by Karen Ferry
Careful so as not to wake her, I remove my arms from her sleeping form and go to the bathroom. I take a good, long look at my face while my mind runs amok with thoughts I have difficulty putting into proper words.
What’s wrong with me? I have the girl of my dreams lying in my bed, and even though she hasn’t said so in that many words, she must feel the same way about me, right? Those three little words -- I love you -- shouldn’t be that important for me to hear.
And yet . . . they are.
I need to hear them fall from her lips . . . Otherwise, I won’t know that she truly belongs to me and no one else, but I’ll wait a bit longer.
The last thing I want is to scare her off.
I can’t help but wonder if she’ll finally relent and tell me everything before our meeting with her brother, Steven, in a few weeks?
Or will she prefer to keep me in the dark?
Rubbing my eyes, I sigh, but then my body locks in place when I smell her perfume. Soon after, her arms are wrapped tightly around me, and her warm, inviting body is pressed flushed to my back.
“Come back to bed,” she whispers, sleep clear in her voice, and I smile a little and rest a hand on top of hers.
“I will, sweetheart. Did a bad dream wake you up?” I ask her.
She places a lingering kiss on my spine, and it sends shock waves throughout my body.
“No . . . not feeling you behind me did,” she whispers, her hot mouth now moving further down, and I groan loudly and let my head fall back as I take in the warmth her pleasure gives me.
“Damn, Em . . . ,” I growl when her hands close around my cock that’s now become fully erect.
Her throaty chuckle comes close to unmanning me completely.
“Hungry for more?” she asks me and pushes her tits closer to my back.
“For you, I’m always famished for more,” I admit.
Her strokes on my cock speed up a bit, and she pants out, “Then why don’t you do something about that?”
Yes . . . why don’t I?
I turn around in her arms and place my hands on her cheeks, taking in her desire for me burn in her eyes, before I slam my mouth on hers. She opens up for me on a gasp, clearly inviting me to take imminent control, and my tongue quickly sweeps in to find hers.
I’m drowning in her warmth, her desire. But I need more. So much more.
Wrenching my mouth free, I bend down, take a firm hold on the back of her knees and heft her up until she’s hanging upside down my back as I carry her to my bed.
“Daniel!” she squeals and smacks my arse. “Put me down!”
“Quiet,” I order her and then bite her left arse cheek in warning. When she gasps and squeals again, I slap it gently, but firmly, and when she can’t keep a moan from her lips, I quirk an eyebrow even though she can’t see me.
Interesting.
I toss her on my bed and watch her bounce up and down once, surprise coupled with heat written as clear as glass all over her face.
“That wasn’t nice,” she snaps, but there’s no real heat behind her words. Her eyes belie the true nature of her feelings.
I stroke my cock slowly, licking my lips as I watch her take me in, her hand creeping up her rounded belly and closer to her tit.
Fuck . . .
Finally finding the ability to speak, I growl, “Maybe not. But I don’t want to be nice tonight, Em.”
Her breath hitches and she rubs thighs together. “Then . . . what do you want, Daniel?” she asks me, and I take a step closer to the bed, my eyes never leaving hers. I can tell that she’s as hungry for me as I am for her, and tonight, I won’t hold my desires back.
“I want to kiss you so hard our lips will be sore, painful even, while my fingers play with your pussy until you beg me to fuck you. But I won’t. No, instead, I’ll go down on you and lick you out until you come all over my face, your voice hoarse from screaming my name. And then I want to fuck your arse with my fingers and lick your pussy again while you suck off my cock. How does that sound, Emma?” Tilting my head to the side, I grab a firm hold on my balls, waiting for her answer.
It’s not exactly a question I don’t already know the answer to because her actions speak louder than words right now. She’s sitting on her knees, one arm stretched out to me while the fingers of her right hand plays with her clit, and I don’t think I’m able to hold myself in check for much longer.
“Well then . . . ,” she breathes out. “I like the sound of that. Why are you still standing there?”
In a flash, I’m on top of her, kissing her senseless, not holding back at all.
