by Ronn Elmore
Chapter Fifteen
Dwayne smiled as he watched Nina through the observation glass.
“You’re the first to use this,” Lafayette said, pride filling his voice. “After sitting in on the first few sessions, we knew we needed an observation room.”
“New Covenant is big-time,” Dwayne teased.
“I’m trying. Dad had such a vision for this church.”
Dwayne turned his gaze back through the mirror at Nina. She was bent over her desk wearing a black two-piece knit suit, with her hair pulled tightly in a braided bun, looking every bit like a schoolteacher. Less than twenty-four hours ago, he’d seen her without makeup looking like a twenty-five-year-old. At the concert, Nina was at her most glamorous, as sophisticated as a cover girl. No wonder she’d been a star. Whatever look she chose appeared to have been achieved effortlessly and at the same time was stunning.
As if she could feel his stare, Nina lifted her head, looked toward the glass, and smiled slightly. Then she returned to the notes on her desk.
“She’s good,” Dwayne commented.
“That, she is.” Lafayette followed Dwayne’s glance, then looked back at his brother. Moments later, Lafayette left his brother alone in the room to observe the session that was about to get under way.
As women slowly began to file into the room, Nina’s posture became more formal. She pulled her chair around from her desk to close the circle the dozen or so had formed, and after joining hands for an opening prayer, the session was under way. They dropped their hands and Nina leaned back in her chair.
Six months had passed since the beginning of their sessions and the women had all gotten to know each other. But over the last month, Nina had attempted something new. Realizing the women’s issues were very different one from the other, she had decided to split the women into two groups: those married and those single.
Tonight Nina was working with the single women. Several were looking for relationships. Many had been divorced. Some had children. Some were in relationships and others were not. Most, however, were seeking serious, meaningful change in their lives. All had professed a deep desire to be viable and vital independent women, while confessing they had some things to work through.
In the last few minutes, just when they expected some opening words of inspiration, Nina posed a bombshell question to each of them: “If you were to marry today, what is your number one piece of emotional, spiritual, or relational ‘excess baggage’ that your mate would be subjected to?”
At first, they all tried to avoid the question, but Nina insisted and finally each offered an answer: “My temper,” “My insecurity,” “My jealousy,” “My lack of confidence,” “My out-of-control mouth,” “My laziness.” Each quickly acknowledged that her trait was regrettable. And, in her own way, each of them pronounced her excess baggage to be “just the way I am and probably always will be.”
Nina followed the first question with another: What kind of man are you looking for? This time, even as Nina insisted, no one could provide a sufficient answer. One woman said, “Well, no one knows exactly.” Then Nina paused, looked each of them (it seemed) in the eyes, and said, “Well, if you don’t know exactly what you’re looking for, how will you exactly know when you find it?”
Suddenly, they were on the defensive.
“Oh, I’ll know,” said Denise.
“Well, then, Denise, just what is it?”
For Denise, it was a precarious question. Most of the men she’d been attracted to had been as successful as she was brilliant, but few of them lasted past six months. Oh, it would be hot and heavy in the beginning and then nothing—no dates, no calls—and then finally if they did by chance cross paths, no words were exchanged.
“I’m looking for someone successful, loving—someone who would make a good father and someone who is godly. I can’t think of anything better, can you?” Denise answered.
“Not really. Except perhaps you might have put the last quality first.”
“With all due respect,” Gloria declared, “there are a lot of godly men who aren’t so ‘godly.’”
“Then they are not godly men,” Nina countered. “There is an old saying: ‘Just because a mouse gets into the cookie jar doesn’t make him a cookie.’ The thing is, people aren’t always who they say they are. That’s why it’s so important that we know enough about who we are and what we want to not just fall for anything. And believe me, I know.”
Nina continued, “When I was younger, I wanted it all. And you know what? Because I didn’t know God the way I know Him now, I suffered. I got sexually transmitted diseases, I had an abortion, became involved with men who cared little for me other than for my looks or body… I had unprotected sex. It’s only by God’s grace I’m not HIV-positive. That’s what you can look forward to when you try to live without God. The world has made its own rules. And those rules have led to trouble: unwanted babies, destroyed marriages, sexual diseases. None of these were in God’s plan.
“We get so blindsided by the things of this world. The ‘ooh, he’s fine’—the big house, the big cars. Not that all these things aren’t nice, but we can’t look to others for the fulfillment of our needs.
“I recall when my young niece—not saved—called me up to have dinner. It turned out she wanted to confide in me that she’d had sex for the first time. I asked if she needed advice about birth control or HIV and she said no. I took a deep breath and asked if she was scared she might be pregnant and she again said no. Perplexed, I asked, ‘So tell me, Gina, did you have some questions you wanted to ask me?’ ‘No,’ she replied. ‘I just wanted to share this with you.’
“Now, mind you, I’d never met nor had I seen this boy, and I don’t believe that they were dating. Furious, I put my finger in her face and said, ‘What you’re telling me is you got screwed, because since I haven’t seen this boy, he can’t have much respect for you, and neither, quite frankly, have I. You’re my niece and I love you, so I want more for you than someone who uses you to get off. So the next time you get screwed, I don’t want to know about it. Tell a friend.’
