by Mike Shevdon
"Oh, Niall, thank God you're here. We've been trying to get hold of you all afternoon."
The nurse looked nonplussed and then turned and walked back to the station, apparently happy that I was indeed Alex's father.
"Where is she? What's happened?"
Katherine took a deep breath, stepping back. "There's been a terrible accident."
"Is she OK?"
"They're treating her now."
"Can I see her?"
"No one is allowed in. They won't even let me in."
"What happened?"
"She was at school. No one knows what went wrong. We were told an hour ago that three girls are dead."
"Dead!"
"They were found in a changing room. Kayleigh, Alex's friend, raised the alarm. There was some sort of biological contamination. Everyone who had any contact with it has been brought here."
"What in hell happened?"
"They've quarantined the school, no one is allowed on site. Some sort of specialist unit has been brought in to deal with it all. The doctor came by half an hour ago and told us that they were doing everything they can to save Alex, but it's touch and go."
"What does that mean?"
"I don't know, Niall. That's all they would say. The doctor said they were specialists, the best in the country, and they were doing everything they could."
I held my hand up to pause her, then went back to the nurses' station.
"Excuse me. I would like to see my daughter, please?"
"It's Mr Petersen. Is that right?"
"Yes." She knew perfectly well who I was.
"I've asked the consultant to come and see you. He asked me to notify him when you arrived."
"Fine. I'd like to see my daughter."
"I'm afraid that's not possible at the moment, Mr Petersen."
"Why not?"
"I don't know if you're aware, but this is a specialist isolation unit. We treat everything here from the ebola virus to smallpox. We have very strict protocols which must be followed absolutely to the letter for public health reasons. I'm afraid you will only be able to see your daughter when the consultant gives the all-clear. I'm really sorry, I know this must be hard for you, but that is the way it has to be."
"I want to see whoever's in charge."
"The consultant is on his way."
"Good."
I turned away, angry at being thwarted but anxious not to show my anger. It would get me nowhere in this environment. I walked slowly back to where Katherine and Barry waited. They were holding hands, but dropped them guiltily as I turned towards them. In a moment of clarity I could see that the only reason Katherine wasn't throwing herself at the walls was because Barry was being her rock.
I went to stand with them.
"They won't let me see her either; it was worth a try, I suppose. Barry, I can't tell you how much I appreciate you being with us. I know Alex would want you here." I offered my hand and he took it, pressing it long and slow.
"I couldn't bear to be anywhere else. You know she means a lot to me."
I nodded, conscious of the relief on Katherine's face.
"It's the same for all of us," I lied, and pressed Barry's hand into mine, offering what little comfort I could, knowing that his pain was so much less than my own.
"What else do we know?" I asked him.
"A consultant came to see us, but he wanted you to be here."
"So we wait?"
"We wait."
Katherine went back into the waiting room and sat on the edge of the vinyl-covered armchair biting her nails. Barry and I sat in the corridor, watching the hallway for signs of movement. It occurred to me that I could break into the area where Alex was, if I wanted to, but that I had no idea what awaited me there. This was unknown territory for me and my training had taught me caution.
We didn't have long to wait. A man in a dark suit appeared at the nursing station. He glanced at us and then turned away, speaking at length with the nurse in quiet assured tones. Then he nodded to her and came to meet us. I stood, as did Barry. Katherine appeared, warned by our movement.
She spoke first. "Is there any news?"
"I'm Mr Phillips." He offered his hand to me and answered Katherine's question. "No, I'm afraid there's no change."
"I'm Alex's father," I told him.
"I'm glad you're here. I need to explain what's happening and obtain your consent."
I noticed the sheaf of papers in his hand. The close, tight printing spoke of indemnity clauses.
"Consent for what?" Katherine beat me to the question.
"I'll explain it all. Shall we sit in here?" He glanced at Barry. "I… ah… only need Alexandra's genetic parents' consent."
"Barry is staying with me." Katherine caught his hand as he turned away and drew him into the room with us.
The doctor caught my eye.
"It's OK," I told him. "Barry should hear this too."
"As long as you're comfortable with that."
We sat on unsuitable chairs around a table that was too low.
The consultant adopted an official tone, presumably reserved for moments like this. "Your daughter has been involved in an incident at her school, as you know. This type of incident is very unusual, but fortunately we have protocols in place that can be applied. There has been some degree of biological contamination…"
"What does that mean?" I interrupted him. "What is biological contamination?"
