Her words literally took the air from my lungs. She was excited because of Cherish. She wasn’t excited that I called, or excited that I had news. No. She was excited because the little bitch was taking the one thing from me that I had left. My mother. It was like she was trying to turn everyone against me. I may be in New York, but I do live on the same fucking planet.
“Mom, that’s great,” I bit out between clinched teeth.
She sighed. “You don’t sound so happy about it. I know that you and Cherish have your problems, but she is going to be your sister in law sometime soon.”
Sister in law? I bit my lip until blood welled. “Sister in law,” I seethed through the phone. “You cannot be fucking serious. The baby probably isn’t even his, mom. Have you stopped to think why in the fuck she would come to him four months after getting pregnant? She was fucking showing mother. She wasn’t newly pregnant. Not like m…not like other moms are when they tell their husbands or boyfriends. I am telling you this now, she is fucking lying.”
I was thankful that she hadn’t caught my slip in the middle of my tirade. That would have been a lot worse, because then she would be throwed for another loop. If she wanted to be a traitor and get buddy-buddy with Cherish, then that was her prerogative. But I wouldn’t be back home if that happened. Hell to the no, I was not going to put myself through that fucking torture. Never in a million years.
“I know the way she told Brad is not conventional, but at least she told him. She even said the reason she hadn’t was because she wanted to make sure the baby was ok. With what happened last time, I get where she’s coming from. Claire, why are you so mad? I know you can’t stand her, but sweetheart, she is having Brad’s baby. The sooner you accept that, the better.” She ended on a frustrated sigh.
I growled. “You know why I hate that bitch. You. Fucking. Know. Why. But if you can’t see that through your new role as a grandmother, then maybe you need to go play house with your soon to be daughter in law some more. You are my mother, can you not see the only reason she wants you in that room is to take another stab at me. You are my fucking mother! The only delivery room you’re supposed to be in, is mine! This is bullshit, good bye!” I yelled hanging up the phone, throwing it across the apartment, shattering the screen.
Alex broke the silence, speaking in a warm, comforting tone. “Is your mom really going to do that to you? Just because Brad is with a woman screaming it’s his child.”
I nodded, tears brimming my eyes. “Yes. Yes, she is.”
“That’s not even right.” She stated, walking over to wrap me in her arms.
“It’s not fair, Alex. I was supposed to tell her my good news. I was expecting her to be ecstatic, and want to be in my room with me. But no, she’s completely turning against me because of Cherish. It’s always because of Cherish. That bitch stole everything from me, and now she’s trying to take more.” I sobbed.
“Well honey, I’m still here for you. I’ll be in that room if you want me too. Ha, scratch that. You just try keeping me out of that room. Unless Brad is in there with your mother, my spot is going to be right beside your head.”
I barked out a laugh through my tears. “You are not going to be in there, Hun. I may love you like a sister, but you’re not seeing my twat.”
She chuckled. “Fine you meanie.”
We sat there for several minutes just holding each other. I really needed to comfort of someone right now. I had been a really big bitch to my mom on the phone, something that I never did. But I was acting out of defense, or so it felt like it. Cherish was stealing everyone around me. Next she would take Henry, since she already had my mom and Brad snagged. It wasn’t fair. She was my mother she was supposed to hate the people I hated, right along with me.
She wasn’t supposed to like my arch nemesis. She was supposed to laugh with me and ask where we should hide the body. At least that’s what it had been like until I left the last time. Maybe it was my fault. That she was turning to Cherish because she felt I had abandoned her. It made sense, but then again that just broke my heart even more. That my mother needed me as much as I needed her, and I ran away. Again.
I didn’t know Cherish or Brad’s view on all of this. As much as it pained me, I wanted to. I wanted to know what she was getting out of all of this. I also wanted to know how Brad could be so fucking stupid to believe her. I mean, it doesn’t take a genius to realize that Cherish is a lying bitch.
“I want to ask you something?” Alex asked, as I untangled my arms from her.
I wiped my eyes, looking at her. “Shoot.”
“I want you to move in with me.”
My mouth hung open in shock. It wasn’t that I had much to move anyway. Every piece of furniture belonged to the apartment, but sharing a house with Alex. That was her safe haven, she barely brought anyone there, let alone have someone live with her. Was she frigging insane?
“Seriously?” I asked, my brow arched in curiosity. “You barely let anyone in the house, let alone have someone live with you.”
“I’m a dead serious, Claire. You’re going to be going through so much in the next few months, and I want you somewhere close by.”
“Alex, I know you want me close by, but think about this carefully. Are you sure you want me living with you? I’ll be there twenty-four hours a day. You won’t be able to have any time alone with Bo, because I’ll be there.” I said.
Her anger spiked, eyes beginning to dilate. “I’m fucking serious. I have already thought it through. I want you near me just in case something happens, not ten fucking minutes away. Now get out of the lease you have here, pack your shit, because Bo and I will be over here in a few weeks to help you move. I’m not taking no for an answer.”
