by Angie Dicken
Ben continued whittling, his motions getting harder and faster. “I don’t get you. You had all this land, but you gave it up. What’s in it for you, Cort?”
“I get to work and breathe and live.”
“I don’t think that’s it.” Gray dusk dulled his brown eyes. They just stared at each other.
Cort’s spine crawled. “You don’t?”
“Nope. See, I did the same thing as you. Just got caught.” Ben continued whittling. “I won Aubrey’s trust. She had it all set up for me to stick by Pa while she ran away. If only she knew that she’d given me the idea to find land of my own.”
Aubrey admitted that she didn’t trust her brother anymore. Whatever trust he’d earned was gone. “How is that like me at all?”
“She trusts you, Cort. What are you planning on doing with that? I mean, you gave up the land, won her trust. Now what?”
“Nothing. I am doing what I set out to do. Work the land and live a peaceful life,” he declared, releasing a long breath. Admitting that out loud brought him closer to peace. He didn’t have an ulterior motive. He was trying to live the rest of his life by the Good Book.
“There has to be a reason that you gave up the land,” Ben persisted.
“Maybe there is. But that’s my business,” Cort muttered. The peace was escaping him, just as the steam rose from the kettle.
“I’ve learned a thing or two about secrets, Cort. They’ll eat at you until you finally tell,” Ben said, his mouth hooked in a sneer. “I’ve got a whole slew of them that Aubrey don’t know about. Kills me slowly inside. Wonder if yours will, too.”
“Maybe. But they won’t hurt anyone else, and that’s important.” At least, he was trying to make that so. Giving Aubrey the chance to deepen her connections out here was a start. But could he protect her from Ben? “Will yours?”
Ben gave a bitter laugh. “They’d make my mama roll over in her grave.”
Cort winced. “I don’t think your sister needs to know about those.” The cry of the kettle pierced a quiet interlude. Tension seemed to rise as quickly as the kettle spouted.
Ben focused on his knife. Apparently he was lost in thought. His brow rose and fell as if he were arguing with himself. At one point, a groan slipped out. “Have you ever wronged someone and they didn’t even know?”
“Maybe. But I try to stick to admitting my mistakes now,” Cort said.
“I can’t ever admit it. I—I...don’t want Aubrey to know I am just a petty thief.”
“Thief?” Cort bristled.
Ben nodded and continued on his wooden piece without looking up. “What’s that saying—once a thief, always a thief?”
Cort set the kettle down and sat back down. All he could think about was Ben’s ride today, and how he lost sight of him over the horizon. Was this self-proclaimed thief up to something more than healing his leg?
Cort tried to dig up some grace. He’d been given a prairie-full of it, but his defenses were up. He tried to push aside assumptions, but he knew better. His whole family line could take that title of “thief,” and when the opportunity arose, temptation overpowered a weak-willed offender. Cort had always felt it was wrong deep down, and until he was up in Wyoming, he’d ignored his conscience.
Now this man was confessing and all Cort could do was clench his fists and get ready to fight for justice. There’d be no wrongdoing around here. First, he wouldn’t allow any hurt to come Aubrey’s way if he could stop it, and second, law-breaking meant attention from the law. They didn’t need any audience of the sort around here. He didn’t need it.
“Have you stolen something here, Ben?” His words rolled low and deep. He demanded a straight answer.
Ben widened his eyes. “Oh, no.” He frowned. “There are things I stole from Mama.” His Adam’s apple bobbed with a hard swallow.
“Have you stolen anything from Aubrey?”
He shook his head. “No. I only did it for Pa. He put me up to it.”
“It’s a dangerous life to live, Ben.” He stood, grinding his boot heels into the earth. “Believe me. I’ve seen men throw their whole lives away with such dishonest living. You’ll be wise to stay clean from now on.”
He stomped toward his house in need of some more supplies but mostly wanting to sort out the uneasiness brought about by their conversation. Cort prayed that God would protect them. He then prayed that God would protect his nephew. Was Charles leading his own son astray just as Mr. Huxley had coaxed Ben? He hoped that Charles was good on his promise to put all that evildoing behind him.
