by Helen Lacey
“If that’s what you want...you should,” he said, though the words felt like rocks in his mouth. The thought of Evie with another man made it actually hurt behind his ribs. But he was right to say it—right to get the words out between them. He was leaving in two weeks and in no shape to offer her anything other than sex. And Evie deserved way more than that. As much as part of him wanted her more than he could remember wanting anything in his life. “Even an immature, judgmental ass like me can see that.”
He turned the car into the driveway and braked outside the studio.
She twisted in her seat when the car came to a halt. “I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to come across all bossy and patronizing.”
Scott smiled and killed the engine. “Sure you did.”
She smiled back. “Well, maybe. But I shouldn’t have. I sometimes forget that I don’t have all the answers. You came here for your sister’s wedding, not lectures from someone who wouldn’t have a clue what it must be like to put your life on the line every day.”
“Apology accepted,” he said. “Though I probably deserved it.”
“Perhaps a little,” she said, and smiled. “And about before...what I said about Trevor. I’m not complaining...not really...it’s only that sometimes,” she said, suddenly seeming incredibly young and vulnerable. “I feel like I’m stuck in this role of being a certain kind of person. A certain kind of woman. And as that woman I always do what’s expected, what’s the right thing. I get this sense that being...I don’t know...suffocated almost...as if I’ve suffocated myself by being who I am. I’ve built this orderly, safe life which at times feels like a jail cell.”
Scott’s heart thundered beneath his ribs. “And what, Evie? You want to break out?”
She shrugged a little. “I think about it. I think what it might be like to be...I don’t know...different.”
Heat filled the space between them, flicking into life, energizing the air with its tiny atoms. Even in the dim light Scott could see the brightness of her eyes, the way her lips parted slightly, as though she was about to say something, as though she wanted to...to... He shook the feeling off, knowing he was nuts to keep thinking about her in that way. But he wanted to kiss her so much. He wanted to feel the skin on her shoulders beneath his hands, he wanted to taste the delicate spot behind her ear and then go lower, past her throat and lower still, to breasts he knew, without ever having touched them, ever having had them pressed naked against him, were glorious and round and sensitive and made for his hands and mouth. He wanted to kiss her ribs, her belly, her thighs... He want to bury his mind, his body, in the softness of her skin. He was more aroused than he could ever remember being in his life, and she hadn’t even touched him!
“You better make a run for it,” he said, more groan than words.
She obviously heard him, but remained where she was, drawing in breath. “I should, yes.”
Scott inhaled deeply and the scent of her ripped through his blood. If he moved a few inches she would be in his arms. And she wouldn’t resist—he felt that with mind-blowing certainty. “Last chance.”
She turned, easing toward him. Scott raised one hand and touched her cheek. He didn’t imagine the way her lips parted, or the way her tongue rested on her white teeth. The need to kiss her, possess her surged across his skin. And he didn’t have to wait. She came willingly, moving her body across the space dividing them and pressed her mouth to his. Scott responded instantly, taking her lips in a searing kiss that rocked him to the very core. His hands moved to her shoulders and he molded the delicate bones beneath his palms. The kiss went on, drugging, hot, kicking at his libido like a jackhammer. She moaned low in her throat as he cupped the underswell of her breast. Heat radiated through the T-shirt she wore and Scott felt her nipple peak against his thumb.
I haven’t made out in a car since I was a teenager.
And I shouldn’t be doing it with a woman like Evie.
The realization was like a bucket of cold water.
“Evie,” he said hoarsely. “We should stop. This isn’t the place—”
She wrenched free as he spoke. “You’re right,” she said, and pulled herself into a sitting position. She grabbed the door handle and pushed herself out of the car. He watched her race toward the house, her incredible hips swinging in her jeans. Within seconds she’d opened the front door and disappeared into the house. He stayed where he was, willing his body to play fair and return to normal.
It took a while. And it gave him a chance to think. The struggle to ignore his feelings for Evie was getting more and more difficult.
It’s getting damn well impossible.
He didn’t want them. Or need them. Feelings only blurred his focus. And lack of focus in his line of work could prove deadly. He’d seen evidence of that firsthand. Mike had lost his edge. Scott wasn’t about to make the same mistake. Every instinct he had told him to back off from Evie. He couldn’t do serious, and she deserved better.
I will not get involved.
And I really should have moved to a hotel.
* * *
Evie canceled her usual Thursday night dinner for her guests. The Kellers had left that morning and the Manning sisters were visiting a niece in Bellandale and wouldn’t be back until late. She had new guests arriving the following day and needed to get the Kellers’ room cleaned and prepared.
Although nothing helped stop her thinking about Scott.
I would have made love with him last night.
No doubt about it. She would have thrown off every part of herself that she’d trained to do the right thing, the sensible thing, and gone to wherever he might have taken her.
Her body screamed for the kind of release she sensed instinctively he would give her. Sex hadn’t seemed so important for the longest time. And she wondered why, beyond his obvious physical appeal, that it was Scott who’d pulled her from her sexless haze. After so long, after Gordon...it didn’t make sense. She wasn’t the casual sex type. Making love had always been exactly that. And with her husband she’d been in the security of a loving relationship. She’d met and fallen in love with Gordon in high school, and exploring her sexuality with him had been safe.
