by Joy, E. n.
That morning of the day Tamarra had come to his apartment, Maeyl had received the test results from the DNA test Pastor had suggested they take. It had been Maeyl’s idea to counsel with Pastor the Sunday Sasha finally decided to acknowledge Maeyl as her child’s father. She had told him that she’d known exactly who he was the moment she saw him standing in the center church aisle that day she went to the altar for salvation. Her intentions were never to hunt the man down whom she knew had fathered her child, but in her mind, it had to have been fate.
She shared with Maeyl how life had been a struggle for her in raising her daughter alone, but it was something she had prepared herself to do when she decided to keep the baby. It was a burden that she thought she was prepared to haul alone, but when her child was diagnosed with displaying signs of having autism, she knew it was more than she could bear.
As she sat in the lobby of the doctor’s office crying after learning of her child’s diagnosis, a woman just walked up to her. The woman, seeing Sasha clinging to her daughter, laid hands on both Sasha and her daughter and began to pray. She prayed that the devil’s assignment on their lives be canceled. She also prayed that God would heal and deliver the child of any diagnostic or report from man that did not line up with the Word of God or His will for the child’s life. Of everything the woman prayed, the words “Lord, your Word says that you will give this woman no more than she can bear,” stuck out in Sasha’s head. Never attending church regularly as an adult, or even the same church twice for that matter, Sasha felt that at that point in her life, the Lord was her only chance at help.
The way Sasha saw it, God was bound and determined to apprehend her. When she exited the clinic, she saw a sign stapled to the telephone pole inviting all, the sinners and the saved, to Easter Sunday service at New Day Temple of Faith. Sasha was a sinner who needed salvation. She almost hadn’t been able to make it on Easter Sunday due to her car breaking down with a flat tire, but she eventually made it after a Good Samaritan helped her change her flat. Upon arriving at New Day, she realized that it was one of the few churches she had visited in the past. When she saw Maeyl standing there that day in church, even though she didn’t have a relationship with the Lord before walking down to that altar and giving her life to Him, she knew her help had come from the Lord in the form of her baby’s daddy.
Now faced with the dilemma of denying or proclaiming proudly his daughter, Maeyl chose the latter.
“As a matter of fact,” Maeyl puffed out his chest and declared, “I do have a child. A daughter. Her name is Sakaya.”
Chapter Twenty-five
“Come on in and take a seat, Uriah,” Pastor Davidson instructed as he led Uriah into his office. “I’m so glad that the Lord made it so that you were in town this weekend and able to come fellowship with us.”
“It is indeed a blessing to be able to hear you give the Word live and in person, Pastor Davidson. Bethany makes sure I get a copy of the CD of your preachings when she can. I listen to them faithfully while on the road, but there ain’t nothing like being right here to hear them in the presence of the Lord amongst the saints,” Uriah declared as he took a seat at the chair across from the pastor’s desk.
After service today, Pastor Davidson had made a beeline straight to Uriah. It was odd because one of the church members had invited a slew of her unchurched family members to attend, yet Pastor Davidson bypassed them all, giving them a simple handshake and wave along with a “Thank you for coming, God bless you, good-bye.” It was the church version of what Russell Simmons did at the end of every episode of his Def Comedy Jam.
Pastor Davidson appeared overjoyed to have his brother in Christ in the building. Forsaking all new visitors and his attempt to greet them, ultimately getting them to join Living Word, he asked Uriah if he could have a few minutes of his time to chat it up in his office. Now the two sat in Pastor Davidson’s office doing just that.
“Well, I do hope those sermons have been a blessing to you while on the road,” Pastor Davidson stated.
“I assure you that they have.”
There was a moment of awkward silence before Pastor Davidson spoke again. “So Bethany must be beside herself to have you home.” Pastor leaned back in his chair and offered Uriah a knowing look.
