“Shut up! You shut the hell up,” Renny said, stabbing a finger in his direction. “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, so shut the hell up. You think Summer’s over there crying because of some alcohol? You’re wrong. Dead wrong. More likely she’s crying over something she sensed about your stupid ass.”
“Get real. The two of you must think I’m going to believe anything. Like I’m some kind of moron.”
“The worst kind,” Renny shot back. “And, hey. Maybe calling you a moron is an insult to morons. You’re a starfish. I hear they don’t have any brains.”
“Like you would know, bitch.”
“Stop,” Summer said weakly, the ache in her heart almost unbearable as she made her way back to them. “Please stop.” She took a couple of deep breaths, tried to get back some control. “Rich, I’m sorry your name got pulled into this mess. But the police aren’t looking at you for this. What they are looking for is a seven-year-old girl. All I did was tell the truth to help them do their job. If you feel you need to rip me up for it, be my guest. Renny, you ready to go?”
“Been there.” She hooked her arm through Summer’s, taking a lot of her weight. “I’m sorry for whatever you saw.”
“Me too.” Though she didn’t look back, Summer could feel Rich’s stare. “Do me a favor. If I ever try to have another conversation with him, slap me silly.”
“What if I just pull you in the opposite direction? I wouldn’t want to break my hand on your hard head. The book would never get finished.”
Summer managed a wan smile. “Can’t have that. Not after you yet again rode in on your trusty steed to defend my honor.”
“What else was I going to do? Prick. Him I wouldn’t mind slapping silly. Oh, wait. He already is. Care to tell me what you saw?” she asked gently.
“His father really was a monster. I think he beat Rich’s mother to death, tuned Rich up regularly for not being manly enough.” She swiped at the tear, unaware of the attention she was drawing. “He was so scared and so helpless. Kids should never have to feel that way. It breaks my heart. God, I wish Dr. Veraat was back. I don’t know if I can handle this. I don’t know.”
“Have you thought anymore about seeing someone else? Another woman maybe? I have some contacts through AA.”
“I probably should. I feel so…” She sighed and was quiet the rest of the way, fighting back images of a terrified boy and lost girls.
When they approached her building, she realized how unfair she was being. Poor Renny hadn’t bargained for hysteria and vomit with her gourmet dinner. “Some date I’ve been, huh? I understand if you don’t want to suffer through this wonderful experience again. It’s okay if you want to leave, try to salvage what’s left of the evening.”
“I hope you don’t think a little bit of vomit is going to discourage me. Used to be a party girl, remember? I’ve seen worse and lived to tell the tale,” Renny boasted and lightly squeezed Summer’s arm. “Hell, I’ve done worse. Not that it’s a good thing, mind you. I’m just saying.”
“How can you joke?”
“How can I not? I’m not trying to make light of what happened. But neither will I blame you for it. What you’re dealing with is…I don’t even have words. What you won’t have to deal with is me thinking any less of you because you had a normal reaction to a young boy’s hell. In fact, it’s the opposite. I think more of you. The strength to take it all in and still care is incredible. How could I not want to go out with you again?”
“Okay.” She nodded, taking a deep breath, then used her key card to get them through the door leading to the elevators. “Any chance you want to come up and catch a movie? My dad has me well stocked.”
“It has to be a comedy. I demand to laugh my fat ass off.”
Summer smiled. “That’ll be kind of hard, don’t you think? Not that I’ve been checking it out or anything, but your ass is not fat. No winning the fat ass contest for you.”
Renny put a hand to her chest, looking affronted. “I’m hurt, I say, hurt. That you would crush my hopes like that, well, I just don’t know what to say.”
“Anyone ever tell you your Southern accent stinks?” she asked and jabbed the Up button.
Chapter Twenty-One
Summer jerked awake, a scream lodged in the back of her throat and the remnants of a nightmare wedged in her brain. Looking around she was glad to find herself on the sofa in her apartment. Must have fallen asleep during the movie, she thought and cringed. Yet another bad mark on her date card. “Sorry about flaking out,” she mumbled, wiping her spitless mouth.
