by Mia Archer
"Did you ever have any crazies who got mad at you after they slept with you?"
"There were a couple like that. I always pointed out that they were the ones who hopped in bed with me. It’s not like I forced them to do anything. It's not like I ever held a girl down and… Well, I'm sure you know where I’m going with this."
"Boy do I know," I replied.
We rounded the corner and headed down one of the side streets. The gay and lesbian clubs were all off in their own location. Easier for everyone to find them. Though there’d probably been a time when the reasons they were all gathered in one spot were more sinister than being easily found. I'm sure the location was a holdover from the bad old days days when locals didn't want that kind of business on the main drag.
Something told me these days it wouldn’t be an issue if one of the clubs relocated to the main drag. It's just that at this point it was tradition.
And as we turned the corner I saw something that made my blood chill. Damn it. Not here. Not now. Not tonight of all fucking nights.
"What are those people doing?" Savannah asked.
There was a small group of people setting up across the street and down a little ways from us. One person was working on a microphone and had a speaker attached. I shook my head.
"We can’t get away from them no matter how far we go," I said.
"Let me guess, religious nuts?" Savannah asked.
"Something like that. If you go talk to them they'll say they love the sinner but not the sin. All that bullshit. The upshot is they sit there with their PA equipment and shout at us about how we’re all going to hell."
"Well they can go to hell," Savannah said.
I turned and looked her up and down. "Why Savannah. That almost sounded like you were standing up to those types."
She shrugged. "Like you said, I'm going to have to learn how to do it someday. Why not start now?"
I felt a slight change in her direction. As though she was about to head off towards the people setting up that PA equipment. It was still early enough in the evening that they didn’t exactly have a full group, but I really didn't want to get in an altercation in the street. I glanced over to the corner opposite us where there were a couple of cops standing looking at the religious nutters with disapproval.
Now that was a welcome change. I could remember a time when I first started coming down here that the cops would be looking at everyone having a good time with disapproval rather than the people exercising their First Amendment rights to be huge assholes on public property.
"Whoa there Savannah," I said. "You don't want to start anything with them," I said.
Savannah stared at them with fire in her eyes for a moment longer, but then the tension drained from her. Damn. When I talked about her standing up for herself I hadn't meant that she should go and start trouble with people.
I wondered what sort of monster I'd created. I wondered if the monster would come out when we were back home, for that matter. I figured there was a big difference between confronting some random assholes and confronting the man who’d terrorized her at a young age and left her with some serious emotional scars.
"I suppose you're right," Savannah said. "Let's go have some fun. Fuck those assholes!"
"To be perfectly honest I think it's fucking assholes that has them so annoyed in the first place," I said.
Savannah fixed me with a flat stare. "Did you really just say that?"
I blushed. "Okay, so maybe that was a cheesy line."
"You seem to be fond of those," she said.
"Whatever. Let's go dance and have a good time."
"You don't have to tell me twice!" Savannah said.
I pulled Savannah down to a club that catered to mostly women. We stepped inside and I felt at home almost immediately.
"Kirsten? Is that you?" Someone said from beside me.
I turned and smiled at Lily. Though her name was a little misleading. She was built like a brick house, and as a result she was one of the best bouncers at any of the clubs in this part of town. It was also damn good to see her.
"Oh my God, Lily!" I squealed. "How the hell have you been?"
"Forget that. Who's this and where did you find her?" Lily asked.
She gave Savannah one hell of a once over. The sort of once over that might've made me feel jealous once upon a time, but I just enjoyed it now. Savannah was a lot of fun to look over in that outfit. It was unlike anything I'd ever seen her in back home and I loved it. Yeah, I figured it was a compliment if someone was checking out my girl.
My girl. I felt tingly all over just saying that. Damn. She was all mine, and I felt so lucky. As long as she was mine any and all extraneous bullshit didn't matter. We’d figure it out.
"This is Savannah. My girlfriend," I said.
Again I felt warmth running through me at those words. Savannah. My girlfriend. It sent a shiver running through me, and we weren't even touching.
"Nice to meet you Savannah," Lily said. "You've got yourself a special girl here!"
"Aw shucks Lily," I said in my best self-deprecating voice.
"Go on," Lily said, waving us in. "I know you're probably eager to get out on the dance floor with her."
"You know it!"
Lily waved us through. We stepped in and the music assaulted me. I felt like I was home. I'd had so many good times here, and it felt like nothing had changed. Of course that was deliberate. A big part of the owner’s business strategy was keeping everything as close to original as possible so everyone got hit with nostalgia when they inevitably came back.
Well, I had to admit it was working. I hadn't understood at the time the whole nostalgia strategy was explained to me by a slightly tipsy owner behind the bar trying to convince me to come up and see the apartment she had over the place. Back then I couldn't conceive of a time when I would be graduated and out of school. Now, though, I was being hit with one hell of a nostalgiagasm.
"So are we getting a drink?" Savannah shouted.
I shrugged. "A drink sounds good."