"It's a term used to describe a range of incidents, but in this case it means that your daughter has been affected by a dangerous pathological contaminant. I don't want to get too technical, but you must understand that this is a most serious situation. We were unable to save three of the girls involved and I have had the unpleasant duty of informing their families earlier. Your daughter's condition is… uncertain at best. In cases like this we have been most successful when we have intervened, but we need your consent to do that."
There was something in his tone. My Fey senses told me that he was telling the truth as he saw it, but there were undercurrents in his words that left me uneasy.
"Why won't you tell us what's wrong with her?" I asked him outright.
"Mr Petersen, I have a duty to your daughter and to some extent also to you. I also have a duty to the public not to cause unnecessary panic. We have the situation contained and there is no cause for public concern, but I am unwilling to divulge the exact nature of the contamination as it might draw unnecessary and unwanted attention. It is difficult enough for the families concerned without the press becoming involved. Believe me, there is nothing worse at a time like this than having reporters camped out on your lawn. So far, the nationals have been satisfied with the press release. They have been offered an explanation that there was a hazardous build-up of pressure in the sewers and that the resulting explosion caused the fatalities. This isn't the whole truth, but it is sufficient for their purposes. They are concentrating on the human interest aspects of the story."
"Is this the school's fault?" I asked him. "Did they do the proper maintenance?"
"I can assure you, Mr Petersen, that there will be a formal investigation but our initial findings indicate that there is no way that the school could have prevented what happened. Thankfully, this is a highly unusual occurrence involving a rare form of biological contamination and quite beyond their capacity to prevent or predict."
"But you won't tell us what."
"You understand my position. My priority is with your daughter."
"Just give us the damn forms." Katherine's voice cut across us both.
Mr Phillips spread the forms out on the coffee table. The print was tiny and I guessed that even if we were legally trained we would be there until dawn if we truly wanted to understand the implications of what we were signing.
"Where do we sign?" I asked him.
"Let me explain firstly that you are giving your consent for us to take whatever action we deem necessary to save your daughter. I am not asking for thi
s lightly. Once we intervene things could move quite quickly and we can't keep running back to you to ask if it's OK to proceed. I am asking for this in the knowledge that we were unable to save the other three girls."
He paused, letting the words sink in. I nodded, accepting his case.
"If you would sign this general release here and here and initial it there," he marked the points with an X, "and these specific releases here and here." He offered me his ballpoint.
I took the pen and signed the forms. Katherine waited until I had signed all of them and then took the ballpoint from me and signed them too.
"Can we see her now?"
Mr Phillips looked surprised. "I'm afraid that's completely out of the question. She's in total isolation."
"Dammit!" My fist smashed on to the table. Katherine started at the noise. The sound reverberated in the small room. "We need to see her! We're her parents! We have rights!" It was only then I realised I was shouting.
The consultant raised his hands, half defensively, half placatingly. "Not until the all-clear is given, I'm afraid. This is a very serious matter."
"Steady, old chap," said Barry. "The man's only doing his job."
"You don't…" I ran out of steam as I caught Katherine's eye and she shook her head minutely. "Sorry, Barry. Sorry. I just wanted…"
Mr Phillips stood up, relieved to be rescued and too obviously wanting to be gone before I started shouting again.
Katherine stood and held out her hand to the consultant. "Please do everything you can," she told him. "Bring me back my girl."
He shook her hand and then offered his hand to me and then also to Barry. "We will do everything in our power," he said, his words ringing with certainty for once, and then turned and walked out. I listened to his footsteps fade down the corridor.
I sighed and collapsed back into the chair. I felt so helpless. I had consigned my daughter into the hands of the professionals in the blind hope that they knew what they were doing. My fears were reflected in Katherine's eyes as she hugged Barry's chest close to her, all the while watching me over his shoulder. We had both made our decision but neither of us was sure we had done the right thing.
The next few hours were torture. Initially I went to the nurses' station and asked for news every ten minutes. It was a discipline for me to wait the full ten minutes before I went to ask her again. Eventually the nurse asked me as gently as she could to stop pestering her. She promised to come and find us all as soon as there was any news.
I drank coffee. I tried to focus on the ancient newspapers and tatty magazines that were spread around the waiting room but I found myself reading the same sentence again and again without comprehension.
"I'm going outside to phone Blackbird," I told Katherine. "She'll be worried too."
"If anything happens, Barry will come and get you straightaway, won't you, Barry?" Barry nodded his agreement.
I stopped at the nurses' station and told her where I was going. She promised to send someone for me if anything changed.
