“Now we both know you won’t do that, but for arguments sake, fine. I won’t buy you a camera but you’re going to have to get over this aversion to receiving gifts.”
His voice rings with finality so I don’t even try to argue with him. I know he understands why I’m not big on receiving gifts. He’s been there.
There’s a line for licenses and I keep fidgeting with my blonde hair; a new picture to mark a new life, a new day. As I look around the cramped office that stinks like a boy’s gym room, I spot several girls looking me over with distaste. My anger begins to flare and a comment flies to my mouth telling the group of them where to go and how to get there, but it’s silenced when my name is called. I get up and reach my hand out for Angel to grab. He looks confused for a moment but his face clears and he smiles. God, his smile can bring me to my knees. I make sure to pass in front of the girls and when we get right in front of them I pause. Angel stops and looks at me, turning my attention to the girls with a smirk on my face I say one word, “Mine,” and proceed to walk away.
Angel tries to hold in his laugh with no success but it helps when I have to take my picture. It’s the first picture taken of me since I was thirteen that captures a smile on my face. I owe it all to him. I owe everything to him and he just doesn’t realize it.
Finally out of the DMV, we stop at the store and he tells me to get anything I need. Judging by how stocked the room was when I got to Angel’s, I’m pretty sure I will be okay until my first paycheck therefore I don’t grab anything. He gives me a look and I just smile. The car ride home is silent. I usually hate it, but it’s nice. When we get to the house, the neighbor that owns the coffee shop is sitting on the porch waiting for us.
She hands me an application and tells me her name is Martha, which totally fits her, and then tells me to wear black pants and a white shirt before disappearing back into her house. I’ve never really been a fan of coffee, but a job is a job. I think he’s more excited about it that I am.
I help as we make our own pizza, which ends with half the sauce on the dough and the other spread around the kitchen, t mozzarella cheese stuck in my hair, pepperonis stuck to Angel’s shirt, and the both of us sitting in the middle of the floor eating one very bare pizza. That same zing returns; buzzing its way through the air, a reminder of our attraction to each other, as if it could be forgotten.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you something, babe,” he pauses.
“Is that right?” I ask, already knowing what he wants to know.
“Mmmmhhmm,” he swallows his bite, “when we were at the DMV, you told those girls something.”
Damn, I’m good. I laugh, “I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“Mine?” His eyebrows almost retreat into his hair and a smile plays around his gorgeous lips.
“Mine what?” I ask, faking confusion looking at the mess in front of us. Then I burst out laughing because I can’t keep a straight face.
“That’s what I thought,” he smiles knowingly.
“You thought what, sir? You might be confused.”
“Uh huh, Nevaeh, go ahead and play, but I heard what you said.”
“Okay, so if you heard what I said, then what’s your question?” I challenge
“Why?”
“Why, what? Why did I say, mine?”
“Yes why?” He asks, clearly getting frustrated.
“Well let’s see, why do you call me babe? Why do you insist I stay here with you, why get me sober to begin with? Why anything, Angel? Sometimes there’s no reason for an action. Sometime it just is,” I say as I get up, put my dishes in the sink, and walk away.
Reaching my room, I open, and then shut my door. I lean on it for support for a moment then walk into the bathroom, laughing at my reflection. I remove my shirt first and throw it to the side. I then remove my jeans, standing in my black bra and panties, staring at my reflection. I’ve learned to work around the cast. My left hand is starting to become more dominant since my right is useless for a few more weeks. I start picking out some cheese from my hair, give up, and start the shower. As the room starts to fill up with steam, I make my way to the closet to get a set of jammies. Satisfied with what I chose, I walk back out, singing a tune that‘s stuck in my head, and place the clothes on the counter. It’s then that I feel eyes on me.
I look up and see him standing in the doorway. He’s raking his eyes down my body and I can feel his gaze like his hands are all over me. When he meets my eyes again the same fire is in his eyes, making it impossible to think, to breathe, and to do anything but swoon at his feet. Clearing his throat, his mouth opens like a fish for a few seconds until he’s finally able to say what he needs to.
