by Nan Dixon
“Undercover. You needed to stay close to Issy.” Her words were flat, nothing like the energy that had filled her voice when they’d made love. She must really be hurting.
“Since I was down with my granddad, it made sense.” He touched her shoulder. “Are you really all right?”
Her eyes fluttered shut. “Fine.”
“Can you tell me what Heather Bole said to you?”
She took a deep, shuddering breath. “She insisted that Issy, but she called her Bella, come with her.”
“That’s it? Did she say anything else?” It was too much to expect that Heather had blurted out where she was staying. “Tell me everything you can remember.”
Courtney inhaled, grimacing as she did. Then she walked him through her brief encounter with Heather Bole. It didn’t take long.
She asked, “Are Issy and Josh safe?”
“Yes. Because of you.” He hadn’t been able to keep Courtney safe. “You’re a hero.”
She rolled her eyes. Then her face crumpled.
He hurt along with her.
“How are the kids?” she asked.
“They were with Nathan and Cheryl when I left for the hospital.”
“Why does the FBI want Issy’s mother?”
“Murder. Running drugs.”
“And you couldn’t tell me you worked for the FBI?” She closed her eyes, dismissing him.
“When I got the alert that Bole was on the property, I was on the phone with my superior. Getting approval to tell you.” It sounded weak.
“How convenient.” Courtney didn’t even open her eyes.
“I’m so, so sorry.” He took her hand but she tugged it away. It was like a bullet to his chest.
“Why are you sorry?” Her gaze zeroed in on his.
“I was there to catch Bole and keep Issy safe.”
“Did you catch her?”
“No.” Agony filled the one word. “And you were hurt.”
He’d failed. Courtney was injured. When he’d left the B and B, Issy had still been whimpering.
His phone buzzed. Roger. “I have to take this.”
He backed out of the room. Gray scowled at him from whatever phone conversation he was having. Without a word, Gray headed back into Courtney’s room. “Mom and Dad are in the air.”
Kaden let his phone ring. He waited outside the open door, eavesdropping.
“I don’t want them here.” Was Courtney crying?
“There’s no way you could keep them away.”
“I don’t want them to see me like this.”
Kaden finally answered his phone. “Yes?”
“I got your message. What went wrong?” Roger asked.
“When I was on the phone with you, I got an alert that Bole was at the B and B. By the time I got to where she was, she’d run.” And because Courtney was hurt, he hadn’t given chase. There had been too much blood. He hadn’t been able to leave her.
“I thought you were sticking close to the nanny and the kids?” Roger’s voice was an angry growl over the phone.
“I am.” He sagged against the wall. “But I can’t Velcro myself to them.”
“You blew our best shot at catching her.”
“Bole hurt Courtney.”
“Who? The nanny?”
“Yes. She should have known about the threat earlier.” If Courtney had been better prepared, she might not be lying in a hospital bed.
“I thought we’d agreed you could tell her.”
“Not soon enough. Courtney was injured before I could talk to her.” Finally telling her the truth should have eased the weight on his shoulders, but it hadn’t.
“Does Heather know you’re a Fed?”
He replayed the few words he’d yelled. “No.”
“Maybe she’ll be back.” Roger tapped away on his desk. “We’ll keep you there for another week or two.”
Another two weeks?
Courtney being hurt was unforgivable. And it was his fault.
“You need to replace me,” Kaden said. “I failed.”
* * *
KADEN WORKED FOR the FBI. He’d lied. To her.
Courtney longed to curl into a ball, but her face and head hurt if she moved. She closed her eyes, blocking out everything, including her brother and the knowledge that Kaden was right outside her room talking. About her.
Kaden had just said he’d been sticking close to her just to get to Issy’s mother. Was he making sure she could hear that she’d meant nothing to him? She’d been part of his job.
Nausea rolled through her stomach.
Velcro. He’d complained he couldn’t Velcro himself to her and the kids. She’d trusted him, trusted that he’d seen through her facade.
She hurt. And it wasn’t just her face and head and body. Whatever she and Kaden had shared had been a lie. Tears burned her eyes. He’d only been with her to stay close to Issy.
Had he slept with her because of his job?
Kaden’s voice droned. Was he giving her a score for her performance in bed to his FBI cronies? This was worse than just being a pretty ornament. He’d used her. He’d betrayed her.
She didn’t have the energy to wipe the tear that sneaked down her cheek.
“Are you okay?” Worry filled Gray’s voice.
“Fine.” But her voice cracked. Everything cracked.
“Ahh, honey. Your face will be perfect. Don’t worry. I checked out the surgeon. He’s one of the best in the state.”
Tears flooded down her face. Her brother thought that’s what she was worried about?
Gray rubbed her shoulder. “Do you need something for the pain? I could check with the nurse.”
“I’m f...”
He touched her shoulder. “I know you’re fine. Let me check whether they can give you something so you stay fine.”
Gray headed out the door. The solitude was a relief.
She closed her eyes and sank under the weight of Kaden’s betrayal. She’d been so stupid. Footsteps echoed in the room and a hint of Kaden’s piney scent wrapped around her. Even though the light drilled holes behind her eyes, she couldn’t keep from staring at the doorway.
