Help Our Heroes: A Military Charity Anthology

by T. L. Wainwright

  “What’s wrong?”

  I look over to see Jay stood a few feet from the bath with a concerned look on his face and a bottle of bubbles and two glasses in hand.

  “This is our last night together, isn’t it?”

  “Erin,” he says, setting the bottle and glasses down and getting in with me. He pulls me to him and starts kissing me.

  For a few hours, I forget all about what’s to come, and focus everything I have on him.

  Chapter Eight

  “Morning, Skittles,” Jay says with a wide smile from the floor where he’s doing his daily sit ups when I wake.

  “Morning.” I try to sound all chipper. Although he never confirmed it last night, I know I’ve just woken up to our last day together and I’d rather cry than smile right now.

  He gets himself up, then crawls over to me.

  “Morning breath,” I complain.

  “Don’t care.” He bats my hand out of the way and presses his lips against mine. “I’ve ordered breakfast to the room. We need to be out by eleven.”

  “Okay,” I mutter sadly as there’s a knock at the door.

  When Jay reappears, it’s with a trolley full of food. My stomach grumbles right on cue, and we both tuck in. We may have had a three-course meal last night but we did plenty of exercise to burn it off after. My face heats as I recollect everything we did together. Once Jay was happy I’d recovered from our first time, he made sure to show me how it should be, and true to his word, he’d had me screaming—more than once.

  “It was pretty incredible, right?” Jay says when he looks over and notices my blush.

  “Yeah. Jay—”

  “I can’t put it off any longer, can I?”

  I shake my head. “It’s our last day, isn’t it?”

  “I’m sorry, Skittles. I’ve got to head back.”

  “Where’s back?”

  “Germany,” he admits.

  “WHAT!”

  “I’m based in Germany.”

  My heart sinks. I’ve no idea if carrying this on is even a possibility but I was under the impression he at least lived in this country. “Oh.”

  “That’s not it.”

  I look up at him as a ball of dread starts to grow in my stomach. The look on his face isn’t showing he’s about to share some good news.

  “I’m about to go on a six month tour of Afghanistan.”

  I drop the pastry in my hand and I vaguely hear the thud as it falls from the bed.

  “We fly out on Monday from base. I’m so sorry,” he says when he watches my first tear drop. “I didn’t want our time to be tainted by it. I was so looking forward to going, getting back into the thick of it and then…and then I met you.” My first sob erupts. “Erin,” he whispers as he grabs my hands. “I wasn’t expecting this to turn into anything. I thought we’d have a little fun and that would be it. I wasn’t expecting to…”

  “To…”

  He looks up to the ceiling and lets out a long breath. “To…fall in love with you.”

  I collapse onto his chest and cry. I cry like I haven’t in years, since that day we found out my dad had been killed. The thought of that brings on another round of sobs. Jay holds me the whole time and whispers sweet things in my ear, rubbing my back.

  “I…I love you, too,” I manage to admit eventually. And for the first time since I met him, I see Jay get a little choked up. It does nothing for my fragile state to see tears in his eyes.

  “I’m so sorry. I should have told you.”

  “No. I don’t think you should have. If I knew before we left, I probably wouldn’t have come with you, and then I wouldn’t have ever experienced any of this. I wouldn’t have experienced you.”

  “Fuck. I wasn’t expecting this,” he repeats. “I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to do next,” he admits, looking totally lost.

  “I’ll wait for you.”

  “I can’t ask you to do that.”

  “I’m not asking you to. I’m telling you it’s what I’ll do. This has been everything to me. You are everything to me. I’ll wait.”

  I watch as Jay chews everything over. I can see all his thoughts and concerns rolling around behind his eyes, and I sit quietly and allow him the time he needs.

  “Come on, let’s get moving. We still have time to figure this all out.”

  “When are you leaving for Germany?”

  “Tonight. Johnny’s picking me up in town later this afternoon.”

  “Okay,” I whisper, trying my best to keep my emotions locked down. It won’t do him any good, knowing how affected I am by all this. I don’t want him to leave, knowing I’m so upset. I’m going to have plenty of time once he’s gone to fall apart.

  It’s just before eleven when we walk out of our fancy suite hand in hand. The journey down to reception and then out to his car is a total blur. I want to cling on to every second but they seem to speed by too fast, and before I know it I’m sat in the passenger seat waiting for Jay to start the car for the trip home.

  The car roars to life before I hear a loud clunk.

  “Fuck.”

  “What?”

  “The clutch has just gone.”

  “What do you mean it’s gone?”

  “It mean it’s fucked,” he snaps.

  “Well, can’t we just get it fixed?” I’m not stupid enough to realise it will probably take longer to find a new clutch for his car than we have, but the words are already out of my mouth.

  He turns to me and is just about to snap at me again when his face softens. “Sorry, this isn’t your fault. Fuck, I need to get back. Shit.”

  “It’ll be okay. Can we get a train or something?” I grab my phone to start looking at other options.

  “Where are you meeting him?” I ask as the train pulls to a stop.