I keep my promise. Before I’m done with her, her voice is hoarse from me bringing her -- and myself -- to the brink of ecstasy and beyond.
Chapter 35
“I can’t move my legs,” I tell Suzy when she opens her front door to let me in. “Whoa! What the hell happened to your hair?!” I blurt out, astonished that all her golden locks have disappeared since I last saw her, leaving her with a cute, but so different pixie cut.
She bursts out in laughter and hugs me. “Well, hello to you, too, sweetie. You like?” she asks me while casually threading a hand through it. “I needed a change. Now, sounds like you’ve got lots to talk about. Do come in and tell me all about it.”
“I love it. It’s very chic.”
I do as she says, almost dragging my feet until I finally collapse on her couch, arms and legs dropped to my sides, and I blow out a deep breath.
Gosh, I’m so exhausted.
Suzy jumps down beside me, still highly amused, and rubs her hands together in glee.
“Honestly, that boy . . . well, man, I should say,” I correct myself, staring off in space.
“Did you two finally stop fooling around and have sex?” she asks me and takes my hand. “Come on, don’t hold back from me, Em. I need to live vicariously through you.”
I turn my head and frown. “Didn’t you go out last night?” I ask her, confused when I see her sad face.
She huffs. “Uh, yes, but . . . well, no one caught my fancy so I went home alone. A-freaking-gain.”
“I’m sorry, honey,” I tell her gently.
She waves it off and pastes a smile on her face. “Enough about that. Now, please tell me why you look and sound as if you’ve run a marathon.”
I snort.
That’ll be the day.
“Okay. No, we didn’t have sex . . . ”
“Shoot,” she mutters and falls back dejectedly.
“But,” I go on, and a giggle erupts from me when I see her face light up, a bright and genuine smile on her lips. “We did so much more . . . ”
Recounting the way Daniel completely took control last night and how he made me experience the kind of pleasure I have, despite my hook-ups, only ever read about in romance novels, I can’t keep the blush from spreading across my entire body.
Once I’ve finished giving Suzy almost all the details, I watch in fascination as she repeatedly opens and closes her mouth, speechless for once.
“Holy . . . crap!” she shouts at last. “Where do I find a guy like him?”
“On the train, apparently,” I answer drily, but soon after, we’re both cackling away like madwomen.
I wipe away a few stray tears and try to pull myself together.
“Oh . . . One other thing . . . ,” I muse, deliberately drawing my other news out. Suzy looks at the split-eating smile I can’t keep hidden, and sobers immediately.
“What is it?” she whispers and leans closer towards me, her eyes as big as sauvers.
“Daniel told me he loves me,” I reveal, and she squeals excitedly before hugging me tightly.
“Oh, wow . . . I’m so happy for you,” she whispers, but then pulls away from me, a worried crease between her eyes. “Wait, this is a good thing, right?”
I nod, still grinning like a fool. “Yep, a very good thing.”
“Phew!” she lets out, and dramatically wipes imaginary sweat from her forehead. “For a minute there, y
ou had me worried, you know.” She winks at me and I toss one of her throw pillows at her.
“Come on, Suzy, stop worrying about me.”
“So,” she persists, “you are truly happy?”
“Yeeeess,” I repeat slowly. A thought niggles at me, and the urge to confide in her about my past overwhelms me.
“I never thought . . . ,” I start, but then hesitation strikes as usual, and I look down at my clasped hands. I’m tense all over, terrified that she’ll reject me, but she deserves to know.
“What, lovely?” she asks me and rubs my shoulder soothingly.
I take a couple of deep breaths before revealing my past hurts to her a bit more. “I never thought that I’d like . . . Wait, that’s the wrong word for it . . . Never once did I believe that I’d want to expose myself like that -- you know, indulge in back-door play?” I sneak a peek at her, and seeing her look at me with such tenderness gives me the courage to keep pushing on. “Yet to experience that kind of intense, all-consuming pleasure with Daniel last night was . . . ” I pause and fan my face. “It was mind blowing, Suzy. Out of this world!” I move in my seat so that we are now facing each other on her couch and lean closer towards her, wanting to explain further. “Usually, whenever a guy tried to go down that route with me, I’d freeze up before hurrying the fuck out the door.”
