by Joy, E. n.
With raised eyebrows, Mother Doreen replied, “Look, I understand what you’re going through, child, but don’t be talking to me like I’m one of your little homegirls, a’ight?” Mother Doreen said with a sassy attitude to reflect that she was just hip enough to know that she was being disrespected by the way her niece was coming at her.
Ignoring her aunt’s contempt, Sadie continued in her same disrespectful tone. “It’s just like in church. Yeah, us younger kids might joke around, talk and pass a note here and there while pastor is preaching. We might even laugh at Sister So-and-So who’s singing off key, but we hear and see everything that’s going on. Us kids could tell you everything Pastor taught on while the grown ups thought we weren’t paying attention.” Once again, Sadie gave off a tsk sound. “You grown folks always talking about how God is in the midst of everything. Well, if He’s been in the midst of everything that’s been going on around here and in that church, then I don’t want any parts of Him.” She folded her arms adamantly and flopped back down on her bed. She then lightly mumbled, “No wonder Hudson got a girl pregnant.”
“What?”
The loud voice forced both Sadie and Mother Doreen to turn their heads toward the bedroom doorway, the direction from which the voice had come.
“Did you say—” Bethany grabbed her two month baby bump and gasped, “—that your brother—”she gasped again,“—got a girl pregnant?”
Bethany had already shared with everyone the information she’d known since two weeks after she’d missed her last period, that she was pregnant. She couldn’t have hidden it much longer anyway, even if she’d wanted to. Due to her small, petite, thin frame, even though she was only a little bit pregnant, it was still obvious that she was with child.
Of course, prior to Bethany letting the cat out of the bag, Mother Doreen had already suspected as much, but Bethany had refused to confirm it since a part of her hadn’t known exactly what she was going to do about the pregnancy. She’d never been an advocate for abortion or pro-choice. She’d always been pro-life without wavering, that was until she turned up pregnant at a time and an age in her life when the last thing she wanted was another child. She understood perfectly that split second thought Sarah Palin spoke of when learning she was pregnant with her last child. But with the recent death of Bethany’s husband, being the cause behind the loss of another life was something she was not going to be a part of. An abortion was out of the question.
“I think you heard her right,” Mother Doreen replied to her sister’s query. “I think we both heard the child right.” Mother Doreen hadn’t taken her eyes off Sadie since the words had escaped from her mouth. She prayed that if she stared at her long enough, the words would find their way back in. That it wouldn’t be so; that she wasn’t about to be a great aunt. That her sister wasn’t about to become a grandmother.
Sadie threw her hands up in the air. That secret was out now too. Hudson had just shared with Sadie the night before the fact that he’d gotten the girl he had been dating pregnant. He made Sadie promise that she wouldn’t tell anyone, but Sadie knew her brother. She knew Hudson well enough to know that he knew she couldn’t keep a secret to save her life. He was only telling her because of the very fact that he knew she would blab. Sadie telling the secret would let him off the hook from having to tell their mother. He figured that this way, by the time his mother confronted him about it, she’d already have had her initial outburst of anger and would perhaps go a lot easier on him than she would have had he been the bearer of such news.
“Oh, Jesus!” Bethany cried out.
“Bethany, honey, sit down.” Mother Doreen immediately ran to the aid of her sister, guiding her over to the chair at Bethany’s work desk. “Are you okay? Can I get you some water or something?”
“Heck no, I ain’t okay,” Bethany said, breathing deeply, still rubbing her belly. “Did I just hear that my seventeen-year-old son is going to be a—going to be a—a—”
“A daddy?” Sadie finished her mother’s sentence. “That’s exactly what you heard. Looks like little Frey the second there is going to have a playmate around here.” Sadie laughed sarcastically.
Both Bethany and Mother Doreen’s mouths dropped open in complete shock.
“Like I said,” Sadie snared at Bethany, “I know what’s going on around here. Daddy might not have because he never stayed around long enough to figure things out, but I’m not a fool. I may not be the brightest bulb on the string of lights, but I’m smart enough to figure out that Pastor Frey has been sniffing around you, Mama, way more than Daddy has. So when you turned up pregnant, I did the math. Either that baby is Pastor Frey’s, or you’re another candidate for the Immaculate Conception, because it sure as heck can’t be Daddy’s.”
