Because of the air raids, it is forbidden to light lamps at night unless the windows are completely blacked out. Grandmother thinks it is more practical not to light them at all. Patrols circulate all night to make sure the regulation is obeyed.
During a meal, we mention a plane we saw fall in fiâmes. We also saw the pilot parachute from it.
"We don't know what happened to him, the enemy pilot."
Grandmother says:
"Enemy? They are friends, our brothers. They'll be here soon."
One day, we are out walking during an air raid. A terrified man dashes up to us:
"You shouldn't be out during air raids."
He grabs our arms and pulls us toward a door:
"Go in, get inside."
"We don't want to."
"It's a shelter. You'll be safe there."
He opens the door and pushes us in front of him. The cellar is full of people. Complete silence reigns there. The women are clutching their children to them.
Suddenly, somewhere, bombs go off. The explosions get nearer. The man who brought us to the cellar runs over to a pile of coal in one corner and tries to bury himself in it.
Several women snigger contemptuously. An elderly woman says:
"His nerves are shot. He's on leave because of it."
All of a sudden we find it difficult to breathe. We open the cellar door; a big fat woman pushes us back and shuts the door again. She shouts:
"Are you crazy? You can't go out now."
We say:
"People always die in cellars. We want to go out."
The fat woman leans against the door. She shows us her Civil Defense armband.
"I'm in charge here! You'll stay!"
We sink our teeth into her fleshy forearms; we kick her in the shins. She screams and tries to hit us. People laugh. In the end, all red with anger and shame, she says:
"Get out! Beat it! Go get yourselves killed outside! It'll be no great loss."
Outside, we can breathe. It's the first time we have been afraid.
The bombs continue to rain down.
The Human Herd
We have come to the priest's house to get our clean clothes. We are eating bread and butter with the housekeeper in the kitchen. We hear shouts coming from the street. We put down our bread and butter and go out. People are standing in front of their houses; they are looking in the direction of the station. Excited children are running around shouting: "They're coming! They're coming!" At a bend in the road an army jeep full of foreign officers appears. The jeep is moving slowly, followed by soldiers carrying their rifles on their shoulders. Behind them is a sort of human herd. Children like us. Women like our mother. Old men like the cobbler.
Two or three hundred of them pass by, flanked by soldiers. A few women are carrying small children on their backs, on their shoulders, or cradled against their breasts. One of them falls; hands reach out to catch the child and the mother; they must be carried, because a soldier has already pointed his rifle at them.
No one speaks, no one cries; their eyes are fixed on the ground. The only sound is the noise of the soldiers' hobnail boots.
Right in front of us, a thin arm emerges from the crowd, a dirty hand stretches out, a voice asks:
"Bread."
The housekeeper smiles and pretends to offer the rest of her bread; she holds it close to the outstretched hand, then, with a great laugh, brings the piece of bread back to her mouth, takes a bite, and says:
"I'm hungry too."
A soldier who has seen all this gives the housekeeper a slap on the behind; he pinches her cheek, and she waves to him with her handkerchief until all we can see is a cloud of dust against the setting sun.
We go back into the house. From the kitchen we can see the priest kneeling in front of the big crucifix in his room.
The housekeeper says:
"Finish your bread and butter."
We say:
"We aren't hungry anymore."
We go into the room. The priest turns around:
"Do you want to pray with me, my children?"
"We never pray, as you know very well. We want to understand."
"You cannot understand. You are too young."
"You are not too young. That's why we are asking you. Who are those people? Where are they being taken? Why?"
The priest gets up and comes toward us. Closing his eyes, he says:
"The Ways of the Lord are unfathomable." He opens his eyes and places his hands on our heads: "It is unfortunate that you were forced to witness such a spectacle. You are trembling all over." "So are you, Father." "Yes, I am old, I tremble."
"As for us, we're cold. We came here stripped to the waist. We're going to put on the shirts your housekeeper has washed."
We go into the kitchen. The housekeeper hands us our parcel of clean clothes. We each take a shirt. The housekeeper says:
"You're too sensitive. The best thing you can do is to forget what you've seen."
"We never forget anything." She pushes us to the door:
"Off you go, and don't worry! None of that has anything to do with you. It'll never happen to you. Those people are only animals."
Grandmother's Apples
We run from the priest's house to the cobbler's house. His windowpanes are broken; his door is smashed in. Inside, everything has been ransacked. Filthy words are written on the walls.
An old woman is sitting on a bench in front of the house next door. We ask her:
"Has the cobbler gone away?"
"A long time ago, the poor man."
"He wasn't among those who went through town today?"
"No, the ones who went today came from somewhere else. In cattle trucks. Him, he was killed here, in his workshop, with his own tools. Don't worry. God sees everything. He will recognize His Own."
When we get home, we find Grandmother lying on her back in front of the garden gate, her legs apart, apples scattered all around her.
Grandmother doesn't move. Her forehead is bleeding.
