‘So I won’t.’
‘I’m so glad.’
He grinned at me, and I couldn’t help but return it. He took a couple of steps back towards his own room.
‘Sure you’re ok?’
‘I’m sure, Rob. Really.’
‘All right, but just let me know if anything hurts later, or tomorrow. As I said earlier, my mate’s only round the corner.’
‘If I’m not going to let you rub anything better, then what makes you think I’m going to let anyone else have a go?’
Rob looked happily puzzled. ‘My mate’s a doctor.’
‘Ohhhhh! Yes. Right. You did say that.’
Rob took a couple of steps back towards me again and leant over and opened the door. As it had apparently become clear I wasn’t to be trusted with these things myself.
‘Night, Izz.’
‘Night, Rob.’
He bent down and kissed me on the cheek.
‘Sleep well.’ he said before turning and heading towards the bathroom. I watched him go. It was kind of hard not to. He looked pretty gorgeous in a suit. In pyjama bottoms and a t-shirt he looked… I stopped myself. What on Earth was I doing? This was Rob. We were friends. And he’d even said earlier he wasn’t looking for anything from me, other than friendship. And I wasn’t looking for anything other than that right now either. If I was, I’d have jumped on the hot Italian from earlier. But I didn’t. Because I wasn’t ready for anything like that in my life right now. But I still couldn’t help watching Rob walk away. My eyes slid to his feet. No socks. Ha! I knew it. Sabotage.
Chapter Six
I was sat on the floor of Rob’s living room the next morning, my papers spread all around me, when he wandered in, still dressed in his pyjama bottoms and t-shirt. His face had a sleepy look to it and his jaw showed a distinct hint of scruff.
‘Morning.’
‘Morning!’ I replied, my eyes going back to my work.
‘How’s your bum?’
‘Absolutely fine, thank you. Yours?’
He laughed and shoved a coffee pot sachet in his machine and pressed a button. Leaving it to run, he came over and crouched down to where I was sat with his lovely warm blanket around me. He pulled it back and peered around it, and the acres of pyjama top, to where I was sat on a large and, more importantly, soft cushion. He brought his gaze up to where I was purposefully avoiding meeting it.
‘Ok. So I bruised it a bit.’
He let the blanket fall back and stood up.
‘Did you get yourself coffee?’
‘No, I thought I’d wait for you.’ I glanced up.
He smiled at me and a few minutes later placed two cups of coffee and a pile of toast on the breakfast bar. I climbed up from my perch atop the cushion and padded over to one of the seats facing the window. Rob took the one next to me. I picked up one of the coffees. Wrapping my hands around it, I looked out at the snow.
‘Doesn’t look like it’s stopped all night.’
He shook his head. ‘Nope.’ he said, simply, snagging a piece of toast and leaning back in his chair to reach for a knife for the marmalade out of the drawer. I watched him for a moment and pictured the scene ending badly. Hopping up, I walked over the few steps to the cutlery drawer, pulled it out, took a knife and handed it to Rob.
‘Oh thanks.’ he said, oblivious to the scenario I’d run in my head.
I returned to my chair and hoisted myself back up onto it. It occurred to me that this was the perfect situation in which to find myself feeling self-conscious. I was sat in someone else’s kitchen, wearing someone else’s pyjamas and little else. But I didn’t. And it wasn’t just the fact that Rob’s top was about three times bigger than some of my dresses. It just felt comfortable with him. Talking. Not talking. Getting up to get cutlery for him so that we didn’t end up with matching bruised bums.
‘What are you working on?’ he asked, nodding his head to the side at the pile of stuff I’d left on the floor.
‘I have a bride who’s getting married in a castle, over in Ireland, and she wants a dress that reflects the history, but doesn’t look like a costume.’
Rob took another bite of toast and swallowed. ‘Can you do that?’
I nodded. ‘Of course.’
We sat for a few more moments.
‘Rob, I think I need to try and get over to Mags’ place today. It’s obvious I’m still not going to get home but I can’t stay here again–’
‘Why not?’ He wasn’t tetchy. He was just asking.