Bethany covered her mouth with her hand and began to shake her head in shame. She’d been so tangled up in the covers of the messy bed she’d made for herself, that she never stopped to think for one minute that her children had an inkling of what was going on.
Sadie chuckled at the surprising look on her mother’s face. “Yeah, I thought so.”
It was evident that Sadie was directing her hurt at the loss of her father toward her mother. She had to blame someone, and from the sounds of things, Bethany and God were running a tight race. Mother Doreen was sympathetic with her niece’s pain, but still, she wasn’t having it.
“Do you think this is funny, little girl?” Mother Doreen spoke in a tone in which her niece had never heard her speak. Her voice was loud with much authority.
To Sadie, this was uncharacteristic of her Aunt Doreen. All of a sudden, there was something different about her aunt’s demeanor; like she meant business. The woman she was looking at now seemed to have a no nonsense aura about her. “Do you?” Mother Doreen said sternly as she marched back toward Sadie.
“No, ma’am,” Sadie said. She cowered down at first, but then it was like whatever had gotten into her aunt had gotten into her also. She lifted her head and puffed out her chest. Her shoulders were straight as she challenged Mother Doreen with her eyes. “But are you even surprised, Auntie, that Hudson’s in the predicament he’s in? I mean, look at the predicament his own mother is in.”
Bethany gasped. “Sadie, trust me, you have no idea what you’re talking about.” She’d not wanted her daughter to know that her cruel words were getting to her, but the tears that dared to fill her eyes and roll over her bottom lid gave her away. Bethany was hurt. Mother Doreen was infuriated.
“Look, child, grieving or not, I will not allow you to disrespect your mother like that,” Mother Doreen scolded. “The Bible says to honor thy—”
“Blah, blah, blah.” Sadie covered her ears as if she didn’t want to hear it. “I don’t care about that Bible or God anymore. Look where it’s all gotten this family! We’re like some trashy chick lit novel turned Lifetime movie. Starring Bethany the whoremonger and co-starring Doreen, the Bible toting sister who—”
Before Mother Doreen knew it, her hands were on her niece’s wrists, snatching her hands away from her ears. Sadie was in shock as her auntie gripped her wrists with a death grip. Sadie tried to snatch away, but Mother Doreen was locked down on her like a parking boot on a car with ten unpaid parking tickets.
“Reen!” Bethany said hysterically at the now physical altercation that was taking place between her sister and her fourteen-year-old daughter.
Mother Doreen and Sadie were so involved in their tussle, that they never even saw Bethany leap up from the chair, trip over the throw rug at the foot of Sadie’s bed, and land flat on her stomach.
Chapter Thirty-two
“Daddy, can I get dessert?” Sakaya asked Maeyl as the two of them, along with Tamarra sat in Family Café.
“What do you think, Tamarra? Should I let her? Is she a clean plater?” Maeyl teased Sakaya. He was making every effort to include Tamarra in their little playful venture.
Tamarra subconsciously rolled her eyes in her head. While some women would have admired
a black man doing everything he could to form a bonding relationship with his little girl, Tamarra was sickened by it, and embarrassed, and disgusted. She was ashamed as well, ashamed for feeling this way toward the little girl. Or was it toward Maeyl? Or was it toward the entire situation altogether? She didn’t know. All she did know was that she was not doing too well coping with the cards she’d been dealt.
Tamarra had been pretty distant from Maeyl. He thought it was because of the developing circumstances of him finding out he had a three-year-old daughter that he never knew about. And indeed it was. But it was also the fact that Tamarra had been dealing with the situation involving her mother and jailed brother. Now that that situation seemed to be somewhat under control, she knew it was time she faced this one as well.
When she had called Maeyl yesterday and suggested the three of them catch the latest Disney animated flick and a bite to eat, he’d at first declined.
“Sakaya is just now getting used to having me as her daddy,” he’d told Tamarra over the phone. “I don’t know if introducing her to the woman in her daddy’s life is such a good idea right now.”