I chuckled, holding my arms out to wave her bitchiness off. “Ok, ok. I’ll see what I can do. I’m so glad I have you for a friend. You’re there for me whenever I need you.”
“Damn, straight. You’re my sister Claire, I love you. So if you need help, I’m so there,” she said, hugging me.
When she left, I sat looking around my apartment. I’ve spent the last ten years in this apartment, thanks to Henry. It was the only other home that I knew in my short life. I would miss it a lot. But the thought of moving in with Alex, thrilled me. I would be near someone that would watch over me and little bean. She was a bitch, but that’s why I loved her. She would never let anything happen to me or the baby.
The thought of telling Brad about the baby drifted into my mind. I knew that I had to tell him sometime. He was the only other person besides Alex that wouldn’t let it slip. The only thing stopping me was if Cherish over heard. If she did, that could cause a big mess. However, the more I set and thought about it, the more I wanted to do it.
I hadn’t spoken to him since that first night. But I was no longer the sad depressed girl I had been. I wasn’t necessarily the strongest, but I was getting there. Just remembering the way that Alex talked to Brad the last time he called made me laugh. She’d give him a run for his money.
I knew if I asked Alex what I should do she would tell me to let him in on it. Of course she was right, just like most other things. But that didn’t stop the apprehension I felt about it. What if he turned me and the baby away? What if he said I was lying and just trying to pin it on him? I did the same thing at the reception when Cherish told him about baby Shawn.
But he didn’t listen to me. Instead he took Cherish’s side. I didn’t want him to take my side, I just want to see what he would think of the whole situation. I could probably catch him while he was at work. Maybe say it was a friend of mine that needed the advice, and since he was in the situation with Cherish, he would be able to tell me.
It was such a bad idea, but I couldn’t stop myself from calling his phone. I needed to know. Would he reject me and the baby if he was put in that situation, or would he open his arms and embrace us? I sighed as the phone started ringing, on the second ring he answered.
“Hello Claire,” he greeted in his
gravelly voice.
Fuck. I didn’t think this was going to be that hard. But damn, his voice just brought back so many images of our last time together. I was completely hell bent over this man, and didn’t know the damn reason why. Love wasn’t supposed to feel like this, was it?
“Hey Brad.” I replied, my voice choking up a little.
“God, love. Your voice is still so beautiful,” he groaned, like my voice was sex to his ears.
“Brad. Please…don’t,” I exhaled in a shaky breath.
He cleared his throat. “Sorry, that was over the line. What can I help you with? This is kind of a surprise considering the tongue lashing I got a few weeks ago,” he chuckled through the line.
Why did he have to say tongue lashing? That stupid fucker.
“Well I admit you deserved every bit of that, but that’s not why I called. I wanted to know something. I have a friend that’s pregnant with her ex-lovers baby, but he just found out that his other ex-lover is pregnant too and he took her back already. What would you do if you were this guy? I know it’s stupid to even come and ask you about it. But I figured that since the bitch is pregnant you would have some insight.” I held my breath waiting for his answer. Please don’t let him put two and two together.
He sounded stunned when he replied. “Claire, is there something I should know about?”
“Nope,” I squeaked, clearing my throat before repeating it again.
“Claire,” he growled in his dominant voice.
I rubbed my arms when goosebumps pebbled on my skin. I hated that he still made me feel like that, but there was nothing I could do. The body wants what the body wants. “Brad, just answer the question or I’ll go to someone else and ask.”
“Well since you asked so nicely. If I was the guy I would not turn them away. I would be the standup man, and take care of what’s mine. You of all people should know this, Claire.”
I snorted. “Do I?”
His growl resonated through the line. “You damn well better. You think I’m with Cherish for shits and giggles.” His angry voice flitted through the line. I heard a door open in the background before he cursed. “I gotta go. Is there anything else you wanted to know?”
I cleared my throat before responding. “Yes. As a matter of fact there is. Did you really think I wouldn’t find out about you proposing to Cherish? I may be hundreds of miles away, but the sound of betrayal doesn’t take long to travel.” I finished in a growl, hanging the phone up.
His gasp before I hung the phone up told me that he didn’t know I knew about their engagement. Of course I had no right to be mad at him. But dammit, I couldn’t help it. I loathed the ground Cherish walked on. He’d tossed me away simply because she said she was pregnant. He figured if it happened once that it could happen again. I for one, call bullshit. But did anyone believe me. Hell no. No one ever believes me.
I just hoped that I didn’t stay mad at him for the rest of my life. That I am able to forgive him, until then I’ll just be existing. I had more important things to worry about now. This baby being the number one on that list. I didn’t have room in my life for hate and drama. The only place I had room for was my child, no matter who the father was.
Chapter Twenty-Four
One Month Later…
Every day I get just a little better. I no longer wake up in the middle of the night screaming, and aching for Brad. The nightmares have started to fade into the dark recesses of my mind. I’m a hell of a long way from being back to my old self, but at least I’m getting better. Which is the story of my life. Loving someone is no joke, but to have them jerked away from you twice in one life time, its torture on one’s soul.