“Umm, I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” his eyes caress my body again.
“I’m fine, Angel,” I startle at the way my voice sounds. It carried a seductive tone that caught his attention because the next minute he’s walking towards me. Three strides, that’s all it took for him to reach me, lift me up, and place me on the counter. Then his lips are crushing mine and my body arches into his chest, begging for his hands to explore every inch of me. He presses into me and I can feel his need through his jeans as my legs wrap around him, but he breaks the kiss and steps away.
“Not yet babe. Soon. Definitely soon.”
He walks out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him. I don’t get off the counter until I hear the bedroom door close. Part of me hoped he would act against his better judgment and come back in. This is going to be a very long stay.
I wrap my cast in a bag and then jump in the shower, trying to wash away the images that are invading every space in my head. I get out, get dressed, and set the alarm for work in the morning.
Chapter 13
I drove my bike to work this morning, although it was hard as hell. This damn cast needs to come off soon. I’ve missed her, the feel of wind in my hair, and the feeling of freedom it brings. I pull into Whispering Winds Café house and fall in love instantly. It’s an old school café compared to Starbucks, but that’s what makes it so much more. In the back is the counter complete with an old school register, in the middle of the floor are pub tables, and hugging the walls, including the windows, are nooks. Each nook has two miss-matched loveseats with a unique table in the center. The tables are the only modern piece of furniture. Each table has an outlet plug built into its base, providing power for laptops or chargers.
The atmosphere is unbelievably cozy. It screams home. In the back left is a little stage. Next to it is an easel set up with a chalk bored with dates and times of local artist’s performances. Music, poetry, readings, and painting; I have to admit the painting has me curious and I hope I end up working that night. I make my way to the counter and my gaze collides with Martha’s, who is smiling at me brightly.
“How do you like it?” She asks, with her arms open, gesturing to the store, radiating pride.
“I love it! It’s so vintage and has this cozy aura that makes it so you can’t help but feel at home,” I beam at her.
Smiling, “I knew the moment I saw you, you were going to fit in perfectly. Not to mention you’re going to bring in the male customers.”
My brows furrow.
“Oh please hunny, you can’t tell me you don’t see it. All the guys in this store have had their attention on you since you walked through that door,” she laughs.
I take a look around and see the patrons in the store. She’s right. All the guys, even the workers, have their eyes glued to me and as I meet their look they smile. Blushing slightly, I turn away.
“Right. Well, whatever helps the business! What would you like me to do?” I ask.
“Let’s finish up your paperwork and then I’ll show you the register,” she says as she’s walking back to the office. “I’m going to have you as the designated cashier at night. You look like you have a good memory and can handle the fast pace. Am I right? Not to mention that,” she gestured to my cast.
“Y
es ma’am. I can remember almost everything and speed isn’t a problem. The cast should be coming off soon and then you can cross-train me.” I wince at the choice of words I just used, but she doesn’t seem to notice and if she does she ignores it.
After paperwork is complete and a few supervised transactions, I’m on my own for the rest of the day. She was right about the guys. I don’t think I’ve ever been asked for my number so much, ever. But it did provide for nice tips. I was told the tips get split among the three working that day, the cashier and the two baristas. Lucky for me, today both baristas are guys and they let me keep all the tips. Saving money is going to be easy if I work with these guys all the time.
Grabbing a bottle of water I take a sip, say goodbye to everyone, and jump on my bike heading for home. I park the bike on the side of the house since it looks like it might rain, and head inside. As soon as I’m near the couch I collapse half on and half off of it. I drape my legs over the arm rests, close my eyes, and relax. That’s until I hear a chuckle coming from the hallway. At the sound I jump up defensive. When I realize it’s just Angel, I relax my stance, and plop back on to the couch. I remove my shoes and rub my feet with my available hand and a sigh escapes my mouth.