So we made our way over to the bar, and from there we headed out to the dance floor where I played the age old game of balancing my drink while at the same time trying to dance. It was made particularly difficult because Savannah was so very distracting. Distracting to the point that I very nearly lost my booze on a couple of occasions.
"Watch out!" Savannah shouted. "You're going to soak me!"
I leaned in. "You mean I haven't already?"
Savannah turned and fixed me with a look that clearly said "are you fucking kidding me?" I fixed her with my best smile. If she was going to be with me then she was going to have to get used to cheesy lines. She inspired them in me for some reason.
I moved up close to her. Pressed my body against hers. Enjoyed the feel of her.
It was funny. I'd explored her on so many occasions when she was wearing a hell of a lot less than this, but there was something about seeing her dressed like this for the first time that really got me going. I was dizzy with desire. I almost wanted to go back to the hotel, but that would ruin some of the fun.
And so I enjoyed running my hands all over her. Enjoyed her turning around and running her hands all over me.
It was a delicious distraction that had me completely losing track of time. Several songs went by and my drink went lower and lower as our sweaty bodies pressed together. When I finally realized that I was coming up empty on my drink I looked around.
The place had filled up in the meantime. I had a good buzz going, they always made things strong at this place, and Savannah was giving me a look that I could only describe as "bedroom eyes." It was the kind of look that made me want to get back to our hotel, and I wanted to be back there a half hour ago.
I leaned in. "What do you say we go back to my place?"
Savannah didn't smile. No, she just looked at me with her eyes lidded and leaned in closer.
"I thought you'd never ask!"
"Hey, you were the one
who said you wanted to go out tonight," I said. "Remember I was more than happy to stay back at the hotel."
"Well I need to be back at the hotel with you now!" Savannah said.
She grabbed me and pulled me along out of the club almost as quickly as she'd tried to yank me out of the hotel earlier when I suggested we stay in for the night. I smiled and allowed myself to be dragged along.
We brushed past Lily who smiled and waved, but she didn’t stop us for conversation this time around. She seemed pretty busy with girls from semi-drunk to sloshed trying to get in. Besides, she could probably tell we were women on a mission. She was probably more than used to seeing women on that very same mission all the time working at the front of this particular club.
We stepped out into the night where I heard yelling that had nothing to do with having a good time.
"God loves you, but hates your sin! You still have time to repent and avoid hell!"
A chill ran through me that had nothing to do with anything I'd done with Savannah out on the dance floor, though some of those moves were certainly shiver worthy. I squeezed my eyes shut. That voice. Why did it have to be that voice?
Savannah reached out and grabbed my hand. Held it tight. So tight that it was almost painful.
"Kirsten, is it that…"
I opened my eyes. Stared down the street to where the usual gang of protesters was out trying to ruin everybody's night. I'd never given them much thought before. I'd usually been too drunk to give a shit about them. I'd certainly been too drunk to really look at who was down there shouting.
Only now the voice shouting at us was a voice that I recognized all too well. It was none other than Pastor Dan spewing his unique hate fueled brand of godly love. What the hell was he doing here?
"Damn it," Savannah said. "Even when I go to the city to get away from that guy he's right there! It's not fair!"
I reached out and took her hand. "It's okay. We can just walk down the other side of the street and avoid him. You don’t have to talk to that prick."
I pulled on Savannah's hand. The last thing I wanted was to deal with him here. Especially with those cops just down the street. Our last encounter was still very much at the forefront of my imagination and I had a strong feeling that getting into a fight here would lead to a lot more trouble than back home where everybody knew everybody and charges were less likely to be filed.
Only I was yanked back as I tried to pull Savannah away. I looked down in surprise. Savannah wasn't budging. She had a determined look on her face. I felt a mixture of excitement and worry at that look. That was the look of a woman who was about to do something potentially stupid.
"Savannah…"
"No." she said, shaking her head. "Not here. He doesn’t come everywhere in my life and make me feel miserable. I'm not letting him push me around anymore."
She looked at me. "It's just like you said. I can't run from him forever. Maybe it took tonight, took that conversation we had earlier, for me to realize that I’m letting him hold me back from happiness every time I let him treat me like crap."
And with that she pulled away from me and took off down the street. Right for the people with their loudspeakers and Pastor Dan in particular who was shouting at people at the top of his lungs even though he had a PA system to amplify his voice.
Damn it. What had I gotten us into with that pep talk earlier?
16: Standing Up
I was seeing red. It was the only way to describe it. I was absolutely furious.
Here I was out of town. Here I was trying to enjoy an evening of fun with Kirsten. Here I was trying to get away from exactly the sort of hate that Pastor Dan was constantly spewing, and yet the asshole had followed me out here.
The only thought that ran through my mind as I looked at him was "how dare he?"
Seriously. It was bad enough that the guy turned my life into a living hell when I was a teenager. It was bad enough that he thought he still had to make me miserable in the here and now whenever he saw me around town. It was bad enough that he was doing his best to make me feel like shit for daring to fall in love with Kirsten.