‘Well, because I’m sure you’ve got plenty of things to do and I just…’ have no idea what I’m trying to say.
‘Look out there, Izz. I don’t think anyone’s going to be doing much of anything today apart from staying in and keeping warm. Which is a plan that sounds pretty damn good to me. I know you’d probably prefer to be at Mags’ place right now, and if that’s what you really want, I’ll do my best to help you get there – but I can pretty much guarantee that those shoes you love so much will be completely ruined by the time you do.’
Oh yes. Right. Snow plus gorgeous new shoes which were certainly not made for navigating snowy pavements. Yep, he had a point. That was a bit of an issue.
‘This “Castle Bride”, is that something you have to get done this weekend?’
I nodded. ‘Well, yes, ideally. I said I’d send her something over, just some basic ideas to start with, by the end of tomorrow.’
‘Ok. Well, I’ve got some papers to look at too so if you’re happy that you have everything you need to get on with things here, then why don’t we just get our work done and reassess the situation later?’
‘Ok.’ I nodded.
‘Great! Oh, your dress should be dry. I put it in the machine last night.’
‘Oh, thanks!’ I hopped up from my seat and moved over to dishwasher where I began loading the breakfast plates in.
‘I’m just going to take a shower. Unless you want to go first?’ Rob hesitated at the doorway.
‘No, it’s fine,’ I said, now reaching in to the dryer to pull out my clothes, ‘I’ll just– oh no!’
‘What’s wrong?’ He frowned, padding back in slowly.
I pulled my dress out of the dryer and laid it over the back of the seat. Rob glanced at it.
‘Am I missing something because it looks – oh!’
I was holding up my beautiful designer cashmere cardigan. The colour of cornflowers in summer, I’d spent ages deciding whether to buy it, and had finally splashed out in celebration when my very first bride walked down the aisle. As soft and gorgeous as I’d imagined, and adding style and elegance to my outfit, it had been perfect. And it was still perfect. Assuming you were the size of a three-year-old.
I still hadn’t said anything and Rob still hadn’t moved any closer.
‘I’m guessing that label must say “Do Not Tumble”.’ he eventually volunteered.
A nod and a strangulated noise came from me as I laid my gorgeous, now tiny, cardi on the counter. There really was no rectifying this. It was gone.
‘I’m so sorry, Izzy. I’ll get you another one.’
I shook my head and finally looked at him. ‘It’s all right. Really. It’s just a jumper.’ Which was true. It was just a jumper. Just some wool all knitted up. That’s all. And I knew that Rob would want to replace it, whatever I said. It’s just that this one had such special memories attached to it – that first dress, all the way from design to completion. And the bride had been so insistent on having me there on the day because she was so happy with her dress and wanted to share that joy with me. And now I wouldn’t wear it again. I felt stupid at being upset over a bunch of wool, but there we are.
‘It’s not just a jumper though, is it?’ Rob asked.
I looked back up and shoved all the silliness aside. ‘Of course it is. Don’t worry about it! Thank you for drying the rest of my clothes, anyway,’ I hurried over in my head the fact that my underwear was also in there, and Rob would have had a good eyeful of that.
> He held my gaze a moment then turned and headed back towards the bedrooms. ‘You can grab a shower first if you’d like. I’m going for a run.’
‘What, now?’ I called to him.
‘Yes,’ came the reply from behind the now closed bedroom door.
‘But it’s feet deep in snow! You’ll break your bloody neck!’
There was no reply. A few minutes later, Rob appeared wearing running leggings, thankfully with shorts over them. Lovely as any man in good shape looks, running leggings are not a good look. He was zipping up a breathable jacket and a hat was pulled down over his ears. He finished lacing his shoes then pulled on his gloves. All the time I was stood just watching. I knew this was something to do with me, and I didn’t like it.
‘Rob, this is ridiculous.’
‘What is?’
‘You, doing this.’
‘Izz, I go running most weekends.’
‘Yes, but five minutes ago, you weren’t going. Then we go have Cardi-Gate and the next minute you’re heading out in several feet of snow for a run.’