That was all Cort had asked when he’d sacrificed his future for his family.
* * *
By the time Sunday rolled around, Aubrey and Ben had slept in her home for two nights. Or at least, Ben had. Aubrey hardly slept more than a couple of hours at a time. She had three more dresses to complete, and her money was gone. She desperately needed to deliver these dresses and collect payment.
After church, she took a small nap then joined Ben and Cort outside.
“Where’d you get that skillet?” She yawned into her linen sleeve. A cool breeze balanced out the ever-shining sun.
“Borrowed it from Mrs. Hicks.” Cort was preparing supper on a makeshift workbench constructed of a board and some crates. “Did you get some rest?”
“Hardly.” Even when she tried, her body was tense and she couldn’t sleep for long. There was too much to think about. Sure, her house was somewhat finished—more like a shell than a home yet—but she was dragging her thread and needle to get these dresses complete. She wanted them to be just as pristine as her mama had taught her. Aubrey really did pour her heart into her work. Yet the only one pouring anything into Mama’s ranch was Cort. The more she glimpsed his progress on the fence, the more anxious she became to work the land instead of the fabrics. Although, if she dreamed at all, silks, linens and taffeta were what piqued her fancy. Not a single horse could be found in any of her thoughts unless she was atop hers to go use Caldwell’s supplies.
She did what she could to help Cort prepare the meal. He put her in charge of chopping up potatoes and onions. They worked side by side until she couldn’t take the burning in her eyes anymore.
“Those are some of the strongest onions I’ve ever cut.” She wiped her eyes with her apron, careful to avoid the onion juice from her fingers.
“They are.” He wiped his eyes on his sleeve. “They’ll taste good tossed in some butter from the Pattersons. Offered some shoeing in exchange for cured meats, cheese and fresh butter.” He tapped a crock that sat on the bench.
“You must have shoed all day for such a fine meal as this.” Aubrey sniffled, feeling like she’d just had a good cry.
Cort shrugged his shoulders, keeping his attention on preparing a cornmeal mixture. “Eating with friends is worth it, don’t you think?”
She thought back on all the meals they’d shared together. “That’s something I didn’t realize until a month or so ago.”
“It’s been a good month of eating and talking, hasn’t it?” Cort captured her with his emerald stare.
She gave his forearm a squeeze. “Thank you, Cort.” Aubrey could say that without fear of him taking advantage of her situation. He was a man she could trust.
His chest heaved upward. He studied her face, her lips. Turmoil grew deep and wide in her belly. It warned her that sweet kisses and strong embraces would only tie her to a passing-through kind of cowboy more than she should allow.
“I need to check on Ben.” She slipped aside and hurried around the house.
Lord, give me strength.
In her mind, she should be satisfied in her friendship with this cowboy. In her heart, she wrestled with hoping for more than just the here and now with him. And in her body, exhaustion warred over her thoughts and her strength to be wise and indepen
dent. Weakness would be her demise. Just like her mother. She was weak-willed when it came to Pa’s ways. Maybe because he’d finally exhausted her with disappointment? Aubrey needed to be strong. Even if every part of her screamed otherwise.
She settled in the shade next to Ben, who was now starting a new piece of wood. His coyote figure sat in her window.
“Going to tidy up the place soon,” she said, more to get out of her head for a while. “Just going to rest awhile.”
“Okay, sis. Do what you’ve got to do.” He continued whittling, not offering his help at all.
Aubrey rolled her eyes. “Just a few moments and I’ll set out some blankets for everyone to sit on. One day, maybe you could whittle me a table?” she jested.
“That would be quite a feat. I’ll just send one down on the train from Kansas.”
“I’ll be waiting.” She grinned.
Her brother and the handsome cowboy had not been part of her vision in Camp Kiowa. What would life be like without either of these men on her ranch?
Before she could stick to her plan, the Jessups arrived in their wagon. Mr. Jessup hopped down along with all the girls and gingerly escorted his wife across the prairie.