“Tough day?” he asks.
I shake my head no, “Just not used to standing on my feet for eight hours.”
He comes over, lifts my legs, and sits down. Pushing my hand out of the way he starts messaging my feet, working his way up my calves, and back down to my feet.
“It’s going to get easier for you once you get used to it,” he smiles at me.
“Well, I got good tips,” I smirk.
“Oh, really? I didn’t know they gave tips at a coffee shop. And what’s with the smirk?” Humor evident in his voice.
“Well…” I trail off not sure I should tell him.
“Babe, you can tell me anything,” he says, hesitant at my tone of voice.
“Well, I’m placed at the register, “he nods, “so I talk to the customer’s right? Well I got hit on all day, but also got the crew tips.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?” I ask.
“Yeah, I mean, I would be a complete idiot to say that you’re not beautiful. Not to mention naive if I acted like you wouldn’t be hit on. I am curious though as to why you’re acting this way.”
“Well, what if I told you I got to keep all the tips because the baristas working with me are guys?” I look everywhere but at him.
He reaches over to turn my face gently, “Neveah, as long as you’re not doing anything to hurt you or use your body, I don’t care how money is given to you. As long as you realize that you are so much more than your exterior and come home to me, I’m okay with the guys flirting with you.”
I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say to that or even how I feel about it.
“Is this your way of staking claim, Angel? I mean... Oh hell, I don’t know what I mean.” Laughing, I pull my feet from his lap and hug them to my chest, shielding myself.
“Look at me,” I shake my head no, “Neveah, please baby, look at me,” he pleads.
So I do. I look up right at him and become captivated by his gaze. His blue eyes are muted, soft, and adoring.
“If it was up to me you would be mine. No questions asked and everyone would know it,” his eyes shift, brightening.
I blush and chew on my lip. Is that what I want? To tell the world that I’m Angel’s girl? Yes, I do. I do want that title, but not right now. It’s too soon.
“Say something,” he begs.
“Angel, I told you I want that. I really do, more than anything. But it’s too soon right now. I need to get used to finding new coping methods that don’t involve drugs or alcohol. I need to figure out if I’m going to bring you down first,” I say quietly, eyes stinging with unshed tears.
“Listen to me Nevaeh, and listen good, I’m not rushing you. You can take all the time you need, but like I said the first day you were here, I’m not going anywhere. I know we both have our own sets of issues to deal with, but you’re not going to bring me down. If anything you build me up through your courage, your ability to face everything with a clear mind, with a purpose, and with hope,” his voice is brimming with emotion.
A tear sneaks past my feeble attempts to keep them at bay and Angel wipes it away. If he only knew that my hope is him. It’s to make myself worthy of him. Maybe he wouldn’t think so highly of me then.
“I’m going to go grab a shower and change,” I hop up and practically run to my room.
I pull out the hundred dollars I made in tips and place it in the book I was reading about different paths. I know Angel won’t take it, but I know I’ll spend it given the opportunity.
Chapter 14
It’s the same routine for the next few weeks: shower, work, talking to Angel about our days, shower, and then bed. Today is Saturday so I have the day off. I work Sunday through Thursday since they are the busiest days. I love the crew, they’re the same guys I worked with on the first day.
Having Fridays off made me realize that I don’t know where Angel works. I’ve been living here for almost a month and I have no clue what he does. He’s always off work when I am, and when I’m at work I have no clue where he goes. I mean he has to work right? He has an expensive car, a house that’s beyond amazing, and spends money like it’s nothing. The fridge is always stocked, he bought all those clothes, and not to mention decorated my room. How is it possible that he can afford all of that without a job?
I know he’s not into doing drugs. He said that he used to be like me, not that he was like me. But that doesn’t stop the apprehension from creeping up my skin, making my hairs stand on edge. I need to figure out what he does before I end up going to jail for being an accessory.
