by Ronica Black
“I know how you feel,” Sloane said as their feet sank in the wet, pliable sand. She and Cam had been walking quietly up until then. Sloane with her hands in her pockets and Cam with her flip-flops dangling from her fingers. The sea was headed back out for the evening and the moist, dark sand was spread out before them for miles, marked by small tide pools reflecting the orange of the setting sun. It was a beautiful evening and Sloane sounded thoughtful, seeming to sense Cam’s unease. Whatever she was about to say was bound to have some heartfelt meaning behind it.
“I was so excited for my nephews to meet Kenna when we first started getting serious. I just knew they’d adore her and she them. And that’s exactly what happened. They fell in love with her immediately and I was so thrilled at how well they got on. But soon thereafter I noticed that they’d taken to her a little more than I’d anticipated. They’d all but forgotten about me, following Kenna around, wanting every second of her attention. And Kenna was just as smitten with them.”
She laughed softly into the wind as it whipped her hair.
“But my jealousy was short-lived. Because as I watched them together I came to understand that my nephews were just seeing in Kenna what I did. She’s an amazing human being with a heart that rivals the saints. How could I argue or interfere with that? Why would I want to? So, on our last evening together, I settled back on the couch and smiled as I watched them all bake cookies together in the kitchen. Kenna and my nephews. The people I love most. I’ll never forget that day. And I’ll never forget those cookies. They were the best damn cookies I’d ever had. Because they were made with so much love.”
Sloane glanced over at her. “There’s a reason why your dogs are drawn to her, Cam. They sense how special she is. How good her heart is.”
“I get what you’re saying,” Cam said. “And I can understand why they may like her. But my situation is a little different than yours was with McKenna. I’m not in love with Blake. I don’t feel about her the way you do McKenna or the way my dogs obviously do.”
Cam saw her smile out of the corner of her eye but she didn’t acknowledge it. She just kept staring ahead, trying to stay solely focused on her dogs, even though her eyes kept creeping back to Blake. She couldn’t get over how incredible her ass and thighs looked in those black leggings.
“Have your dogs ever been wrong about anyone?” Sloane asked.
“I know what you’re getting at,” Cam said, wishing she’d drop it.
“So, that’s a no?” She looked ahead to McKenna and Blake, but Cam could see that the smile remained on her face. “Don’t you think it’s possible that they may know something you don’t? That they may see something you’ve yet to see, or maybe don’t want to see?”
“She can be a good person, Sloane. And I’m…sure she probably is. But that doesn’t mean I’ve fallen for her or that I should fall for her. And besides, she’s not a big fan of me either. We just don’t click. I don’t get the person you guys get or the person my dogs see. I get the angry, stubborn, and defiant Blake.”
“Blake can be very stubborn, there’s no doubt about that. She’s a very passionate woman and she puts her all into everything she does and sometimes everything she feels. You’ve got her number, Cam. I’ve never seen anyone get to her the way that you seem to. It’s freaking her out. She’s fighting it. That’s the part of her you’re seeing.”
“I’m not buying it. But regardless of the reason, the part I get is not very appealing.”
“It can be.”
Cam looked at her, sure she’d misheard.
“Nothing incites and feeds a passion better than a mutual resistance to attraction. And the longer that resistance plays out and the more insistent the denial, the more powerful that passion becomes. Until eventually, it can no longer be contained and the resistance, no matter how strong, falters, and that passion is finally released and, well, when it’s released like that after being held in for so long…it makes for some seriously hot sex.”
Cam refocused on the beach ahead of her, disconcerted at where Sloane had taken the discussion. Her body, however, was reacting, on its own. Blake and her beautifully muscled body directly in her line of sight didn’t help matters any. Cam had to stare down at the sand so her mind wouldn’t jump on board with her body.
