INK: Abstraction

by Roccaforte, Bella

  She smiles and looks to Carl. “I’m starving, thanks so much. And I love you too.” She leans forward on the bed to where I’m sitting and pecks me on the cheek, holding my gaze a moment, conveying a different sort of hunger to me. She leans in closer to my ear. “I want you too.”

  What just happened here? “Huh?”

  “You heard me.” She winks, biting down on her lower lip and sliding back under the covers. “I’m going to get some rest. I’m feeling a little tired and don’t want to be completely exhausted when I get home.”

  “Okay, I’m going to make some phone calls outside. If you need me just holler. Carl, are you going to be in here?” All I want to do is sit here and watch her sleep, bask in her beauty. But I’ve got to make these phone calls.

  “Yeah, I’m not expecting a call from McNab for a while,” Carl says, looking at the time.

  “Oh, is he coming back soon?” Shay asks, excited.

  “I’m not sure, but I don’t think so. He mentioned having to take care of something and that he would be a few more days,” Carl answers, shifting in his seat.

  “Well, goodnight.” She presses her fingers to her lips then to mine. “You should get some rest too.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Goodbye to the Infinity Power

  Shay

  I'm dreaming again. I've never been to the jungle before, but if I had it wouldn't have been in a ball gown. As a matter of fact not even for prom did I wear a proper ball gown. This Cinderella shit’s ridiculous.

  The trees are a thick lush kaleidoscope of greens varying in shade from very light to very dark with patches of brown and black where tree trunks and bark peek through the thicket. For a moment I wonder if this is some sort of variation of the Specter's haunted hideaway, but it doesn’t feel like it. It doesn't feel right for that. It’s peaceful here, almost safe.

  All of my dreams are unsettling, creating this bizarre paranoia that I carry with me everywhere I go. There's no real way to tell the difference between reality and not reality.

  There is no sense of safety, and it's not something I may ever feel again—ever.

  Walking through the lush solitude of the jungle is cleansing. I'm actually able to think and imagine myself not being afraid of, well, afraid of everything.

  Before Glass took me my confidence was on the rise along with my self reliance. I didn't give up when he had me tied up, so why would I now? I'm not going to, and I'm going to reclaim where I was, reclaim what I was doing and continue on the road to freedom and self-reliance. A shiver runs through me at the thought of being alone. Can I do it? Can I really be alone in a house or walk across a parking lot?

  After considering the alternative of being weak and dependent I realize there is no alternative. I just have to take the time and remember that I am strong. Every minute that I spend being afraid I spend belonging to Glass. He can't take any more from me; I will not allow him to make me a victim for the rest of my life. I'm a survivor. That doesn't mean I'm perfect, it just means I'm not giving up and he doesn’t own me.

  The sound of running water filters through the leaves. I move toward it wondering what I will find. It's not a rushing river or an ocean, just a small stream. I wouldn't want to cross it, specifically not in a ball gown. That would be silly.

  The stream is strikingly clear. There’s a myriad of multicolored rocks that speckle the stream bed that looks inviting. I let the water flow through my fingers. It's very cool to the touch. Some small fish scatter away from my hand.

  "I've never seen a more beautiful flower in the jungle before." His warm creamy voice rolls over my ears, prompting me to look up to find Gabriel staring at me from across the water.

  "Gabriel." My tone is mixed with excitement and relief. A wicked grin blooms on my lips. I look at the stream and hesitate. I want to run to him, but I'm sure if I try to cross I'll ruin my gown.

  Without a second thought he wades through the ankle deep water. For his long legs it's only about seven steps and a jump to the bank where I'm standing. Gabriel takes me into his arms and holds me tight.

  "You look stunning." He says it low and close to my ear. His breath brushes my bare shoulder.

  "You look very handsome yourself, sir." I poke him in the chest playfully and give his bowtie a tug. “Bowties are cool.”

  We look at each other in silence for a moment, both at a loss for words. A darkness enters my thoughts. "Do you know why we're here?"

  "No, I don't. So far as I know there isn't any Specter activity. I'm keeping an open mind though," he says, lacking confidence.

