by Pu Songling
The monk laughed again and said, “You can perform them, all right. Since you’ve already mastered everything I can do, I invite you to practice your moves against me.” Li was happy to do so, and crossed his arms in readiness.
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Zichuan: Pu Songling’s home county, in Shandong province.
Shaolin Temple: Famous martial arts center located in Henan province.
As they then began to grapple with each other, Li constantly leapt about, looking to strike at some small flaw in the monk’s technique; suddenly the monk launched a flying kick that sent Li sliding, face up, more than a zhang. The monk clapped his hands and said, “Perhaps you haven’t yet learned everything I can do.” Li placed his palms on the ground, ashamed and embarrassed, and begged to be taught more. After an additional several days, the monk finally took his leave and departed.
Thereupon Li gained a reputation as a martial artist whom no one could equal, no matter where he traveled. It happened that in Lixia, he saw a young Buddhist nun, exhibiting her skill in an open area, with an overflow crowd of observers squeezed together. The nun announced to the throng of spectators, “I’m having to perform these moves all by myself, which makes them just seem cold and isolated. If there’s someone who would like to help, please join me in the performance circle, and we’ll have some fun together.” Then she repeated her invitation for a volunteer three times.
The crowd members looked at each other, but no one responded. Li was standing to one side, unconsciously itching to show off his skill, so on the impulse, he stepped forward. The nun then smiled and put her palms together in greeting. But after they’d just begun a round of fighting, the nun called a halt and said, “That’s Shaolin-style fighting.” She asked right away, “Who is your teacher?” Li at first said nothing. As she insistently continued to question him, he told her about the monk.
The nun submissively bowed to him and asked, “Was that powerful Buddhist monk your master? If so, then we don’t really need to fight any further, and I’ll willingly admit defeat.” Li insistently invited her to go another four rounds with him, but she said she couldn’t. At the crowd’s instigation, the nun then said, “Well, since this man is the disciple of a good-tempered master, and we’re both well versed in the martial arts, there’s no harm in putting on an exhibition. However, we should just demonstrate our skills, without actually hurting each other.” Li agreed.
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Zhang: A distance equal to 3.33 meters.
Lixia: Ancient city name, now part of Jinan in Shandong province.
Considering the nun to be gentle and delicate-looking, Li figured she’d be easy to defeat; moreover, with the strength of his youth supporting him, his desire was to defeat her and to use his victory that day to win more fame for himself. Then when he started feinting back and forth, the nun suddenly stopped. Li asked her why, but she just smiled and said nothing. Li figured she was just timid, so he strongly urged her to try her skill against him again. The young nun then returned to their exhibition.
After a little while, Li launched a flying kick. The nun brought her five fingers together and gave him a chop just below his thigh; Li’s knee felt like there was a knife or axe cutting it, so he fell down and couldn’t get up. The nun smiled apologetically and exclaimed, “I hope you’ll forgive me for insulting you, a visitor, so crudely and rashly!” Li was carried back home, and it took over a month before he began to recover from his injury.
When a year had passed, the monk returned again, so Li told him about everything that had happened with the nun. Shocked, the monk declared, “You were incredibly brash! What do you expect from provoking someone like her? You’re lucky you told her my name first; otherwise, she’d have cut off your leg!”
172. The Little Man
During the reign of Kangxi, there was a magician who carried around a wine jar, inside which he kept a little man who was about a chi tall. When anyone tossed him a coin, the magician opened the jar and ordered him to come out, and the little man would sing some Chinese opera songs, then he’d go back inside.
In Ye county, a magistrate ordered the magician to bring the jar into his office, so he could perform a detailed examination of the little man’s background. At first, the little man didn’t dare say anything. In response to the magistrate’s persistent interrogation, however, he finally divulged his hometown and family name. When he was a boy, he’d just come back from his private school one day, when the magician enchanted him, and fed him a magical concoction that caused his entire body to shrink violently; ever since, the magician had been been carrying him around, treating him like some kind of stage prop.