But this feeling she had for Scott...it was all risk.
In the car she’d felt the burn of his possession like a brand on her skin. His kisses drove her wild. His touch sent her body to another place. And knowing that it was mutual, knowing that he’d been as turned on as she’d been, made the moment all the more potent.
Evie also knew she had to resist whatever feelings were running riot inside her.
Baring all her thoughts and feelings about her son wasn’t exactly helping her cause, either. She never bared her soul. She never really let anyone in. At least, not since Gordon.
But Scott had her running on both fronts—her body and her heart. She just wasn’t sure which one would give out first.
* * *
On Friday evening Evie ditched her regular class and headed for the local elementary school to watch her brother’s three youngest children perform in the annual Christmas play. She hadn’t seen Scott much at all over the past couple of days. She’d kept herself busy in her studio or with her guests. She often heard Scott shooting hoops with Trevor, and her son had even taken up running with Scott for the past couple of mornings.
She wasn’t sure what Scott did with himself during the day and didn’t have the courage to ask. And he usually returned to Dunn Inn well after dinner had been served and retired straight to his room. Their earlier routine of a late coffee and conversation had disappeared as quickly as it had begun.
Trevor had declined to attend the concert and she let her son have his way. He was spending the night at his best friend’s house, where no doubt the boys would be playing video games until the small hours of the morning.
A speci
al stage and seating had been set up on the sports field, and Evie weaved her way through the crowds, looking for her brother and Callie. Instead, she found Scott.
Callie and Noah were seated beside him and for a few extraordinary seconds he held her complete attention. The dip in her belly, the way her heart raced...what had once been long forgotten and unfamiliar feelings were now all too familiar.
Feelings she had no idea what to do with.
Evie hung back and walked around the rear of the seating area. The music started and a group of children dressed in variations of red and green elf costumes came onto the stage and broke into delightful versions of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” and “Frosty the Snowman.” The singing made her smile, especially when she spotted her eight-year-old nephew, Jamie, in the exuberant group. When the song changed to “Jingle Bells” several younger children joined the choir onstage and Noah’s twins were among them. She looked back toward her brother. He and Callie were watching the kids with obvious pride and enjoyment. And there was a vacant seat beside them.
“Can we talk?”
She stilled. Scott was directly behind her. So close she felt the warmth coming off his skin. Evie didn’t turn around. “Sure,” she said in a wobbly voice. “Later. At home.”
“Now, Evie,” he insisted.
The music volume rose and she tilted back a little and collided with his chest. It would have been easier to refuse him. Better even. But she didn’t. “Okay,” she said, and stepped away.
Evie knew the school grounds well. She’d attended as a youngster, as had her son, and she still volunteered at the canteen once a week. She walked through the mill of people hanging behind the seating and headed for the old library building. The sound of children singing faded substantially once she rounded the corner with Scott in her wake. It was quiet and private and had some light courtesy of an open window from a nearby classroom. Evie turned by the steps and thrust her hands to her hips.
“So...what?”
He looked her up and down. “I’m moving out.”
No great surprise. She’d sensed it from his conspicuous absence over the past couple of days.
“When?”
“Tomorrow.”
So soon. It took Evie about two seconds to work out that she didn’t want Scott to go anywhere. “Trevor will be disappointed.” Trevor? She wondered why she’d said that. Wondered where it came from. Guilt trips weren’t her scene. She shrugged casually. “I mean, he’ll be disappointed you won’t be around to help improve his basketball technique.”
“And you?”
Evie stepped back and leaned against the steel stair rail. “I don’t...I don’t have any claim on you.”
He moved forward. The jeans and black T-shirt he wore did little to disguise his infinite attributes, and her mouth turned dry. “I’m not so sure about that, Evie,” he said as he reached for her and she melted against him. “Right now, at this moment...I’d say you’ve got more claim than anyone else.”
It was a highly provocative thing to say and Evie felt the meaning through to her bones. She also felt him... His strong, lean body and wide shoulders. With his arms around her Evie had a faraway, drifting thought that she’d never felt so safe in all her life.
Scott kissed her thoroughly and she kissed him right back. Evie curved her hands over his shoulders as he pulled her close and the kissing continued. So did the soft stroke of his fingertips up and down her spine. She felt the heat of his touch through the fabric of her black dress and moaned low in her throat. Her fingers moved over his shoulders, drawing them closer, and Scott curved a hand down her hip and lower. When his fingertips touched her thigh and drew her skirt higher, Evie gasped against his mouth.
There was a vague sound of carols in the background and the echo of laughter and applause. Thankfully, it pulled her from the seductive trance long enough to come to her senses. She pulled back and drew in a shuddering breath. “Stop...please.”
Scott released her and she stepped back, breathing hard. He didn’t look any better off.
“I’m sorry,” he said, and crossed his arms tightly. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
They both shouldn’t have. Out in the open, where they could be seen. At a school, no less. She wished Sensible Evie would come back. Before she had a chance to say anything, he turned on his heel and walked off, disappearing into the darkness.