“You know,” Sloane said. “The kind of sex where you can’t seem to get at each other fast enough. And when you do you attack each other in a frenzy, desperate to get as much of them as you can, because you’ve waited so long, denied your feelings for so long, you feel like you’re going to die—”
“I get the picture,” Cam said, the image of Blake and her fused together at the mouth, kissing and devouring while tearing at each other’s clothes now playing out on a very large screen in her mind.
Sweet Jesus.
She felt woozy, overloaded by Sloane’s compelling suggestion.
“I’m going to turn back. I have some things I need to do at home.”
Sloane nodded, saying nothing more. She yelled for McKenna and motioned for her and Blake to return to them. When Blake and McKenna reached them, along with the dogs, who seemed irritatingly happy, Sloane grabbed McKenna’s hand and headed off with her back toward the house, leaving Cam and Blake alone. Cam started to protest but clenched her jaw in frustration as she realized it would be a waste of breath. She whistled for the dogs and walked away from Blake, following Sloane and McKenna. The dogs, however, didn’t budge. She looked over her shoulder and sighed.
“Damn it, boys, come on.”
They remained at Blake’s side as she walked toward Cam. Cam begrudgingly fell in line next to her, knowing that was the only way she was going to get her dogs home.
“Maybe if you would calm down and relax a little they’d respond to you better,” Blake said without bothering to look at her.
Cam, however, looked at her in complete disbelief. “You’re giving me advice on relaxing? And on how to handle my dogs?”
“They’re choosing to walk with me for a reason,” she said matter-of-factly, reminding Cam of Sloane’s insight. “You should probably take some time to figure out what that reason is. Who knows? Maybe you’ll come to realize that I’m not as uptight and bitchy as you think. That maybe it’s you who needs an attitude adjustment.”
Cam felt her face contort in anger. “You’re delusional, woman.”
“Shall I walk ahead so you can see, once again, your dogs leaving you behind? Because it’s not a delusion. And while you’re busy doing your inner reflecting, you might want to take a look at your considerable need for privacy, which, by the way, is more than obvious. Especially since you seemed to have had no trouble in chiding me on my hesitance to disclose my personal thoughts and feelings to you about something as ridiculous as a romance novel. And should I mention how you also made yet another grand assumption about me? About my inability to enjoy anything?”
“It wasn’t an assumption. It was an observation.” Cam was nearly speaking through clenched teeth she was trying so hard to hold her anger back. She couldn’t believe the nerve of this woman.
“An observation? You’ve known me for what, a couple of weeks? Spent all of a few hours with me and you think you’ve made an accurate observation?”
“I know I’ve only seen you enjoy one thing since you’ve arrived. Wine. If there’s been something else, I must’ve missed it. And from what I heard tonight, it sounds like Sloane and McKenna must’ve missed it too. It sounds to me like, not only do you not enjoy much of anything, but you don’t even really want to. Why else would you be so eager to leave? Sloane has told me how much you love the beach. So why aren’t you enjoying it?”
Blake stopped and turned to Cam with her hands on her hips.
“You want to know why I want to leave and why I’m not enjoying myself here?”
Cam saw the fierceness in the set of her jaw and the hurricane that had blown in to cloud the Caribbean Sea of her eyes. She knew what she was about to say and it made her mad as hell.
“You’re blaming me? I’m the sole reason why you’re so unhappy?” She shook her head and laughed in disbelief. “Well, here’s a newsflash, Blake. The feeling is mutual. So, if you want to use me as an excuse to go back home, then go right ahead. You won’t get any objection from me.”
It will be a relief and I’m already anticipating it. I just hope you don’t keep reappearing if you do happen to succeed in opening your clinic.
Byron jumped up on Cam then, his muddy paws resting on her hip. Bo and Bingo were next to him, ears back, stepping in place. Bo whined and Byron yipped at her. They were distressed by the heated arguing. She stroked Byron’s head and reached down to pet the other two. She felt terrible. They’d never seen her lose control like this.
“Let’s just get back to the house,” Cam said, softening her voice for the benefit of the dogs. “Think you can manage to hold your tongue that long?”