As soon as he’d said the words, Tamarra recalled his support in the Single’s Ministry meeting of a single parent waiting three months before introducing their children to the person they are dating. She assumed the same applied in their situation. When she’d replied to the rejection with, “Then I guess I’ll ask you again in what, three months?” Maeyl quickly sensed her hurt feelings. That’s when he decided to go ahead and give it a shot. So now here the three of them were: Daddy, daughter and . . . the girlfriend.
“Tamarra, what do you think?” Maeyl repeated when he didn’t get a response from Tamarra. “Tamarra, is Sakaya a clear plater? Tamarra?”
“Oh, huh? What? I’m sorry,” she apologized. “What did you say?” Tamarra’s mind had wandered off just that quickly. She’d been too busy looking around the restaurant to see who was in there, who was there pointing and laughing at her. Poor Tamarra keeps hooking up with all these men with these babies’ mamas. She could just look at their moving lips and know those were the words they were speaking. And she didn’t blame them. Heck, she was thinking it too. She was uneasy, uncomfortable, and embarrassed. She could have kicked herself for even making the suggestion that they do a group thing in the first place.
“You should do what my mom always tells me to do,” Sakaya suggested to Tamarra. “You should put on your listening ears. My mommy takes her hands, puts them in her pocket, pulls them out, and then places them on my ears.” The little girl demonstrated on her father. “I’m sure she has some extra ones that you can have. She has lots of them.” Sakaya smiled at Tamarra. “I’m sure my mommy won’t mind sharing her stuff with you. She’s already sharing Daddy.”
Even in trying to force a smile, Tamarra couldn’t. Just the thought of that Sasha woman created a brewing sensation in Tamarra’s stomach. The idea of that woman sharing anything with Tamarra, even a set of make believe ears, let alone her man, made her temperature rise.
“Can you two excuse me for a minute?” Tamarra asked. “I need to go to the little girl’s room.”
“As big as you are?” Sakaya asked. “You should probably go to the ladies room. That’s where my mom always goes.”
Tamarra really did need to go to the bathroom now because if that child mentioned her mother one more time, she was going to puke.”
Chuckling at his daughter’s comment, Maeyl said, “Go on, honey. We’ll be waiting out here for you. I’m going to order Sakaya some dessert.”
Tamarra smiled and made a beeline toward the bathroom. She couldn’t get inside soon enough. She leaned over the sink, balancing herself with her arms as she stared down into the face bowl. She closed her eyes and shook her head. “Lord, what am I doing?”
“Something you have no business doing,” a voice replied, “and on top of that, something you don’t want to be doing.”
For a minute there, Tamarra thought she finally had proof that God was a woman, but then she opened her eyes and looked up to see that the female voice she’d just heard had come from Zelda.
“Excuse me?” Tamarra said.
“You just asked the Lord what you were doing,” Zelda reminded her. “Well, I guess He decided to use a wretch like me to come on in here and provide you with the answer.” Tamarra remained silent. “Yeah, I saw you out there.” Zelda nodded toward the bathroom door. “You looked as uncomfortable as a plus size woman whose girlfriends haven’t told her she’s fat, so she’s still shopping in the Misses department.”
Tamarra couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “Zelda, you sure do have a way with words. I guess that’s what’s missing up in New Day now that you’re gone. I used to love when you had altar duties. You’d make it plain, my sister, that’s for sure. Sure do wish you were still attending.”
“Oh, no. Don’t you dare try to turn the tables,” Zelda said, shooing her hand. “God sent me in here to minister to you, not the other way around.” Zelda stood next to Tamarra, leaning backward against the sink. “So why is it that you’re out there trying to play step-mommy when you just ain’t got it in you?”
“Excuse me?” This time Tamarra was offended.
“Oh, girl, please don’t act like I just offended your character. You know I’m speaking the truth. And believe me, ain’t nothing wrong with it. Some of us women are just not cut out to be step-mama. It’s either our children or nobody’s children. Ain’t no sin in it. You have to love that child because it’s one of God’s commandments, but you don’t have to be her step-mommy. And you can still love Maeyl, but it don’t mean you have to be his wife.” Zelda paused to allow the words she had just spoken to sink into Tamarra’s brain. “Ain’t nothing wrong with y’all going back to just being friends.”
