by Renee White
Feeling like shit for lying to some good people, loyal people, some were even friends, and with the hangover to contend with on top of all that, I looked all over town for Kylie.
Eventually there was only one more place to look, a place I’d avoided thinking about but where I’d known she’d be all along. It was just that I couldn’t look Roger Clark in the eye. The man must have thought I was a complete arsehole. I’d been sat in his front room with Kylie one night and the next day his daughter turns up distraught, again because of me. That was after upsetting her in Paris. I think if I’d have been Roger Clark I would’ve punched me in the throat as soon as I landed on his doorstep.
Instead Roger looked at me with such reproach, such disappointment, that I wished he’d gone for violence instead. It would have hurt less.
“I can’t let you in to see her, Damien,” he said, shaking his head sadly. “She’s my daughter and I can’t allow anyone to hurt her. Not anymore.”
Damn if that didn’t bring a lump to my throat. I could respect that. This quiet, unassuming man made me feel ashamed. I thought I’d grown since Stella, but Kylie’s father had me beat. He, I realized was what being a real man was all about.
“Please, Roger,” I said, surprised to hear the catch in my voice. “I know I’ve fu—, messed everything up. I know I’ve been a jerk, and I know I’ve upset your daughter again and again.”
It was when I started to cry that Roger looked uncomfortable. He glanced up and down the street and then sighed. “Come in,” he muttered, shaking his head. “You’re making a scene.”
He led me through into the kitchen and I saw him glance nervously up the stairs as we passed.
“I was such an idiot,” I said as I sat at Roger’s kitchen table while he made tea. “I let my own jealousies and insecurities cloud my judgment.” I told Roger about the newspaper article and how I’d gone ballistic. “I should have known Kylie wouldn’t have done it. I should have trusted her,” I lamented.
Roger sat opposite me and sipped tea. He nodded. “Yes, you should have. She was here all that night, Damien,” he said quietly. “Kylie was in this house. We talked after you left; we had a nightcap and she went up to bed. She was excited about the movie, Damien. Kylie was keen to do a good job for you. She wants … wanted to please you.”
“It was Jenny,” I said. “All of it. Kylie told you about the spider scene in the movie?” Roger nodded but said nothing. “Well that was my assistant’s idea. Jenny put her up to it.”
“Is that the same woman who Kylie saw half naked in your house at midday yesterday?” Roger questioned with an admonishing look.
I hung my head. “I know it looked bad,” I mumbled. “But Alexandra took her skirt off and unbuttoned her blouse when she heard Kylie at the door. She wanted Kylie to think something was going on. I swear to you, Roger; on my mother’s grave I swear nothing happened. Nothing.”
I went on, deciding I had nothing to lose except my dignity, and what was that worth next to losing Kylie?
I told Roger about how I’d never known my parents, about how I’d been brought up on a crap estate in London’s east end by my mother’s sister – a diamond of a woman who worked hard and did her best for me and her own three kids.
“I’m not going all Walt Disney on you, Roger,” I said as he made me a second cup of tea. I could have murdered for a fag right then, but I’d given up the cigarettes and doubted Roger would have wanted me to stink up his house anyway. I’d dropped the Hugh Grant rounded vowels by then and continued with, “It ain’t a sob story I’m giving you; I’m trying to explain how it is for me. I’ve never felt more at home with anyone in my life the way I do with Kylie.”
“Damien, please …” Roger began, seemingly embarrassed by me spilling my guts as though this was the Montel show.
“No, Roger,” I insisted, “I know I’ve got a lot to learn, but if you’ll help me I can get it together and make Kylie happy. If we can set aside our differences, put what’s gone on already behind us I can learn from you. I just need the chance. Hell, Roger, I love her.”
It all hung in the balance. I tried to read Roger’s face but all I saw was a nice bloke drinking tea. He looked at me and sighed.
“You know, Damien,” he began, “that was a hell of a story.” Roger paused, his mind working. “But I’m a man who has to think of his daughter. I have to think about what’s best for Kylie.”
My heart sank into my shoes. I’d blown it. I’d spilled my guts for nothing. All of it, the baring of my fucking soul hadn’t been enough.
OK, I could accept it. Roger was right after all. He did have a responsibility to Kylie. Why the hell would he trust me with her fragile heart?
“… I’ll tell you something, though; I admire your courage for coming here. I don’t know if I’d have been able to face a father under these circumstances.” Roger paused again and looked me in the eye. He even reached across the table and took my hand. “I’m going to give you a chance, Damien,” he said quietly. “I’ll go get her and try to get her to talk to you. I’ll tell her she’s got to talk to you. That’s all I can do right now. If she comes down, and that’s a big if, just because I’m her dad doesn’t mean she’ll listen, but if she does come down, well then it’s up to you to convince her.”