“Sarah, you look more exhausted than I am.” Aubrey rushed up to her. Sarah’s cheeks were flushed, and the lines around her eyes probably matched Aubrey’s own dark circles.
“It’s close now, dear.” She patted Aubrey’s hand as they made their way to the clearing where they’d dine. “Dave? Can you bring out the chair for me? I need to sit.”
Her husband ran around to the back of the wagon and brought out a small chair. He placed it under the shade. Ben was now over by the fire, leaning on his crutch while he watched Cort cook. The four Jessup girls were attracted to the fire like flies to honey. Little Addie tried propping her doll up on the ground to admire the flames.
“Be careful you don’t get too close,” Aubrey warned as she walked by. “I am going to get a blanket so you have a more comfortable place for your dolly.”
The little girl beamed.
Once the Hickses arrived, everyone settled beneath the shade and Mr. Hicks led them in a short prayer. They all filled their plates and began to eat. Aubrey relished the constant conversation. This was more intimate than the chuck wagon dinner, more like a family gathering that she’d only witnessed from a distance back in Kansas.
“Cort, you’ve done it again,” Mrs. Hicks cooed. “Delicious meal.”
“Why, thank you.” He tipped his hat to her. “If only I could whip up a fence as easily as that.” He nodded toward the other side of the creek bed. The fence posts were barely noticeable beyond the grove of post oaks along the embankment.
“We are so happy that you finally have your houses ready,” Mrs. Hicks continued.
“So am I. I’ve spent the last month living in a hole,” Ben blurted, rubbing the back of his neck. Everyone laughed.
“Dave, why don’t you get the muffins from the wagon,” Sarah said breathlessly. She cast a twinkling gaze in Aubrey’s direction. “I made those muffins you raved about. Thought they could pass as dessert—Ah!” She clutched her midsection and the entire Jessup clan moved toward her in one swift motion.
“What’s the matter, Mama?” Their oldest, Jolene, asked.
“I think it’s time, dear.” She looked up at Mr. Jessup and patted his hand. “Mrs. Hicks, do you still want to help with the labor?” Their mutual neighbor clapped her hands and jostled over, offering a hand while Sarah stood. They took a couple of steps, and then Sarah stopped, seizing her belly and breathing hard.
Mrs. Hicks rubbed her back. “Take us home, Mr. Jessup,” she commanded.
“Home?” Adelaide yelped. “We just got here. Mama!”
Mrs. Hicks took Sarah by one elbow while Mr. Jessup got the wagon ready. All the girls surrounded their mother and chattered away with excitement, except Adelaide.
Aubrey stroked Adelaide’s curls. “Your mama wants to have the baby in her own house, Addie. That’s why you worked so hard to get it up.”
Her blue eyes swam. She clutched her doll and Aubrey’s arm. “Please, Miss Aubrey. I don’t wanna go.”
“You’ll want to meet your baby brother or sister, won’t you?”
Sarah called out breathlessly from atop the wagon bench, “She’s been looking forward to our picnic.”
Aubrey hid a yawn behind her hand, then knelt down face-to-face with the girl. “Addie, we will have picnics all the time, but your baby sibling will only come just this once. It’s an exciting time.”
She shook her curls furiously. “I want to stay.”
Mr. Jessup strode across and planted his large hands on Addie’s shoulders. “Adelaide Jessup, you are not being polite to Miss Huxley or your mama.”
“I’m sorry, Pa,” she muttered, then swiveled around and wrapped her arms around his legs. “I’m—I’m scared.”
Mr. Jessup bent down and kissed her forehead. He brushed his finger across her cheek and took her button chin. “Darling, it’s not scary. It’s life at its finest.” Aubrey’s heart skipped.
“I don’t wanna see Mama hurt.” Little sobs bleated from Addie’s lips.
“I know. I know.” He kissed her again then stood up. Aubrey tried to keep from gaping at the sympathy and concern evident in Mr. Jessup’s actions. “Miss Huxley, how about Addie stays just awhile? I can send one of the girls to get her in a couple hours or so.”