Infuriated, the magistrate executed the magician. And though he asked the little fellow to stay so he could be treated by doctors, they still couldn’t restore him to normal size.
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Kangxi: The Qing dynasty emperor who ruled from 1662-1722.
Chi: A measure equal to 1/3 meter.
Ye county: Located in modern Shandong province.
173. Scholar Qin
Scholar Qin in Laizhou was making some medicinal wine when he accidentally poisoned a batch, but he just couldn’t bear to throw it out, so he sealed it up and stashed it away. A year went by, till one night he happened to desire something to drink, but couldn’t find anything. Suddenly he remembered the poisoned wine that he’d put away before, and when he unsealed it to take a sniff, its powerful fragrance came billowing out, making his insides tingle and causing him to salivate uncontrollably.
He picked up a small cup and was just about to take a taste, when his wife vigorously warned him not to do so. With a laugh, Qin replied, “Dying from a joyful drink of wine is vastly preferable to dying of thirst.” Once he emptied the small cup, he reached for the bottle to pour some more.
His wife then knocked over the bottle, which spilled all over the room’s floor. Qin prostrated himself on the ground and started lapping it up. In moments, abdominal pains paralyzed him so much that he couldn’t open his mouth, and he died during the night. His wife howled in grief while preparing his coffin, and then he was laid inside it.
The next night, a beautiful woman not even a full three chi in height suddenly entered the house and walked straight towards the coffin, took a small bowl of water, and poured it in, suddenly reviving Qin. When he kowtowed to her and asked who she was, she declared, “I’m a fox immortal. My husband broke in to the Chen family’s house, stole some of their wine, and drank himself to death, so I came to his rescue, to bring him home. We happened to be passing your house and he took pity on you, due to your shared love of wine, so he asked me to bring some medicine and save you.” When she finished speaking, she disappeared.
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Laizhou: A prefecture located in modern Shandong province.
I was a friend of Qiu Xingsu, a successful civil service examination candidate who was addicted to wine. One night, he’d been thinking about having some wine, but wasn’t able to go out to buy some, and couldn’t stand his cravings, so he thought about drinking vinegar instead. He mentioned the notion to his wife, who just laughed at the idea.
Qiu, remaining adamant in his intention, warmed some vinegar to drink. Once he’d drained a jug of it, he undressed and slept soundly. The next day, he sent the empty jug and some money with a servant, to have it refilled with wine.
On the way, the servant ran into Qiu’s uncle and younger brother, who wanted to know what he was going to do, since they figured that Qiu’s wife disapproved of him getting more wine for his master. Qiu’s servant explained, “The master’s wife told me, ‘There’s not much vinegar stored in the house, and last night he drank up almost half of it; I’m afraid that if he’s encouraged with another jug, he’ll finish off everything we’ve got.” The men laughed upon hearing this.
How could they have known that when the desire for drink is strong enough, even poisoned wine—le
t alone vinegar—seems tasty? But this can be passed around, too.
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Chi: A measure equal to 1/3 meter; the diminutive beauty is a little less than 3’3” in height.
174. Yatou
Wang Wen was a zhusheng from Dongchang. He was a sincere young man. While visiting the kingdom of Chu on a pleasure trip, he passed through Luhe, where he stopped at an inn, and then went out for a walk. In the vicinity he ran into his kinsman, Zhao Donglou, a prominent merchant, who was often away from home for years at a time. When Zhao saw Wang, he joyfully hugged him, and invited him to come with him to where he was staying.
When they arrived, Wang noticed a beautiful woman sitting in their room, and shrank back in shock. Zhao grabbed to stop him, called in through a window for the woman to leave, and then Wang went inside with him. Zhao provided both wine and food as they exchanged warm regards for each other. Wang asked him, “What kind of place is this?”