  "How do you know when the Specter is about to do something? I mean, how is it we're able to find him or find what's left of his victims?" I need to know everything about the Specter if I'm going to defeat him.

  Gabriel's gray eyes cloud over with a lifetime of sorrow. His head lowers from the weight of the pain. I guide my hand down his stubble-covered face and guide his eyes back to mine. "Gabriel?"

  He inhales a deep breath. "I'm connected to the Specter. I don't know how, and I don't know why, but we are connected. He summons me to witness his horror as though it's a sick game and he can't have fun if I'm not watching."

  "I don't understand." My face crinkles with confusion.

  "Somehow along the way the Specter attached himself to me and for whatever reason he's drawn me into his sick game of cat and mouse." There's moisture mixing with regret in his eyes. "I've been working on different ways to combat him. Ways to try to stay ahead of him. I've been getting closer and closer. Now if I can just do something when I get to him I might be able to make a difference. Now that I know they are more than just a shadow of events and see them in real time, not just an echo of a memory. I figured that out when your neighbors were killed."

  "Gabriel, I'm so sorry." I press my face against his chest and wrap my arms around him to hug the pain away that lives within him.

  He rests his hands on my shoulders and presses a tight smile. "I've got you now though. Having you back makes it all worth it. I'm so lost without you."

  His feelings for me are so confusing; I don't understand how he could feel so strongly. I've always just chalked it up to being a dream, and honestly, who dreams of an asshole for a lover?

  "What are you doing here?" Alarm cycles through me at hearing a voice other than Gabriel's.

  The rustling of leaves draws my attention to where a man emerges from the thicket, wild eyed and disheveled. His skin is honeyed by long exposure to the sun and glistening with sweat, accentuating his exquisite form. Never before have I ever cared what the names of muscles were, but right now I want to name each and every one of them. The beads of sweat dripping down his chest are tantalizing and I want to lick them, taste them, and feel the saltiness on my tongue. Heat rises to my face and my thighs throb. I release a breath, slow and sexy like smoke, while I take him in, admire him. His arms are solid and flexing as he grips a blood-soaked machete. Intricate symbols climb up his arms and across his chest partly in the form of a maze, but wait. No, it’s something else now. The ink in the tattoos appears to be in constant motion, shifting and changing.

  I’m mesmerized, staring at him when his voice startles me out of the trance. "What are you doing here?"

  His voice clicks and I realize it's “Aiden?”

  “Answer me, what are you doing here?” he demands, taking a step closer.

  Gabriel pulls me into him protectively, and I turn to him. “It’s okay.”

  "Dancing, how about you?" I wrap my arms around Gabriel as though we were about to take flight on a dance floor.

  "Who's this?" Gabriel asks, pointing a finger toward Aiden.

  "It's Aiden." How rude of me not making the introductions. "Aiden Roth, Gabriel Stokes; Gabriel Stokes, Aiden Roth." The silliness of my brain and dream function overcomes me and a giggle escapes. This is a very ridiculous dream, delicious, but ridiculous. Here I am in a ball gown with two drop dead gorgeous men in the jungle.

  They shake hands with
an unsurety I've never seen in either of them. Their discomfort is apparent. Aiden puts his hands in his pockets. "Um, nice to meet you, Gabriel."

  Gabriel rocks on his feet. "Likewise."

  "So, I'm here to dance, what brings you out to the jungle on this fine day?" I ask Aiden, full of acceptance for the preposterous situation.

  Aiden looks me square in the eye and says, "Trying to get away from you."

  My insides cinch in a sharp revelation, my smile fades. "What?" It comes from my mouth as a barely audible whisper as pain spikes down my spine.

  "Wow," Gabriel remarks and pulls me into him closer to shield me from Aiden's hurt. "What the hell is wrong with you, man?"

  "You don't understand." Aiden's expression changes from determined to remorseful. "I have to. I don't have a choice." He looks down at the ground and shuffles one foot.

  "Why don't you have a choice?" I take two tentative steps toward him. He matches them backward.