“Hey Angel,” I call.
“Yeah, give me a second. I’ll be out in a minute,” he calls back.
I put on my jeans and throw on my signature tank with a hoodie over. I make my way to the couch, planning all the questions I’m going to ask him. I get so lost in thought that I jump when he pokes me.
“Seriously, you have to stop spacing out, Nevaeh. Someone could get the upper hand on you,” he chuckles.
I glare at him and his face becomes serious.
“So Mr. Mysterious, I just realized I have no idea where you work or when you work. It’s like your home when I leave and when I get back. So what’s your story Angel, where do you work?” I pin him with a ‘don’t bullshit me’ look.
“Well I don’t really have to work,” he shrugs.
“Wait, what? How is that an answer? I mean why not?” I’m so confused by his answer that I don’t make sense, even to myself.
“Well you know how I told you I’m like you, a recovering addict?”
I nod.
“My father owned some oil wells here in Texas and when he passed this year, the ownership of the wells went to me.”
My mouth drops open and I’m sure my eyes are as big as one of those anime type characters, because he laughs.
“So let me get this straight. Your dad owns a few oil wells, which are now yours, so working isn’t necessary for you?”
“Well I don’t have to work; I mean I do because there are some things that need my signature. Those few oil mills I own are part of a company that I’m also the co-owner of,” he looks uncomfortable.
“So you own part of an oil digging company, too? Wow, way to make me feel insignificant,” I force a laugh.
“The beauty of an only child and an inheritance...”
“Alright, that’s extremely impressive.”
“Don’t. Don’t do that. I’m still me no matter how I make money, Nevaeh, so get that look off your face,” he looks away.
I do what he asks and say one word, “Cool.”
The rest of the day we lounge around and eat snacks while watching movies. I somehow end up with my head in his lap. He’s running his fingers through my long hair, making me sleepy.
I
shiver and snuggle in closer to the warmth, when an arm tightens around me. My body goes rigid and my eyes fly open I notice I’m lying on Angel’s chest and that his eyes are now open in response to my going rigid, looking for danger. When he realizes it was just me reacting to our closeness, he starts rubbing circles on my back, and places a kiss on the top of my shoulder. That does the trick. My body begins relaxing and I drift off again as he slowly draws patterns on my back.
I forget that I have issues; I forget everything but this moment right now. I let the feeling of being in Angels arms, lying on his chest, fill me up and chase away all the self -doubt. I can slowly feel the happiness swirling inside me. If I can feel like this every day, then that’s what I want that. I need that. That’s when the decision is made, Not that there was any other choice, but I just had to admit it to myself.
“Okay,” I tell him.
“Okay what, babe?” his voice is husky, sleepy.
I lift my head up to look down at him, “Us. I’m ready for us. I don’t need to figure out who I am, because when I’m with you, I’m me. If it means I get to feel this way all the time, then that’s what I want. I want you”
I don’t shy away like I normally would, I stand, well, lay my ground. I wait to see what he’s going to say. But when a few minutes go by and he hasn’t said anything, I get worried. I start shutting down, preparing myself for the worst. The inner voices start ricocheting through the recesses of my mind, I the guys; voices, the guys from the past, the guys that I’ve blocked out for so long. See you’re not good enough. He doesn’t really want YOU; he just wants what’s inside those tight jeans. I look away and roll off of him. This was so not what I was expecting when he just said he would be there for me, that he wanted me. Maybe I read too much into it? Maybe he just meant as friends. I start walking towards the kitchen to grab some water, to hide, and escape from yet another embarrassing moment.
Just as I reach the doorway for the kitchen, arms circle my waist, and a chin is placed on my right shoulder. I stop dead in my tracks in the doorway. This feels different, but the same. The arms feel familiar but not the ones I want. Not the ones I need. These are the arms of someone I never wanted to see again. Arms that should be nowhere near me.
Deviation (Deviate Series) Page 8