When I have thoughts of what could have been if Brad hadn’t thrown me away; I always rub my stomach, because no matter what I will always have a piece of him with me. It hurts that he chose someone else over me after saying that he loved me. But in this day and time, you learn to take what someone says at face value. Do not believe them unless they prove to you otherwise.
The last month has drained away my anger toward him. All I feel now is a sadness that he is in this situation. That it was easy enough to get under his skin, to trick him. Cherish had been married to him before, so she knew how to play him like a fiddle. I, however, had one year with him and that had been back in high school. I thought I knew who Brad was, but no, Cherish was the only one who really knew him.
The only one he let in.
It hurts sometimes to think about that. To think about what could have been between him, me, and our child. But I wasn’t going to put my baby through that pain and suffering. I would be just like my mother and raise it alone. I turned out just fine, no thanks to my dead beat father. So I figured that I would do a pretty go job too.
I’ve moved in with Alex, per her request. It makes me happy to see that she is with Bo. That she is actually letting someone in, besides me. When she asked me to move in and all my things were squared away; she didn’t have to ask Bo twice and he was over here moving all my things. He was there for her just like she was there for me.
She was the main reason I was at the stage in my grief that I was. Accepting. I accepted the fact that Brad and I would not be together again. He was engaged to someone else, and she had helped me see that. I spent many nights crying in her arms, but the release was sort of cathartic. I was able to release the bad and retain the good. It didn’t hurt me to remember the good anymore, whereas a month ago all it brought was agonizing pain
Since finding out at the hospital that I was pregnant, I haven’t been back to the doctor. This would be my first visit with an actual gynecologist. It took me this whole time to actually find one that I liked. None of them ever seemed good enough to be looking over me and my child. That’s when Doctor Andres came practically out of nowhere and blindsided me.
He was phenomenal with children and pregnant mothers. He’s had over twenty years’ experience in this field, and delivered over three thousand babies. All of his patient reviews were amazing, so I snatched him up, and this would be my very first baby visit with him. I was more than nervous, had no idea what to even look forward too.
Alex has been excited for the last week. She can’t wait until they do an ultrasound on me, so she can see the baby. I’m beyond excited too. I’ve thought many times if it would have my blonde hair, or Brad’s darker hair. My physique, or Brad’s. The only thing I could come up with was that my child was going to be absolutely beautiful either way.
I heard a voice at the door, dragging me from my thoughts. I blinked my eyes as if to blink the daze away. I glanced over to see a bright smile on Alex’s face. I smiled in return before finishing my makeup. Of course makeup wasn’t a have to thing now a days, but it still made me feel good.
“I figured you would be gone already,” I said, putting a few extra coats of mascara on.
I turn a timid smile on her, and she reciprocated. “I’m just so excited. I’ve taken the whole day off. Afterward we are going to go shopping and everything.” She squealed with excitement.
I chuckled. “I’m not finding out the sex, sweetie. That won’t come for another few months. I’m not even completely sure if I am getting an ultrasound today or not.”
A knock on our front door had her walking away, calling over her shoulder. “Claire. Either way you need a treat, so afterwards were going shopping.”
I giggled at her obvious happiness by me being knocked up. She would put you in the mind of one of those aunts that wait between the mother’s legs while she’s pushing. She’s completely obsessed over the baby. Who’s to blame her, I’m pretty obsessed myself. I walked out of the bathroom and entered the living room to see Alex and Bo all but making out next to the front door.
I snickered. “Ahh…that’s gross, can you two get a room.”
Bo being the jokester turns toward me, eyes lit with mischief. “This is coming from a girl that has a bun in the oven. Girlie, maybe you shouldn’t have gotten a room.”
; His jokes forced a laugh out of me. By now I was already use to his antics. However, it hadn’t always been like that. The first time he said a pregnant joke to me I almost decked him. Sad, but true. It was then that Alex had to explain to him that my hormones were raging and that I was temperamental. Can someone say embarrassing? At least it had been at the time. Now thought, I gave as well as I got.
“Touché,” I chortled, picking up my purse. “I’ll catch you guys later. Off to check on said bun in the oven. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
I cracked up when I heard Alex say ‘don’t count on it,’ then run through the house screaming. God, I loved living with her. I hadn’t known until the time I moved in that I missed living with someone. It’d been almost ten years since I had. I chucked it up to not wanting to be lonely. But it wasn’t just that. I missed the interaction, the playfulness between two people. I now got to see that every day.
As I backed out of the drive, I rolled the window down. It was close to noon and I wanted to feel the now chilling September air blowing through my hair. I didn’t care that I would have to stop every other block for a stop light. I was light hearted, and felt better than I had in ages. As soon as the nausea stopped I began to see what this pregnancy was all about, and pure miracle.
The first stop light brought with it a man and woman crossing the crosswalk, pushing a stroller. It broke my heart for a mere minute, but I refused to stay down for too long. I would have that one day. Just maybe not who I wanted it to be with. I can’t let my life be put on pause for one person, especially when said person was within months of having their child with their fiancé.
Thick: A Stepbrother Romance Page 21