by Kimmy Love
“I’m going to be sick.” She stood up and ran to the bathroom, holding vomit in once again.
“What’s going on with her?” Maria asked.
“She loves chicken burritos. Well, really, she loves all food,” JoAnn replied confusingly.
“I don’t know. When I was pregnant with Maverick, chicken really grossed me out for some reason,” Jade said.
“I was like that too when I was pregnant with both of you girls,” JoAnn responded. Neither of them had realized exactly what they said to each other.
“Um, guys. Tessa’s not pregnant. Right?” Maria responded. Jade and JoAnn simultaneously dropped their food. Tessa returned to the table, looking a little better than when she left.
“Okay, I think I’m okay now.” Tessa sat back down. All three of the girls were looking at her in shock. It made sense that she was having some morning sickness and stomach sensitivities if she was pregnant. They all sat and stared at Tessa in shock. “What?”
*****
“This can’t be happening. This CAN’T be happening!” Tessa paced around the kitchen, holding a pregnancy test that she had just peed on. They were slowly waiting for the results. Her and Oscar had only spent one night together, and they used a condom. Tessa wasn’t on birth control, and they had made love several times throughout that night. Any one of those times an accident could have happened. She was as careful as possible, but the night was filled with passion, so she was certainly distracted in certain moments. “THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING!”
“It’s okay, honey, stress has some crazy effects on people. Maybe that’s why you’ve been puking.” JoAnn was trying to be reassuring. She was a nurse, however, and saw plenty of girls in and out of her office with similar symptoms as Tessa was having.
“This is great. Mavi’s been wanting a new playmate,” said Jade. Tessa shot her a death glare and JoAnn slapped her on the leg. This was not the time for jokes.
Maria had to go back to the gallery, but the other girls ditched the rest of their plans to shop that day and instead figured a pregnancy test was the next most important purchase. They were all sitting in the living room waiting patiently to see the results of the test. They certainly didn’t have to wait very long.
Tessa thought about what it would mean if she were pregnant. She had always wanted to be a mom when she was little, but as she got older, she grew more and more skeptical of becoming a parent. She saw the way that Jade struggled to raise Maverick, especially because she was so young.
She loved her nephew more than anyone else in the world at that moment, but she didn’t want to have to see herself struggling to raise a child like Jade had. She knew she would be a good mother, but financially, it really wasn’t an option. If she were pregnant, having no doubts that it was Oscar’s she knew that the baby would be taken care of. Despite this, she wasn’t looking for handouts, and was even more terrified of being a single mother.
She had to watch her sister struggle to raise Maverick during her separation, but first they both had to watch their mother struggle. It wasn’t easy for JoAnn to hide all of her emotions while raising the two young girls. Though they all did their best to avoid serious conversations when they were young, they could still certainly tell that it wasn’t always easy for her.
Keeping the house clean, getting places on time, and always having a fridge full of food was hard enough for Tessa to do when she just had to take care of herself. What would it be like if she had a small child to take care of?
Of course, if she were pregnant, raising the child wouldn’t be the only option. It hurt her too much to think of the other possibilities, however. She couldn’t think of finding out she was pregnant only to get rid of the baby in any way after that. She didn’t let her mind wander there and instead wanted to focus on what would happen if the test was positive.
She still hadn’t heard from Oscar and wasn’t planning on contacting him that day. If the test were positive, she’d have to tell him, right? He hadn’t had any kids of his own with Lydia during their marriage, so how was she supposed to know what his thoughts on kids were? She barely knew him, so asking about kids wasn’t her first priority when they were talking during their date. How would he react if she were to tell him?
This was all overwhelming Tessa, and then she thought about her health habits since the time she and Oscar had been together. She certainly didn’t eat the healthiest and had her fair share of wine every once in a while. She didn’t do any drugs and tried to drink tea instead of coffee, but her body still wasn’t the ideal one to grow a baby inside.
There were too many things to think about. Being pregnant was the last thing Tessa would have thought happened to her. Even more so than finding out she was dating a billionaire. She couldn’t take it anymore. She had to look at the test. It was still empty. It looked like some line was trying to form, but Tessa couldn’t tell exactly what it was trying to say just yet.
“How do you speed this thing up?” Tessa was more anxious than ever.
“Honey I’m sorry, but it’s only been a minute,” JoAnn responded, thinking about when she took the pregnancy tests for her daughters. Each time, she had wanted to get pregnant and tried several times for each girl. There was nothing more disappointing to her than to see a negative pregnancy test those few times before they finally read positive. She wasn’t sure what she wanted Tessa’s pregnancy test to read, however.
“No way! It’s been like an hour. This thing’s broken.” Tessa felt like she had been pacing around the apartment for hours.
“Sis, I have a timer. We just have three more minutes until we should be able to tell.” Jade had been through this before. When she took her pregnancy test, she was alone in the bathroom at the coffee shop where she was working at the time. She had all of the exact same anxieties that Tessa was having. Only in her case, she didn’t have a billionaire to fall back on. She was still dating Dominic at the time, and at least he wasn’t married, a thought that comforted Jade but also made her feel guilty. The timer went off. “Okay! It’s time!”
