chest contract painfully.
‘To answer your question, I’m not in love with Marcy. But I am in love with you.’
Her gaze slid away from his and he could feel her trembling under his touch.
He balked as he realised she wasn’t giving him the joyful response he was hoping for.
‘Lula? What’s wrong?’
Her eyes were full of fear when she looked back at him. ‘I’m sacred that you don’t really know me, Tristan. You only know the Tallulah I’ve been showing you and when you get to know the real me you’ll be
disappointed.’
He frowned hard and moved closer to her, to reassure her that wasn’t the case. Couldn’t be. ‘What you’ve shown me is you, Lula. I know you think you’ve been pretending to be something you think everyone wants, but you couldn’t have been that person if it wasn’t in you to begin with—the sparky, funny, quirky you that you keep hidden until you trust someone.’
He put a hand on her cheek and tipped her face so she had to keep looking him in the eye. ‘That’s one of the things I love about you—that you have a secret side that you only let certain people see. I think, without you realising, you’ve already let me be one of those people. When we first met, Louise was the mask that let you be yourself. You showed me the truth when you were pretending to be her because you could blame any shortcoming on her. You could hide behind her faults, rather than your own. It’s a classic deflection technique. I’ve seen every side of you, Lula, and I love them all. I’m not going anywhere.’
‘Really?’ she said, clearly trying not to cry.
‘Yes, really.’ He smiled and brushed a rogue tear away from under her eye. ‘You know, I think I’m finally beginning to understand my father’s addiction to falling in love. The first flush is like the most intense happiness drug. But, unlike my father it’s not the be-all and end-all for me. I want to grow to love you in all the ways possible, even when we’re angry with each other. I can’t imagine ever wanting to be without you.’
She took a deep shaky breath. ‘Me neither because I love you too.’ She was telling the truth, he could see the certainty in her eyes.
The great weight of fear lifted as he heard her say those words.
‘Then don’t go to Australia. Stay here and marry me. Flash will be our station. I’ll make you a shareholder. We’ll hire the candidate you liked to manage it day to day but we’ll both have an equal say in how it’s run.’
She stared at him in shock. ‘You’re asking me to marry you?’
‘Yes.’
She frowned. ‘But we’ve only known each other for a month.’
‘Doesn’t matter. It’s what I want. You’re what I want.’
‘I can’t believe you’d do that for me.’ Her voice wobbled with emotion.
‘For us.’
She shook her head and moved away from where his hand rested on her cheek, drawing herself up straight. ‘We don’t have to get married. Just the fact you’ve asked me to, because you think it would make me happy is enough. I know being married doesn’t necessarily mean we’ll be together for ever, but I needed to know you were prepared to make a promise that cost you something to say. I believe that you love me. And I love you. That’s enough for me.’
‘Well, let’s keep it as an open discussion. We don’t have to decide anything right now. I just want to be with you, Lula. And I want you to always feel that you can talk to me, even when we’re angry with each other.’
He cupped her face again and stroked his thumb across her soft, full lips. ‘Please don’t think you have to withdraw into your own head again, it would kill me to think I’d made you do that.’
This time she gave him a genuine smile and he knew it was going to be okay. They’d make it work, because it was what they both wanted.
‘Okay. I promise,’ she said, leaning forward to kiss him gently. ‘No more silence.’
EPILOGUE
One year later
Lula had just wrapped up her breakfast show and handed over the reins to the next presenter when her Broadcast Assistant buzzed through to let her know that Tristan was on the phone for her.
She picked up the line in the studio, already smiling at the thought of hearing his voice. He’d nearly made her late again that morning by dragging her back into bed after her shower and she was still buzzing, and a little sore—in the best way possible—from his intensive attention.
‘Hello, beautiful, great show,’ he said, the sound of his voice sending waves of lustful need straight to those still aching parts of her.
‘Thank you. How come you were listening? I thought you had a meeting with your new programmer this morning?’
Tristan’s new educational open source software enterprise had gone from strength to strength since he’d set it up a year ago and it was unusual for him to take a working morning off.
‘Grab your stuff and come and meet me outside. Don’t worry, I’ve cleared it with Caitlin, she knows I’ve got plans for you today.’
A zing of excitement travelled up her spine. ‘What plans?’
