by Vivian Arend
Janey held the stick in the air, the two pink positive lines clear and bold. Undeniable.
“Fuck.” Katy leaned on the bathroom door, working to calm her breathing. “Okay, I can deal with this. It’s not the end of the world. It’s…”
Bursting into tears was the last thing she’d intended, but it happened. A moment later she was being supported by Janey’s firm hug. Petted and coddled all over again like her brothers had been doing for the past two months, but this time she wanted the pampering. At least for a few minutes.
When she pulled herself together, Janey handed her a fresh wad of tissue to replace the set she’d ravaged.
Katy wiped up the last of her tears. “Thanks for being a brat and bringing me the test.”
Janey nodded. “What you going to do, girl? You don’t have to keep it, you know. Especially not knowing…”
“Not knowing who the dad is?” Katy’s stomach fell three feet as she considered Simon might be the father. Her memories of him in some areas were clear enough to know he’d been trouble near the end of their relationship. What she considered the end. Did she really want to raise a baby with him around? “I have to sleep on it. Give it more thought. I’m not rushing into anything, not right off.”
Janey gave her a look. “Fine. I won’t push, but whatever you decide, I’m here for you, okay?”
Katy hugged her. “Thanks.”
They shuffled awkwardly for a moment before Janey sighed. “Not much use hanging out here unless you want me to try to break into your passwords on the computer again.”
“That’s not important right now. I have other things to worry about.” Katy groaned. “And now that I know why I’m sick, I guess I’ll find some ways to feel better.”
“Rest. More vitamins.” Janey nodded. “I’ll do some research.”
“Careful. I don’t want anyone to know until…”
Until time allowed the information to truly soak in. They nodded at each other, jokes and kidding put aside for once as this new secret they shared was beyond any childish prank or youthful daydream.
Janey left her with a final hug.
Secrets.
One great big secret that was only going to get bigger. Literally bigger.
Katy wandered into the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea while she considered. There was a person growing inside her. She tossed a piece of bread into the toaster, staring out the window as the timer clicked down, the noise echoing in the silent house.
A baby.
Click. Click. Click.
She’d told Janey she would think about it, but there was nothing to think about. She’d didn’t want to have an abortion. And giving up her baby? Impossible.
It was clear. She was going to be a mom.
Now the mystery was…would there be a dad or not? That one wasn’t nearly as cut and dried.
Gage stared at the house, wishing he’d done this right the first time, immediately after getting home. Six days was as long as he could wait before nearly going stir-crazy. He’d used the time to ask questions on the sly. To gather as much information as possible, so when he made a move it would be in her best interest and not simply following his gut response to take control.
To reassure himself all over again this was the right thing, him getting involved in her life.
It hadn’t been a lack of bravery that had made him walk away from Katy that first night. It was trying to keep the possessive beast inside him under wraps. He’d worked so hard to be different than his father. To be considered patient, and caring. Gentle even.
Bubbling inside were far different emotions. Holding back was too much to ask, and he didn’t want to wait any longer.
Katy needed to know what they’d done. What they’d agreed to. She’d had time since the accident. If their relationship ended up being another issue to deal with, at least they’d deal with it together. That didn’t make him an asshole.
He knocked on the door, anxious to get started.
The woman who greeted him was still on the green side, and his heart went out to her even as his gaze took in the rounded curves under her housecoat.
“Oh, look. Gage Jenick. I barely recognized you without your beard.”
She was cracking jokes. That was a good sign. “You still sick?”
She shrugged. “Feeling a bit better. What’s up?”
Had to seem strange since he didn’t usually drop in on her like this. Not before they’d…
“I need to talk to you.”
Katy frowned. “Something wrong with my brothers? Or at the garage?”
“No, nothing. This is personal.”
That only seemed to confuse her more. “Give me a second to pull on some clothes, okay?”
He paced the room until she returned, unable to settle in one spot. All the reasons he had gone slowly with establishing a relationship were valid ones—yet there didn’t have to be roadblocks anymore. Part of him wanted to leap up and cheer. The other tightened the ropes he’d looped around himself years ago, ordering himself to maintain control.
Right now she needed a friend in her life, not another bossy male. Somehow he would find the strength to behave and not fuck this up.
“Want something to drink?” she offered.
He shook his head. “I needed to talk to you about your accident. More specifically, the night before.”
Katy collapsed onto the couch. “This is old boring territory, Gage. I don’t—”
“Humour me. I know it’s boring because you’ve said it a million times, but I haven’t heard it.”
Katy the brat showed up, rolling her eyes at him before responding. “I was out for the night. Went home. Got my car the next morning, and went off the road into the ditch and bumped my head. You think book or movie options would sell better?”
He ignored the snark. “How did you get home from the bar?”
She opened her mouth, then closed it quickly. “Oh. You drove me. That’s right, Clay told me that. Thanks, if I didn’t say it before.”
Damn it. Gage let a growl of frustration escape. “Katy. We weren’t worried about our please and thank-yous when we got here that night.”
Her eyes widened. “What are you talking about?”
