“I’m willing to stay with Tatiana, but I can’t communicate with her. I can’t fully sign with one hand.”
“That’s ok,” Reysa reassured him. “Her hearing aids are on so if you talk slowly, she can read your lips. Also, if you write in print, she should be able to read it. You really don’t have to worry about her. Her dinner is in the fridge. It just needs to be warmed and she can do that herself. She’s very independent and careful.”
Kaden did not feel comforted. He hadn’t spent time with a child since Julian was a kid and look how well that turned out.
Julian. He had not seen him since he woke. He would have been more surprised if his younger brother had been waiting by his bedside, but not seeing him was a familiar disappointment Kaden had grown accustomed to over the years. He had no one to blame but himself. Julian was probably having a drink celebrating Kaden’s plight. Who could blame Jules? Kaden had caused him considerable pain and “I’m sorry” would not take away the years of hurt.
Kaden wished he could undo his past mistakes, but what was done couldn't be undone. Not ever. Their relationship could have survived the fights, the sibling rivalry, the competition, but their bond could not survive Helena. That devil-in-heels permanently severed their relationship. She would always stand between them no matter how many years had passed. Julian could not forgive that betrayal and Kaden could not forgive himself.
He would spend the rest of his life pretending that Julian’s disdain did not matter, but his heart knew the truth. He missed his fratellino, his little brother.
“Julian was here all morning, but he left about an hour ago.”
Kaden stared at her in awe. It was like she knew what he was thinking. She always seemed to know just what he needed, except for now as she prepared to leave when his heart was pleading with her to stay. He couldn’t say the words.
“Well, it’s time for us to go.” Reysa walked over to Tatiana and hugged her tightly. She set her down and starting signing, “Peanut, I want you to be on your best behavior for Kaden. You take good care of him. If you have any problems, Lina is in her room. She’s grounded and can’t leave. You can also just use your necklace. Wish for me and I’ll come immediately.” Tatiana tugged at heart shaped golden charm around her neck. This was her beacon to her parents Diamonde made for her. With this charm, her parents could always find her no matter how far away she was from the safety of their arms.
Kaden caught the slight tremble in Reysa’s fingers as she signed those instructions to Tatiana. Suddenly, Reysa looked very worried as if it just fully had occurred to her that she was trusting her daughter with someone she shouldn’t. Kaden resented her doubt. She didn’t believe in him. He gave her no reason to, but her doubt stung. He wanted more than anything to prove to her he could be trusted. He would prove it to himself as well.
“We’ll be fine,” Kaden assured Reysa whose eyes darted nervously from his to Tatiana’s. He stood up and softly cupped her cheek in his left hand. “We’ll be fine,” he repeated. He reluctantly let her go and reached for a giggling Tatiana who he easily lifted with his left arm.
Christian embraced Tatiana as well and also gave her a list of warnings about Kaden. Finally they left and he realized that he was stuck in a house with a four-year-old girl. What the hell did I get myself into? He thought as Tatiana wiggled out of his arm and dragged him to her playroom.
II
I made you some cookies and brownies. We can eat them at my table during our tea party. Tatiana signed enthusiastically. Before Kaden could tell her she was out of her mind if she thought he was going to play tea party with her, she ran to her bedroom.
He was willing to play video games with her or to race some of her cars and trucks. Even with one hand, he could handle the Wii, but if she thought he was going to play girlie games with her, the kid was going to be very disappointed. She'd better learn now that one rarely ever gets what they want in life although it looked like that she was used to getting exactly what she wanted all the time. Not tonight though. Kaden was not her overindulgent father.
She returned dragging a chest that was almost larger than her. She opened it up and pulled out a fluffy white dress with some odd beading. It looked like one of those horrid outfits parents forced their kids to parade in during those child beauty pageants. Tatiana didn’t seem bothered by the idea of wearing that disastrous outfit. She quickly put it on over her jeans and dawned what resembled a diamond tiara. Kaden got a closer look and realized they were real diamonds. Good grief. This kid was spoiled rotten. No wonder she had a princess complex.