8
My dad turned from the window. “It’s him,” he said.
It welled up inside me: Love for Damien; disappointment, bitter and corrosive because he’d believed a stupid tabloid article instead of me; fear that he’d convince me to try again.
I didn’t know if I could take any more.
“Don’t let him in, dad.” I went quickly to the stairs; I needed to be in my room where I felt safe, where I couldn’t see Damien or hear his voice or smell his familiar scent. “I don’t want to see him.”
At first I heard a mumble of voices at the door. Then, although I’d virtually begged my father not to let him in, I heard them move into the house. I felt a rush of panic when I thought that Damien was coming upstairs – What was my father thinking! But then I heard the rumble of their voices coming from the kitchen.
They were down there forever. I wondered what Damien was saying that took so long. I imagined them down there under different circumstances, the two men I loved – my dad for being such a great father and Damien because I couldn’t help loving him. A little fantasy rolled through my head, one where Damien and my dad were downstairs arguing good-naturedly about soccer. I knew Damien would insist that the game he followed was called football, since the players weren’t allowed to handle the ball, and that he’d be trying to convert my dad into supporting the same team that Damien had watched since he was a kid – West Ham. I could see my dad gently teasing Damien, and Damien, being the man he is, wouldn’t recognize that he was having his leg pulled. He’d get all serious and a little sniffy, and it would be up to me to make some smartass comment that got everybody laughing.
I sighed – Why couldn’t it just be like that?
The knock at my bedroom door shocked me almost right out of my skin.
“Hey,” my dad said as his head appeared.
“Has he gone?” I asked, not knowing which answer I wanted to hear.
My heart leapt when dad shook his head. “No. He wants to talk to you, but he said he’d leave if you said get lost.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
My father shook his head again. “I can’t answer that, Kylie. This is none of my business. What goes on between you two is between the two of you. You’re a grown woman.”
I loved him for that, for not influencing me either way. He wouldn’t poison me against Damien, he’d let me decide, but I knew I could count on his support no matter what came out of it.
Damien looked worn out when I saw him sitting at the table, a cup of tea in his hands. His face brightened when he saw me; he half-stood and then froze, not knowing whether to offer me an embrace or to keep away.
The distance option was the one I preferred.
>
“I love you, Kylie,” he said. Damien sat down and gave a little shrug. “It’s that simple,” he added. “Alexandra’s fired. She was the one responsible for all this. She’s been friendly with Jenny; she knew you were scared and deliberately set you up. That thing yesterday, when I was drunk and answered the door in my underwear … I’d been upstairs changing, Kylie. I was so fucking angry when you came banging on the door that I didn’t bother getting dressed.”
I wanted to believe him but there was the little detail of Alexandra half-naked to deal with. But he explained that too, and I was inclined to believe him, it fitted with what I imagined that woman to be capable of. After all, hadn’t she deliberately impersonated me and been responsible for that article in the paper?
Damien turned his handsome face towards me. “I’ve been a complete idiot, again. I shouldn’t have believed it, Kylie. Not about you. I’m sorry, I can’t describe how fucking sorry I am.”
He told me he loved me – that was the second time he’d said it – and that if I went back to him he’d do his damndest to never hurt me again.
“Fuck the contract, Kylie,” Damien continued. “Forget it. I don’t just want you sexually, I want the whole deal. I want all of you, and I want you to have all of me. Nobody else. Not now, not ever.”
And then he said it again: “I love you.”
My heart cracked open when I heard the sincerity in his voice.
I smiled. “I love you, too, I said.” And then I went to him.
Dad came in, saw us kissing, and said, “I just remembered I have to go to the mall. See you in a couple of hours.” He paused with his car keys in his hand. “Is Damien staying for dinner, Kylie?”
I looked at Damien, who smiled and nodded, saying, “If that’s all right?”
My face told my father that we’d have a guest at the table that night. He nodded and smiled at me.
“Thank you, dad,” I said, my voice choked with emotion. “I love you.”
“And me you, sweetheart,” he replied as he left the kitchen.
Damien glanced at me. I could swear he actually looked shy.
“I’m so sorry,” he apologized again.
Taking his hand I replied softly, “Come on.”
He followed me upstairs to my bedroom. Once inside I closed the door. Damien stood with his back to the door.
“This is weird,” he said, his eyes taking in the detail of my bedroom. “I’ve never felt this awkward before. It’s like …” His hands flapped at his sides. “Bloody hell, Kylie, I’m actually worried about making a move. What the hell is happening to me?”