“Why?” she asks me gently. “I mean, it’s not for everyone, but doing it with someone you trust with all your heart matters, of course.”
“Well . . . ” I look down at my lap, wetting my lips and take a few fortifying breaths once more. “The thought has been a sickening one to me because of what happened when I was . . . when I was ten years old. I was hurt deeply by someone I trusted, and . . . what he did to me has been haunting me ever since.”
Suzy gasps loudly, the sound reverberating throughout her flat. I don’t have to look into her eyes to know that she immediately understands what I am unable to put into words, and although there’s a hint of nausea by the memories that always follow me when I think of him, it isn’t as all-consuming as usual.
Suzy tightens her grip on my hand, and I finally venture to gaze into her tear-filled eyes. The pity I dreaded seeing there is nonexistent and I take heart from this fact, because it means that she doesn’t find me weak, and I love her for it.
“I’m so . . . so sorry, Em,” she sniffles, and I squeeze her hand, silently thanking her while a lump forms in my throat.
“You don’t have to tell me anything more if you don’t want to,” she says and wipes her eyes. “I mean, I understand if you’d rather not.”
Clearing my throat, I croak, “Thank you. One day, I will . . . but . . . ”
She waves my hesitation away and smiles wobbly at me. “I know. But I’m here for you, you know that, right?” Her eyes are now clear of tears, and there’s a fierceness to them I have not encountered before.
“I do,” I smile at her, thankful to have her in my life.
“Good.” She nods once and leans back in her seat. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I could use a glass of wine.”
Her statement surprises me, but then I laugh loudly, and Suzy follows after soon after. My laughter is filled with relief, love, and . . . yes, happiness. I’m on cloud frigging nine, and it’s all because of Suzy and her acceptance of me.
Oh, yes, Daniel may have a thing or two to do with it as well.
Maybe I’m not as broken as I was a mere month ago.
“Frascati good with you?” Suzy asks me and leaves her seat beside me.
“But . . . ” I glance at her clock. “Suzy, it’s not even noon yet!” I protest, but it sounds kind of feeble . . . and moot, seeing as Suzy has already pulled out the corkscrew from one of her drawers.
“Oh, nonsense!” she says loudly, and the sound of the cork popping a cheerful sound makes me shake my head.
“This is a day to celebrate,” she clarifies as she reaches for two glasses from the cupboard hanging above her stove. “It won’t hurt to bend the rules a bit today, Em.”
“I love you,” I tell her.
She blows a kiss at me. “I love you right back,” she answers and starts to pour the golden liquid into our glasses.
I smile at her briefly before turning to watch the sun filtering through her curtains paint the floor in hues of yellow and gold. Now that I have let Suzy in, I feel stronger than I thought I would . . .
It’s time to tell Daniel about my past so that we can move forward.
In more ways than one.
Just as I have left Suzy, my phone rings. I can’t keep the goofy smile off my face when I see it’s Daniel ringing me.
“Hi, handsome,” I greet him.
“Hi, gorgeous. Listen, I just received a phone call from the Cardiology Department at the Rigshospital. Andreas has been admitted there, but they didn’t tell me why.”
My good mood plummets immediately. “Oh no. Are you on your way there now?” I ask him and pick up speed.
“Yes, can you meet me there, please?” It’s impossible to miss the concern in his voice.
“Of course,” I hurry to tell him. “I’ll take a taxi and should be there in ten minutes or so.”
“Thank you,” he breathes out.
“Daniel, I’m your girlfriend and he’s my boss. Of course I want to see him,” I tell him gently and cross the street to walk to a spot where there are usually a lot of taxis passing through.
“Still, I’m grateful. Okay, I’ll see you soon, sweetheart,” he says and ends the call.