“I was almost there myself,” Renny said around a yawn. “Bad dream?”
“Two for one. The missing girls, all twenty-five of them, on top of Rich and his loving father. The only good thing is that I think Georgia’s still alive.” She rubbed her eyes. “I have got to get that guy out of my head.”
“Rich or the monster?”
“If Rich goes, his monster goes with him.”
“Not Rich’s. I’m talking about Georgia’s monster…”
Summer leaned back and closed her eyes. “When she’s found, he’ll go. I hope. If only she’d give me better clues about where he’s keeping her.” She exhaled. “That’s too easy, I know.”
“What if you sketched what you do know? Sometimes if I’m blocked, I try to type without thinking about it. Most of it ends up being garbage, but the tiny piece I keep is usually pivotal. Could be your eyes took in more than your brain’s telling you.”
“Worth a try.” She turned off the TV and DVD, then retrieved her pad and pencils. After staring at the blank page a moment she smiled. “This reminds me of when I used to paint with a blindfold. Drove Cyn crazy that whatever I came up was better than anything she could do with her eyes open.” She closed her eyes. “I’ll start with the table…” She blinked and looked at Renny with dawning wonder. “Oh, God. Oh, my God, Renny.” Summer grabbed her head, squeezed. “Cyn. Oh, Cyn. How could I forget her?” Her shoulders slumped under the weight of guilt.
Renny reached for Summer’s hand and held it between hers. “Not just her, Summer. You forgot everything and everyone. But you remembered her now. That’s what’s important. Who is she?”
“Eighteen. We met when I was eighteen. My grandmother gave me a trip to New York City for my birthday. May twenty-sixth. I know my birthday now. Really know it.” She exhaled. “The memories are falling over themselves. It’s almost too much.”
“Then tell me about Cyn. Focus on her.”
“I met her at MoMA the first day I was there. The first thing I noticed was her hair. Cyn had lots of red, red hair. And she was tiny, but you didn’t notice because she had so much energy. She was twenty-three, just out of college, and had all these grand plans to take on the sculpting world. Swept me off my feet. By January I’d transferred to NYU and we were sharing an apartment near Central Park. She was in the car with me when…She didn’t make it, Mom said.”
“That’s tough. You were together over ten years,” Renny commented after a protracted silence.
“Why can’t it be simple?” She rubbed her temples, exhaled. “It wasn’t all good. She could be moody, up one minute, down the next. More so after I started having some success. Damn.” She covered her face with her hands.
“What’s wrong?”
“That night. We weren’t talking. Big blowup. Shit.” Summer took shallow breaths, rocking back and forth, then she pushed off the couch and paced. Holding her head, she muttered “No” over and over as the events of that night played out like a B-grade movie. “It needs to stop. Make it stop.” She grabbed at her hair as tears beaded in her eyes. “Why can’t it ever be easy? Why the hell can’t it be easy?”
“Summer, are you here?”
She exhaled, faced Renny and noticed she was now standing, confusion riddling her face. “I have to be the worst date ever,” she said with a sad smile. “You should run. Fast and far.”
Renny crossed to stand at an arm’s len
gth. “Not going to happen,” she said firmly. “Do I need to get you to a hospital?”
Her laugh was closer to a sob. “Don’t worry. I’m not having a breakdown. Not yet.” She wiped her eyes, then dried her hands on her pants, heedless of the tears still falling. “I remembered what I think my subconscious wanted me to forget. Damn, I wish I hadn’t.”
“Do I need to call your mother, anyone? Tell me what I can do to help.”
“You’re still here. That helps. It’s just I can’t…” She took a deep breath, trying to get enough air to tamp down the panic threatening to raise its powerful head.
“Calm down.” Renny ran her hand up and down Summer’s back. “Whatever it is, we’ll deal. And if we can’t, then we’ll find someone who can.”