“It’s a small brothel,” replied Zhao. “Since I’m away from home for extended periods of time, I take up temporary lodging here.” As they were speaking, the young woman frequently came and went. This made Wang feel rather uneasy, so he got up from his seat to take his leave. Zhao firmly prevented him from doing so and directed him to take his seat again.
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Zhusheng: A successful candidate in the lowest level of the imperial civil service examination.
Donchang: A prefecture located in modern Shandong province.
Chu: Ancient kingdom, from the seventh through the third centuries B.C.E., that comprised parts of modern Anhui, Hubei, and Hunan provinces during the Warring States Period (403-221 B.C.E.).
Luhe: Located east of Hankou in Hubei province, and south of Dongchang.
Wang saw a girl pass by, outside the doorway, and when she saw him, she stared with a seductive glance, her features communicating her feelings, her appearance both refined and obliging—a real goddess. Wang was a simple, upright man, so he was at a loss about what to make of her, and he asked his relative, “Who’s that beautiful girl?”
Zhao explained, “She’s the second daughter of the proprietress here—her courtesy name’s Yatou, and she’s fourteen. Time and again, patrons have sent lavish monetary gifts to entice the old woman to let them sleep with the beauty, but the girl has remained unwilling to do so, even provoking the mother to whip her for refusing, though the girl pled her young age and was hence allowed to refrain from sex. She’s presently still waiting to be married.”
When Wang heard these words, he silently bowed his head and sat down, feeling crazy about her, completely distracted in his responses to his relative. Zhao playfully told him, “If you wish me to do so, I could break the ice for you.”
Wang regretfully replied, “I dare not even entertain such an idea.” However, as daylight began turning toward night, Wang didn’t say anything about leaving. Zhao again teased him by offering to serve as a go-between. Wang said, “I’m grateful for your intentions on my behalf, but there’s no point, since I have little in my purse!” Zhao knew the girl would be quite resistant to a suitor, and would never consent to the proposition, so he gave Wang ten taels to help him out.
Wang formally thanked Zhao and hurried out, gathered up all of his money at the inn, which included another five taels, then returned, turning it all over to Zhao to give to Yatou’s mother. She, as they expected, concluded that it was too little. Yatou told her, “Mother, you nag me every day about not making any money, so now I’m going to comply with your wishes. I’ll begin doing as you ask, bringing in plenty starting today, just don’t let my wealthy young man get away.”
Yatou’s mother recognized her daughter’s stubborn nature, so she gave her consent, which delighted Yatou. Then as promised, the proprietress sent a maidservant to invite Master Wang to join them. Zhao was afraid that the proprietress would break off the negotiation right in the middle of it, so he handed over an additional ten taels over to Yatou’s mother.
Wang and Yatou joyfully made love. Later, she told him, “I’m just a lowly prostitute, so I can’t possibly be an equal match for you; yet you seem deeply attached to me, and your sincerity is most important. You’ve given everything you have for this one night of bliss, but what about the future?”
Wang began weeping, choked with grief. “Don’t be sad,” Yatou told him. “I can always fall back on the life of the prostitute, although it’s really not what I’d wish. Looking back, I’ve never really known anyone like you, on whom I can depend. Please take me away from here tonight.” Overjoyed, Wang hastily got up to dress; Yatou did, too.
They heard the watchtower drum report that the third watch had already arrived. Yatou quickly changed into men’s clothing, then they hastily exited together and soon they were knocking at the door of the innkeeper. Wang then collected the pair of donkeys he and his servant had ridden, explaining that he had urgent business to attend to, and told his servant that they had to go as soon as possible.
Yatou took some magical talismans and tied them to the servant’s legs and the donkeys’ ears, then released the donkeys’ bridles and away they galloped. Wang couldn’t open his eyes, and all he heard was the sound of the wind whistling past; by dawn they’d arrived at the mouth of the Han River, where they stopped and leased a house.
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Third watch: The third of the five two-hour divisions of the night, from 11:00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m.