Raising my arm, I try to catch the eye of a cabbie, and it doesn’t take long before one pulls over. I open the door and quickly give him the address, and as he drives off, I pray that nothing horrible has happened.
I’m pacing in front of the main desk at the hospital as I wait for a nurse to take me to see my uncle. Emma arrived at few minutes ago, and her support comforts me. She hasn’t said much, but worry is etched on her face, and I pray that we will be able to get some answers soon.
Since Andreas has no other living relatives, apart from my mum, the staff didn’t seem to have any problems releasing his information, but I wish like fuck they’d hurry up and take us to him!
I fall down on a chair next to Emma, and she grabs my hand immediately, intertwining our fingers.
Rubbing my arm, she says, “I’m sure the nurse will be back soon.”
I look at her briefly and rub the stubble on my chin. “Yeah, you’re probably right . . . But couldn’t she have told us something at least before leaving us here?” Tension mixed with dread coils in the pit of my stomach, but Emma placing her hand on my cheek eases it a bit, and I smile faintly.
“He’ll be alright, Daniel.” She stares fiercely into my eyes, and I take heart at seeing the confidence there.
I open my mouth to respond but hearing my name called from behind me stops me, and I jump out of my chair and walk to the blonde walking towards me.
Wait a minute . . . That’s not a nurse.
The woman is quite clearly a doctor, and I ask sharply, “What’s wrong with my uncle?” Absentmindedly, I feel Emma rise from her seat to stand close beside me.
“Mr. Larsen, my name is Dr. Alice Christensen. Please allow me to provide you with some facts before I take you to him.”
I cross my arms and narrow my eyes at her, waiting impatiently for her to get a move on.
“Your uncle appears to have suffered a massive heart attack. Some of the customers from his bookshop dialled 1-1-2 when he suddenly collapsed, and, luckily, one of them knew how to perform CPR. He was brought here swiftly, and while he is still very weak, he is stabile for now.”
Fuck.
“Okay, thank you. Can we see him now, please?” I ask her, and she gives me a small smile.
“I’ll take you to him. He’s understandably very weak but lucid. He needs rest so it’ll have to be a short visit for now.” She turns, and I glance quickly at Emma who looks to be close to tears, so I put an arm around her shoulder and we
follow the doctor to Andreas’ room.
When we reach the private room he’s in, the doctor says, “Please go in and sit with him. But remember what I said: you can’t stay long as he needs to rest.” With that, she leaves us alone.
A pang hits me in my chest as I take in his sleeping form. He’s always been a bit on the skinny side, physically that is, but seeing him lying there, covered with wires, and what I can only guess is a heart monitor, he seems frail, vulnerable...older beyond his years. This is bad. I don’t care what the doctor says, but this is not good.
Emma places a hand to my abs, half turning in my arms, and I realise that I have yet to move closer to him. I swallow the lump in my throat, reluctant to leave the safety of the threshold where I have easy access to the exit, yet I allow her to nudge me further inside until we’re standing close together next to his bed.
This is the last place on earth I want to be right now, but I have no real choice: this man is my family, and I owe him so much for getting me to the point where I am today.
“The hardest choices in life are usually the right ones -- only cowards choose the easy way out.”
He told me that once, but here I am years later, hesitating to touch him even when I ought to know that he would want that.
Shit, I really am a chicken, aren’t I? Well, that ends today.
I release my hold on Emma, and she takes a deep breath as I sit down on the incredibly ugly and uncomfortable plastic chair placed next to the hospital bed.
“Don’t go,” I whisper and turn my head slightly in her direction.
She wraps her arms around me and kisses me on my neck before she whispers, “I won’t, I promise. But do you want a coffee or anything?”
“No, thank you. I just...” my voice breaks with suppressed emotion, and I wipe my damp eyes on my T-shirt. Clearing my throat, I try to continue without breaking down completely. “I just need you, sweetheart.”
“You have me, honey. Always.” She gives me a lingering hug, and I pull strength from her.
My girl . . . the one who once called me a white knight? Even though it was only said in jest, I have believed myself to be one. But she is the stronger of the two of us.