Kaden. Her heart throbbed at the sight of him.
“I’m so sorry.” Kaden brushed a kiss on her forehead, and another flood of tears threatened to fall. “Don’t cry. It kills me to see you cry.”
She needed to be strong. “You don’t have to pretend anymore. I heard your conversation. You were just hanging around me to stay close to Issy.”
The chair squealed on the linoleum as he pulled it closer to the bed. “Courtney...”
“No.” She had to keep going. Had to regain control, something she’d given up the moment she’d kissed him.
Her hands shook, so she clenched them into fists. “You don’t have to pretend. Your secret is out. I understand. No more lies. I was suspicious about why you’d been...friendlier after I started to take care of the kids. Now I know.”
“That’s not true.” He tried to take her hand and she tucked it under the sheet. “I never wanted to deceive you.”
“Good news—you can stop now.” She tried to smile, but pain blasted through her face. “No more having to sleep with the nanny to stay close to the kids.”
“That’s not what happened.” He squeezed her knee.
She shook her head. “We’re done.”
“What?” He frowned. “No.”
“Last night won’t happen again.” She forced the words through the wall of pain in her chest.
He clutched her arm. “Don’t do this.”
Don’t do this? He’d lied to her. Had anything been real? “Tell me the truth.”
“Yes,” he answered. “If I can.”
> “Did you start flirting with me because I was taking care of Issy?” Even the question ripped into her like broken glass, shredding apart her heart. “The truth.”
“Maybe. At first, but...” He couldn’t finish his sentence. “Courtney.”
“The times you ran into us going to the library or Bess’s greenhouse or into the squares? They weren’t a coincidence, were they?”
He swallowed. “No.”
“How?”
He didn’t answer for a moment, then choked out, “I installed a camera system throughout the B and B. It alerted me wherever you went.”
“You spied on me?”
“I... It’s not like it sounds. We hoped Bole would come for her daughter.”
“But you kept track of me?” She shivered.
“I kept an eye out for Bole...and you and Issy.”
Each answer hurt more than the wounds Heather had caused. “It’s why you took us fishing.”
“Yes.” He exhaled. “I couldn’t have you run into Heather on your own.”
She stared at him. “But I did.”
“I’m so sorry.” His forehead was a mass of wrinkles. His voice was deep and gravelly. “I’ve asked my superior to replace me.”
Replace him. His words had edges as sharp as Abby’s knives. That’s what she wanted, right? Kaden gone.
“I’m not sleeping with a new agent,” she whispered.
“Don’t,” he gasped. “It wasn’t like that.”
Oh, God, it hurt. Everything had been because of this Heather Bole. Kaden had used her. Used Issy. “Please leave.”
“Courtney. Everything changed. You mean something to me.” He scooted the chair closer and clutched her hand through the sheet. “Give me a chance.”
“You used me.” Each word boomed in her head, banging like hammer strikes. She wasn’t worth loving. He’d said all the right things, but nothing had been real.
He jerked back. “I had to. I’m trying to capture someone who doesn’t deserve to be free. Doesn’t deserve to have a child in her...” He trailed off.
“You can justify all you want. You used me.”
“It was for a good cause.”
She couldn’t do this anymore. She wanted to mean more to Kaden than his job. Apparently that wasn’t going to happen. “Leave.”
He stood. “I only wanted to get Bole off the street.”
“Well, you failed.” Even though she knew it would hurt, she rolled over and closed her eyes.
The door creaked. Tears slid down her sore cheek, adding salt to the wound. He’d done what she’d asked. He’d left her. She could only hope now that his cover was blown, he would leave Fitzgerald House. After today, she deserved some good luck.
Gray returned. So did the nurse. Apparently the surgeon was doing something important, like reconstructing a face from an accident. Her little cut didn’t matter.
She lost track of time, drifting in and out of the twilight of sleep. Sometimes Gray was sitting next to the bed, sometimes he was gone.
“Where is she? Gray, where’s Courtney?” Mother said from outside the partially open door.
Why had Gray called the parental units? She’d been a burden to them in Boston. They didn’t seem to miss her now. Why would they come to Savannah?
She kept her eyes closed, wanting to disappear. But footsteps rushed into the room and stopped by the bed.
“Oh, Courtney.” Her mother grabbed her hand, jarring her body.
She couldn’t hold back her whimper.
“I’m sorry.” Mother patted her hand. “Your face. Look at your face.”
Courtney hadn’t looked. Based on her mother’s distress, she might never look again. Guess she wasn’t going to be a pretty little ornament anymore. Panic tried to bubble up in her chest, but between the pain and Kaden’s betrayal, being pretty didn’t matter anymore.
“I’ve talked to the best plastic surgeon in Boston.” Her father pushed his way next to her bedside. “We’ll arrange an ambulance to get her to the airport. The doctor will repair her face as soon as we land in Boston.”
“What?” Courtney cried.