You can wear this. She pulled out a yellow and royal blue monstrosity and handed it to Kaden. He studied the costume like a scientist trying to analyze a new species. After careful consideration he deduced this was supposed to be a king costume.
“Are these tights?” he asked as he held the offending material far away from him.
Tatiana nodded in delight.
“You honestly expect me to wear this?”
Tatiana’s smiled started to fade as she nodded slowly.
“Kid, I’m going to say this real slowly so there’s no confusion. There is no way I would be caught dead in this. I don’t do costumes. I don’t do tea parties. I’m not going to do your hair, play with your dolls or watch princess movies. No girlie nonsense.”
Tatiana’s lips starts to tremble. She buried her face in her hands and ran to her room almost stumbling on the train of her dress.
“Good job asshole,” Kaden cursed himself. “Five minutes alone with the kid and she was already in tears.” He worried she was already summoning her mother to come rescue her from him. If he couldn’t prove to Reysa that she could trust him with the most precious thing in her life, then there would be no hope for them. Even though his mind constantly reminded him that Reysa was not for him, his heart refused to listen and his body had long since tuned out that unwanted message. He had to be with Reysa, but she wouldn’t have to be with him, especially if her kid hated him which she probably did at the moment.
Kaden did the unthinkable as he donned the king costume sans the tights. He would not concede that point. Real men didn't wear tights. He would have to convince Tatiana of that, but he would have the tea party she wanted even if he died from humiliation. As long as this sacrifice led to Reysa’s bed, it would be worth this brief period of mortification for the sake of making this child smile brightly again. The ends had better justify the means.
He knocked on her door and waited temporarily forgetting that she wouldn’t hear him knocking. He opted for barging into her room and hoping that wouldn’t scare her. Dealing with kids was too difficult. Leaving her with him was a grand mistake.
She was lying face down on the ground. Her face hidden under her arms. He touched her shoulder, but she shrugged free. “This was going well,” he bemoaned. It’s not like he could just start talking to her. She needed to face him. Losing patience, he decided to force her upright and hope that she wouldn’t scream.
He picked her up and pushed her arms down forcing her to see him. She looked ready to holler until she saw the king costume. “I guess I finally have your attention.” One look at those watery eyes and Kaden felt like a jerk. He tried to sign and speak the words he thought Tatiana needed to hear. “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I’m not good with kids. Let’s have the tea party. It will be fun.” Kaden was not good at apologies as evidenced by his lack of friends and broken familial relationships. He didn’t have a clue how to make amends with a ticked off kid.
It was easier than he realized at least in Tatiana’s case. Appeasement seemed to work. Just like that, she grabbed his hand and brought him to her tea room. Kaden was surrounded by pink. He was drowning in a pool of pepto bismol, dressed like the dude from the Burger King ads. At that moment, he wished he was still unconscious. The only positive was that no one was around to witness his humiliation. Much deserved humiliation, he admitted to himself. This was retribution for past sins no doubt. Payback truly was
a bitch.
Tatiana led him to her Disney Princess table set which featured four miniature thrones. She pointed for him to sit at one end. He looked at the chair which wasn’t big enough for his ass cheeks never mind all of his weight. “Kid, I can’t fit in that chair.” Her puzzled expression indicating she couldn’t follow his words this time. He repeated the words again slower and then her face brightened in recognition of his words.
You can fit. Daddy can fit and he’s big too.
“Your father dresses up and plays tea party with you?”
It took a few moments for Tatiana to understand and then she replied. Daddy plays tea party with me all the time. Sometimes he wears the king outfit or the wizard or the knight. I like it when Daddy wears the knight outfit. He has a sword and shield and he saves Mommy and me from the bad guys.
“Isn’t he special,” Kaden grumbled.
Daddy is strong and brave. He can beat all the bad guys and protect me. I have the best Daddy in the whole world.
