It’s incredibly annoying, and they will be “lost” by morning.
The truck drives all through downtown Seattle, by the famous Pike’s Place market, through old Bell Town and then it drives right into the water of Lake Washington, and takes a tour about the lake, giving us a fantastic view of the Seattle skyline.
The girls are loving it.
“Yes, it is,” I agree and smile at Josie. “But how do you know?”
“Because it’s by the really good donut place,” she grins. “I like the glazed ones.”
“Ah, that’s right,” I nod and have a sudden craving for glazed donuts myself. “We went there the last time we stopped by to see Jules and Nate.”
Josie giggles as I tug on one of her long pony-tails and I glance over at Caleb, who hasn’t paid attention to one word the tour guide has said, but instead watches every person on the truck intently, his eyes narrowed. He and I are both seated on the aisle, giving the girls the window seats so they can see everything the tour guide is describing.
“Relax,” I murmur over at him.
He doesn’t even look my way.
I purse my duck call between my lips and blow it in his face.
He whips his head around and glares at me.
“Relax,” I tell him again, with a grin. “This is fun.”
His body is tense, every muscle flexed and ready to jump into action. His phone rings and he reaches for it and has it pressed to his ear before the second ring.
“Montgomery.”
And suddenly, like magic, it’s as though his body deflates like a balloon. “Thank God.”
He listens and then chuckles. “Yeah, well, that’s one less thing we need to worry about, but we’re not out of the woods. Okay, later.”
He hangs up and exhales, pushes his hand through his hair and finally glances down at me. “I’ll tell you when we get back to my place.”
“Good news?” I ask.
“Yeah.” He nods and scans the group again.
“They’re the same people that were there twenty seconds ago. They haven’t changed, Caleb.”
“I don’t like crowds,” he murmurs as he shakes his head, his eyes trained on the exits, body still alert. I reach over and lace my fingers through his, anchoring him to me. I can’t imagine what’s going through his head right now. The girls are oblivious, loving the sights and sounds of the city, dancing along with the music and blowing into their duck calls.
“Thank you for this,” I murmur to him and he nods once then breathes a sigh of relief when the vehicle stops back where we started and the passengers begin to dismount.
“Now what?” Maddie asks with a wide grin.
“Let’s get ice cream!” Josie exclaims as we stand to be the last ones to leave.
“Let’s go to the movies!” Maddie joins in.
Caleb swears under his breath and tugs one of each of the girls hands into his own as we walk past the Experience Music Project toward the parking garage.
We lucked out on the weather today. For February, it’s relatively warm, and rain-free.
Thank God.
“Caleb! Look! Cotton candy!” Josie points at a red and white cart, laden with clouds of cotton candy in plastic bags, popcorn and slushy’s.
“Okay, we can do cotton candy,” Caleb grins down at the girls and leads us to the cart.
“I want pink!” Maddie and Josie exclaim at the same time.
“Two pink cotton candies,” Caleb chuckles at the older woman working inside the cart. She smiles widely and hands them over, then collects the money for them from Caleb.
“Your family is beautiful,” she winks. “And your girls clearly have you wrapped around their little fingers.”
I tense for a moment, my eyes glued to Caleb’s face. He continues to stare down at his wallet, a smile tugging on his lips, but then he frowns almost regretfully. Finally, he glances back up to the kind woman, offering her a fake smile.
“Thank you,” he replies simply, accepts his change and hands the girls their sweets.
“What do you say?” I remind my girls.
“Thank you!” Their voice is a chorus of excitement as they dive into the sweet confection and nibble their treat.
“Thank you,” I mutter to Caleb who meets my gaze with sad blue eyes.
“You’re welcome.”
***
“I want to stay here, Brynna.” Caleb’s hands are braced on the countertop at his hips as he leans against it and glares at me in exasperation.
“Absolutely not,” I shake my head furiously, fold the dish towel in half length-wise and drape it over the cabinet door beneath the sink. “We have a life to get back to.”
“Brynna, listen to me…”
“Caleb,” I interrupt him, my voice calm and quiet and he stops talking and watches me carefully. “No. My girls need to go to school. I have a job. Yes, Levi is creepy, but…”
“Levi is no longer an issue.” Caleb crosses his arms over his chest, drawing my gaze to his rippled biceps and I have to press my knees together from the zing of electricity that zooms through my pussy.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“He’s been fired.”
I stand and watch him, waiting for him to explain further.
“That was Matt on the phone today.” Caleb sighs and shakes his head. “The extensive background check came back. He has no violent history, which means he’s just a creepy guy with a crush.”
“So, he just figured Matt and I are together?” I ask and feel a light sweat break out on my forehead.
“Yeah.” He chuckles and pulls me to him, as though he can’t stand to be apart from me for one more second, even if we are arguing. “He thought Matt was your husband because he picks you up from work every day.”
I close my eyes as I sigh and lean my forehead against his chest. “Thank God.”
“He’s still been fired. Even if he doesn’t have a record, he was inappropriate with you. Isaac fired him before I showed up there and ripped his balls off.”
I laugh and lift my head to gaze up into his eyes. “I handled him.”