  What was meant to be a three hour drive has turned into an almost six hour journey. Jay is seriously agitated. I don’t think these kind of last minute issues sit right with his strictly planned army life. He’s had to put his friend off and I know he’s here in the city waiting on him. I can see Jay’s trying to keep himself in check for my benefit, and I appreciate it, but I wish he’d chill out a little.

  He grabs both of our bags and I try to keep up with him as he finds us a taxi and barks at the driver to head towards Cabot Circus.

  “I’m so sorry. This has totally ruined our time together.”

  “It’s fine, Jay. There’s not a lot we could’ve done about it. We’re almost there.”

  Jay pays the driver, and hand in hand we walk past the shops down Broadmead until he pulls me to a stop by the seating area in the centre of the walkway.

  “I need you know how much this all meant to me, Erin,” he says sincerely as he places his hand over my heart.

  “I know. Me too,” I say, trying desperately to keep my tears at bay.

  “But I need you to promise me something.”

  “Anything.”

  “If someone better comes along, I want you to go for it. Don’t put your life on hold for me.”

  “Don’t be crazy, I won’t—”

  “Promise me,” he repeats, a little harsher.

  “Okay, I promise,” I say, but I have no intention of following through on it because I know for a fact there won’t be anyone else.

  “But if in six months’ time you still want me, then I’ll be here, right here in this very spot, waiting for you.”

  I lose my battle and my tears fall. Jay reaches up and catches them with his thumbs.

  “I have something for you.” He drops his duffle bag on the floor and pulls something from the pocket. My breath catches when I see a little black box in his hand and my eyes widen in shock. “It’s not that kind,” he says with a sad laugh. “But it’s a promise. A promise that I’ll be here waiting for you no matter what you decide.”

  Jay grabs my shaking hand and slides the stunning vintage ring onto my finger. I choke back a sob as I study it. “It’s my birthstone,” I say,
looking at the opal sat in the centre.

  “BAX!” I hear shouted, but Jay doesn’t turn around or even acknowledge it.

  “Here,” he says, popping a piece of paper inside the ring box and handing it over. “I love you, Erin, and I’ll be back for you. I promise.”

  “I love you, too,” I stutter out as a guy I vaguely recognise steps up to us.

  “I’ve got to go.” He pulls me into a tight hug and we hold each other for a long time before he lets go and gives me the most incredible kiss. “I promise,” he repeats again before stepping back.

  It happens all of a sudden and I know it’s how we both need it to, but he grabs his bag, turns, and marches away. Johnny’s hot on his tail and the only thing I hear him say is, “Whoa, mate, it looks like you had fun.”

  I stand on that exact spot for the longest time after they’ve left. I feel lost. I don’t want to go home, I don’t want to go anywhere, not without him.

  I feel like half of me just left.

  I don’t notice the people walking around me or the sun starting to set and night descending. All I can focus on is the empty feeling in my chest that only seems to be getting worse the farther away I know he’s getting.

  I lift my hand with the box in and open it before pulling the piece of paper out.

  13/10/2012

  I promise x

  With that piece of paper gripped in my hand, I make my way home, towards an unsteady few months and one very long wait.

  Chapter Nine

  6 months later…

  I understand why Jay said he wouldn’t be in contact, that he wanted me to live my life, and if we were meant to be then we would be. But fuck, these last six months have been the hardest of my life.

  The shop is right on the cusp of going under, Mum’s health’s deteriorating by the day, but she still point blank refuses to give it up. I get that she’s chasing her dream, but there has to come a point where it’s just not worth it, and I’m pretty sure we’re there.

  I swipe a coat of gloss across my lips and as I put the cap back on, my ring catches my eye. I haven’t taken it off since the second he slid it on my finger six months ago.

  I try to keep my butterflies under control, but as the days have been counting down, they’ve been multiplying faster and faster. I’m excited as hell but I’m also nervous. What if it’s not like I remember? What if it was only meant to be those two weeks? All these questions fly around my mind as I step out the front door and look at Peggy sat on the drive.

  Two weeks after I got back, the last thing I was expecting was to find Dean stood at my doorstep with Peggy’s keys swinging from his fingers.

  “He told me to drop it off here.” Dean said, handing them over. “There’s this, too.”

  When I opened the envelope, there was a receipt inside for an intensive driving course, and a note telling me to look after his baby until he got back.

  I jump inside and start her up. She purrs just like she did when Jay drove her. I’ve made sure I’ve kept on top of all her maintenance and she’s perfectly clean, ready for his return. I have to admit, I’m going to be sad to see her go. Since setting up my website and getting my jewellery into more stores across the city, I’ve managed to get enough orders to have a little stash of money put away ready to buy myself a car of my own. Mum hated that I was no longer selling exclusively through her shop but I can’t go down with her. I need to think of my future, now more than ever.

  I’m a nervous wreck as I sit on one of the benches waiting for him. Town is packed, as there’s some kind of event going on. There were signs on every post on the drive here, but none of them held my attention. There are street entertainers on every corner, and people chatting, laughing, and joking as they go about their day. They have no idea the importance of who I’m waiting for as I sit here.