“I believe that’s how God feels when He sees us giving away the very essence of ourselves to men who haven’t proved they deserve the time of day from us. Many of us think that if we lose ten more pounds, or if we had this outfit or could impress him with our accomplishments, could make him jealous… if we could only get him in the bedroom …”
The room was suddenly abuzz with outspoken agreement. Gloria shouted out, “You better say that, girl.”
“Well, I’ve got a news flash for you,” Nina continued. “Like a male friend of mine once said, ‘You can’t nice your way into a man’s heart.’ Either he likes you or he doesn’t. If he likes you, all you need to be is yourself. If he doesn’t like you, it won’t matter what you wear, how much you make, or how many men are after you.
“God wants us to be the unique women that He made us— Oops, where did the time go?”
“Ain’t it the truth,” said Johnetta. “Seems like I just turned around and I’m forty.”
Nina laughed and then went on. “I want to close with this: Pray about all of your decisions and rejoice in the knowledge that what God gave you uniquely is all you need.”
Silently, Nina hugged each woman as they hugged one another and then departed. It wasn’t until she heard the knock on the door, and Dwayne peeked into her office, that she remembered he had been watching.
“You were great.”
Her heart sank recalling some of the personal disclosures she’d made.
“I just hope I’m making a difference.”
“Trust me, you are. I could see it in their faces.” He took her hand. “Let me take you to dinner.”
Nina smiled for the first time since the session ended. She held so much of what she felt inside. It was good to talk to someone who understood. She reached for her purse, but the sound of Dwayne’s cell phone made her pause.
“Excuse me,” he said. “Hello…
Hello, Beverlyn.”
Nina almost chuckled as she turned from her desk, gathering papers from folders on her credenza. With her back to Dwayne, she wouldn’t have to look into his eyes.
“I won’t be able to do that, Beverlyn,” Dwayne said, making no moves to keep his conversation private. “I have plans tonight.”
When Nina turned around, Dwayne was looking at her. She tried to smile.
“We can meet tomorrow,” he said into the phone.
A few days before, Nina would have been upset with Beverlyn’s timing. Now all she wanted to do was remove herself. She had seen all the signs. Beverlyn was after Dwayne and would try to mow over anything that got in her way. Not that Nina wasn’t up for a good fight, but she was saving it for the cancer. Besides, Dwayne would have to find out for himself whether Beverlyn was what he wanted. Nina was way too removed from that kind of drama to sign up for it now.
“I’m sorry, Beverlyn,” Dwayne said, then hung up abruptly.
“So where would you like to go?” He tucked his cell phone into his pocket.
“I don’t really feel like going out tonight. I still have the session notes, and unless you had questions or something else you wanted to discuss?”
“No,” he said, surprised. “I didn’t plan for this to be a working dinner. I thought we’d go out and have fun.”
“I’ll take a rain check.”
Dwayne’s eyes darted around the office as if he didn’t know what to do next. Finally, he stood and straightened his tie. “Well, then, I’ll get out of here so that you can get home at a decent hour. Good night.”
“Good night, Dwayne.”
When he closed the door, Nina smiled. This had been a good day. She’d made headway with the women and she was pleased that this time she hadn’t allowed Dwayne or Beverlyn to get to her. She was proud of herself.
Beverlyn let the telephone fall gently into its cradle.
I’m sorry, I have plans, Beverlyn.
Those were not words she was used to hearing. She eased back onto her bed and looked at the papers spread across the covers. She’d simply wanted to ask Dwayne about the name of his program before Friday’s production meeting. It wasn’t until she heard his voice that she suggested they get together. Still, she couldn’t believe he’d turned her down.
Beverlyn pushed the papers on her lap aside. Obviously, Dwayne had been preoccupied, but with what… or with whom? She’d called his office first and gotten his service. So where was he? Perhaps visiting a friend or having dinner with a business associate. Or was he with Nina Jordan?
Beverlyn stood and walked to the window of her eighth-floor suite at the Beverly Wilshire. The corner of Wilshire and Rodeo was still full with traffic as shoppers scurried and executives exited the busy intersections, heading home. For a girl from New Orleans, the bright lights of Los Angeles were mesmerizing. If only she could get out of the hotel and be out there—a part of the city that now held her attention.
Beverlyn walked into the living room and stretched across the green brocade couch. She turned on the television and flipped through the channels, revealing a potpourri of seemingly mindless entertainment. She clicked the television back off. It was time for her to find her own place. Her uncle had already moved into a spacious apartment in Westwood, never having been one who enjoyed hotels—not even one as opulent as the Beverly Wilshire.
On the other hand, Beverlyn enjoyed spending time in A-rated hotels throughout the world. Such posh accommodations vividly distinguished her past from her present—reminding her of who she was and at the same time never allowing her to forget who she’d been. Besides, on the church circuit, top hotels were significant. If you were really valued as a speaker, you were offered the best: first-class travel accommodations all the way around. So she’d come to expect the best. She looked around the room, at the antique furniture, gold-plated lamps, and Oriental rugs—and the privilege and wealth they represented. All of it was part of her testimony.