“She was so angry. The rage on her face when she looked at me. It’s true. Oh, God.” She covered her mouth and hurried to the bathroom. All the water Renny had practically poured down her throat since they’d been back from dinner came back with force, overshooting the toilet and hitting the wall. Even after she was empty dry heaves wracked her body. She held on tight when Renny wrapped an arm around her waist and patted her heated face with a cold rag. It said a lot about her misery that she wasn’t embarrassed for Renny to see her like this. She leaned into Renny’s shoulders and gave into the sobs.
“You’re going to be okay,” Renny murmured, holding Summer tight. “I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but you’re going to be okay. You’ll see. This is part of your recovery.” She continued to hold Summer long after the trembling stopped.
“No wonder my mind went blank,” Summer said eventually, her voice raspy. She was tired. So tired. “I didn’t see it coming. I knew her—well, thought I knew her—and still didn’t see it coming. I found out she was screwing one of our friends and we had this huge fight. Accusations were flying, and then she slapped me. Tried to do it again, but I pushed her back. Took me a minute to get over the shock and I left. Wandered around the park, trying to make sense of what had happened. Eventually I found myself at a friend’s house. I couldn’t go back home. Not with my eye swelling.” She exhaled slowly, took a deep breath. “I dodged her for two days. Had to think, decide how to proceed. I didn’t know what to say to her, you know?”
“Of course. She changed the game plan. Not only cheating, but violence.”
“Yeah. Anyway, she convinced me to meet her to talk it out, said I owed her that for all the years we’d been together. Dumb.”
“No. It wasn’t. You had a lot of years invested. I’m sure you wanted an explanation.”
“That and to have my say. We met at this little bistro not far from where I was staying. It was crowded, loud, so when she begged me to go for a drive I thought, sure, why not? I wanted to be sure she heard what I had to say.”
“You were going to end it?”
“The moods were bad enough, but cheating? Final nail in the coffin for me. I expected more respect for me, for what we had. She’d tried to throw the blame on me before, so I was thinking, private is better. We get in the car and she starts right away pinning the blame on me. How I haven’t been there for her, blah, blah, blah. The kind of things they teach at Cheaters-R-Us.”
“Bullshit, in other words,” Renny said dryly.
“That’s what I said. That if she couldn’t deal in truth we had nothing to say to each other.” Summer closed her eyes. She’d been too full of indignation to pay enough attention to the maniacal look that had come over Cyn’s face.
“Finish it. You need to get it all out, then you can put it away and maybe one day forget.”
“Put it away, maybe. Forget? Never. Where was I? Oh yeah, calling her on her bullshit. Told her to take me back to the restaurant. We were done. I had nothing more to say. She had plenty. Built-up resentment from years before. The more she talked, the more erratically she drove. At one point, I asked her to pull over, let me out. She laughed and sped up instead, then started weaving across the center lane. The words that were coming out of her mouth. That look on her face.” She shivered. “All I could do was cover my eyes and beg her to stop. I think I felt the impact, heard Cyn scream and the windshield shatter. I’m not sure what happened then, but I was ejected from the car at some point. Faulty seat belt they said later, but…”
“Don’t think about that.” Renny’s voice was scratchy, her eyes drenched with tears. “You already remembered enough for now. Come on, I think you should be lying down. This on top of the other is too much. You need to lie down, try to sleep.”
Summer drew back and brushed a hand over the wetness on Renny’s cheeks. “I need to clean up, brush my teeth. Then I’ll feel better. That’ll make me feel better.”
“You brush, I clean. And before you try to argue, let me point out how easily I could take you down,” Renny said with a scowl more comical than threatening.
She gave in. Maybe she wasn’t the only one who needed something to do. “I’ll owe you. Dinner and a movie. But this time minus the melodrama, okay?”
Renny ran her fingers over Summer’s hair. “For your sake I hope it is.”
* * *
For the first time since she checked into rehab for the second stint, Renny woke up snuggled to another body. She’d dated, had sex with a few women, but never spent the night. It was comforting to open her eyes without wondering who the other person might be or what she’d done to get herself in her current situation. There was something to be said for sobriety, for having all her senses intact.