“Surely not as happy as I am to be home, and for three whole days straight. I just couldn’t believe that for some reason I wasn’t on the log for any runs. Right on time to celebrate my son’s seventeenth birthday. God is awesome. I know it was Him who orchestrated all of this. At first, I was a little disappointed to hear that I wouldn’t be hauling for three whole days. No hauling means no money. But like you preached today, Pastor, I’m going to trust in the Lord that He’ll make a way for all of my family’s needs to be met. God’s bigger than any paycheck I could ever receive,” Uriah testified, on the verge of letting out a Holy Ghost shout. “Being able to be here with my family is priceless.”
“That’s good to hear,” Pastor Davidson said. “I, too, am glad that you were able to be here at church and also at home with your wife and kids. I know it must be difficult for Sister Bethany sometimes to have a husband who is always away from home. I know that even though I’ve been in the ministry for years, First Lady Davidson still gets a little lonesome when I have to go away to conferences and whatnot. But there ain’t nothing like the warm welcome I get when I return home, if you know what I mean.” Once again, Pastor Davidson gave Uriah a knowing look. This time he added a wink.
“Uhh, well, uhh yeah,” Uriah stammered with downcast eyes. He was a little uncomfortable with the direction in which the conversation was now going.
Pastor Davidson anxiously leaned in, trying to read Uriah’s expression. He couldn’t tell if Uriah was looking away out of the embarrassment of his pastor’s innuendo about his and his wife’s bedroom life, or if he were looking away out of embarrassment that he and Bethany perhaps didn’t have a bedroom life. Pastor decided to dig deeper. “You do get that warm welcome, don’t you, brother?”
“Well, uhh, in all honesty, Pastor, I really haven’t had the time.” Uriah was almost ashamed to say it.
“Haven’t had the time? You’ve been home three days, and you’re leaving this evening, right?”
Uriah nodded. The look of shame had not erased itself.
“And you mean to tell me you and Sister Bethany haven’t—you know—welcomed one another in the proper fashion in which husbands and wives do?”
“Well, when I got in on Friday, all we did was celebrate Hudson’s birthday. I’d driven all the way in from Atlanta just to get home, so by the end of the night I was dead tired. I didn’t wake up until after two o’clock in the afternoon the next day. I only got up then because I’d promised Pastor Frey I’d join him on his visits with the sick and shut in.”
“What?” Pastor Davidson’s tone was that of anger. He almost jumped up out of his chair. Realizing he’d almost come out the pocket, he relaxed back into his chair. “I mean, how could Pastor Frey ask you to do such a thing knowing you’d need to spend time with your family?”
“Oh, he didn’t ask me,” Uriah corrected, “I offered and insisted. After all, that man has made it a point to be there for my family. He was faithful with visiting Beth while she was sick and shut in. He allowed God to use him without murmur or complaint. I wanted to do God’s work too while I had the opportunity.”
“I see,” Pastor Davidson’s mouth said, but Uriah could tell by his demeanor that he didn’t understand. More than likely had a bone to pick with Pastor Frey. “I guess by the time you got finished running with Pastor Frey you were wore out.”
“No, not really, but after I got home and ate up that wonderful meal Doreen made for the family, I couldn’t move. Fell asleep right there on the living room couch and didn’t wake up until it was time for church this morning. My sister-in-law can burn. Doreen ain’t no joke in the kitchen.”
“Yeah, Sister Doreen,” Pastor said as if his mind had wandered off. He seemed disappoin
ted and at his wits end. He thought for a moment before saying, “Well, like I said, I know what it’s like when you have to be on the road. Trust me, it can’t be easy for your wife either, especially with all that she’s been through. What do you say that your kids join me and First Lady for dinner tonight? Sister Doreen can join us too. I even think Pastor Frey is going to be there. That way you can have some alone time with your wife before heading out.”
“Oh no, Pastor, we couldn’t impose like that. Besides, Pastor Frey already has dinner plans with us. Doreen invited him to share in my farewell dinner before I hit the road again. As a matter of fact, I’d like to invite you and First Lady to join us. There’s plenty. With the spread Doreen’s got warming in the oven at home, she probably had to have been up cooking since five o’clock this morning. What do you say, Pastor? How about it?”
Pastor Davidson sighed, and then accepted Uriah’s invite, all the while with a look on his face the read, “If you can’t beat ’em, why not join ’em?”