‘It’s nothing to do with that, Izzy. Really. Yes, I feel bad that I ruined your top. But as you said, it’s just a jumper, so I’ll replace it, and we’ll be all square. This? This is just about me feeling like going for a run.’
I didn’t believe it for a moment. And he knew I didn’t. We both knew that the jumper wasn’t just a jumper either and it was all raging out of control, and yet neither of us were prepared to say anything, just pretending everything was all absolutely fine. When clearly it wasn’t. I was upset and pretending I wasn’t. He was upset that I was upset but pretending that he didn’t know I was upset, so that we could both go on with this ridiculous charade. This was exactly why I should have gone to a hotel last night. Complications like this don’t happen at hotels. Yes, they might still have shrunk my cardigan but I could have happily yelled at them and asked them why they didn’t read the labels. Rob, on the other hand, I couldn’t even begin to be angry with because he’d just been trying to be helpful and had done so much to make the evening relaxed and pleasant. Oh God! Why hadn’t I just stood my ground and gone to a hotel!
Rob’s movements brought me back out of my trance. ‘Rob, really. This is just silly. Look at it out there!’ I pointed to the window where the snow was coming down again. ‘You’ll freeze!’
‘Thermals,’ was all he said.
I didn’t have a reply for that one.
‘Rob, please. Come on, it’s horrid out there.’
‘Izzy, stop worrying. I’ve been out in far worse conditions than this on manoeuvres in the past.’ He turned to fish his keys out of the bowl on the side.
‘Yes, but that was only because there was someone telling you you had to go! Probably someone quite short and shouty!’
Rob looked at me meaningfully but said nothing.
I threw my head back. ‘Argh! You’re impossible!’
‘Not the first time that’s been said.’ he replied, pulling open the door.
‘Apparently, you haven’t improved.’
‘Doesn’t look like it.’ he agreed, ‘See you in a bit.’ With that, he closed the door behind him and left me in the silence of the flat.
I felt a little better after a shower and hair wash but not a lot. Rob still wasn’t back and my mind kept racing off into scenarios where he was spread eagled on the pavement with his limbs pointing in positions that they really shouldn’t. I needed to focus my mind. I stepped into my dress and pulled on the socks that Rob had lent me last night instead of the lace topped stockings I’d had on in the day. Which also would have been in the washing machine. Oh flip. Oh well. He’d seen it all now. I was mostly warm but without my cardi, my arms were definitely on the chilly side. Wandering out into the main area, I noticed some laundry folded next to the dryer. Nosing through it, I found a Help For Heroes sweatshirt. Unfolding it, I pulled it over my head and waited for it to settle under my bum. Heading over to where I’d spread out my work this morning, I sat down gently on my cushion and began looking at the drawings.
An hour later I was just putting the last finishing strokes of colour to a design when I heard a key turn in the lock. I pushed myself up from where I had sprawled and watched as Rob walked through the door. His nose was shining as red and bright as the festive lights at Covent Garden Apple Market and he was rubbing his hands together in an effort to boost circulation.
‘Good run?’ I asked.
‘Yep.’ he replied, bending down to undo his laces.
‘How many times did you fall?’
‘Just the once.’
‘Are you all right?’
‘Yep.’
I shook my head and got up, padding across to where he was still bent over fighting with his laces. I watched for a second before bending down to the same level. I could see his frozen hands were struggling with the soaking laces.
‘Here.’ I pushed his hands out of the way.
‘No, it’s fine. Really, I can–’ He attempted to move my hands.
I didn’t reply. Just pushed his own back out of the way again and slid down on the floor so that my feet were either side of my hips. He’d made a right mess of the ties and I peered at them, before focussing in on the right end to start with.
Rob leant back and sat his bum on the floor, finally accepting he wasn’t going to win this one.
‘How do you even sit like that?’ he asked after a moment, a hint of amusement in his voice.
‘It’s comfy.’ I replied, concentration creasing my face, ‘I’m really quite bendy.’
‘Good to know.’ He laughed, softly.
I pulled a lace and it came free! ‘Ta dah!’