“We’re taking you home.” Father’s eyes narrowed as he looked at the bandages covering her forehead and cheek. “Gray says it’s bad. We’ll want to minimize the scarring.”
Couldn’t let your ornament tarnish, right? “Gray’s already contacted a surgeon. We’re waiting for him to complete a surgery.”
“You’ve been here for hours. And this is your face. Your beautiful face.” Father touched her hand. “I’m bringing you home.”
This was exactly what she’d wanted. Her father wanted her to come home. She should feel...elated.
But the thought of going home, of being the person she’d been back in Boston, wasn’t what she wanted anymore. She didn’t belong. She wasn’t sure where she belonged.
Who would run her day care? She’d done all the work. She’d made all the plans. This was her responsibility. “I’m not leaving Savannah.”
Father frowned. “You’ve been begging your mother to let you come home. Here’s your chance.”
She scrambled for reasons not to do this. “But—but I drove here.”
He waved away her objection. “I’ll hire someone to drive your car home.”
“I can’t leave the children.”
“Babysitters are a dime a dozen.”
Everything in her body stilled. She gritted her teeth. Mistake. Pain pummeled her head. “I’m opening a day care. I can’t leave.”
“You will leave,” her father insisted. “Being a babysitter isn’t rocket science.”
“It may not be. But it’s important.” She kept her voice low and said, “No.”
Gray moved to the head of the bed. Whose side would he take? Would he want to get rid of her so bad that he’d kick her out of his home?
If he did, she’d find an apartment.
“People are relying on Courtney,” Gray said.
Courtney nodded and paid for the action with a wave of pain. Tears filled her eyes.
“She’s not safe here,” Mother said. “What if this awful woman comes back?”
Gray touched Courtney’s shoulder. “I’ll make sure she’s safe.”
“I know about the danger now,” she said. “I won’t be vulnerable again.”
“But your face.” Tears streaked Mother’s mascara. “We have to make sure there’s no scar.”
Mother never lost her composure. If the apocalypse occurred, she’d keep her small island of sanity through sheer will. A possible facial scar was what it took to make her mother fall apart?
Everyone talked about Courtney like she didn’t have a say in what was going to happen. Apparently a scar on her face was the last straw. “I’m not leaving Savannah.”
Her father started to open his mouth, but Gray interrupted, “Father, why don’t you meet the surgeon?”
Her parents lapsed into silence. Courtney closed her eyes. If her face scarred and she no longer had her looks, what else did she have? No wonder her parents were freaking out. She was nothing without her beauty.
But she wasn’t leaving Savannah.
* * *
KADEN STARED AT Courtney’s hospital room door. He wasn’t welcome across the threshold, but he couldn’t leave. He had to apologize—one more time.
Courtney thought he’d only been with her because of Heather. Everything she’d accused him of had been true. He hadn’t wanted to be close to her until she started taking care of the kids. He’d joined their outings so they didn’t run into Heather when they were alone.
He paced. Staying close to Courtney and Issy had been by design. Sleeping with her had not. He’d slept with her because he couldn’t stay away. He wanted to be as close t
o her as he could be.
She’d pushed him away because he couldn’t lie. He didn’t deserve her forgiveness. He’d been responsible. He’d failed to keep her safe.
Gray walked out of the room.
“How is she?” Kaden asked.
“Fighting with my parents. They want to take her back to Boston.”
Boston. That’s all she’d wanted. “When do they leave?”
“She said no. She has a responsibility to the kids.” Gray went to the elevator and jammed his finger on the button.
Kaden followed. “So she’s staying?” Hope infused his voice.
“That’s what she says. Father and Mother are still arguing, but Courtney just pretends to sleep.” Gray pushed on his temples. “Maybe she’d be better off going home. Maybe Boston is safer.”
But Kaden lived in Georgia. Not that that would matter to Courtney. She’d booted him from her life. If she moved back to Boston, he wouldn’t get the chance to convince her he hadn’t been using her.
“As long as you’re hanging around, can you help carry coffee?” Gray asked.
“Sure.” Kaden followed Gray to the cafeteria and helped him pick up coffee and tea and carry it to Courtney’s room. Hopefully she wouldn’t kick him out if he was carrying hot liquids.
When they entered her room, Courtney’s eyes were closed. Her parents stared at her from opposite sides of the bed.
“Here you go, brat.” Gray nudged her foot. When she opened her eyes, he handed her a cup of tea.
She was too alert to have actually been sleeping. She glared at Kaden while dipping her tea bag up and down in the hot water.
“Mother.” Gray pointed at the coffee Kaden held and he handed the cup to her.
“This is Kaden Farrell,” Gray said. “Our parents, Olivia and Wallace Smythe.”
“Sorry to meet under these circumstances,” Kaden said.
“He’s FBI.” Courtney sniffed. “Are you here to interrogate me again?”
“Interrogate?” her mother exclaimed.
“No.” He stared into Courtney’s pain-racked eyes. “I’m worried about you.”
“Right.” She harrumphed. “You’re worried about the innocent bystander getting hit?” She pointed at her bandages. “Been there, done that. Maybe I’ll print up T-shirts.”