Chapter Twenty-six
“How could you not tell me?” Paige spat as soon as Tamarra opened her front door. She brushed by her, threw her purse on the couch, and then turned to face her best friend. “I thought we were friends—best friends. I thought we could share any and everything with each other.”
Paige began pacing the floor. “How long have you known? When did you find out?” A horrified look covered Paige’s face. “Don’t tell me you found out along with the rest of the world during the Single’s Ministry meeting.” Paige snapped her finger. “Ooohhh, I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to fill in at work for Norman. I should have brought my tail on to that meeting like my gut had told me to do. I am still officially single you know,” she said matter of factly. “I’m not married yet. And I promise you I would have told that Maeyl about himself. Humiliating you like that. That’s something he should have at least have had the decency to share with you in private. Don’t you think?” Paige stopped pacing long enough to look toward Tamarra for agreement.
Tamarra’s eyes gazed down toward the floor as she nibbled on her bottom lip. It was a tell tale sign that Maeyl had told Tamarra before the fact.
“So you did already know?” Paige threw her hands on her hips. “And you didn’t tell me.” Paige allowed her hands to drop to her side in defeat. She immediately began pacing again. “I guess you took it well. Guess you didn’t need my little ol’ shoulder to cry on, or my little ol’ ear to vent into it.” She stopped pacing and looked at Tamarra. “I mean, did you know how stupid I felt when Sister Noel mentioned it, and I was clueless? I should have known before that walking and talking New Day Tell All book knew.”
Tamarra could tell that Paige was hurt. But she couldn’t tell if she were more hurt because Tamarra hadn’t come to her at all, or if it were because other church members had found out first. Either way, Tamarra didn’t blame her friend for being upset with her. In the past two years of their friendship, Paige had entrusted Tamarra with a great deal of things and situations she had gone through. All Paige seemed to have wanted was a little reciprocity here.
Having truly wanted to tell her best friend, and knowing she should have told her before she heard it through the grapevine, Tamarra felt bad too. On Friday night, after the single’s meeting was adjourned, she knew that it would only be a matter of time, minutes to be exact, before word would get out about Maeyl’s confession of being the father of Sasha’s daughter. It was inevitable that word would eventually get back to Paige. Tamarra was surprised it had taken this long, and she knew there was no way they were going to get through a Sunday at New Day Temple of Faith without somebody telling somebody else’s business.
The right thing for Tamarra to do would have been to call her best friend and share it with her on the day she had showed up on Maeyl’s doorstep and found out first hand. But she’d been way too humiliated to do just that. It was already hard enough for her to get that small child’s whiny voice out of her head; “Daddy?—That woman from church is at your door.”
Upon hearing those words, Tamarra’s heart had dropped down to her feet as she stood outside of Maeyl’s door as frozen as a Popsicle in a deep freezer. Even his warm, loving voice, when he made his way to the door to greet her, didn’t unthaw her immediately. He had to call her name a couple of times, eventually coming outside onto the porch to give her a nudge.
“Tamarra, honey, are you okay?” he’d asked her.
“Uhh, yeah, uhh, fine—I guess,” she said, slowly coming out of her daze. “Did that little girl just call you Daddy?” There was no beating around the bush on Tamarra’s end, not today. She’d played games with Maeyl long enough trying to get him to tell her the real deal about him and this Sasha woman, the real deal of which her spirit had already tried to tell her about. But no, she didn’t want to trust the voice within her. She just had to hear it from the horse’s mouth. So God gave her exactly what she wanted.
“Yes, she did call me Daddy,” Maeyl had confessed, looking Tamarra in the eyes, waiting for her reaction.
A nervous chuckle escaped Tamarra’s lips. “And why, might I ask, would she be calling you that?”
“Because I am,” Maeyl said without hesitation. “And I have a DNA test to prove it.”
Tamarra turned as pale as a ghost and almost lost her balance.
“Are you okay?” Maeyl asked her, supporting her by the arm. Tamarra was too beside herself to even reply. “I’m sorry, Tamarra. This isn’t how I wanted you to find out. But you weren’t really speaking with me and—”
“Then you should have spoken to me!” Tamarra snapped, raising her tone.