They started walking again and Blake gave her a very obvious forced smile and spoke with a sugary sweet voice. “I don’t know, Cam, can I? You tell me. Since you claim to be so insightful when it comes to me.”
“I’d say it’s highly doubtful.”
Blake laughed again. “I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. You don’t know me.”
“And I’ll repeat what I said in response to that statement back at the fish market. I don’t think I want to know you.”
Blake looked stung.
“It’s no wonder these dogs are so starved for attention from a woman. There probably hasn’t been a single one who was willing to give you the time of day, even if they were initially lured in by your looks. As soon as they saw through that exterior, that was all she wrote. That’s why there hasn’t been anyone. That’s why you’re alone.”
Cam balled her fists and trembled. An excruciating ache tightened her chest and it hurt to breathe. Her eyes began to water and she tore her gaze from Blake and stormed away. She didn’t pay attention to whether or not her dogs followed and she didn’t pay any attention to Sloane and McKenna when she passed them by, leaving their questions of concern unanswered. She just kept walking, head held low, body stiff and rigid from the pent-up pain that was just about killing her as it tried to claw its way out.
She kept walking until she came to her patio. She rushed up the steps, crashed into the house, and headed straight for her bedroom. Once there, she grabbed the framed photo she’d had at her bedside for the past four years. She smoothed her hand over the photograph, curled into a ball on her bed and burst into tears, holding Lexi tightly to her heart as the pain finally bled out.
Chapter Twenty
Blake sat in the sand hugging her knees, watching the ocean’s rhythmic churning. Her pulse and her breathing were beginning to slow from her run, but she was mostly mindless to her physical state. The strands of wind-whipped hair stinging her face were also ignored. Her stare soon went beyond the vastness of the sea and her thoughts grew equally as distant. But they, unlike her stare, had a focal point. Cam. Regardless of how hard she tried, her mind wouldn’t veer from what had happened on that after-dinner walk two days before.
She couldn’t shake what was said, how she’d been hurt by Cam’s words and how Cam had seemed terribly hurt by hers. And she couldn’t shake what had happened when she’d followed Cam to her house, worried about the pain-riddled look that had come over her just before she’d hurried away, leaving her beloved dogs behind without even looking back. She’d rushed up her patio steps and into her house without another word, slamming the door closed behind her.
Blake had been so perturbed that she’d dismissed McKenna’s and Sloane’s questions as she and the dogs hurried after her.
Blake could still recall how cool the steps had felt on her bare feet as she and the dogs hurried up them. She remembered how quiet everything seemed to be, save for the waves and the blowing wind. She’d knocked softly on the door as the dogs pawed at it, staring up at her in confusion. She’d waited. And waited. Then knocked again. But Cam hadn’t answered and Blake’s concern had grown. The anguish that had come over Cam and the way she’d taken off, had differed greatly from her usual calm manner. And what had come over her face instead was more than the avoidance and distress Blake had witnessed in her the night they’d been with Alberto. Something was seriously wrong, and the dogs seemed to have sensed it as well, and they’d started whining in addition to scratching at the door.
Blake had known she couldn’t leave them outside. That’s what she’d told herself when she’d knocked again and then carefully eased open the unlocked door. She’d called for Cam, though not outrageously loud for fear of startling her, as she’d stepped inside. The dogs had bolted ahead, searching for her, and they’d disappeared into a room beyond the kitchen. There had been no further movement and no answer to her second call. She’d stood near the kitchen, debating what to do while looking at the dark entryway to the quiet room. Her anxiety had escalated as she’d whispered for the boys, hoping at the very least that they would respond and give her some sort of sign that things were okay. But they hadn’t come.
