“Eyes off my tits you pervert,” Hannah laughed as his eyes dropped to her chest and flared. She had to clamp down on the prickle of awareness that bloomed. Clearing her throat and crossing her arms over her chest to hid her physical reaction to his perusal, she tried again. “Focus on my face, now your own, move down your body, your chest…”
“I hate my chest and thighs almost as much as my bloody missing leg,” he bit out. He’d received mild second-degree burns after helping a family escape from their burning home. When you added that to the lost limb, the bump on his nose where he’d broken it as a kid and the pitting in his thighs…
Yeah, he was most definitely no longer pretty.
“Just scars Adam, they shouldn’t bother you.”
“Really…” he scoffed.
“Yes, really. They are another medal, a testament to your bravery and survival. Now, stop with the pity-party for one minute, and just look in the god, damn, mirror.”
His eyes met hers again in the glass, just as the pain hit in another twisting wave of excruciating pain, strain in his missing limb as his calf and foot went into spasm. He desperately needed to move, to get up and make it stop, but couldn’t.
“Adam, focus on your chest, then slowly lower your eyes to your left leg, focus on your knee, then your calf, and finally your toes.”
“I can’t see anything with my jeans on,” he gritted out. His pant leg empty on one side as he’d slipped his prosthesis off and leaned it against the wall so he could lie flat on his front. The ankle had no movement on his temporary one, so it wasn’t comfortable to lie down on his front while wearing it.
“Bollocks,” Hannah mumbled, jumping down off the table and standing before him. “Okay, lift up,” she told him, hands on the waistband of his loose jeans as she went for the button and zipper.
“You’re trying to get me naked, now?” Adam ground out incredulously.
“Oh, get over yourself,” Hannah ground out, hands shaking as she tried to ignore the feel of his skin on the backs of her fingers. “Now lift up your arse. I need to remove them so you can see your leg.”
Jaw grinding, Adam lifted, leaning back, using his arms to brace himself. However, he had to close his eyes and suck in breath when Hannah’s knuckles grazed over his stiff cock which was presently straining against his boxers as she pulled down his zipper.
Fuck.
Sex should be the last thing on his mind, but it seemed not. Especially as Hannah now knelt before him as she pulled the material down his legs – or at least one of them.
Adam squeezed his eyes tightly shut and thought about anything but the sight of her knelt before him, her face in line with his cock. Not that he had to think for long because just knowing she could now see the pitting in his thighs and his missing limb cooled his ardour as nothing else could have.
“Okay?” Hannah asked, clearing her throat and trying to ignore all the toned skin on show. She averted her gaze from his groin and stood, jeans in hand before jumping back up beside him on the massage table. She placed his jeans behind her giving herself a minute to recover her composure - allowing her blush to fade before she once again returned her attention to the mirror. “Okay, now look at your right leg, the leg that is hurting.”
“It’s not there, that’s the problem. If I still had it, I’d be able to walk this off…”
“Shut up,” she cut him off. “Now look in the mirror. Your knee, can you see your knee?”
Again, he nodded.
“Good, now move your eyes downwards, where’s your calf, ankle and foot? Where are they, Adam?”
“Fucking missing, obviously,” he spat resentfully.
“No shit. Now look, look at where your leg is missing and concentrate. You said the leg is hurting, but how can it hurt you when it’s no longer there?”
Frowning, Adam stared at his reflections in the mirror. Staring at his knee on his right leg, his eyes moved downwards, chest tightening for a minute at the evidence of his lost limb. His eyes then moved to his left leg, taking in the calf, ankle and foot, and frowned. Then, looking again, his eyes moved from one leg to the other, and after a minute or two of this, the weirdest thing happened…
The pain began to subside.
He looked again.
Really looked, paying attention to each part, absorbing the visual evidence before him that his leg was no longer there.
Then, to his utter disbelief, the pain began easing.
