by Emma Tharp
Table of Contents
Epilogue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Other books by Emma Tharp:
All In
McLoughlin Brothers Book 2
Emma Tharp
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Other books by Emma Tharp:
All In (Book Two in the McLoughlin Brothers Series)
By Emma Tharp
Copyright © 2018 by Emma Tharp
For more about this author, please visit www.emmatharp.com
All characters and events in this book, other than those clearly in the public domain, are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator” at the address below.
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Main category—Fiction
Other category—Romance
First Edition
Created with Vellum
1
Jackson
“Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Happy New Year!” the crowd chants at the stroke of midnight. Streamers float through the air, champagne glasses clink, and noise makers squeak their songs of joy at the prospect of the coming year.
Amelia plants her warm full lips to mine. Always soft and welcoming. She pulls back and whispers in my ear, “I’m pregnant.”
“What?” I ask, moving my ear closer to her mouth, hoping the proximity will change the words. There’s no way in hell I heard her right.
She repeats herself and her pale hazel eyes search my face for a response. I don’t have one. My mouth goes dry and the taste of my last beer moves up the back of my throat. She has an IUD. She said we were safe. Holy fuck. I take several calming breaths. “Wow.”
“I know this is a surprise. But I wasn’t sure how to tell you.” Her hand moves up my chest and her gaze won’t leave mine.
Just then, my brother, Braeden, and his girlfriend, Scarlette, come up to us. Brae shakes my hand and Scarlette grabs Amelia for a hug. “Happy New Year, guys,” they say in unison.
“Happy New Year,” Amelia says.
Standing in stunned silence, my ever so perceptive brother asks, “Everything okay, man?”
“I’m not sure. Think I might have eaten something that isn’t sitting well.” I grasp my stomach and grimace. “You ready to head out, Amelia?”
“Of course,” Amelia says, her face a mask of concern.
“Sorry we’re taking off early, but I think I need to go to bed.” I kiss Scarlette on the cheek and shake Brae’s hand.
“I hope you feel better,” Scarlette says.
“Thank you,” I say. My brother scored when he and Scarlette started dating. He asked her to move in with him before Christmas. She’s good for him. They balance each other out. I wasn’t sure if he’d ever find the right woman to settle down with. When Scarlette came along, her kind heart and caring ways sealed the deal for Brae. If I were a betting man, I’d say he proposes to her before next New Year.
Amelia and I take an Uber back to my house. It’s only a ten minute ride, but we spend it in near silence. I don’t know what to say to her, but mostly I don’t know how to feel about it.
Amelia is the best woman I know. And I’ve known her forever. She’s my best friend, Will’s, baby sister. That makes her completely off limits. I’ve never let my dick make decisions for me when it comes to her. Until Ireland, four months ago.
When I saw her pictures on social media, I couldn’t believe that we were both there at the same time. She was there with friends and I was with my brothers. We met up one night at a pub and we ended up back in my room, living out all the fantasies that I’d had about her for so many years. It was the hottest sex I’d ever had, not only because it was taboo, but because we connected on an emotional level too. It confused the shit out of me; I’ve never wanted a woman more than Amelia, but my friendship with Will is important to me.
When the Uber pulls up outside my place, we exit the car, thank the driver, and walk inside. We agreed before the night started that we’d be spending tonight at my place, since it’s closer to Braeden’s. I turn the lights on and throw my keys down on the kitchen counter. My house is perfect for me. I bought it a few years ago cheap and flipped it. It’s what I do for a living: build houses with my brothers. Some might call my place a bachelor pad. It’s not huge, but my living room TV is eighty inches. It’s what I need, up-to-date and functional.
Grabbing Amelia’s hand, I ask, “Want to go to bed? I’m exhausted.”
Her face is pale and her shoulder muscles are corded tight. “Jackson, you haven’t said anything since I told you I’m pregnant. You have to talk to me. I can’t stand this silence.”
Brushing the hair back off her shoulder, I kiss her cheek and grab her hand. “Let’s go upstairs and talk.” We walk up the stairs to my bedroom. I strip down to my boxer briefs and crawl into bed.
Amelia stands at the foot of my bed with her arms crossed. “You think I’m going to have sex with you now?”
This would be easier if I wasn’t exhausted. My day started at five a.m. We’re trying to finish a project at work and it’s been taking all of my time. I get out of bed and stand in front of her. “Baby, let’s lie down. I’m not asking you to have sex with me.” It’s time to disarm her. I reach behind her and pull the zipper down the back of her sexy black mini dress. It pools around her feet. Slipping her black lace bra straps down her shoulder, I trace a line straight down her shoulder to her arm. Her eyes smolder; so damn sexy. I could probably take her right now, but that’s not what either of us needs. I go to my dresser and pull out an old SU t-shirt and slip it on over her head. Taking her hand, I lead her to the bed and pull back the covers for her. Her eyes scan me one last time before she slides into the sheets. I climb into my side and pull her head onto my chest. “I’m sorry I haven’t said anything yet.”