  I wait.

  And I wait.

  I look around through the hordes of people waiting for his face to appear, but it doesn’t.

  I check my phone. I have no idea why, because as he promised the night we met, we never swapped numbers.

  Maybe he’s delayed, so I wait a little longer.

  I sit there until the sun’s long set and the street’s practically empty, still holding on to a small shred of hope that he’s going to appear, while trying desperately hard not to think he changed his mind—or worse. Not one second of the past six months have I been able to forget that he left me to enter a war zone. No, I can’t think like that. He’s strong, nothing will have happened to him.

  He’s coming.

  I know he is.

  Something deep inside me tells me he’s fine; I have to trust my instinct.

  Eventually, I need to move. I’m stiff from sitting on the same bench practically all day, and I’m starving after having eaten through the snacks I brought with me hours ago. I stand up and stretch my back out before rubbing my hand over my ever-growing belly. He’s been kicking the whole time I’ve been sat here waiting for his daddy, but I can only wait for so long. In my last ditch attempt in case he’s really late, I pull a piece of paper from my note book and scribble out a message for him before tucking it into the bench. I have one last look around the dark street before I walk away.

  I’ve got to be strong, I tell myself. This isn’t just about me anymore. But the second I shut the car door—his car door—I break down and cry like I’ve never cried in my life.

  Epilogue

  Present…

  I take one last look in the mirror before opening the bathroom door to join Alex in the living room.

  “Did he go down okay?” Alex asks.

  Denny hasn’t been great at going to bed for the last few weeks and it usually takes me having to lie with him until he drifts off—that’s after his nightly story, of course.

  “Yeah, he was okay.”

  “E, what’s wrong?” he asks when he looks up at me.

  “Nothing, babe. I’m just tired.”

  Alex has always been able to tell when something’s wrong; he’s too perceptive. I knew I shouldn’t have gone and dug that scrapbook out, but something about talking about Jay with Denny tonight had me wanting to remember. I’ve never told Alex the whole story about Denny’s dad, just that I had a fling with a soldier, and I don’t intend on telling him the details now. What’s the point? Denny’s going to be five soon, and it’s not like he’s ever coming back.

  Most days, I’m okay, and I feel like I dealt with everything that happened after Jay didn’t come back, but others threaten to break me.

  I look up to the last photo I have of Mum and me on the mantelpiece. She has her hand on my pregnant belly and is smiling up at me. She died a couple of weeks later. The stress of it sent me into early labour. Denny was in hospital for weeks before he was strong enough to leave. Everything went to shit pretty quickly but Denny saved me. Every day, he saves me, and now we have Alex, and life is good.

  “Come and sit down, baby. You need to relax a little, you’re working too hard.”

  I fall down next to Alex and give him a kiss when he leans in.

  Life’s good. I’ve got a good boyfriend, a great business and an amazing son. My only problem?

  I’ll never forget him.

  Erin story continues in Never Forget Us, available now.

  Never Forget Us: Never Forget #2

  I thought I’d found my forever.

  I believed he’d come back to me and we’d have our happily ever after.

  He didn’t.

  Instead, he left me with a lifeline and a reason to keep going.

  I’ll never forget us, what we had, even if it was only for a short time.

  Never Forget Us is the conclusion of Tracy Lorraine’s steamy military duo, Never Forget.

  Find out more at www.tracylorraine.com/never-forget

  About the Author

  Tracy Lorraine is a M/F and M/M contemporary romance author. Tracy has just turned thirty and lives in a cute Cotswold village in England with her husband, baby girl and
lovable but slightly crazy dog. Having always been a bookaholic with her head stuck in her Kindle Tracy decided to try her hand at a story idea she dreamt up and hasn’t looked back since.

  Newsletter: https://www.tracylorraine.com/newsletter

  Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/tracylorraineauthor

  Twitter: https://twitter.com/Tracy_L_Author

  Bookbub: https://www.bookbub.com/profile/tracy-lorraine?list=author_books

  Website: http://www.tracylorraine.com

  The Flyboy’s Girl

  by

  Michelle Rene

  Synopsis:

  Family treasures and cherished memories both can be found in the corner of the attic tucked away in a box long forgotten.

  That’s where my daughters found an antique tin full of old photographs and keepsakes. With their curiosity piqued, they are desperate to find out the stories behind them.

  The only person I recognize in the photographs is the one person who lived through it.

  Let’s just hope she’s ready to tell us her story.

  Dedication

  For the ones who have stories to tell

  and those who want to hear them.

  Chapter 1

  Natalie – Present Day

  Sitting in the pick-up lane at school, a crisp fall breeze blows through the window as I watch an elderly man across the street rake the leaves in his yard. The ringing of the dismissal bell catches my attention as students begin pouring out the doors. Moments later, Alana comes into view, long blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail, purple backpack slung over her shoulder and a bright smile on her face that took me three years in braces to obtain, while hers is completely natural.