“I really think we’re safer here, Legs.”
My smile evaporates. “No.”
He growls and pulls me against him more tightly, buries his face in my neck and takes a long, hard breath in. “You are so fucking stubborn,” he murmurs against me, the words muffled, and I can’t help but laugh at him.
“Back at you.”
“If we are going back to your house tomorrow, I have some conditions.”
“Wow, this sounds like a compromise,” I reply dryly. He bites my neck, right where it meets my shoulder, before he pulls back and glares down at me.
“One, no school bus. Either Matt or myself will take them to and from school every day. I will not budge on this.” He runs his hands soothingly up and down my back, but narrows his eyes at me, daring me to defy him.
“Yes, si-…” I catch myself and stutter, “Okay.”
Caleb smiles down at me softly. “You can say ‘yes, sir’, you know. I hear it every day.”
“Not in this lifetime,” I mutter and chuckle. “No way.”
“Okay, number two, we have the alarm system on the house expanded.”
“I can’t afford…”
“I know people, Brynna. This won’t cost you a dime, and should have been done weeks ago. I want censors on the windows and motion censor lights outside.” He stops and stares at me, waiting for me to acknowledge him, and I do with a nod.
“Number three, I want you to go to the range with me more often, and I’m leaving my nine mil with you at all times.”
I begin shaking my head, but he leans in and rests his forehead against mine and rubs our noses together. “Please,” he whispers, his voice rough, and I know it’s taking everything in him to agree to letting us go home. He wants us all to be safe. How can I find fault in that?
“Okay,” I acquiesce, and kiss his chin. “Anything else?”
“Yes, neither you nor the girls are ever to be alone. Ever.”
“Can we go to the bathroom alone?” I ask sarcastically.
“You are such a smart ass,” he responds, but his lips are pulled back into a half-smile and his eyes are happy.
“I can live with this,” I murmur and kiss his lips softly.
“Good.”
“I’m sleepy.” I yawn widely and then chuckle. “I think I’ll head to bed.”
“I’ll be along soon.” He kisses the tip of my nose before I move away from him toward the bedroom. “I have to call Matt and then I have a bit of reading to do.”
“Okay.” I grin and saunter into his bedroom, yawning once again.
***
“Holy fuck! Get down, get down! Retreat!”
Rat tat tat tat tat. Boom! Boom!
I jolt up in the bed and search frantically around, but Caleb isn’t in the bedroom.
“Take cover, Goddamn it!”
I jump from the bed and run into the living room. The lights are still on, as is the television, turned to a military show on the History channel. Caleb is laying across the couch, where he must have fallen asleep while watching the show, but he’s thrashing about, sweating and his breath is coming in hard, harsh pants.
I rush to his side and sink to my knees beside him.
What do I do? Do I touch him?
The television continues behind me. Boom! Rat tat tat tat tat!
I grab for the remote and snap the power off and then turn back to the terrorized man before me.
“Caleb,” I murmur and gently lay my hand on his bicep, and before I know it he’s rolled us both onto the floor, he’s pinning me with his huge body and wrapped his hand around my throat, squeezing.
He’s having one helluva nightmare.
And so am I.
“I said retreat, goddamn it!” He shouts and glares down at me, his eyes glazed and blank, as though he’s not really there at all. It’s the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
Holy fucking shit.
“Mommy! Mommy!” I hear the girls in the doorway, scared shitless and crying.
Dear God, don’t let him choke me to death in front of my girls.
“I’ve got you, motherfucker!” Caleb growls in my ear, and a cold sweat breaks out all over my body. Jesus, if I were an insurgent, I would just lie down and die at the sound of this voice.
He wouldn’t have to shoot me.
“Caleb,” I try again, but he squeezes even harder. I wiggle my arms free and begin hitting him on the back and sides, over and over, trying to wake him but he just pins me harder with his legs and snarls down at me. The bright color of his eagle tattoo catches my eye and I watch his shoulder muscle flex as he tightens his grip on my throat.
“Stop hurting my mommy!” Josie cries just as the edges of my vision begin to darken and I see stars.
Just as Maddie lets out an ear-piercing scream, I knee the inside of his thigh, hard, and am suddenly freed and pushed away from him, rolled onto my stomach, gasping and wheezing.
I cover my throat with my hands and cough, pull myself up onto my knees and watch Caleb’s eyes clear, the blankness replaced with horror and disgust. He scrambles away from me, in a backwards crab-crawl, until his back hits the wall.
The girls are huddled together in the doorway, clinging to each other with wide eyes, crying for me.
“Fuck me,” Caleb whispers, and my head whips around to find his knees pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped around them, and his face in his hands. He’s shaking violently.
“Caleb,” I manage, my voice hoarse, but he cringes back away from my touch and shakes his head adamantly no.
I jump from the floor and run to my babies, pull them into my arms and carry them back into their bedroom, to the full sized bed they’ve been sharing.
“Why was Caleb hurting you?” Josie sniffles and buries her face against my chest as Maddie clings to me and buries her face in my neck.
“He didn’t mean to,” I reassure them, repeating it over and over again, while reassuring myself. I kiss their heads and breathe in their sweet baby shampoo smells, rocking them back and forth. “He was having a bad nightmare.”