She looks up at me and brings her hands under her chin. “How do you feel?”
Great question. I haven’t got a clue. Before Amelia, all I did was play with women. No commitments, just a good time. When we got back from Ireland, I didn’t know how to act around her, didn’t know if we should take things any further. Neither one of us want to hurt Will. She thinks he’ll take it okay. I don’t agree. I was just wrapping my head around a committed relationship with her. Now all of the sudden she tells me she’s pregnant. I need a minute. “If I’m being honest, I don’t know how to feel.” I run my fingers through the top of her hair. My attempt at soothing her.
She doesn’t look m
ad. Disappointed, maybe, but not pissed. “Okay. You’re not angry with me.”
“No.” Here I am thinking she hates me because I’m emotionally unequipped to talk to her about this. “I just need a little time to think. It’s a lot to process.”
She sighs and blows a long breath out between her red, full lips. “It is. I can’t believe it either. This isn’t supposed to happen with an IUD.”
“That’s what I thought too.”
“Of course, I’m the .009 percent that this happens to.”
We lie in silence. She’s making little circles with her fingernails on my chest. My eyelids get heavy. “Can we talk about this again in the morning?”
“Okay.”
That’s all I remember before I pass out.
A good night’s sleep does help to tamper the shock. A little. My head is still reeling, but if I don’t man up I’ll hurt Amelia. That’s something I don’t want to do.
She’s lying on her back, and her t-shirt has ridden up, exposing her flat stomach. Touching it with my fingertips, I can’t believe my baby is in there. Her eyes flick open, lids still heavy with sleep. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
Glancing up at me, her eyes are full of concern. “It’s okay. How do you feel this morning?” Her voice is thick from sleep.
“Better.” I struggle to paint on a smile. By the look on her face, I’m not sure she buys it.
Lines crease her forehead. Disappointment tugs the corner of her mouth down. “You don’t have to lie to me. I can handle the truth.”
She thinks she can handle it, but I disagree. She doesn’t want to hear what’s going on in my mind right now because I’m still fighting with doubt and fear. I’m such a selfish bastard. The baby of the family who was spoiled rotten, and always got his way. My well-intended mother did everything for me, never forcing me to grow up. Can I really be a good father? Am I ready for all that comes with being a parent? Amelia will be a wonderful mother and she wants me to be as ready as she is. She has always been great with kids, from babysitting to helping out her friends with children. It comes naturally to her. She wants the fairytale, but I’m not Prince Charming. Far fucking from it.
“I’m going to have to build us a house,” I say. If I can steer this conversation away from emotions and expectations and bring it back to practicality, maybe that will make her happy. I know how to make dreams come true in the shape of a new home. “This place isn’t big enough. Babies need space to play and a nursery.”
Her eyes light up. It has the desired effect. “You really want to build us a house?”
“Yeah. Maybe in the new development we’ve been building in. There are a couple of lots left. We can drive over and look at them if you’d like.”
“I was afraid to tell you. I thought you wouldn’t want it.”
She’s always been a pessimist. Her statement doesn’t surprise me. “I was in shock, but I’d never tell you to have an abortion.”
A tear forms at the corner of her eye. I wipe it with my thumb. “Thank you, Jackson.”
Did she honestly think I would tell her to terminate the pregnancy? Christ, I’m not a monster. “You don’t have to thank me. But I have a concern that’s been weighing on my mind.”
“What is it?” she asks.
“Your brother. When are we going to tell him?” Anxiety tugs at my muscles even thinking about telling Will that I’ve been seeing his sister. It’s always been the unwritten rule between us. Now we have to tell him that I got her pregnant. I might not make it out of that conversation alive.
“We have to wait until I’m out of the first trimester. We can’t tell anyone before then. It’s safer.”
“Why is that?” I don’t want to sound stupid, but I have no idea how long a trimester is and why we should wait. I’m going to have to buy a book and do some internet searching later.
“If something happens, it’s easier to not have to go back and explain to everyone.” Her pale eyes scan my face. She must see the confusion. “If I miscarry. It happens to women, and it’s most likely to happen in the first trimester.”
Damn. I’ve got so much to learn.
“Are you going to be okay?” Amelia asks. She’s running her finger along my jaw.
The truth is, I have no idea. What I need is time to wrap my brain around all of this. “I’m afraid of how Will is going to take this.”
“He’ll be okay. Please don’t worry.”
She’s so strong, but also a little naive. At least we’ve got some time to figure out how we’re going to tell him. It’s going to have to be in a very public place, so he doesn’t kill me.