Well I'd had a revelation earlier tonight. I wasn't putting up with his bullshit. I'd worried that I might fold as soon as I faced him down back home, but there was one crucial difference between that imagined scenario and what was happening now.
I wasn't home. I felt like I could do whatever I wanted here. Even if it was a little stupid.
"Savannah, seriously," Kirsten said. "It's not a big deal! You don't have to do this."
I stopped. Turned to look at her. Looked her up and down. God she was beautiful. She was everything I'd wanted in my life, and I hadn't realized how much I needed it until I met her. She was the whole package, and that whole package was being threatened by assholes like pastor Dan.
Well fuck him.
"No, you were right. I really do have to do this," I said.
"But…"
I reached out and put a finger on her lips. She looked down, going cross eyed, and then smiled.
"Are you sure?" she asked. “You don’t have to do this because of me.”
"I'm positive," I said. "Now let's go tell off that asshole once and for all!"
It was weird. It was almost like our roles had been reversed here in the city. Well that was just fine with me. Something had changed inside me. And it was time to show the world. Where in this case "the world" was narrowly defined as pastor Dan.
I walked up and he continued spewing his hate. "I understand the struggle you're going through. Everyone struggles with sin, but you don't have to. Jesus can…
He stopped. Seemed to realize someone was approaching him for what was probably the first time since he started pulling this crap. He turned and looked, a welcoming smile on his face. I wanted to laugh. As though anyone coming down to this part of the student party zone would ever be interested in anything he had to say.
Well it was time to show him that his wasn't the only voice out there.
His welcoming smile turned to a vicious frown as soon as he realized exactly who he was looking at. Oh yes. The snake was back. He was very good at changing very quickly when he realized he wasn’t getting his way. That someone didn’t agree with his unique brand of “love.” I wanted to reach out and smack him, but I resisted the urge. Which should’ve earned me some sort of fucking medal or something.
It was a strong urge.
"What are you doing here?" he asked.
"I could ask the same of you," I said. "You're the one who isn’t welcome here."
His sneer turned to a self-satisfied smile. He looked down to the police who were suddenly keeping a closer eye on us than they had before.
"Are you telling me I can't come here and protest this sinful lifestyle choice?"
"I can't tell you not to do that, but what I can tell you is you don't have any power over me. Not anymore," I said.
"What are you talking about?"
Confusion. Well that was different from the false sincerity and the anger that were his usual favorites.
"You're an asshole. You’re a snake. You're scum. Everything Kirsten said about you was true," I said.
The sneer was back in an instant. Oh yeah, he was very good at switching that on and off. I felt a shiver, almost as though the old me that was terrified of this man was returning, but I drew strength from knowing Kirsten was right here beside me. I was doing this as much for her as for me.
"You know I only do this out of love for you," he said. "The lifestyle you lead…"
"Is none of your goddamn business. I don't care what your God tells you, what you're preaching is hate. Plain and simple. And if you ever come after me again…"
The sneer turned into a laugh. "If I ever come after you again what? What are you going to do? I'm a pillar of the community. And don't think I'm not going to do anything now that I know the truth about you two. Everyone will know about this!"
His voice was getting louder and louder. Loud eno
ugh that his voice echoed down the street even though he wasn't using his microphone or the PA system any longer. People up and down the sidewalk were turning to look at him as he screamed at the two petite girls standing up to him.
Now that was one hell of an optic. The big bad pastor staring down at a couple of petite girls who were standing up to him. Talk about embarrassing for him. And it was obvious he could tell his act wasn't having any effect. I let him yell at me, let it roll over me, and for a wonder I didn't blush and turn away. No, I remained the same confident and powerful person I’d been when I started this.
Now it was time to end this.
"Fuck you pastor Dan," I said. "You don't have any power over us. You can say whatever the fuck you want, because neither one of us cares. Tell the world! I don't care!"
Now I was the one screaming. And that seemed to annoy him more than me standing up to him. That was also one hell of a change of plans considering Kirsten and I had worked things out nicely earlier in the evening and decided to keep things quiet.
Oops. I guess that wasn’t part of the plan now. I was so angry that it was all spilling out and I didn’t give a fuck, though a small part of me screamed that I might very much give a fuck later when anger wasn’t calling the shots anymore.
"You stupid bitch!" he shouted, the friendly veneer finally coming off completely. Spit flew from his mouth and his face was contorted in rage. Rage the likes of which I'd never seen on him before. Even when he discovered that I had a same-sex crush on one of his precious flock and made me absolutely miserable because he didn’t agree with that choice.
He raised his hand. He was actually going to hit me. It started to come down and I blacked out for a moment as all the pent-up rage I’d felt towards this man for so many years finally boiled over.
Pain. Pain was something I expected, though not in my knuckles of all places. What the hell?
I blinked. Looked at pastor Dan. He was holding his face for some reason. Why on earth was he holding his face like that?