She should have stayed and watched the rest of the performance, should have shared the small piece of Christmas spirit with her family. But Evie was in no mood to put on fake smiles and pretend she had it all together. Fifteen minutes later she was home and upstairs, pacing the space between the sitting room and small kitchenette. She flicked on a table lamp and sat on the sofa for a while, shifting position every time she heard a car pass outside. Half an hour had inched by when she finally heard the distinctive sound of Scott’s motorcycle pulling up in the driveway, and her heart almost landed in her throat. She heard the downstairs door open, heard the steady thud of his feet on the stairs as he climbed them.
He came through the doorway and made a jerky stop. He looked her up and down, taking in the short dress and low heels, and she watched as he swallowed hard. An uneasy silence fell between them. And for the first time in the longest time, Evie knew exactly what she wanted. And who. Even if it was only for one night. She drew in a deep breath and spoke.
“Part of me wishes I could stop wanting you,” she admitted, and bit down on her lip. “Part of me wishes you’d never come here.”
He didn’t move. “And the other part?”
Evie shrugged, half hopeless, half confused. “I’ve done the right thing all my life. I’ve always put everyone else’s needs first. I’ve never jumped into anything without thinking about it. And as a woman, I haven’t let myself really feel anything for such a long time.” Another breath came out. “Ten years,” she said on a sigh. “I haven’t...I haven’t...well, since my husband died...there’s not been anyone else.”
He didn’t say a word. He simply stared at her with such hot, blistering intensity it was as though for that moment, they were the only two people on the planet. Evie met his look head-on and felt the vibration of him directly though to her bones, and deeper, to that place where she never imagined she’d feel anything again after her husband died.
Finally, he spoke. “What do you want to happen between us, Evie?”
She drew in a long breath. “I want...I want you to make love to me.”
Chapter Eight
Scott knew he had to keep his head. This wasn’t a one-night-stand kind of woman. This was Evie. And as much as he ached for her, he suspected that once they became lovers, leaving her would be like losing a limb.
“You know that making love will complicate things,” he said quietly. “Sex always complicates things.”
“I know,” she admitted. “And I don’t expect promises or declarations of any kind. We’re two very different people with different lives. But this thing between us is stronger than I am.”
It was stronger than him, too. He’d spent the past week in a haze, knowing he probably shouldn’t want her, knowing it would only ever be temporary. But he longed for Evie in ways he’d never longed for any woman before.
“What if sex turns into something else...something more?”
She moved her legs. “It won’t. We’ll make sure it won’t. Look, I’m not denying that I like you. I do. But we both know anything serious isn’t viable.”
It sounded like every man’s dream. Sex with a beautiful woman and no strings attached. Only, his dreams suddenly felt as if they were shifting, morphing into something he couldn’t quite figure. “So, you want to have an affair?” It sounded old-fashioned, put like that. But he wasn’t sure what to call it.
She nodded. “Yes. For as long as it lasts,” she said.
For as long as you are here. That’s what she meant. “And no commitment?”
“That’s right.” Her eyes suddenly looked huge in her face. “I don’t want you to think I’m looking for... Well, the other night I said some things about my son, about how I should have remarried. This isn’t about that,” she said pointedly. “I’ve no illusions, Scott, and you’ve made it pretty clear you’re not in any kind of position to be anyone’s...husband. And I’m not in a position to believe in fairy tales. This is what it is and I’m okay with that.”
Scott’s heartbeat was erratic. He wanted her so much. And here she is, asking me to make love to her. But she hadn’t been with anyone for ten years. To be her first lover since her husband had died suddenly seemed a huge responsibility. A big deal. And certainly worthy of more than just an affair. But to refuse her? When his body, his mind, was screaming to possess every part of the woman she was.
I could walk away right now...I could walk away and not know how it feels to touch her and love her and wake up beside her in the morning.
But he didn’t walk.
“Evie,” he said softly. “Come here.”
By the time she reached him Scott’s hands were burning to touch her. The simple black dress she wore was sleeveless and her shoulders were enticingly smooth, her arms supple and sun kissed. But it was her face that held him captive. As it had from the first moment they’d met. He’d never met anyone with lips like hers. Or such wide green eyes and provocative slanting brows.
“You’re staring at me,” she said when they stood no more than a foot apart.
“I can’t help it,” he admitted, and looked at her hair hanging loose down her back. He reached out and twirled a few strands between his fingers. “You have the most amazing hair.”
She half smiled. “My one beauty.”
“Hardly,” he said, and continued to play with her curls.
He touched the back of her neck and drew her closer. Finally, he felt her against him, felt the soft curves of her hips and breasts against his stomach and chest. Scott looked down into her face and titled her head backward. He heard her suck in a shallow breath, felt the slight tremble of her body and instinctively drew his arm around her, settling his hand at her waist. He took his time to kiss her, knowing how her mouth would taste, but wanting to savor the feeling. Evie’s hands came to his shoulders and she clung to him as their lips met. She groaned low in her throat, half resistance, half insistence, and he deepened the kiss, tracing the outline of her mouth with his tongue. When her tongue touched his Scott almost jumped out of his skin.