“You don’t seem as gung-ho as you usually do, Damien,” I teased with a grin and a sideways tilt of my head. “Are you worried ‘cause we’re in my dad’s house?”
Damien nodded, his eyes widening. “Yeah, maybe a little bit.”
“Would it bother you if I asked you to fuck me?” I replied with a whisper. I watched Damien’s face as I unbuttoned my jeans. “Because that’s what I want right now. I want your big cock, Damien. I want your mouth and your fingers and that gorgeous fucking cock.”
I felt the warmth flood between my legs while the breath caught in my throat from the sudden, urgent need to be loved by Damien Taylor. It was my turn now, my turn to be boss.
“You’re beautiful,” Damien said, sending the same message with his eyes.
I felt beautiful under that intense gaze as I stripped out of my jeans and pulled the tee-shirt over my head. When I reached back to unfasten my bra and felt his stare on my bare breasts it felt like it was the first time I’d ever let him see me naked. Things were so different now. I still felt the same bubbling yearning for Damien to be inside me; I was still oiling with lust between my legs; I still wanted his hands to roam over my body and for his fingers to find that place inside me that made me scream with pleasure, but now he’d declared his love our connection went so much deeper than just being together physically.
Listening to Damien downstairs had shown me how fragile and vulnerable he could be. He had the tough, macho image but wasn’t afraid to bare his soul to me. He trusted me enough to hand me his heart, and for me to carry that dependence was a responsibility I didn’t take lightly.
When I turned my back to Damien I peeled my underwear down my legs, deliberately bending at the waist to reveal the oyster of my sex to him. I knew he could see my pussy pouting between my thighs like that, and I hoped the sight of me so lewdly exposed would inflame him with overwhelming lust.
I heard him gasp a moment before his hands grabbed my hips.
“Oh!” I cried, startled by my lover’s quick, silent approach.
“Kneel on the bed,” Damien growled, his confidence apparently renewed. “Spread your legs and push your hips up.”
I complied, resting straight-armed on my bed with my ass thrust upwards. God, I felt so bare like that, just like our first time in Paris. I knew he could see everything like that, all of me.
“What are you going to do?” I murmured when I felt his fingers splay the cheeks of my ass.
He didn’t speak. I just felt a warm waft of his breath across the moist part of me before his tongue wriggled and squirmed into my pussy.
I gasped as he explored my body with his tongue, groaning when he dabbed at the other dark and intimate place. To feel him there shocked me, but sent a delicious shiver of the taboo through me at the same time.
Damien’s palm swatted down hard on my butt and I yelped with surprise. Twice more I felt the sting of his hand on my ass; I’d never been spanked before and I decided I liked it.
Damien pushed my rump and sent me sprawling headlong onto the bed before he climbed up next to me with his pants undone and the length of him, so urgent and ready in his fist.
“Suck it,” he growled.
Rolling onto my side I got him there quickly with my mouth and my hands. The stuff pumped out of him while Damien knelt on my bed and grunted his release.
Ignoring the slide of Damien’s outpouring over my breasts, chest and stomach, I lay on my back. “Get me there, too,” I squealed. “Lick me, Damien. I need to cum. Please, baby.”
I came twice on my lover’s face before he almost ripped off his clothes and eased his hard body over mine, his tight butt and legs between my widespread thighs. I expected him to go at me like a bull, but Damien grew suddenly tender, his eyes filled with love for me.
We began slowly, moving together as we kissed and sighed and looked at each other, our eyes speaking.
My climax bubbled for ages, simmering gently while I rode the waves of pleasure and coaxed my lover towards his release with my body.
“This is the best ever,” Damien mumbled, his eyes closed tight. He held himself above me while we rocked together. “What have you done to me, Kylie?” he gasped. “Never,” he grunted. “It’s never been this good. Not even with Stella …”
Damien groaned again, twisting his neck as he grimaced with the effort of holding back. “I never want this to end, Kylie. Not ever. I want to stay here, like this, with you.”
Then he began to thrust and jab, his girth stretching me, filling me until I thought he had no more to offer, and then he’d stab at me again and I felt my body taking more of his length.
“Damien,” I gasped. “We can be together. We can do this forever. I’m cumming, Damien,” I groaned.
“Me too,” he hissed. I felt his body tense while he grunted and moaned, and then he pulsed inside me, flooding me with warmth as my arms and legs curled around him so I could hold him tight and never let go.
“I love you,” he sighed as we came together.
I knew then that that the movie would be great and I’d beat my sister, but most of all I knew, this time, I had Damien.
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