I went back to the lift, descended to the ground floor and walked through reception out into the heavy night air. It was cooler, the sort of night when the light haloed around the street lamps. I used the speed dial on my mobile to call Blackbird. She picked up on the first ring.
"Hello?" Her voice sounded thin and reedy.
"It's me. Were you asleep?"
"No. What's happening?"
"I don't know. They're treating her now. The waiting is driving me crazy."
"It was on the six o'clock news. They're saying that it was a sewer gas explosion."
"It's more complicated than that. They say there's been some sort of contamination. They're being very closed-mouthed about it. They're trying to keep it from the press. Whatever it is, it sounds serious."
"Did they say she was going to be OK?"
"No, just that they would do their best."
"That's all you can ask for, Niall."
"I know."
"How's Katherine holding up?"
"She's OK. Same as me really. She has Barry with her."
There was a pause.
"I'll come if you want me to, Niall."
"No, it's OK. You'll never get a train at this time and a taxi would cost the earth."
One of the things I had discovered about Blackbird was that she had never learned to drive. With her magic she had never needed to, but now that she was pregnant and her magic had failed her, she found herself marooned by lack of transport.
"I'll call you as soon as we have news," I assured her.
"Do, please." She sounded small, but the depth of feeling came through, despite the tinny line.
"I'd better get back in case there's news."
"OK, give Katherine a hug for me."
"I will. Take care."
"You too. Bye."
I clicked the phone off and took a deep breath and walked back into the fluorescent brightness, making my way back up to the isolation unit.
As soon as I appeared, the nurse said, "No news."
I smiled weakly and went back to join Katherine and Barry.
They roused themselves as soon as I appeared, then fell back into their chairs as they realised that it was only me. I returned to the armchair, the vinyl cushions wheezing as I sank into it. We sat apart, each with our private thoughts. I suspected that, like me, they were each thinking of the things they would have done differently had they known it would come to this.
When the man appeared in the doorway we all started. None of us had heard him approach. It wasn't Mr Philips, the consultant, but another man, grey-bearded and wearing a shabby jacket over a grey sweater.
"Mr and Mrs Dobson?" He glanced at the three of us.
"Yes?" Katherine answered.
I stood up. "I'm Niall Petersen. I'm Alex's father."
"And you are?" he said gently to Barry.
"I'm her stepfather. They're divorced." He nodded to Katherine and me. It sounded vaguely like an accusation.
"Have you heard?"
"Did it work?"
"Is she OK?"
Our three questions clashed as we searched his face for answers.
He came in and sat down between us.
"My name is David Beetham. I'm not a doctor. I'm a grief counsellor."
He watched us process that information.
"There's no easy way to say this, but I'm afraid I have to tell you that your daughter died a short time ago."
TWO
The worst thing was that they wouldn't let us see the body. Both Katherine and I wanted to see her, just to say goodbye and to be able to believe what had happened. Barry was mute, unable to find anything to say that would touch the grief in Katherine and me. He had been fond of Alex, perhaps he had even loved her, but she wasn't his daughter.
The grief counsellor was kind but firm. "It's out of the question, I'm afraid," he said. "The protocols that come into force in these circumstances are very strict. There is to be no risk of contamination."
He paused, seeing that there was no recognition of his protocols from either me or Katherine.
He tried again. "It is a terrible tragedy that your daughter is dead. It would be a much greater tragedy and a gross neglect of responsibility if anyone else died because we had not been as careful and as cautious as we possibly could be."
"We just want to see our girl," Katherine wailed, and then dissolved into another bout of helpless sobbing into Barry's chest.
I stood alone, my fists clenched into tight wads of flesh, the tendons on my wrists standing out like wires as I tried to contain the anger that welled up within me. The need to see her, one last time, was raw in me. I knew that I could reach her despite anything they could do to stop me, but also that if I even so much as acknowledged the dark hot core that dwelt within me, it would feed on my anger and release a power that would be beyond my ability to control. No one would be safe, not the counsellor, not Barry and not Katherine.
"Is it such a lot to ask
?" I ground my teeth, biting down on the anger that wanted release.
"Mr Petersen, I'm truly sorry. If we had a choice then we would allow it, but we do not. The wider safety implications have complete precedence. Is there someone to take you home, perhaps? Is there someone waiting for you?"
"There is someone, but…" Wiping unwanted tears from my eyes with the heel of my hand, I tried to breathe. I wasn't sure I could tell Blackbird. What explanation could I give? Alex was dead, but saying those words would somehow make them more real.