“Lucky for you,” Kaden snapped as he rolled his jade eyes.
Do you have a good daddy?
Not quite. He couldn’t very well tell her that his father had been one of those bad guys her father pretended to kill. He couldn’t admit that he was the one who finally slayed the dragon that had been Daughton Gaspard. “No kid, my father was not like yours. You’re lucky to have a good one.”
I’m sorry. Tatiana hugged Kaden’s leg. I made you some cookies and brownies. Sit and I’ll go get it. That will make you feel better.
Nothing could make Kaden feel better when it came to his father. Killing him was the best thing he had done. He only wished he had done it sooner and saved his mother years of abuse at the bastard’s hands. He had been too afraid to face his father. Daughton played on his weakness and used his fears against him. All the times he would lock Kaden in that dark room, knowing the solitude of that confinement would drive his son to the brink of madness. Kaden would hear that dreaded laugh mocking him as he cried begging to be released. Daughton would pretend like he was going to set him free only to taunt him with hope before snatching it away again. When Kaden grew accustomed to that brutal game, Daughton found other ways to make him suffer. Eventually Kaden taught himself to become immune to his father’s torment so Daughton focused his attention on the one torture Kaden could not shield himself from—Olivia.
Daughton knew Olivia was Kaden’s greatest weakness. Tormenting Olivia would break Kaden. Kaden watched day after day, year after year his father breaking his mother’s will, her spirit. Kaden sat by too weak to stop it until that one day five years ago when his rage surpassed his fear and he finally destroyed the monster that haunted his days and nights his entire life. He burned him with all the power he had in him leaving nothing but ash.
As much as his father deserved that fate, there was that part of Kaden that struggled to accept that he killed his own father. Patricide. One of the worst crimes human or immortal could commit and he had done so in a blistering rage after seeing his mother bloodied and beaten from his father’s brutality.
Would Reysa understand his crime or would she condemn him the way most would? He knew Julian would never understand if he knew the truth. His brother hated him enough without knowing the truth behind their father’s death. Julian never saw the darkness that possessed their father. Daughton feigned the role of the doting father when Julian was present, but Kaden and Olivia knew the devil underneath the saintly disguise.
Kaden was so lost in thought that he did not notice Tatiana had returned with a miniature cart that contained a plate of chocolate chip cookies and cheesecake brownies along with a glass of divine smelling blood.
Mommy said you have to drink lots of this medicine and you will feel better. She handed Kaden the blood. No snacks until you drink all your medicine. That’s Mommy’s rule.
Kaden happily obliged as he guzzled the blood that instantly warmed him. This was not human blood. He had tasted this delight once before when Reysa had fed him her blood when he was locked in Lucian’s prison. Her blood was so different from the human blood he enjoyed. He had never fed from another vampire before. Vampires only drank directly from their vampire mates, but Reysa’s blood was different. It had healing powers that worked on most immortals including vampires. It was her blood that was helping to restore his mother’s health.
He savored every drop of the savory liquid. The only thing that could make it better would be to sink his fangs into Reysa’s skin and drink her blood while tasting her essence. The powerful combination of intoxicating flavors would drive him to an obsessive madness for her.
He felt Tatiana tugging his arm trying to get his attention. You can have a treat now. Cookie or brownie?
“Both,” Kaden responded as he grabbed one of each and shoved them both in his mouth. Enjoying the taste, he grabbed several more and swallowed them. He took one of each and put it on a plate for Tatiana and he quickly ate all the rest before she could object.
Tatiana’s silver eyes reflecting her confusion as she looked at her plate and then to Kaden who greedily ate all the brownies and cookies. Kaden caught her expression waiting for an eruption of tears, but the child surprised him. She tossed her head back and laughed. Her voice such a melodious sound that warmed Kaden’s heart.
Enjoying that musical sound, he wished that she could hear the beauty of her own voice. He wanted to ask her about it, but trying to shout slowly so she could read his lips would not work. He disappeared in a flash and returned a moment later with a notepad. Tatiana watched in wonder at how quickly he moved.