“He sounded scared,” Maddie murmurs and sniffles.
“I think he’s still scared,” I whisper and kiss her forehead.
“Maybe we should hug him,” Josie whispers, but cowers deeper into me.
My brave, sweet girls.
“I think Caleb needs to be alone for a little while, but you can give him lots of hugs in the morning, okay?”
They both nod. “Will you lay with us for a while?” Josie asks.
“Of course,” I reply and tuck them in, then lay with them, smoothing their hair from their faces and murmuring to them. I brush the tears from their soft cheeks and kiss them both over and over again.
“I’m okay, babies.”
“Love you, mama,” Josie whispers as she falls back into sleep.
“Love you too, brave girl.”
Maddie is already snoring softly, both of them have fallen into an exhausted sleep, and I leave them and prepare myself to confront Caleb.
Poor Caleb.
The lights are still on in the living room and I find him there, sitting on the couch, knees spread and elbows propped on his knees, his face in his hands.
“Caleb,” I whisper and his head whips up, his face in utter anguish as his bright blue eyes find mine.
“I’m so damn sorry,” he replies, his voice full of the anguish written all over his face.
“It’s not your fault.” I move to him, sit down next to him, but he pulls away.
“I shouldn’t touch you.”
“Caleb…”
“I could have killed you.” His voice breaks as he braces his face in his hands again. “Oh my God!”
“You weren’t going to kill me, Caleb.”
“Yes, I was! If I hadn’t woken up, I could have choked you out, or broken your neck.” He lowers his gaze to my throat and winces at the sight of what I can only imagine is bruises beginning to take shape. “God, baby, I’m so sorry.”
“Caleb, this has never happened before. It’s been an emotional weekend.”
“It’s never happened before with you,” he corrects me. “I haven’t slept with a woman in more than four years, Bryn. I can’t risk it. My buddies have told me stories of the things I do in my sleep.” He swallows hard and shakes his head. “But God, I love sleeping with you in my arms, and for the first time in as long as I can remember, I actually sleep when we’re together.”
He shakes his head in wonder and wipes his eyes and it breaks me that he’s crying.
“I haven’t had nightmares since our first night together.” His voice is raw with emotion and I don’t even feel my own tears running unchecked down my face. “But with you and the girls being in danger, and being on that fucking duck ride today, with all of those people, I guess it just caught up with me.”
“Explain to me about the crowds.” I sit back on the couch, facing him, and pull one leg up under me, careful not to touch him, but close enough that he can feel that I’m here.
“Crowds are the worst.” He swallows hard again and scrubs his hand over his lips as he leans back on the couch, looking up. “We are taught to always look for a choke point.”
I cock my eyebrow at him. “English, please.”
“Exit. Always know where your exits are. Crowds in Iraq are very dangerous. Those extremist fuckers will blow a whole crowd up, without hesitation.”
My heart bleeds for him as he closes his eyes, and I don’t even want to contemplate the horrors he’s seeing behind his eyelids.
“I didn’t realize you’d been in Iraq,” I murmur.
“Not often, but enough.”
He balls his hands into fists, and I can’t stand it anymore. I reach over to sooth him, rubbing my hand up and down his arm but he flinches away from me, so I climb into his lap, leaving him no choice but to wrap his ar
ms around me.
“Listen to me, very carefully.” I pull my fingers down his face, never losing eye contact with him. “I’m okay, Caleb. You didn’t kill me. You scared me.”
“The girls…” he begins but I cut him off.
“The girls are worried about you and I had to stop them from coming to find you to hug you. The girls are fine, baby.” I continue to calm him, push my fingers through his hair and down his cheek. “We’re okay.”
“I should start sleeping on the couch again,” he murmurs and sighs as though he’s resigning himself to the horrible idea. He watches my face carefully, as though looking for any fear or animosity. “But I don’t want to.”
“I don’t want you to do that either,” I shake my head and kiss his cheek. “I love having your arms around me at night. I’ve never had that before.”
He clenches his eyes closed before gazing back at me. “Me neither. I would never hurt you, sweetheart. Never.”
“Caleb, you make me feel so safe. You didn’t have this nightmare while sleeping with me. You were on the couch,” I remind him and watch his eyes as he blinks several times before focusing on me again. “With a war show on the History channel.”
“I’ve never had a nightmare while sleeping with you,” he whispers.
I smile warmly and comb my fingers through his dark blonde hair again. “I guess your couch-sleeping days are over, sailor.”
He tightens his arms around my middle and presses his face to my neck, clinging to me as I twine my arms around his shoulders and kiss his temple tenderly.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” he whispers again and I hold him close.
Tell him! Tell him you love him. My heart is so full of love for this intense, protective, broken man, but I’m confused too.
Am I in love with him, or do I just have a need to fix him?
“You’re safe with me, babe,” I respond and press my lips to his forehead. “Always.”
Chapter Eleven
~Caleb~
I wake before the sun, alert and ready to start the day, despite only getting a couple hours sleep. We need to get an early start so we can get the girls to their school, Brynna to work, and I have to get to work myself.
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