Rob pulled the other one, and I could see his hands were turning a bit more of a normal colour.
‘Thanks.’
‘You’re welcome.’
He quickly pushed himself up from the floor and held down a hand for me to grab on to. I did so and was propelled upward into a standing position far quicker than I expected.
‘Ooh!’ I wobbled, ‘Headrush.’
‘Sorry,’ Rob was apologetic as he steadied me, ‘I’m used to heaving blokes up off the rugby field. You’re a bit lighter.’
I acknowledged the likelihood of that.
‘I’m going to take a shower. I picked up some lunch on the way back.’
‘Ok. Yes, go and warm up, for goodness’ sake. I’ll make us some drinks.’
I was just dishing up the soup and warm bread Rob had brought back with him when he walked back into the kitchen. He was dressed in a pair of well-worn cargo trousers with a loose t-shirt over the top. Rummaging in the same laundry pile I’d gone through earlier, he pulled out a hoody and slipped it on. He took the dishes, put them in place on the breakfast bar, and turned to take the plate of bread.
‘I like this look.’ he said, smiling at the, admittedly eclectic, style I’d ended up with today.
‘Do you?’ I laughed. I was pretty sure I looked ridiculous but I didn’t really mind. It was only Rob, after all. It’s not like I was trying to impress anyone.
‘I do.’
‘I hope you don’t mind me borrowing your sweatshirt. It was a bit chilly.’
‘Of course not. Looks good on you.’ He winked at me in a jokey way. ‘I can turn the heating up more if you want.’
‘No! I’m fine now. Really.’
We tucked into the nourishing fresh soup and delicious bread.
‘This is lovely!’ I said, tasting it for the first time.
‘Glad you like it. I didn’t know what you’d want, but I know you’re not picky so thought you’d probably be happy with what I chose.’
‘You know me well.’ I laughed. It was true. I pretty much ate anything.
‘Not that well.’ he replied, keeping his head down and soaking up the last drops of his soup with a hunk of bread, before popping it in his mouth.
I moved around on the bar chair to face him.
‘What’s that supposed to mean?
’
He didn’t look at me for a while. I waited, watching him watching the snow. I could wait. I would wait him out. Like they always said on TV. Let them fill the space. Oh God, who was I kidding? I couldn’t wait.
‘I said, what’s that supposed to mean?’
‘I rang Mags when I was out.’
‘Ok.’ I said. I had no idea where this was going.
‘I could see I’d messed up big time with your jumper this morning–’
‘Rob, please! Forget about–’
‘No, Izzy. You should have told me what it meant to you. Why it was a big deal. Not just said that it didn’t matter. Because it does. And if it matters to you, then it matters to me.’
‘Oh Rob! It was an accident. Yes, I was upset! Ok? Does that make you feel better? I was upset that the beautiful cardigan I’d splashed out on in celebration for my first wedding gown is now the size of baby clothes! I am not happy about that – but neither you, nor I, can do anything to change that, so I’m not going to get into a state about it. It’s not like you did it on purpose! You were being kind. I can’t get angry at you for that.’
He sat up straighter at the counter, forcing me to tilt my head up to look at him.
‘I’m really sorry, Izzy. I will buy you another. I know it won’t be the same, but at least you won’t have to wear that any more.’
He pointed to the sweatshirt. It was actually pretty comfy.
‘Well, no, not in public…’
He grinned and unexpectedly kissed me quickly on my cheek before standing and scooping up the dishes.
‘Rob?’ I asked, pulling out two hot chocolate pots for his drinks machine.
‘Umhmm?’
‘Why did you ring Mags?’
He stood up from stacking the dishwasher. ‘Because I could tell there was more to this than you were telling me. You’re not generally prone to drama. You love your clothes but you were really upset over this,’ he held up my tiny cardigan, ‘so I knew there was something special about it, but you wouldn’t tell me what. So I had to go to the next best source.’
‘I see. And you got your answer, obviously.’
‘Well I got the idea that I was on the right track when I told Mags what I’d done and she asked whether I was calling her from beyond the grave.’
Winter’s Fairytale Page 6