Tessa ran towards the test, picked it up, and stared, her face expressionless. “It’s positive.”
Chapter6
Tessa looked down at the painting sitting in a box in front of her. It was the old Cronus piece that she and Oscar had bonded over in the beginning of their relationship. Someone had purchased it and she was sending it to be shipped right there in Athens. She didn’t have the name of the person it was being shipped to, so she wondered who it was that was going to be keeping the picture that meant so much to her and Oscar on that very night that they shared together. Though she wasn’t allowed to, she took out her phone and snapped a picture before taping the box closed.
It had been four weeks since she found out she was pregnant. She still wasn’t sure what to do about it all, but at least she knew that she was going to be keeping the baby. She went to the doctor when her mother was in town to make sure that she was pregnant. They were able to find a heartbeat.
It was easy for her to remember the exact night of conception. It was the only time she was ever with Oscar in bed and the last time she had been with a man in several months. She was still incredibly anxious about it all, but each day made her feel closer to her baby. There was no way she couldn’t have and raise this child.
She had attempted to contact Oscar after the first doctor’s appointment, but he never responded. She was still incredibly nervous about what their first encounter would be like since the night she found out the truth about him. She went to pick up the package to put it close to the front for the delivery man.
“Don’t lift that! You shouldn’t really be lifting heavy things.” Maria ran over and took the package from Tessa.
“Shh, don’t say anything too loud! I’m still not ready to tell everyone.” Tessa had only told her mother, sister, and Maria. Her family had returned to the States, but she still talked to them almost every day.
“Well, you’re keeping it aren’t you?” Maria
asked confusedly.
“Obviously, but I just am not ready for everyone to know just yet. I’m still processing it myself.” Tessa looked down at her stomach. She wasn’t showing yet, but she could still feel a presence lingering inside her body. It wasn’t easy for her to picture life growing inside her but it was certainly exciting. Every night, she held her hands on her stomach, talking to the baby about how she’ll always love and protect it. She wished someone else was next to her to say the same things to both her and their child.
Oscar had come into the gallery once again, but only a couple weeks after Tessa had texted him. She was annoyed that he had never responded and still wasn’t quite ready to see him face to face again. Maria had been working that day and told him to leave. He was persistent, and just like the tick of the clock, Oscar appeared once again at the door as Maria set the package down.
Tessa looked right at him, frozen. She knew that this moment was coming again, and no amount of time before could have prepared her for the emotions that flooded back to her once she saw those crystal blue eyes again.
Oscar looked at her, a giant smile stretching across his face. It was the first time that he saw her in person since she threw a wine bottle at him. Since then, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He wanted to contact her, but he still didn’t have her phone number since Lydia had deleted it. He started to walk towards Tessa. She started shaking.
She wanted to just blurt out that she was pregnant to get it over with right away, but her boss was in earshot and she didn’t want to start a scene at her job. Although she knew she wouldn’t be able to finish the internship, she still wanted to work there for as long as possible and get in good standing with the company to use them as a reference for later positions.
“Hi, you look beautiful,” Oscar said with such relief. Tessa was only wearing a white T-shirt and jeans. She hadn’t even done her makeup that day and her hair could use a good wash. Regardless, Oscar thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world. Tessa was fighting back tears.
“I can’t talk now. Meet me back here tonight around 6?” It took everything in Tessa to just say those words. She felt so deeply for Oscar, but if she wasn’t pregnant, she probably would have told him to go away and leave her alone. She’d never felt so passionately about anyone in her life like she did for Oscar, but that strong positive emotion came with some risks. Getting hurt when you’re connected that deeply to someone only hurts more.
She didn’t think she could survive the pain of getting her heart broken by him again. If she wasn’t planning on having his child, she would have preferred to just move on and find an easier relationship. She had someone else to look out for now, too. It wasn’t just about Tessa and what she wanted.
“Of course. I’ll see you then.” Oscar lingered there for a second. Tessa wanted to kiss him but knew that this would have been kind of weird. She just wanted to feel his lips on hers again. He walked away, and she got back to work.
She thought about Lydia. The media had settled down a bit since the report of their Athens meet-up. There were articles built on rumors of a rekindled relationship, a possible affair, and even a drunken fight in his apartment. Tessa didn’t know what to believe. Her mind swarmed with the possibilities of the truth every day, but she did her best to shut them out. She knew her baby could feel every emotion that she was experiencing and didn’t want to jeopardize the health of her unborn child.
“So, you’re finally going to tell him?” Maria walked up to Tessa once Oscar left.
“He deserves to know, doesn’t he?” Tessa said. Neither of them talked for a moment after they watched Oscar get back into his car in front of the gallery and drive away. “I’m going to take an early lunch.”