The offices of McLoughlin Contracting are quiet this morning. I’ve come in early because I know Patrick is here. He’s always the first one to come in. Today is no different.
My oldest brother, Patrick, is the most level-headed of the McLoughlin brothers. Braeden and I have always been little hell raisers. Not Patrick; he’s a deep thinker and always makes good decisions. That’s why I came in to talk to him today.
The man is going through his own shit at the moment. His wife left him and his baby daughter a few months ago. Not a single word from her since she took off. It was devastating for all of us. They had what seemed like a perfect marriage. Things aren’t always what they seem. I’m not sure if Patrick will ever get over it.
“Good morning,” I say as I walk into his office. It smells of freshly brewed coffee. His desk is impeccable. Small organized stacks sit there waiting for him to sift through. Nothing is out of order. Unlike mine.
Patrick looks up from his paperwork and gives me a curious grin, the corner of his mouth creeping up the side of his face. “You’re up early.”
Walking toward the seat across from his desk, I sit down and say, “I couldn’t wait to see your smiling face this morning.”
His grin widens to a smile, something you don’t see often on my brother’s face these days. “Right. What’s on your mind?”
You don’t come to Patrick for small talk. “I want to build a house in the new development. There are a couple of lots left, correct?”
“Yes. There are three left. But what’s wrong with your bachelor pad? You love that place.”
He’s right. I’m proud of my place. I’d go there after working long hours and spend most of my evenings fixing it up. I did most of the work myself. “Amelia’s pregnant.”
Usually Patrick can hide his emotions. His face normally doesn’t give anything away. Not today. His lips are pressed tightly together, and his eyes narrow into slits. “Babies are a huge responsibility. Do you think you’re ready for that?”
His situation is clearly playing into his reaction. He’s not angry, more skeptical. Hell, so am I. He and his wife were ready for a baby. They planned for it and look where they are now. “I don’t know if I am, but it’s happening, so I’m going to have to get ready.”
“How did this happen?” His tone isn’t accusatory; it’s curious.
“She has an IUD. We were both shocked.”
“What about your best friend? What’s he got to say about it?”
Cringing inside, I say, “He doesn’t know yet. I don’t think he’s going to take it well. He’s got so much shit going on right now. His wedding is coming up soon. And Amelia wants to wait until the end of her first trimester.”
“When is that?” he asks.
Shaking my head, I say, “I don’t know.”
Patrick laughs at me. “Maybe you should find out.”
It is shameful how much I don’t know. Swiping my hands through my hair, I say, “Cut me some slack. She told me at Brae’s New Year’s Eve party. I’ve had thirty-six hours to sit with this.”
“Sorry, man. I didn’t mean to laugh. This is no joke. You’re the last person I thought I’d hear this news from.”
He’s in shock just as much as I was. Braeden and Scarlette should be next in line to be parents. Certainly not me and Amelia. Not to mention, he knows me. Before Amelia, I was a player with n
o plans for settling down any time soon, if at all. “It’s okay. I get it. Your fuck-up brother knocked someone up. It’s a big surprise.”
“Don’t call yourself a fuck-up. You’re a successful businessman who would do anything for his family. Sure, you were a player, but that doesn’t make you a fuck-up.”
“Thanks.” I love my brothers. My family is everything to me. “I wanted to talk to you because I don’t know what the hell to do. Thought maybe you could give me some insight.”
He leans back in his chair and crosses his arms over his chest. Once again, his face is blank. He’s trying to figure out what the hell to say to me. “Jackson, it’s going to be okay. You’re going to figure it out. Things will go better for you if you support Amelia.”
“You’re right. I will do right by her.” What kind of a fuck up would I be if I abandoned her while she’s pregnant with my baby? That would be unthinkable. And even as I say the words out loud, I doubt my ability to be someone’s father. “What about you? How’s everything going with you?”
There’s pain in his eyes every time we talk about his life, but I have to ask anyway. He’s my brother and one of the most important people in my life. I’ve been worried about him ever since his wife, Maggie, left him. Patrick is the best father to his nine-month-old daughter.
“The new nanny is okay, I guess. She’s flexible with the hours and she moved into the spare room, but there’s something about her I’m not sure about.”
Patrick’s instincts are on point. “Think you should look for someone else?”
“Yeah, maybe. I’ve got my eye on her for now.”
“Okay, good luck.” I don’t bring up Maggie. If he’s got any news he’d like to share with me, he will. I’ve long since given up on trying to influence his decisions. When she left, we all thought Patrick should try to find her, but he won’t do it. I have to respect his decisions, just like he respects mine. “Guess I’ll get to work. I’ve got some calls to make. Thanks for the talk.”