We run to the kitchen, wet a cloth, and take the brandy down from the shelf. We put the wet cloth on Grandmother's forehead and pour brandy into her mouth. After a while she opens her eyes and says:
"More!"
We pour more brandy into her mouth.
She raises herself up on her elbows and starts shouting:
"Pick up the apples! What are you waiting for, sons of a bitch?"
We pick the apples up from the dusty road. We put them in her apron.
The cloth has fallen from Grandmother's forehead. Blood is trickling into her eyes. She wipes it away with a corner of her shawl.
We ask:
"Are you hurt, Grandmother?"
She sniggers:
"It'll take more than a blow from a rifle butt to kill me off."
"What happened, Grandmother?"
"Nothing. I was picking apples. I came to the gate to watch the procession. My apron slipped; the apples fell and rolled into the road. In the middle of the procession. That's no reason to hit someone."
"Who hit you, Grandmother?"
"Who do you think? You're not fools! They hit them too. They hit people in the crowd. But all the same there were some who were able to eat my apples!"
We help Grandmother get up. We take her into the house. She starts peeling the apples to make a compote, but she falls down, and we carry her to her bed. We take off her shoes. Her shawl slips off; a completely bald skull appears. We put her shawl back on. We stay by her bedside for a long time, holding her hands and watching her breathe.
The Policeman
We are having our breakfast with Grandmother. A man comes into the kitchen without knocking. He shows his police card.
Immediately, Grandmother starts shouting:
"I don't want the police in my house! I've done nothing!"
The policeman says:
"No, nothing, never. Just a few little poisonings here and there."
Grandmother says:
The policeman says:
"Take it easy, Grandmother. We're not going to dig up the dead. We've got enough to do burying them."
"Then what do you want?"
The policeman looks at us and says:
"The acorn doesn't fall far from the oak."
Grandmother looks at us too:
"I should hope not. What have you been doing now, sons of a bitch?"
The policeman asks:
"Where were you yesterday evening?"
We answer:
"Here."
"You weren't hanging around the cafés as usual?"
"No. We stayed here because Grandmother had an accident."
Grandmother says very quickly:
"I fell going down to the cellar. The steps are all mossy, and I slipped. I banged my head. The kids brought me back up and looked after me. They stayed by my bedside all night."
The policeman says:
"You've got a bad bump there, I can see. You must be careful at your age. Very well. We're going to search the house. Come with me, all three of you. We'll start with the cellar."
Grandmother opens the cellar door, and we go down. The policeman moves everything, the sacks, the cans, the baskets, and the pile of potatoes.
Grandmother asks us in a whisper:
"What's he looking for?"
We shrug our shoulders.
After the cellar, the policeman searches the kitchen. Then Grandmother has to unlock her room. The policeman strips her bed. There is nothing in the bed or in the straw mattress, just a bit of cash under the pillow.
At the door of the officer's room, the policeman asks:
"What's in here?"
Grandmother says:
"It's a room I rent to a foreign officer. I don't have the key."
The policeman looks at the door to the attic:
"You don't have a ladder?"
Grandmother says:
"It's broken."
"How do you get up there?"
"I don't. Only the kids go up there."
The policeman says:
"Well, let's go, kids."
We climb up to the attic by the rope. The policeman opens the chest where we keep the things we need for our studies: Bible, dictionary, paper, pencils, and the Notebook in which everything is written. But the policeman hasn't come to read. He rummages through a pile of old clothes and blankets one more time, and we go down again. Back downstairs, the policeman looks around him and says:
"I obviously can't dig up the whole garden. Right. Come with me."
He takes us into the forest, to the edge of the big hole where we found the corpse. The corpse isn't there anymore. The policeman asks:
"Have you ever been here before?"
"No. Never. We would have been afraid to go so far."
"You've never seen this hole or a dead soldier?"
"No, never."
"When they found that dead soldier, his rifle, his cartridges, and his grenades were missing."
We say:
"He must have been very absentminded and careless, that soldier, to have lost all those things so indispensable to a soldier."
The policeman says:
"He didn't lose them. They were stolen from him after he died. You often come into the forest, don't you have any ideas on the matter?"
"No. No ideas at all."
"Yet someone certainly took that rifle, those cartridges, and those grenades."
We say:
"Who would dare to touch such dangerous things?"
The Interrogation
We are in the policeman's office. He is sitting at a table, we are standing in front of him. He gets paper and pencil. He is smoking. He asks us questions:
"How long have you known the priest's housekeeper?"
"Since the spring."
"Where did you meet her?"
"At Grandmother's. She came for potatoes."
"You deliver wood to the priest's house. How much are you paid for that?"
"Nothing. We take wood to the priest's house to thank the housekeeper for doing our washing."
"Is she nice to you?"
"Very nice. She makes bread and butter for us, cuts our nails and hair, and lets us have baths there."