Tessa had packed a salad that day and sat alone in the back, picking small pieces at a time. She normally liked to read or doodle on her breaks, but on this one, she couldn’t help but zone out and think about everything. Seeing Oscar was exhausting. Half of her wanted to run and jump into his arms, kiss him and take him all in, right there. The other part of her wanted to throw the Cronus painting at him and kick him once he fell. Why couldn’t he just be a normal single guy like the other ones she had dated in the past? Even if he hadn’t been married, she thought about how his billionaire lifestyle wasn’t ideal.
Of course, the idea of dating someone with money was something many people in Tessa’s life desired. Money was the reason for so much stress. She knew she wouldn’t have to work again if they were together. But that didn’t mean she wouldn’t want to. She was an independent person who liked to have her own things. She never wanted to be the type of person who was reliant on other people to get what she needed.
As a billionaire, Oscar brought in a lot of other baggage. In the weeks since she saw him last, his name was in the paper dozens of times. Tessa was someone who enjoyed her privacy, and she never wanted to end up in a paparazzi shot with him and her child. The idea that her life might get picked apart in the media made her sick. It was the last thing she would ever want for a family.
Oscar was at least a billionaire for ethical reasons. He wasn’t a sketchy politician or someone who used slave labor to produce mass quantities of cheap products marked too high for the normal man. His clothing company, Legros, was one of the biggest retail outlets in the world. The store sold various clothing for all types of bodies and ages at decent prices. The clothes were all made in a local factory built close to the store where they sold them.
Oscar had planned on being in Greece for about a year to oversee the building of the store as well as the factory, located about an hour from Athens. Although not everyone enjoyed chain outlets for stores, it still brought in jobs for building as well as for people to work in the store. The company had been handed down to Oscar as well, and since he took over his father’s company, he had been doing his best to ensure that the business had high moral standards and did more good than bad. This was all information that Tessa had discovered while spending time searching his name through all hours of the night.
Despite all of this, she was still skeptical about their relationship. What would people think of her? This girl that just started dating him already pregnant with his child. She still couldn’t fathom the idea of him not being in the baby’s life, however.
Her father had abandoned her at such a young age, and this isn’t something that Tessa wanted to happen to her baby. She didn’t need a father, and she certainly didn’t want her father to come back into her life, but she thought about how it would have made things a bit easier for her growing up. Too many times, people would ask who her father was, where he was, or what he was like—all questions Tessa was unable to answer.
Her mother did an amazing job raising Tessa and never in her life would she want her mother to know that she sometimes thought about her father. He was still half of who Tessa was, however. Every trait she had that she couldn’t recognize in her mother, she wondered if she inherited it from her father. Of course, some of her habits were natural or learned from other people throughout her life. She still couldn’t help but think about what he was like and what their relationship might be. She didn’t want her baby to have to think of any of these things growing up. She wouldn’t be pregnant if it weren’t for Oscar, and she certainly couldn’t have done this on her own. She knew she had to tell him the truth and have him be a part of her child’s life.
She figured she would work at the gallery up until her third trimester. After that, she’d plan on moving back and raising her baby in New York City. She would probably live with her mom at first until she could find a job and afford a place of her own. If she was lucky enough to enter a graduate program, that would allow her to push back her studies for up to two years in case something came up.
She’d be able to head back to school when her baby was a little over a year old. She felt comforted knowing that she had mostly figured everything out. Everything except what her life with Oscar would be like. Could she take him back, or woul
d it be too hard to mesh in with his lifestyle?
“Hey, you coming back to work?” Maria asked Tessa and opened the back door. She suddenly realized she had been on her break 10 minutes past the allotted time, thinking of Oscar during the entire lunch.
“Yeah, sorry. Just tired.” Tessa cleaned up her stuff and headed back to work.
Tessa locked up the gallery doors around 5:45, the usual time they closed up and headed home.
“Do you want me to stay with you?” Maria asked.
“I’ll be okay. Don’t worry. Thanks, though,” Tessa said, waiting patiently outside for Oscar. Maria walked away, and Tessa looked around to see if he was there. Oscar rolled down the window of a black SUV sitting in front of the gallery.
“Can we go to my place?” he asked from the back seat.
“My mother told me to never get in the car with a stranger,” Tessa teased. “Oh wait, that’s right, you’re not anymore once I read everything about you.” She said it sassily, referring to the many tabloids she had spent weeks reading.
“Please can I explain?” Oscar asked desperately. She felt bad about what she had said but was still harboring some resentment. She climbed into the car and they took off. “You look amazing Tessa, you really do. I wouldn’t just say that.”
“Thank you.” She awkwardly looked out of the window. She knew she should do some talking too, to relieve the tension, However, she wasn’t ready to speak without crying. She waited for him to start a serious conversation, but instead, he reached over and grabbed her hand. She looked at him, fighting back tears, but one escaped and rolled down her cheek.
“I’m so sorry. I would never want to see you hurt.” His sweet words only made it harder to control her emotions. Being pregnant didn’t make it any easier to try to hide the fact that she was crying. Oscar handed her a tissue.
They didn’t speak the entire ride to Oscar’s apartment and instead just held hands. Tessa felt like she was on an awkward date on her way to her high school’s homecoming. The car with a driver in the front seat wasn’t the ideal place to have a serious conversation like this, anyway.