“What the fuck…” he sputtered, blinking as he slowly turned his head to Hannah, awe in his pale-blue gaze.
“How did you… What…” he couldn’t form a sentence, stunned at what he was feeling.
“Has it gone?” Hannah asked, uncertainly, biting her lip.
“Yeah… well, no. Not exactly, but it’s most definitely easing. How?”
“I’ve been doing a bit of research. New findings state that if you can get the person dealing with phantom limb pain to see that the limb in question is no longer there, it helps to reboot the brain – so to speak. The pain you feel isn’t real, but your mind doesn’t know that. By showing you that you no longer have the limb or area causing the issue, it slowly begins to accept it. Then, hopefully, the phantom pain vanishes. It’s not a quick fix, but they state that if you do the exercise regularly, it will eventually no longer bother you.”
Chapter 12
Hannah shrugged, uncomfortable with the way Adam continued to stare at her.
After a minute or two of uncomfortable silence, she spoke again.
“It’s not exactly how it’s done, but it was the only way I could think of doing it to help you. I’ll give you all the information I have on mirror therapy so you can do the exercises at home. You know, as you’re refusing the help being offered to you in rehab,” she glared.
Adam held Hannah’s gaze, then leaning sideways, gently brushed his lips over hers.
He’d only meant to give her a quick, chaste kiss. Just a token of thanks, but feeling her breath wash over his own lips from her soft exhale changed it all. Hannah gasped, her lashes lowering as her soft lips clung to his own, and groaning, Adam deepened the kiss. His mouth moving over hers, ravenous, but unable to get close enough from their present position. Shifting around, he raised a hand, cupping her jaw and angling her head where he needed it. Thrusting his tongue between her lips, he deepened the kiss, his thumb stroking the skin beside her mouth, losing himself in her taste and texture.
He was lost.
As Hannah moved restlessly against him, and her taste began to suffuse his system, the shadows that had been prowling around his confused mind began to dissipate. Once gone, the memories they’d covered began bombarding his mind, and breaking the kiss, Adam rested his forehead against Hannah’s as he sucked in a breath.
Anguish tore through him at all he’d forgotten.
Hannah lay with him, head pillowed on his chest as her index finger traced over the scarring on the left side of his chest.
Laughter, whispers of love and forever followed by moans as they made love for hours in the hotel room she’d rented when she’d come to visit.
“We’ve been here before,” he whispered against her lips.
Nodding, Hannah pulled back and Adam’s hand dropped from her jaw. She jumped off the massage table and as he watched, she began to wander around the room, anxiety and fear eating her up.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I thought you’d just decided that it didn’t matter… that I didn’t matter. I thought you’d changed your mind.”
“Jesus, Hannah, I told you that I loved you…” Adam exploded.
“I thought it was just a line,” she shrugged unable to meet his hurt gaze.
“No. Fuck, not with anyone, but never with you. Not you, Hannah. I thought you knew me better than that.”
“I thought I did too, but you didn’t come back to my hotel room like you said you would. I didn’t want to ring and sound needy, so I went home, angry. I kept in touch with you while
you were on tour, but in your responses, you didn’t mention anything. Then, when you didn’t come to me when you finally returned from tour…” she went quiet, swallowing the lump of emotion in her throat. “I had to try to figure out what was happening, which is why I came to the base before you flew out. Even though I thought you didn’t want me, I couldn’t let you go without…” she broke off, swallowing again, her eyes sheened with unshed tears.
“I didn’t remember,” he groaned in true anguish.
“What do you mean?”
“I hit my head.”
“How, when?”
“After I left you. I was distracted, wondering how to approach Phil…” he shrugged, staring at the ceiling thinking back to that morning now he could.
“I was leading exercises and ahead of the others. I scrambled up the wall, but somehow, when I reached the top, I overbalanced. I think my kit slipped, and it ended up dragging me straight over the top head first. I knocked myself out.”