  "Because," he says simply, "you need to live your life. I'm done; I've had my chance at it all. Now I'm—I'm—I'm just dead." His words resonate through me like a bell that's been struck with a wrecking ball.

  "No." I reach for him and he turns away defeated and disappears through the leaves. My arm remains extended long after the foliage stops moving from his disturbance.

  Gabriel lays his hands on my bare shoulders. He leans down and whispers in my ear, "It's going to be okay. He was never yours anyway. I know how your heart has ached for him. But now it is done." He presses a kiss on the back of my head. "Come on, come be with me. Let's find that dance floor."

  I think for a solid minute. It isn't as though I didn't already know he was gone. This is something I’ve already come to terms with in many ways. I relive many of the sweet moments from our life together: the good, the bad, and now the end. With a sad smile I blow my last unspent kiss into the air as my goodbye to Aiden. I touch Gabriel's hand on my shoulder. "Do you think we'll find one?"

  "It's your dream and for now you're in control."

  "You're right. Let's go." I turn in the opposite direction that Aiden went. I stop short and press my lips together. “But the water.”

  Gabriel sweeps me up into his arms and my ball gown wooshes and poofs. A reluctant laugh makes its way through the sadness as Gabriel crosses the stream.

  He looks at me with warmth and unspoken hunger just beneath. "You're incredibly beautiful when you laugh, smile...everything."

  My cheeks fill with color, forcing me to look away from the intensity of his gaze. In that moment I have no idea what I look like here. It's not like I've ever looked in the dream-mirror. Gabriel is seeing something that can’t be the reality. I look at my arms around his neck. My skin is flawless, no marks, no cuts or bruises. Little wonder he thinks I'm beautiful, he's not seeing the real me.

  "Hey, we're here to dance, you're not allowed to dwell on anything." Gabriel continues carrying me through the vegetation.

  "Yes sir. Dancing." I force the smile he needs from me and bury my face in his chest.

  "Ah, yes, can you hear the music?" he asks.

  The orchestral peal of the violins filters through the greenery. Amazement and joy replace most of my sadness. "I can hear it. It's beautiful."

  We enter a clearing with hundreds of pulsing fireflies creating a warm yellowish hue. Palm fronds are woven together, forming a checkerboard dance floor. I offer him a curious smile and ask, "Did you do this?"

  Mischief betrays his gaze."No, my love, this I'm sure is all you."

  We sway to the rhythm of the music, then after a while we are just holding each other, reveling in the peace. The music has been replaced by the night sounds of a jungle. "Gabriel?"

  "Yes," he whispers softly in my ear, nibbling it.

  "Can I stay here forever?" My voice is laced with the innocence of a child. I never want to leave. There's a perceived safety here and I feel beautiful, something I'll never feel again in the waking world.

  There I’m covered with scars like some Frankenstein, throwback, emo kid who’s into cutting. Except my scars won't be the result of my stupidity, they are the result of someone's hatred for me.

  "I'm sorry, no." He presses a kiss on my shoulder. "Besides, you should remember safety is only an illusion. Here or anywhere." Gabriel hesitates when he sees the fear in my eyes. "I'm here to keep you safe, and I will always try. But neither of us really knows what this is."

  "I don't care what it is. I just don't want it to end." I'm like a child who doesn't want to leave the playground, but can you blame me?

  "Let’s not question the time we have together, I’m just happy to have it.” He touches his forehead to mine.

  The jungle falls silent; no crickets, no birds, no music. Just an eerie hush that hollows my bones. Gabriel noticed too and is on alert. Horrific screams travel through the air. Without thinking, Gabriel takes off toward the screaming with me following close behind. The wailing is getting further away. We can’t run fast enough to catch up. Gabriel has already disappeared through the vegetation.

  Think, Shay, I have to move faster. I push through the leaves and run smack into a horse all saddled up and ready to go. It’s a dream, I’m not going to question it. Hopefully the horse doesn’t know I really can’t ride.

  I catch up with Gabriel and he looks back, shocked. “What the hell?”

  “Get on. My dream, my rules.” I offer my hand. He swings up behind me and we race through the trees until we reach a clearing where we see Aiden and the Specter.