‘You’ll see. Just get your sexy arse out here asap.’
When she emerged into the cool spring air she found him leaning against their car with his arms folded across his broad chest and a wide smile on his handsome face.
‘Where are we going?’ she asked, desperate to know what he had in store for her. She loved the surprises he cooked up—he had a real knack for knowing exactly what she’d enjoy.
That was one of the things she loved most about him, that he got her.
‘We’re celebrating your Best New Breakfast Radio Show Presenter nomination by going on a road trip. I’ve booked a room at the Burgh Island Hotel in Devon for tonight.’
‘Ooh, I’ve always wanted to stay there!’ she said, the buzz of excitement making her voice squeaky.
He smiled. ‘I know.’
* * *
Four hours later they had their trouser legs rolled up to their knees and were wading through the cold, shallow seawater between the mainland and Burgh Island.
‘We could have taken the tractor across with the luggage,’ Tristan said, smirking as he caught her frowning at the icy cold water.
‘No, no, I wanted to walk,’ she said, teeth chattering, batting away his amusement. ‘It’s good for the health to get your feet in the cold sea.’ She drew in a deep lungful of the briny air and gave him an imperious look.
He raised an eyebrow and snorted. ‘You and your factual gobbledegook.’
Even though the sun was shining, the island wasn’t busy with tourists and it was so quiet the only sounds they could hear were the gentle lapping of the sea and the cries of the seagulls overhead.
Once they’d made it onto dry land and checked in at the opulent Art Deco hotel, Tristan led her over to the other side of the island so they could look out at the unbroken expanse of sea.
Lula took a deep breath as she gazed out at the endless blue-grey of the horizon. ‘It’s like being at the edge of the world,’ she said.
She turned to smile at him to find he was giving her such a loving look her heart nearly leapt out of her chest.
Before she could say anything else, he surprised her by dropping to his knee and pulling something that looked like a small, black box out of his pocket.
‘What are you doing?’ she asked, even though she knew.
She knew.
His gaze held hers steadily as he flipped open the box to reveal a square cut diamond ring. It was the most beautiful thing she’d seen in her life.
Words failed her and she began to shake with excitement as she stared at him.
Luckily, Tristan knew exactly what to say.
‘I wanted to do this away from the distractions of the city, where it could just be the two of us. Alone together. I love you, Lula, and I want to spend the rest of my life getting to love you a bit more each day. Will you marry me?’
Tears filled her eyes as she experienced the most exquisite sense of peace and serenity. This is how it was meant to be, being here with him on equal terms, being sure, being happy.
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘I will.’
* * * * *
Keep reading for an excerpt from NINE MONTH COUNTDOWN by Leah Ashton
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ONE
It had started exactly eleven steps down the aisle.
Ivy knew this, because she’d been counting.
Step, together one. Step, together two.
Generally the counting happened when she could feel the famous Molyneux temper bubbling away inside her. Or on the rare occasions she was nervous—although she couldn’t remember the last time that had been. But today, it was neither of those things. The bride—her sister April—was the one who should be feeling anxious. Marriage wasn’t something Ivy could see herself doing any time soon. She dated, occasionally, but never anything serious. Right now, her focus was on her work, and the family business, and everything else took a back seat. Because in Ivy’s experience relationships had an irritating habit of leaching into everything. And when it came to her career, well—anything that could damage that was just not acceptable.
But anyway... She’d been walking down the aisle, happily aware that the crowd seated in rows of white wooden chairs were peering around her for a glimpse of the bride, when she’d felt it. At exactly step eleven.
Someone wasn’t looking around her. Not at all. Someone was looking right at her, in a way that Ivy wouldn’t have thought possible. In a way that had weight.
And it was so strange, and so unexpected, that Ivy even stopped counting.
But she didn’t stop walking, and she didn’t shift her gaze from exactly where she was heading: the celebrant, a pretty wooden trellis temporarily constructed on the exclusive Nusa Dua beach, and the cerulean blue of the Indian Ocean beyond. Because today she was April’s chief bridesmaid, and she took any job that she was given seriously. Bridesmaid or Board Executive—it didn’t matter. Work was work, and Ivy always lived by the idea that you should never do anything if you weren’t going to do it right.
Fired by Her Fling Page 16