He lowered himself beside her on the couch and slipped his hand over hers. “Something happened that night. We both wanted it, and if I hadn’t gone north, we’d be together now.”
Her entire body went rigid. “Together, as in how?”
Gage stroked her fingers gently, willing her to at least remember his touch. “We made love, Katy. A bunch of times. And it was hot and amazing, and I can’t wait to do it again.”
The pallor of her skin brightened as twin red spots flushed her cheeks. “We…made love. After you drove me home.”
Her confusion was understandable, so he nodded and went on. “I know it was shitty timing, not only because of the accident, but because I had to leave the next day. I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you. Sorry you had to deal with your accident without me around, but I intend on being here for you from now on. No matter what you need.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Katy jerked her hand from his and snapped to her feet. “Who told you? Did Janey tell you? I’m going to kill her.”
Not the reaction he’d been looking for. “Tell me what? I haven’t seen Janey.”
“Right,” she drawled. Her eyes narrowed. “Don’t do this, Gage. The last thing I need on top of everything else is someone pretending they want to be with me out of a sense of obligation.”
“What makes you think I feel obligated to be with you?” Gage rose as well, looking down at her small form that vibrated with anger. “Hell, Katy, I’ve been lusting after you for a long time, and that night was one of the best things that ever happened to me.”
“Kind of like my family was the best thing ever? A safe place in the storm after all those foster families?” Katy stomped away a few feet before twirling on him. “Okay, that wasn’t nice. I’m glad you feel like
one of the family, Gage, but I certainly never thought you were the type to be willing to sacrifice your entire future on a whim like this.”
Somewhere their wires had gotten crossed. “I have no idea how me being a foster kid, or your family, is even involved in this discussion, or what the hell sacrificing my future means. Before I left we said we would work on being together. On spending time and getting to know each other more.”
“Sweet sentiment, especially when you toss in having a kid. Babies aren’t something you can return to the store when they become inconvenient, Gage.”
Wait. What?
“Babies? What are you talking about?”
She froze with her mouth open as panic slipped into her eyes.
A pit opened in front of Gage, and he stood with one foot in midair over the unfathomable depths. He took in all the signs, lined up the data, then waited for his ability to speak to return.
“Wait, are you telling me you’re pregnant?”
Holy shit. Holy fuck. Holy crap.
Katy took a deep breath before muttering her response. “So. That went well.”
“Answer the question.” Gage narrowed the gap between them. “Are you serious? You’re pregnant?”
She frowned. “You sure you didn’t know?”
“How could I know? Oh man, Katy. I had no idea.” Gage wasn’t sure his feet would continue to hold him. It might be a cop-out, but the room was wavering. “I need to sit down.”
He stumbled backward and collapsed onto the couch. Katy was pregnant. They’d had sex, she’d had an accident, and he…
They…
She…
Katy snickered. “You want me to get you some smelling salts?”
Gage lifted his gaze to meet hers. “How far along are you?”
It was her turn to pause. “Oh, shit, you’re not serious, are you?”
“About what?”
Katy dropped into the seat opposite him. She made the most hysterical face as she scratched her head. “Good grief. Okay—for the sake of discussion, let’s assume you’re telling the truth. You drove me home and we spent the night knocking boots.”
“It is true.”
She glared at him. “Let me talk this through without interruption, or I will kick your ass out the door.”
His head was still spinning from trying to process the idea of a baby on the way. “You’ve gotten an attitude since I left,” he observed.
“Comes from being knocked around and knocked up.” She stared at the ceiling before leaning forward and asking very earnestly. “Now if we did the horizontal mambo, was there a reason why I’d be pregnant? Did we not use a condom? Did it break?”
Gage shook his head. “We used protection, every time. Including in the shower.”
Her cheeks went bright red at his comment, but she pushed forward. “Then it makes no sense. It couldn’t be you. If…you know, we did what you said.”
“It can happen. Condoms aren’t foolproof, and we were pretty enthusiastic.” His stomach was in knots. Gage paused. He wasn’t trying to get out of his responsibilities, but it would be stupid not to get all the details. “You had the accident the day after I left. Not to be indelicate, but have you been with anyone since?”
She snorted. “Are you freaking kidding me? I’ve been lucky to go shopping without supervision. Clay and the boys have had me on lockdown ever since.”
Gage nodded. “I can believe that. Okay, then. Mystery solved.”
He dragged a hand through his hair, wondering if he should go hug her or kiss her, or do something other than sit like a bump on a log as he attempted to get over the shock.
Katy grimaced. “Um…”
He saw her, heard her, but his brain was racing a million miles an hour.
A baby.
Sweet mercy, he’d had one night with Katy, and they’d gone and got her pregnant. There was so much wrong with that in so many ways he could barely put one thought behind another.
He wanted Katy. Wanted to care for her, and be there for her.
Being a father? Not on the list of things he had planned. Not today, maybe not ever.
“There is…” Katy crossed her arms and damn near rumbled with frustration. “Damn it. Damn it, damn it.”
“What?”