“What did the doctor say?”
“I never went to the doctor,” he admitted with a wince. “I felt stupid about falling, and although I felt a little nauseous, I managed to carry on. I didn’t realise I was missing anything major,” he shook his head. “God, Hannah, I’m so sorry,” he groaned.
“It doesn’t matter, it is what it is,” she shrugged, a tight smile on her face.
“Of course it matters, it’s drove me batty. I began to think I was losing my goddamn mind. I’d get flashes and images that I couldn’t figure out,” he began to chuckle.
“What’s funny?” she stiffened, frowning at him.
“I should have known…” he shook his head.
“Should have known what, Adam, you’re not making sense?”
“When I was hit, Nomad was giving me shit about not taking some random woman up on her offer to f…” He broke off and winced at what he’d nearly said, running a hand around the back of his neck in discomfort.
“I can guess,” Hannah told him dryly. “Hang on, you didn’t?”
“No, I didn’t. Somewhere, somehow I must have known,” he admitted.
“It’s okay Adam,” she told him her arms wrapping around herself. “I know you’re Phil’s friend and that it makes this awkward for you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Us, I know it couldn’t work.”
“Why?”
“Phil.”
“What about Phil?”
“You said you were distracted during exercise. You fell as you tried to figure out how to talk to Phil.”
“Yes, but not with worry over us. I was trying to figure out the proper way to approach him, to ask if I could marry you. Jesus, Hannah, I told you that I loved you and I meant it. Have you any idea how frustrating it was getting little wisps of memory, but not knowing if it was real or not. I thought I was losing my mind. I stayed away when I came home last time as I was so god damn desperate to see you that it made me nervous. I felt like some kind of skeevy bastard after the things I had dreamed of doing to you. Jesus, I was worried that if I did see you, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from turning my dreams into reality. That’s why I stayed away,” he laughed mockingly. “I didn’t realise that we’d already been together and more, and that there was a real reason for why I was so desperate to see you. That… Fuck, this is a mess.”
“It’s okay…”
“No, it’s not, it will never be okay. I lost so much more than my fucking leg, I lost you too,” he spat bitterly.
“What do you mean?”
“You said you were seeing someone and that you weren’t going to tell me as I’d tell Phil.”
“Of course I was seeing someone…”
“Fuck,” he groaned again, head dropping forward as he sat there, shoulders collapsing in on himself as he rubbed his hands over his face.
Hannah stood across the room from where Adam sat so dejectedly on her massage table. He seemed devastated and hurt, but she couldn’t figure out why… then realisation dawned.
Slowly, she took a hesitant step towards him, then another. Once within reach, she tentatively touched his left arm until he dropped his hands and looked at her.
“Adam, it’s you who I was seeing. That’s why I couldn’t tell you, I didn’t think you cared and I didn’t want to look foolish. It’s always been you. You’re the only man I’ve ever loved,” she admitted. His pale blue orbs practically glowed now as he gazed at her.
“Say it again?”
“What, that it’s always been you?”
“I like that bit, but no, I want to hear you say you love me.”
“I love you, I’ve always loved you.”
Adam’s hands shot out and grabbed her, pulling her into the cradle between his spread thighs as he wrapped his arms around her. Holding her securely against him, he squeezed her and closed his eyes, breathing her in and feeling his chest ease.
“I’m not letting go this time, Hannah. I may not have remembered what happened between us, but you were always with me. You are what kept me going, thoughts of you were with me wherever I went. You were also the last thing I thought of before I lost consciousness when I was hit. I hated that I wasn’t going to be able to keep my promise to you to come back.”
“You kept it, just a little late,” she mumbled against his shoulder.
Adam held Hannah, his arms running up and down her back as he just soaked in the feel of her against him.
