by Edward Lee
And goin’ down on her snatch were just the appetizer! Purdy soon after, he’d git ta the main course: his John Thursday sunk deep inta her joyhole!
So the Chief stuck his big tongue right out’n—yes sir!—he buried it inta her poon like a weasel stickin’its head into a snakehole, he did, and he got ta lappin’ away like a regler muff-diver, fer shore, and Agent Majora were startin’ ta come right off, she were, and the Chief hisself, he were diggin’ it too, pleasurin’ so fine-lookin’ a gal, and he just got ta lickin’ up fierce on the adorable l’il clit, givin’ her the velvet buzzsaw, yes sir, when—
The hail!
Alls of a sudden a stank rose like ta kick him in the snoot, it did, and then just as quick he felt somethin’ hot’n snotty on his tongue, and when he pulled his face away, he took a hard hock’n watched a splat’a this stuff that looked like melted Jack Cheese hit the floor, and then he were gaggin’ and backin’ up on his knees, and he grabbed that wastecan by the desk ‘cos, come ta think of it, he’d swallered some’a that cheese, and—
Chief Kinion threw up so hard’n heavy inta the wastecan that he thought his stomach might come up ta boot, and he damn near filled that wastecan, he did! And then he throwed up some more when he took a glance up at her box’n saw a whole lot more’a this cheesy stuff drippin’ out. And then he realized ‘zactly what that stuff were!
Gonococcal pus . . .
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Edward Lee has authored close to 50 books in the field of horror; he specializes in hardcore fare. His most recent novels are LUCIFER’S LOTTERY and the Lovecraftian THE HAUNTER OF THE THRESHOLD. His movie HEADER was released on DVD by Synapse Film in June, 2009. Lee lives in Largo, Florida.
ALSO FROM
You’ve seen Cannibal Holocaust. You’ve seen Salo. You’ve seen Nekromantik. You ain’t seen shit!
Brain Cheese Buffet collects nine of Lee’s most sought after tales of violence and body fluids. Featuring the Stoker nominated “Mr. Torso,” the legendary gross-out piece “The Dritiphilist,” the notorious “The McCrath Model SS40-C, Series S,” and six more stories to test your gag reflex.
AVAILABLE FROM AMAZON.COM
“Squid Pulp Blues” Jordan Krall - In these three bizarro-noir novellas, the reader is thrown into a world of murderers, drugs made from squid parts, deformed gun-toting veterans, and a mischievous apocalyptic donkey.
“. . . with SQUID PULP BLUES, [Krall] created a wholly unique terrascape of Ibsen-like naturalism and morbidity; an extravaganza of white-trash urban/noir horror.”
- Edward Lee
“Apeshit” Carlton Mellick III - Friday the 13th meets
Visitor Q. Six hipster teens go to a cabin in the woods inhab
ited by a deformed killer. An incredibly fucked-up parody
of B-horror movies with a bizarro slant
“The new gold standard in unstoppable fetus-fucking kill
freakomania . . . Genuine all-meat hardcore horror meets
unadulterated Bizarro brainwarp strangeness. The results
are beyond jaw-dropping, and fill me with pure, un
forgivable joy.” - John Skipp
“Super Fetus” Adam Pepper - Try to abort this fetus and he’ll kick your ass!
“The story of a self-aware fetus whose morally bankrupt mother is desperately trying to abort him. This darkly humorous novella will surely appall and upset a sizable percentage of people who read it... In-your-face, allegorical social commentary.”
- BarnesandNoble.com
“Fistful of Feet” Jordan Krall - A bizarro tribute to Spaghetti westerns, Featuring Cthulhu-worshipping Indians, a woman with four feet, a Giallo-esque serial killer, a crazed gunman who is obsessed with sucking on candy, Syphilis-ridden mutants, ass juice, burping pistols, sexually transmitted tattoos, and a house devoted to the freakiest fetishes.
“Krall has quite a flair for outrage as an art form.”
- Edward Lee
Table of Contents
Ever Nat.........................................................5
The Salt-Diviner............................................55
The Refrigerator Full of Sperm....................87