  The Specter has a knife inches from Aiden’s throat. Aiden is fighting for his life. Gabriel jumps down off the horse and runs toward them, pushing the Specter off of Aiden. The knife goes flying into the underbrush, lost. The Specter recovers fast and knocks Gabriel down. I run to Aiden, but my feet feel like they are made of concrete. I push forward, but I’m stopped by an invisible force that is keeping me from Aiden. The Specter looks toward me with his hollow eyes. “You will not be a heroine tonight, my love.”

  He produces another long knife that has a blinding glint to it. I shield my eyes but don’t look away. Through gritted teeth I seethe into the Specter. “I won’t let you hurt him.”

  Aiden lays helpless on the ground with the Specter poised to plunge the knife into his chest. Gabriel looks at me with a hopeless expression in his eyes. “I can’t move.”

  The Specter shifts his maniacal gaze to Aiden and then to me. He rises and glides toward me. “You’ve become a strong little thing, haven’t you?” A smile plays in the hollow of his mouth. “Excellent. Would you like to do the honors?” He holds the knife out to me.

  With purpose I take the knife from the Specter and go to Aiden. My fingers wrap around the handle with all of my strength. Aiden's panic subsides when I convey a silent message of love. His face softens, he’s either resolved to die or he knows I’d never hurt him.

  The Specter stands directly behind me and whispers in my ear, “Do it, this can be your first mercy kill.”

  “Yes, yes it will.” I raise the knife above my head and bring it down with all my might, turning and stabbing the Specter directly where his heart would be. Satisfaction fills me when the Specter’s expression fills with shock.

  “You, you…” He stumbles backward.

  Aiden howls in agony. I look down at him and he’s holding his hand to his chest. Blood is streaming through his fingers.

  “No!” I bend down to him, pressing my hands on his chest. “What the fuck is this?” The words ride out on an agonizing screech.

  Gabriel drops down to help with Aiden while the Specter fills the air with an evil cackle. “I know I can’t trust you yet, my love.”

  “What have you done?” I scream at him.

  “I did nothing, you did this.” His oozing smile makes me feel sick to my stomach.

  Aiden’s coughing and struggling for air, his head is in my lap and I tell him with soft eyes, “You have to hold on, it’s going to be okay.”

  Aiden rests his bloody han
d upon my face. “I know you didn’t mean to—” He coughs a few times and blood stains the corner of his mouth.

  “No, no, no don’t do this.” Despair mixed with anger burns in me as tears stream down my cheeks. Aiden releases his final breath, it sounds just like Nigel’s.

  A fierce pain rips through my insides and my tears fall even faster than before. Hot burning anger mixed with sorrow prompts me to look down into Aiden's eyes one last time. I press a kiss directly on his bloodied lips. “Goodbye, my love.”

  With hatred pouring from my soul I go to the Specter and wrap my hands around his neck and squeeze. His eyes grow dim. Seeing his light dwindle urges me to squeeze harder.

  The scene is fading and I know I’m about to wake up. I can’t let this go, I have to see this through; I can’t wake up. The Specter’s greasy grin is the last thing I see before opening my eyes in the hospital room, looking straight into Eli’s concerned gaze.

  “Shay, you’re having a nightmare,” he says, pushing the hair out of my face.

  “Oh God no, no.” The tears stream down my face more from anger than sadness. “I almost had him. I almost had the Specter.”

  “You're bleeding.” Eli touches my lips.

  My fingers find the moisture. I know it's there, I know what it is, it's Aiden's blood. I pull my hand away from my face and look at the blood then to Eli. “How many times do I have to say goodbye to him?”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Smoke, No Mirrors

  Shay

  The world seems so different as it passes by at seventy miles an hour. Eli and I are on the highway heading home. Over the scrub oaks to the west I can see bits and pieces of the St. John’s River. I’ll never look at it the same ever again. It used to be a place I remembered fondly, where I’ve been airboating with Aiden hundreds of times or fishing with Dad on the weekends. Now it will forever be the place where my body was found. Where Nigel’s body was found and now where they are looking for Aiden.