She’d taken a step, then changed her mind and turned to leave. But there had been something in her that wouldn’t allow her to go. The need to know that Cam was okay had won out and she’d crossed to that room and had just about announced herself again when she’d heard it. She’d froze, the sound instantly recognizable and so heartbreaking, Blake had gone limp with heavy sorrow and she’d covered her mouth to stifle her own tears. She’d heard Cam crying, sobbing, and Blake had turned and left, feeling responsible and like she’d intruded on a very private moment.
She hadn’t seen Cam since and she knew Cam had spent most of those subsequent days away from home. She knew because she’d been checking for her Jeep, hoping for the chance to go offer an apology, to see, at the very least, if they could somehow call a truce. But the few times Blake had seen her Jeep it had been late at night and Cam hadn’t been out on her patio at dawn when Blake had gone for her runs. So, she’d stayed away and told herself it was out of respect, but deep down she knew it was also because she feared rejection and feared that she’d only cause more trouble.
And now she’d just finished another run, her second of the day. Her inability to sleep and to sit still were unnerving, and she was caught between an agitating restlessness and extended periods of mindlessness. McKenna and Sloane were worried. She hadn’t yet filled them in on the situation with Cam, so when she couldn’t sleep, she slipped outside and sat seaside, looking up at a night sky so completely covered in stars she often stared until her neck began to ache. When she grew restless during the day, she went for runs or long walks, going until she was too far away or too tired to continue. But the distractions were only temporary, and Cam always quickly returned to her thoughts.
She sunk her hand into the thick, warm sand. She knew she needed to clue McKenna and Sloane in. She couldn’t avoid them forever and they’d only keep worrying. She lifted a handful of sand and then spread her fingers, watching as the sand filtered through. She repeated the motion again and again, finding it strangely soothing. She became so engrossed she nearly jumped out of her skin when someone approached.
“Did you run this far?” Sloane asked as she eased down next to her. She didn’t seem to realize she’d startled her.
“Uh-huh.”
What is she doing here?
“I almost gave up looking for you a half a mile back. Didn’t think you were running this far down the beach.”
“I like it here. It’s really quiet. No people.”
“Yeah, I guess the lack of homes here kind of assures that.” She glanced over her shoulder at the dunes behind them. The row of houses came to an end close to a mile back. “Probably won’t be this way for long. I’m sure they’ll continue to develop eventually.”
Blake clasped her hands together around her knees again and returned her attention to the water. She was surprised to see Sloane, or anyone for that matter, and she was a little alarmed.
“You didn’t walk here did you?” She’d seemed to appear from an angle from behind, like she’d come from the road that paralleled the houses rather than the beach.
“I started to, but Kenna suggested I drive after reminding me of your abilities as a marathon runner. So, I drove and kept an eye out for you as best I could. Good thing I didn’t give up.”
“Has something happened?” Blake asked. “That you needed to find me?”
“I thought you might like to take that ride to look at real estate you’ve been so keen on.”
Blake was slow to respond. Sloane’s offer to finally take her to explore possible locations for the clinic was the last thing she’d expected to hear. And the urge she’d had to do that very thing had been, believe it or not, the last thing on her mind. She hadn’t thought about the clinic since her last encounter with Cam. In the past, she had always, always carried on with the pursuance of her goals no matter what obstacle she came up against. So, why had she been derailed now? If anything, she should’ve been more determined than ever to do her exploring so she could leave the beach and never have to think about Cam again.
“Okay, what’s going on?” Sloane asked. “You’ve been an insomniatic space cadet since that walk with Cam. I know something went down between you two, and I respect that you haven’t wanted to talk about it. But I thought for sure that offering to go for that drive would have you racing for the car.”
“That’s fine,” Blake said softly. “We can go.” She stood, careful to brush off the sand away from Sloane. Sloane stood too and they headed through the short batch of dunes to the SUV.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Sloane asked as they drove toward town.
“Not especially.” Her arm was resting on the windowsill, the wind flying through her raised fingers. It was early afternoon and balmy with the temperature in the seventies. McKenna and Sloane were right. The fall months were absolutely beautiful here.