Wang was quite amazed by Yatou’s strange talents. “If I explain to you,” she said, “will you try not to be frightened? I’m not a human being, but a fox. My mother is greedy and wicked, and every day I have to face her cruelties, so I’ve been building resentment in my heart. Now, good fortune has rescued me from that sea of woes. I’m hundreds of li away from her, and she doesn’t know where I am, so with any luck I’ll be safe from her.”
Wang declared that he wasn’t at all bothered by her being a fox, and calmly told her, “Now I have a beautiful woman in my home, but because it’s little more than just four walls, I find it difficult to console myself, for I fear that eventually you’ll recognize this and toss me aside.”
Yatou replied, “You mustn’t think like that. We can sell things in the marketplace, and since we only have three mouths to feed, we’ll be able to live in peace with what we can make from that. We can sell the donkeys to raise some money.”
Wang did as she said and then set up a little shop in front of their gate, where he and the servant did all the manual work, selling wine and soups there. Yatou produced and sold shawls and small moneybags, making a profit each day, providing excellent support. As the year went by, they gradually accumulated enough to afford maidservants. From then on, Wang didn’t have to do any more of the manual labor, so he supervised the business instead.
One day, Yatou suddenly turned quiet and sad, exclaiming, “There’s disaster coming tonight, but what can we do!” Wang asked her what she meant, and she replied, “My mother’s gotten word of where I am, so she’ll certainly come after me. If she sends my elder sister, I’m not worried; but I’m afraid that she’ll be coming herself.”
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Han River: The largest tributary of the Yangzi (Changjiang) River, its basin includes territory in Shaanxi, Henan, and Hubei provinces.
Li: A distance equal to 1/3 mile.
As night turned to day, Yatou said in a reassuring tone, “Everything’s fine, my elder sister’s coming.” Before long, a girl opened the door and came in. Yatou smiled at her.
But the girl began scolding her, “How can you not feel ashamed for having gone into hiding with this man! Mother has ordered me to tie you up and bring you back.” Accordingly, she took out a big rope and tied it around Yatou’s neck.
Yatou angrily exclaimed, “Since when is living with one man, from beginning to end, a crime?” Her sister became even more indignant and seized Yatou, tearing her robe. Then all of the maidser
vants in the house ganged up to oppose her. Intimidated, Yatou’s sister hurried out.
“My sister’s gone home,” Yatou told them, “so mother herself will certainly be on the way. Disaster’s not far off, so we must prepare quickly.” Then she hurriedly began packing things in anticipation of moving somewhere else.
Her mother unexpectedly burst in, looking furious as she grabbed her with both hands, and declared, “I knew all along you wouldn’t obey, so I had to come myself!” Yatou welcomed her by kneeling and weeping sorrowfully. The mother said nothing, but grabbed her by the hair and dragged her away. Distraught, Wang paced back and forth, refusing to sleep or eat.
He anxiously traveled to Luhe, in hopes of offering a bribe to ransom Yatou. When he arrived, the front entrance was as it had been before, but the people there were different. He asked the new residents, but none of them knew where the women had moved. Grief-stricken over losing Yatou, he went back. Consequently, he dismissed the maidservants, put the money he had into his purse, and headed homeward to the east.
Several years later, he happened to be passing through the capital when he walked by an orphanage and saw a boy who was seven or eight years old. Wang’s servant thought the boy looked strangely like his master, so he went back and looked at him more carefully.
“Aren’t you going to explain why you’re staring at that boy?” Wang asked. The servant smiled at him in reply. Wang also smiled. He looked closely at the boy, who had an honest and upright demeanor. Wang thought to himself that since he had no son of his own, and the boy resembled him, he could love him and give him a home.
He asked the boy his name, and he replied that he called himself Wang Zi. “You were abandoned when you were an infant,” said Wang, “so how do you know what your name was?”
The boy replied, “My teacher always said that at the time they found me, there were characters written across my chest that read, ‘the son of Wang Wen of Shandong’.”