"Like a mother, in fact. And the parish priest, is he nice to you?"
"Very nice. He lends us books and teaches us a lot of things."
"When did you last take wood to the priest's house?"
"Five days ago. On Tuesday morning."
The policeman walks up and down the room. He closes the curtains and turns on his desk lamp. He draws up two chairs and tells us to sit down. He shines the lamp in our faces:
"You're very fond of the housekeeper?"
"Yes, very."
"Do you know what's happened to her?"
"Has something happened to her?"
"Yes. Something horrible. This morning, as usual, she was lighting the fire, and the kitchen stove blew up. It hit her full in the face. She's in the hospital."
The policeman stops talking; we say nothing. He says:
"You have nothing to say?"
We say:
"If something blows up in your face, you're bound to end up in the hospital, or even in the morgue. She's lucky she isn't dead."
"She's disfigured for life!"
We are silent. The policeman too. He looks at us. We look at him. He says:
"You don't look particularly sad about it."
"We're glad she's alive. After such an accident!"
"It wasn't an accident. Someone hid an explosive in the firewood. A cartridge from an army rifle. We've found the case."
We ask:
"Why would anyone do that?"
"To kill her. Her or the priest."
We say:
"People are cruel. They like to kill. It's the war that has taught them that. And there are explosives lying around everywhere."
The policeman starts to shout:
"Stop trying to be clever! You're the ones who deliver wood to the priest's house! You're the ones who hang around all day in the forest! You're the ones who strip the corpses! You're capable of anything! You have it in your blood! Your Grandmother has a murder on her conscience too. She poisoned her husband. With her it's poison, with you it's explosives! Admit it, you little bastards! Admit it! It was you!"
We say:
"We aren't the only ones who deliver wood to the priest's house."
He says:
"That's true. There's also the old man. I've already questioned him."
We say:
"Anyone can hide a cartridge in a pile of wood."
"Yes, but not anyone can have cartridges. I'm not interested in your housekeeper! What I want to know is where the cartridges are. And the grenades? And the rifle? The old man has admitted everything. I've questioned him so well that he's admitted everything. But he couldn't show me where the cartridges, the grenades, and the rifle are. He's not the guilty one. It's you! You know where the cartridges, the grenades, and the rifle are. You know, and you're going to tell me!"
We don't respond. The policeman hits us. With both hands. Right and left. We are bleeding from the nose and mouth.
"Admit it!"
We say nothing. He goes white, he hits us over and over again. We fall off our chairs. He kicks us in the ribs, in the kidneys, in the stomach.
"Admit it! Admit it! It was you! Admit it!"
We can no longer open our eyes. We can no longer hear. Our bodies are covered with sweat, blood, urine, and excrement. We lose consciousness.
In Prison
We are lying on the hard dirt floor of a cell. Through a tiny barred window, a little light is coming in. But we don't know what time it is, or even if it is morning or afternoon.
We hurt all over. The slightest movement makes us fall back into semiconsciousness. Our vision is fuzzy, our ears are ringing, our heads are pounding. We are terribly thirsty. Our mouths
are dry.
Hours go by this way. We don't speak. Later, the policeman comes in and asks us:
"Do you need anything?"
We say:
"Something to drink."
"Talk. Confess. And you'll have as much as you want to eat and drink."
We don't answer. He asks:
"Grandfather, do you want something to eat?"
Nobody answers. He goes out.
We realize we aren't alone in the cell. Carefully we raise our heads a little and see an old man lying huddled in a corner. Slowly we crawl over to him and touch him. He is stiff and cold. We crawl back to our place near the door.
It is already night when the policeman comes back with a flashlight. He shines it at the old man and says:
"Sleep well. Tomorrow morning you can go home."
He shines it at us too, straight in our faces, one after the other:
"Still nothing to say? It's all the same to me. I can wait. You'll either talk or die here."
Later that night the door opens again. The policeman, the orderly, and the foreign officer come in. The officer bends down and looks at us. He says to the orderly:
"Telephone the base for an ambulance!"
The orderly goes out. The officer examines the old man. He says:
"He's beaten him to death!"
He turns to the policeman:
"You'll pay dearly for this, you vermin! If you only knew how you'll pay for all this!"
The policeman asks us:
"What did he say?"
"He said that the old man is dead and that you'll pay dearly for it, you vermin!"
The officer strokes our foreheads:
"My poor little boys. How dare he hurt you, that filthy pig!"
The policeman says:
"What's he going to do to me? Tell him I've got children. . . . I didn't know. ... Is he your father or something?"
We say:
"He's our uncle."
"You should have told me. How could I have known? Please forgive me. What can I do to . . ."
We say:
"Pray to God."
The orderly arrives with other soldiers. They put us on stretchers and carry us out to the ambulance. The officer sits beside us. The policeman, flanked by several soldiers, is taken off in a jeep driven by the orderly.
The Notebook + The Proof + The Third Lie Page 7