A few blinks and she pulled herself together. “Of course. We can make her doll a new dress for the baby’s arrival.”
Adelaide jumped up and down, squealing, “Thank you, Daddy! Thank you!”
Before the Jessups left, Cort and Mr. Hicks shook hands with Mr. Jessup. They all stood together while waving goodbye to the family. Aubrey gathered up Addie’s hand and gave it a squeeze.
“Your pa is pretty nice to let you stay with me,” Aubrey said as they walked to finish their food.
“I know.” Adelaide smiled. “I love him.”
What a blessed little girl to have a father like Mr. Jessup. Aubrey tried her best to remember that even though she’d never had a father care for her, her Heavenly Father did. “Those Jessups are paving the way for a mighty fine legacy. Don’t you agree?” Cort said as he sat beside her.
She could only smile. Cort hoped to do so for his nephew. Children had a way of softening the hearts of even the toughest of men.
She wished she cared about the Huxley legacy. But it was hard to care for something that had been left to the wayside long ago. Although Mama’s ranch would at least break away from the ill course the Huxleys had set. But she couldn’t credit the Huxleys with such a legacy as Mama’s ranch. Pa didn’t deserve any part of it. Did he?
Chapter Thirteen
Once Mr. Hicks left, Cort tried to keep busy down in the creek. He washed the pans and plates, leaving Aubrey and Addie to tidy up the picnic area. A swarm of emotions crowded him more than at any other time. There was just something about a woman nurturing a child. Aubrey’s ways with Addie reminded him of how, deep down, he would love a family of his own—perhaps have a chance to grow the Stanton name into a noble one himself.
Why had he given up his life because of his brother? Regret wormed into his conscience.
Father, forgive me.
But how could he expect God to forgive him, when he could hardly forgive himself? Wasn’t that what had made him weak in the moment when he was caught for his brother’s crime? He’d lived numb to a life of crime before, but he’d felt it was about time it caught up to him. He’d needed to reconcile it. Seeing the fear in Charles’s eyes and thinking about his little nephew without a father had transformed Cort’s weak moment to one of his own personal redemption.
He scrubbed off the crusty corn bread from the cast-iron skillet. Taking his ti
me, he gathered the dishes in his crate and headed back up to the houses. When he placed them in the corner where he’d eventually put his kitchen, he spied his Bible. Just this morning he’d read Hebrews. The sacrifice was done. Nothing left. Why couldn’t he believe that for himself?
He wanted to believe it, but it was too late to allow that freedom to settle in his spirit. The mess of trouble would catch up with him, eventually. Or else, he’d live this life wondering when it would and holding back from all life’s joys because of it.
His mood soured, and he had a whole afternoon for it to fester. Great. He’d go for a ride. That would help. He strode across the prairie, anxious to mount his horse and clear his mind. Ben snoozed under the tree, and Aubrey was nowhere to be found. He’d heard her calling Addie’s name earlier. They must be off playing a game.
When he headed east to go over to the other side of the property, Aubrey ran around the corner of her house, frantic.
“Cort! Have you seen Addie?” Her face was pale. “I—I—I fell asleep...and—” Her lip quivered and she began to weep. “I’ve looked all over the creek bed and up here. What if she’s lost in the grasses? Or worse, what if she’s hurt somewhere?”
He’d never seen her like this before. Her shoulders shook. He flung himself off his horse and folded his arms around her. Cort tried to push away the memories of men in town who talked about run-ins with rattlesnakes out here. He’d never seen one around these parts.
He cleared his throat. “She probably went home. Don’t worry.”
“How could I do this?” she screeched. “She was my responsibility. I couldn’t keep my eyes open, and she seemed content playing with her doll.” She pushed away and ran over to Ben, shaking him awake. “Have you seen Addie?”
Cort hollered, “I’ll go to the Jessups’ and see if she’s there—”
“No!” Aubrey stumbled toward him, twisting her hands together. “If she’s not there, then poor Sarah—” she clasped her mouth with a trembling hand, mumbling “—she has enough to think about.”