“Marry me?” he took hold of her arms and held her out so he could see her eyes. She swallowed, green eyes shiny as she nodded. “You’re sure? It won’t be a walk in the park. I still have some way to go with rehab and I think I may need some help in other areas, the flashbacks and such. Damn, I’m also unemployed, so I guess I’m not much of a cat…”
Hannah silenced his words with her lips, kissing him until neither of them could breathe.
“I’ll take you any way I can get you,” she told him breathlessly once they broke apart.
“You will,” he beamed. “I think we need to celebrate, I need to feel you close to me. How about we give this table a test drive?”
“My sofa next door pulls out into a bed, more room and less time than climbing the stairs to my bedroom,” she told him with a smile.
“Pass me my leg and clothes, and lead the way,” Adam groaned.
Chapter 13
Hannah placed Adam’s jeans and jumper on the floor beside the sofa as she unfolded the bed from the frame. She could feel his nearly naked body at her back, the heat pouring off him. She bit her lip, uncertainty and nerves getting the better of her as she straightened but didn’t move.
“What’s wrong, changed your mind?” Adam asked as she straightened up, her back still to him. He placed his hands on her shoulder, brushing her hair to the side as he placed butterfly kisses over the side of her neck. Groaning, Hannah’s head fell backwards resting on his chest as his arms slid around her waist.
“No, it’s just that…”
“I didn’t come back the last time we were together,” he finished for her and she sighed, nodding. “I promise, I will never forget again. I’ll have your name tattooed on my chest so that it’s on my skin as a permanent reminder.”
“I know I’m being silly.”
“Hey, no, it’s fine. How about I just hold you for a while,” he told her, resting his chin on the top of her head, his fingers entwining at her front as he rocked her.
At his words, Hannah placed her hands over his.
“Thank you.”
“For?”
“Being understanding, but Adam?”
“Yes.”
“I need this too.”
“Thank god,” he growled, tightening his arms on her stomach as his mouth once again began kissing the length of her neck.
Hannah chuckled at the relief she heard in his voice, but it turned into a groan as he sucked the sensitive skin above her collarbone while rubbing himself against her backside.
Stepping back, Adam
took hold of the bottom of Hannah’s jumper, and pulled it up her torso and over her head, dropping it on the floor. His fingers left a trail of fire as they stroked over her exposed skin, his mouth again on her shoulder as he unclipped her bra and slid the straps down her arms. He then turned her around to face him, his eyes dropping and finding she’d crossed her arms over her breasts. Eyebrow cocked, he waited until she dropped them.
“Now this, this I remembered,” he told her, a finger lifting and tracing over the strawberry birthmark by the side of her left nipple. Lowering his head, he ran his tongue around it before flicking her tight nipple with his tongue then sucking the sensitive tip into his mouth. Hannah moaned, her hands lifting, running through his caramel hair, now long enough to fist. “I also remembered the sounds you make,” he whispered against her breast, stroking over her with his tongue. Transferring his attention to her right breasts, he again suckled this side while his hand was busy kneading the plump flesh surrounding his mouth.
“I’d love to be able to lift you up and carry you. However, unfortunately, I don’t think this leg’s up to that,” he admitted, after releasing her nipple with a pop, his hands still moulding and stroking the fleshy globes.
“So lie down,” Hannah replied as her green eyes, now darkened with heat, rose to meet his.
Grinning, Adam’s hands trailed from her waist to the waistband of her jeans, unclipping and unfastening them.
“You’re overdressed,” he told her, pushing them over her hips and waiting while she stepped out of them. He then stood there, eyes roaming over her body, reacquainting himself with every dip and curve. “I didn’t forget a damn thing about how you look,” he told her, hands going to her hips and holding her to him. “In my dreams I remembered every sigh, dip and hollow of your body,” he groaned, fingers now kneading the soft skin of her arse, moulding and squeezing the cheeks in his palms.
Hannah dropped onto the bed behind her and Adam followed her down, then growled in frustration.
“What?”
Help Our Heroes: A Military Charity Anthology Page 79