She looked at Summer, noting the furrowed brow on an otherwise smooth face, and itched to smooth out the wrinkle as much as the underlying cause. That was a new role for her—caregiver. After thinking it over, she decided it was one that she liked. One that she was ready to assume. Unable to resist, she dropped a light kiss on that brow. She wasn’t disappointed when Summer’s eyes opened.
“Hey,” Summer said softly and smiled. “You’re still here. Seems I owe you more than dinner and a movie.”
Renny chuckled, glad the intimacy of last night was still there. She’d been a little concerned that Summer would wake up and regret asking her to stay. “I hear diamonds are a girl’s best friend.” She wiggled her ringless fingers.
“A small price to pay for the services rendered,” Summer said seriously. “For my continued sanity.”
“You know I’m kidding, right?”
“Of course. It’s still a small price to pay.” Summer propped herself up on her elbow. “What I can’t understand is why you’re single.”
“Obviously I was waiting for you.”
“I should be so lucky.” Summer bent and dropped a kiss on Renny’s lips. “Thanks.”
Renny threaded her arms around Summer’s shoulders and tugged. “You’re being stingy with the thanks.”
“Can’t have that.” This time Summer’s lips met Renny’s with intent and purpose. Without breaking the kiss she shifted her body until she was on top of Renny. Tongue met tongue as their passion ignited.
“Better,” Renny said, dragging air into her lungs. She slid her hands down the back of Summer’s sleep shirt until she gripped her behind. “Surely your sanity is worth more than that. I’m thinking bare skin might up the ante.”
Summer sat up, reached for the hem of her shirt and hesitated.
“Off.”
Her face suffused with color, Summer complied. “Don’t complain if it isn’t up to standards.”
“Oh, but it is.” Renny ripped off the shirt and reached for Summer’s milky white body. “Beach for you this summer.” She nibbled on Summer’s bottom lip. “Food too.”
“Anything else?” Summer asked with arched brows.
“I don’t know. Do you remember how to dance?” She sucked in a breath when Summer pressed against her center. “Silly me.” She cupped one of Summer’s small breasts and squeezed a taut nipple. “What was that?”
“Me moaning.”
“No, that,” she whispered. “I heard a noise out front.”
; “You do know burglars do their thing at night, right?” Summer’s eyes widened at the sound of keys meeting table. “Shit!” She glanced at her alarm clock. “My mom!”
“No!” Renny shoved Summer away, slid from the bed and grabbed her clothes.
“Summer? Don’t tell me you’re still in bed. It’s nine.”
They looked at each other as Sandra’s footsteps came closer. “Say something,” Renny hissed.
“Just a sec, Mom. I, uh, I got a late start.” She motioned for Renny to go into the bathroom.
“Take your time, dear.” Sandra sounded amused. “And tell your friend she doesn’t have to sneak out the window. Why don’t I walk to that bagel shop and pick us up some breakfast?”
“That would be good.”
“Had to be my shoes.” Renny had gotten over her embarrassment and was working on amusement when Summer joined her in the bathroom, wearing a robe. “They’re right there by the sofa and obviously not something you’d wear.”
Summer covered her cheeks. “What’s better than diamonds? I’m going to owe you the world before this date is over.” She opened the cabinet above the sink and pulled out a new toothbrush. “Will you consider this a down payment?”
“This is so TV sitcomish. I could have written the script. Of course there would have to be righteous indignation in the mother’s voice after discovering her young virginal daughter in bed with an experienced older woman. Maybe an inhuman scream.”
Summer’s lips twitched. “You’re going to make me laugh. How can I laugh in a situation like this?”
“How can you not? I bet your mother’s laughing as we speak. Come on.” She gave Summer a poke. “You know you want to laugh.”
Summer slapped Renny’s hand away. “Do not. My mom almost walked in on us, remember?”
Renny grinned and reached for the toothpaste. “Hey, she was real cool. Has this happened before?”
Summer looked horrified. “God, no. I think.” She put a hand to her chest, exhaled. “No, I’m sure. That I would have remembered. And before you say it, yes, I did forget she was coming over to drag me out shopping.”
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