But now Beverlyn felt transient. Maybe if she’d had her own place, Dwayne would have agreed to meet her tonight—if he wasn’t with Nina. She winced at the thought of the two of them together, though they never seemed like a couple to her. At the party, they’d almost acted like business associates.
Not that it was any of her business—except that she would never pursue the man if he was involved with Nina Jordan. Beverlyn laughed aloud and looked in the mirror. Who am I kidding? she thought. If she really wanted the man, it didn’t matter who else was interested. He’s not married, that’s all that counts.
Beverlyn thrived on competition. But if she was going to toss her silk scarf into this ring, she needed to know all the vital statistics. She smiled as a thought came to mind. Quickly, she moved to the phone and was relieved she got him instead of an answering machine.
“Sean, it’s Beverlyn. How are you, honey?”
Chapter Sixteen
Higher Ground’ works for me,” Dwayne said simply as he remembered the way L.W. had bulldozed the beginning of the meeting.
Beverlyn began to protest. “L.W. …”
Dwayne reached over and touched Beverlyn’s hand, stopping her. He knew what was going on and he also knew that he had to be the one to end this battle. “L.W. is right,” Dwayne said, keeping his eyes on him. Ten pairs of stunned eyes turned toward Dwayne, and he knew he’d just gained major points with his team. Beverlyn raised her eyebrows, then shook her head in defeat.
L.W. slapped his hands against the conference table. “Well, then, ‘Higher Ground’ it is,” he said, and stood. “I have another meeting.” He’d made his point and the room was silent until he exited.
As the others filed out, Beverlyn turned to Dwayne. “Before you go, there is something I want to show you. Do you have a moment?”
“Sure.” Dwayne closed his portfolio and stood.
They walked shoulder-to-shoulder down the long hall, past carpeted cubicles and Beverlyn’s office into the room just next door. She stepped into that office and Dwayne followed, scanning the spacious room decorated in rich mahogany complete with oversize desk, matching credenza, and bookcases lined with burgundy binders that seemed to blend in. The adjacent wall of the room was a complete window, offering a breathtaking view of Los Angeles.
“Nice office,” he said.
“Think you could get comfortable here?”
He looked at her in disbelief.
“This is your office,” Beverlyn said.
“Beverlyn, I have an office. I don’t need another.”
“Yes, you do.” Beverlyn walked toward the windows. “Dwayne, once this show gets going, there’s no telling what demands are going to be made on you. We have to be ready.”
“Ready for what, Beverlyn? I’m simply going to be meeting with the production team once a week …”
“Well, you may need to interview potential guests or handle business that we haven’t even thought of.”
“There are plenty of conference rooms …”
“Dwayne, it’s only natural that you should have an office here, even if you choose not to use it. However, you are important to us, and should you choose to use it, I just want to make you comfortable.”
Dwayne looked at Beverlyn and then moved his eyes away. Was she making a good point? he asked himself. The office was very nice. Still, he didn’t want to be swallowed up by Beverlyn Boudreaux Ministries. He didn’t like that she seemed to be giving too much, almost as if she were bartering for his affection or entrapping him. Besides, he didn’t want to be anywhere near L.W. Yet what she was saying made sense. He looked back at Beverlyn and forced a smile. “You have a very good point. I was just concerned about wasting the space …”
“Dwayne, there is nothing that’s a waste when it comes to you. We’re committed to making the show successful and you a star in the process.” She paused and stepped closer to him. Dwayne wondered why he hadn’t noticed in all the weeks they’d been together just how tall Beverlyn was. She only had to tilt her
head slightly to look him directly in the eye.
He coughed lightly and stepped back, putting space between them.
“You’re an asset,” she argued persuasively. “Even if you don’t realize it. I know who you are and what you’re going to be.”
The words came out before she could stop them, and instantaneously, she wanted to take them back. She had said too much.
Her words made him take another step backward. They were Beverlyn’s eyes but Yvette’s words. Silent seconds passed before he picked up his briefcase. “Beverlyn, thanks. Listen, I’ve got to run. I will talk to you later.”
Dwayne walked past her, moving swiftly through the halls—his eyes trained on what was directly in front of him—and only when he entered the elevator did he breathe. It was uncanny the way Beverlyn’s words reminded him of Yvette: I know who you are and what you’re going to be.
Beverlyn fell back into the plush chair behind her massive desk and put her head in her hands. She felt cheap, like she had been trying to buy him when all she really wanted him to see was how good a team they made together… and to draw him closer in a way that was comfortable to her.
But Dwayne Grandison was not like those before him who’d been impressed by the generosity that masked her desire for true affection. She wondered, had she come on too strong? Oh, well, she thought, if he wasn’t God’s desire for her, then she didn’t want him. Then again—she stood and walked to the window—he was perfect for her. But how, she wondered, would she get him to see it?
The weeks moved forward at a furious pace. Sessions with Nina, production meetings with Beverlyn, and maintaining his practice packed the hours of Dwayne’s days. Some of his clients had even gotten caught up in the excitement.
“I read in the Hollywood Forecast about your new talk show,” Jasmine Charles gushed at one of her sessions.