Maeyl looked over his shoulder to make sure his houseguests weren’t witnessing the brewing argument. “I tried, but you wouldn’t take any of my calls since the day you stormed out of here.”
“Then you should have left me a message!” Her tone was even louder.
“This isn’t really the type of thing you leave your woman a message about over the phone.”
“Then you should have driven to my house.”
“Without calling first? You wouldn’t take my calls.”
“Oh, enough already!” Tamarra yelled at the top of her lungs, frustrated that Maeyl seemed to have a comeback for everything she said. “You’re just full of excuses, aren’t you?” Tamarra looked him up and down. “I just wonder what your excuse is for being a whoremonger!”
“Daddy?” There was that little whiny voice again. “What’s a whoremonger?”
Both Tamarra and Maeyl were startled by Sakaya standing in the doorway.
“Come on, baby, I think we better come back and see Daddy another time.” Sasha had appeared in the doorway behind Sakaya, swooping her up in one arm while carrying her purse and an American Girl doll that resembled and was dressed identical to the child in her other arm. She gave Maeyl a remorseful look as she exited the apartment. “I’m so sorry, Maeyl.” She looked to Tamarra. “We’re sorry.” She began to make her way down the steps.
“Sasha, wait, you don’t have to go,” Maeyl called out.
“Actually we do.” Sasha looked from Tamarra to Maeyl. “I think you two need to talk.” She looked at her daughter. “In private and without virgin ears around.”
“Mommy? What’s a virgin?” The child was full of questions. She didn’t miss a beat. Autistic she wasn’t. Either the doctors had originally misdiagnosed, or when that woman laid hands on the child and both prayed for a healing and rebuked the doctor’s reports, it worked. Because when Sasha took the child to another doctor for a second opinion, no signs of autism were detected. Either way, Sasha had given God all the glory for her daughter being a normal, healthy child.
“I’ll call you later, Maeyl,” Sasha stated. “Good-bye, Sister Tam—Tamarra?”
Tamarra was surprised to see that this woman knew her name. That only meant one thing; Maeyl had been discussing her with that woman. It burned Tamarra up to know that Maeyl had been discussing her with another woman. “Yes, that’s r
ight. It’s Tamarra. But best you believe, I am no sister of yours.” There was a gasp from both Maeyl and Sasha’s mouth. Not even Tamarra could believe she had spoken the words she’d only meant to think. Served her right though, for even thinking something so ugly. Especially after Pastor was always preaching about how everybody is God’s children. How everyone are brothers and sisters in Christ.
Knowing she was dead wrong for the way she had come off at Sasha, Tamarra wanted to apologize, but her pride wouldn’t let her. Her woe is me attitude wouldn’t let her. As far as she was concerned, she was the victim in this situation. It was understandable if she said a thing or two that wasn’t Christ-like, wasn’t it? She couldn’t have apologized if she wanted to, as Sasha quickly made her way to her vehicle, strapped Sakaya into the backseat, and drove away.
After watching Sasha peel off, Maeyl had insisted that he and Tamarra take their conversation inside. The neighbors had already heard more than they needed to. It was inside that Maeyl explained to Tamarra how Sasha had been conceived, how he never knew the child even existed, how it was God’s doing that the child’s mother and he even crossed paths again. Maeyl insisted that this didn’t change the way he felt about Tamarra and that things wouldn’t change between them. It was then that Tamarra decided she’d sweep her pride up under the rug and pretend that love conquered all. All the while, deep inside, this was the one instance in which she felt that the Bible had perhaps been in error when it stated that love could cover a multitude. For some reason, as much as she loved Maeyl, she just didn’t feel as though it could cover the circumstances she now found herself in.
Why she had been so surprised, so stunned, at hearing the child refer to Maeyl as Daddy she didn’t know. Her spirit had already told her such from the moment she’d looked into the little girl’s eyes. The girl’s words were nothing more than further confirmation. Now Tamarra realized that as agonizing as not knowing was, sometimes knowing was even more agonizing. Darn that Eve for eating from the Tree of Knowledge!