I bet your daddy can’t do that, he boasted to himself.
He might as well have said it out loud. Wow. You’re almost as fast as Daddy.
Damn. He really wanted to kill that mutt who was Mr. Perfect to this kid and probably Reysa as well.
Kaden started scribbling in the notepad and passed the pad to Tatiana who looked at it as if it were a foreign language. I only read English, she signed.
That was English. Kaden took the pad back and wrote again a bit neater. This time Tatiana understood. Sometimes it makes me sad. I wish I could hear Mommy and Daddy. I want to hear music. I want to be a dancer, but I can’t if I can’t hear the music. I wish my ears worked, but they don’t. Sometimes I get to hear a little. Auntie Lina lets me hear when I dream. I like the sounds. She takes me to the ocean to hear the waves or to the woods to hear the animals.
Lina was a rare dreamcatcher. She had the ability to enter a person’s dreams and manipulate them. At times, she could bring others into those dreams. It was that gift of hers that allowed Lucian to enter Olivia’s dream state and help her find her way back to life.
Mommy doesn’t like when Auntie Lina does that. She thinks it makes me sadder to hear a little and wake up to silence again.
Kaden agreed with Reysa. It was like tempting Tatiana with something she could never really have. Sometimes it was better to never know what you were missing.
Do you know Auntie Lina?
Kaden nodded.
She’s the best Aunt ever. Can I go visit her later? She got punished again and is stuck in her room.
Kaden wrote in the pad, “What did she do?”
She used her power on Uncle Alejandro again. She entered his dream without permission. Mommy told her not to use her power unless she has permission, but Auntie Lina didn’t listen. She likes to use her gift on Uncle Alejandro. He got really mad though and yelled at Auntie Lina. Uncle Alejandro never yells, but he yelled last night. Auntie Lina got really upset and Mommy got really upset. Now Auntie Lina is punished and Uncle Alejandro won’t talk to her.
Kaden was unexpectedly fascinated with this house drama. This was better than his favorite soap opera General Hospital.
Tatiana continued her tale. Kids would tell everything. She could be very useful, Kaden thought. This babysitting thing might not be so bad after all. Auntie Lina has a crush on Uncle Alejandro, but he doesn’t like her back. His wife died a long time a
go, like before I was born, and he says he doesn’t want a new girlfriend. He wants to be alone forever. Women are always chasing him, but he just runs from them. I wish he would marry someone and be happy, but he won’t get a girlfriend.
“Does your Daddy have a girlfriend?” Kaden scribbled.
NO! Tatiana signed emphatically.
Bad question. Kaden thought.
“Mommy?” he asked cautiously.
Mommy doesn’t have a girlfriend silly.
Kids were a wealth of information if you asked the right question the right way. “I meant boyfriend.”
She has lots of boyfriends. There’s Jacob, Ariel, Titus, Marcus, Rein, River…
Kaden put his hand up signaling Tatiana to stop. He started writing on the pad but pressed so hard that that pen went straight through before breaking into pieces.
Tatiana laughed that melodic laugh again but this time with a teasing glint in her eye. I’m just kidding.
“You little brat.” Kaden couldn’t help but admire this kid’s mischievous streak.
Tatiana laughed harder. Those guys are real. They are Mommy’s friends and they are all boys. She has lots of friends who are boys but Mommy belongs to Daddy.
No sign of teasing now. She might not understand exactly how her parents’ relationship worked and it wasn’t his place to enlighten her. Hell, he didn’t understand it much either. Maybe she could shed some light.
He swiftly left the room again and returned before Tatiana could miss him. He had another pad this time, but he wasn’t sure what to ask or rather if he wanted to hear the answer. Tatiana waited patiently for his next question but he couldn’t find the words. Like most kids, she knew how to fill the awkward silence.
We Shall Rise Page 8