As the words saturated her mind and heart, Tamarra lowered her head. “But I want so badly to be that man’s wife.” She pointed toward the door that separated them from the dining area of the restaurant. “He’s a good man—a man that I love. And Zelda, I thought I’d never love again after divorcing my husband of fifteen years. I really felt that Maeyl was the man God had for me to take away all of my pain and bitterness.”
“Then I guess that was your first mistake. See, God’s Word says that He sent us a comforter by way of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is our piece of God here on earth and our peace in God. So you looked toward a man to restore you instead of the person the Bible says is a restorer. No wonder God’s removing Maeyl from your life.”
“What? What do you mean removing him from my life?”
“Don’t be in denial, Tamarra.” Realizing that her from the hip manners were probably too hard for Tamarra’s fragile state right now, Zelda toned down her disposition. “Look, Tamarra,” she placed her hand on Tamarra’s shoulder, “you owe it to that man to be real. You don’t want to deal with that daughter of his no more than Elizabeth Edwards wants to deal with that baby John Edwards is accused of fathering.”
In the midst of wanting to break down and cry, Tamarra chuckled at Zelda’s last comparison.
“You know I’m right, and you know it’s wrong for you to pretend that you do. Girl, we can’t all be Tina Turner and take in Ike’s kids when the mamma drops them off on the doorstep. It don’t mean we don’t have a heart. It means we are following our heart. I know plenty of women who try to hide their true feelings for the sake of keeping the man, but it ain’t right. It ain’t fair, and it ain’t right. Don’t you be one of those women. Sooner or later your true feelings will surface, and it will hinder that man’s relationship with his daughter. He’ll be too busy trying to walk on eggshells around you to give that little girl all the love and attention she needs from her daddy. Too many step-mothers and girlfriends control their man’s relationship with the children he had from other relationships. Now that is what should be the sin. So don’t be ashamed or think that you are less than a loving Christian woman of God just because you don’t want to take on a relati
onship with a man who has children by another woman. It’s those women out there who are faking it who should be ashamed.
Tamarra sniffed as she took in the Rhema word Zelda was delivering. “God sure can use you in His ministry to do kingdom work. You should consider coming back to New Day, or any church for that matter,” Tamarra said to Zelda as Zelda handed her a tissue to wipe away the few tears that had dropped from her eyes.
“Tamarra, yes I know what the Bible says about fellowshipping among those with like minds, et cetera. But think about it, I didn’t have to be a member of New Day or any other church in order for Him to allow me to operate in His ministry. This right here, dear, is kingdom work. No offense, Tamarra, because I know you mean well, but it’s Christians like you that make sinners like me believe the only place a sinner can get saved is in the church house and by the preacher man. God meets us in the very place of our need.” Zelda looked around. “Even if it’s in the toilet stall.”
The two women cracked up laughing and embraced.
“Thank you, Zelda. Thank you so much,” Tamarra smiled as she cleaned her face. “You told me exactly what I needed to hear. Exactly what I already knew inside. Now how am I gonna go out there and tell the man I love?”
Chapter Thirty-three
For the past week, Lorain had pretty much been estranged from her mother. With the new development involving Unique, she just couldn’t deal with her mother, not right now. There were too many pieces of the puzzle that she had to fit together. If everything fit the way she thought it would, the facts of her life would definitely turn out to be stranger than fiction.
“God, this is too much,” Lorain said in a low whisper as she surfed the Internet, something she’d been doing for the past three days. She’d keyed in her credit card number more times than she swiped it on a weekend shoe shopping binge in an attempt to find out the needed information to verify what she thought to be true.
Personally, her gut feeling was all she needed to go by, but if she were ever going to speak on what she felt to be true, she knew that she would need tangible evidence. She’d gone to the Columbus Dispatch website and paid for some archived news articles that could verify her claim. She’d even located a website that, for a modest fee, could give her personal information on individuals such as their current address, previous address, even their neighbor’s address.