“Okay, the only guy I know I had sex with, because while you say we did, I don’t remember it, so sorry for this, but I did have sex with Simon. It could be he’s the dad.”
A wave of furious anger struck like a lightning bolt. Gage wasn’t sure how he ended up on his feet towering over her, but the mere idea of Simon back in Katy’s life was enough to tear down all his hesitations. “Not bloody likely.”
She shrugged. “True facts, Gage. I had sex with him.”
“You broke up with him.” Gage caught her hands in his as he shoved his internal misgivings and fears into the corner. He didn’t want to be an asshole, but no fucking way was she going to be with anyone but him. “We had our night, I sent you an email—”
“Which I never got,” Katy pointed out. “Simon was here the other day, insisting that we’d gotten back together. How can I know for sure?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Gage insisted. “You don’t want to be with him. You want to do the best thing for you, and that’s not being with him, it’s being with me.”
Katy paused. “You mean I need to do the best thing for the baby, right?”
Gage swallowed hard. “Right. For the bab—” The word stuck in his throat. God. A baby. He switched tack and pulled his phone from his pocket. “Look. I should have the message I wrote you in my sent box.”
“Gage…”
He ignored her growing scowl and instead scrambled back in his files, only to swear in frustration.
“What?”
Gage looked up into a set of deep brown eyes marred by sleepless shadows under them. “My email automatically clears old messages after thirty days.”
“Convenient.” Katy sighed. “Look, I need to think about this more.” She made a face. “Talk to Simon, I guess.”
Time to think was good. Gage resisted glancing at his watch, because he didn’t give a fuck it wasn’t even noon. His thinking time was going to require a couple hard shots of liquor. “I’ll call you this afternoon.”
She shook her head. “Tomorrow.”
Blast it all. Gage took advantage of his height and crowded her. “Look, I’ll admit it. I’m more than a touch floored right now, but that doesn’t change what’s important. I care about you, and whether or not you believe me, I know there is a good possibility I’m the father of your baby. So we can think things through, and talk about them, but there is one thing I want to make clear right now. I will be in your life, Katy Thompson. I will be there to help you, and there is nothing you can say that will change my mind.”
For the first time since their strange conversation had begun, a faint hint of a real smile teased her lips and the lines at the corners of her eyes softened. She laid a hand on his crossed arms. “Thank you.”
He didn’t remember leaving. Next thing he knew he was in his truck tearing down a quiet back road. The radio remained silent while the snow blanketing the fields rose and fell like an endless sea around him.
Katy Thompson was pregnant, and he was going to be a father.
The ice and cold outside had nothing on the icy fear threatening to wrap itself around his heart.
Chapter Seven
Katy debated long and hard before making the call, but it had to be done. She did make sure Janey didn’t know the details. Last thing she needed in the room with her while talking to Simon was a lit bomb with a short fuse.
It had snowed overnight, and outside a clean layer of the white stuff covered everything. Her car, the walkway, the long driveway leading back to the main road. Normally she would have pulled on her coat and scarf and been out there already, the fresh air and rising sunshine refreshing her. Her stomach, however, still demanded she do nothing more than sit by the window with a cup of tea
.
This morning she would talk to Simon. This evening at their weekly family dinner, she’d face her brothers.
It was like some nightmare she couldn’t quite wake up from. The only thing keeping her from flipping out completely was the knowledge she had a roof over her head for the long run. The house was hers, lock, stock and barrel, an inheritance from her mom, along with enough money to make being a single mom bearable until the kid was in school and she could work more full-time hours.
And… It wasn’t right, but the other thing grounding her? The expression in Gage’s eyes the other day—
So serious. So determined and solid in spite of his surprise about the baby.
What if he was simply trying to rescue her out of gratitude for the way he’d been accepted into her family? Something inside her wanted to say So what? Everything she knew about Gage said he was a good man, and if he wanted to throw in his lot with her and a baby for the next sixteen-plus years, she’d be crazy to turn him down. No matter how wrong it was to take advantage of his offer.
But first there was the issue of Simon.
Outside, a large truck with an attached snow blade was doing loops down her driveway. One of her brothers was taking care of the chore like usual, and she had to smile. They were good to her.
They were all going to freak tonight when she told them about the baby. But they’d freak, and then they’d buckle down and be there for her. Like always.
The doorbell rang, and she realized she’d been daydreaming in the sunshine. Time to face the music.
Simon beamed as she opened the door. “Hey, sugar. You’re looking better. Beat that flu bug finally?”
“Sort of.” She stepped back to let him enter, sidestepping his embrace. “Thanks for coming over.”
“No prob.” His smile tightened as Katy continued to evade his moves into her personal space. He finally gave up and turned to the living room, making himself comfortable on the couch. “I was glad to hear from you. I’ve missed you a ton. It’s been hell since your accident.”
He was telling her.
“There have been lots of changes lately. The accident, and a few other things have started to develop.” There. That was a nice hint of foreshadowing. She was about to dive in when her phone rang—her dad. “Sorry, have to get this.”