But even through the hideous shame of it, I couldn’t help but start to feel turned on all over again. The familiar surge of sensation flooded into my clit, and I hardly even noticed my hand moving down there. I let my thighs fall apart, as I remembered the roughness of their hands on me, the urgency of Stef’s cock in my mouth, the upward slide of my sweater over my breasts.
What would have happened if Liv hadn’t interrupted us? If they’d taken me somewhere else, where they could properly use me? I knew I’d have been in trouble but, even so, the thought of it sent shivers of anticipation through my clit. My imagination wandered, and soon I was back in my fantasy, but this time with a difference. It started in Jackaroo’s, with Stef and Chris and the rest of the guys, just as it had last night, but instead of Liv coming to my rescue, they’d carried on; Stef thrusting into my mouth, Chris finally pulling my breasts free of my bra, and the guy next to me undoing my jeans and inching them down across my hips.
It was only when I was truly exposed, naked on Chris’s lap, with his cock pushing inside me and Stef plunging once again into my mouth, that it all went wrong. It wasn’t my fantasy any more. It was Leo’s reality and, when I looked up at Stef, and all the other guys standing around us, it was Leo’s face, once again, looking back at me.
I pulled my hand away as if it’d been stung, and just lay there, staring at the poster-strewn walls, and wondering whether I’d ever be able to keep my promise to Liv.
She didn’t seem any more convinced, when I was getting ready to go out with Kitty, an hour or so later.
‘I don’t think you should go,’ she said, at least ten times, as she stood behind me in her tiny bathroom, watching me apply the finishing touches to my make-up. Disapproval was etched all over her face. ‘Not after last night.’
‘I know,’ I said. ‘You keep saying. I won’t get drunk, I promise, but I’m going.’
It wasn’t just the thought of getting it in the neck from Kitty that made me determined to go. For one thing, I was dying to know what was so special about the venue. I’d been to most of the decent clubs in London with Leo, but the F Bar had never crossed my radar. For another, Leo had been out the night before, with some brunette, and had been snapped getting into a cab with her. Hence the reason I’d ignored his calls. I was determined to go one better, although I didn’t mention this to Liv, for obvious reasons.
‘Well, just make sure you behave,’ she said. She was clucking about me like a mother hen; rearranging my hair and checking under my eyes for smudges. ‘I wish I was coming with you, I do, but I just can’t. Max has gone abroad unexpectedly, and, well...you know.’ She made a face.
I could read her like a book. I knew she felt as if she should be there, to keep me in check, but the thought of spending more time in the company of Kitty made her want to run for the hills. I was glad she wasn’t going, anyway, in the nicest possible way. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be kept in check.
‘I don’t think you’re on the VIP list, anyway,’ I said, with a wicked grin.
‘Dayum,’ she said, clicking her fingers in disappointment.
Just then, there was a knock at the door.
‘Quick, it’s the taxi,’ she said, peering out her bedroom window. ‘Hurry up.’
I grabbed my bag, and walked gingerly down the stairs. I was wearing a sleek midnight-blue dress and high sandals. I hadn’t worn anything but flats for the last few days, and I didn’t want to have an accident. I hoped Kitty would approve of my outfit. My dress was a sleeveless silk shift, spattered with diamantés and open down the back, and it was the shortest I had with me. I’d told myself I was getting dressed up to please her, but secretly I knew it was because I wanted to attract attention. As the thought was made explicit in my mind, I flushed. What a difference a day made. Something had twisted inside me, something small but significant, and I was half ashamed but, at the same time, powerless to halt it. Christ, I didn’t even want to halt it.
I tiptoed down the path to the taxi, carefully avoiding the cracks in the paving. My heels were sky-high Louboutins, diamanté-studded to match my dress. I didn’t want to ruin them this early in the night. Liv followed me out, still fussing around me. She seemed increasingly stressed, and I could tell she was now seriously regretting not coming along.
As I went round the other side of the cab, she tapped on Kitty’s window. Kitty wound it down and looked out.
‘Don’t leave her, whatever you do,’ Liv said. ‘Promise me.’
‘I promise,’ Kitty said, sounding taken aback. ‘I wasn’t planning to.’
‘Good.’
I could tell Liv was still anxious, and I leaned across to give her a smile. ‘I’ll be okay,’ I said, holding out my hand to squeeze hers.
‘Don’t sweat it, honey,’ said Kitty with a giggle.
I pulled my hand in quickly, as she wound up the window, and the taxi pulled away.
Twenty Two
After making arrangements to collect the money the next afternoon, I spent the rest of the day locking everything down. I called a meeting with Alex, Matt and a few of my other closest confidantes at my penthouse on the top floor of the Dominion hotel. I ran them through what had happened, and what would be happening from now on. I wasn’t about to let a security breach like this occur again, and everyone who worked for me – in whatever capacity – was going to have to be scrutinised anew. It was a mammoth undertaking, but I had a team dedicated to info gathering, and this was going to be their only duty for the next few weeks.
Alex and Matt had left my office in silence. I think they must have wondered, like me, why Rick had got himself involved in something so ridiculous and downright dangerous, when he’d had such a good position in my ranks. Their wages and holidays were second to none, and the price for their loyalty and discretion was an incredibly generous pension. To give that up, he must have been in desperate straits indeed. I almost felt sorry for him, but only almost…I’d feel a whole lot sorrier for Felicity Flint, should anything go wrong with the handover.
Giles got back to me in the early evening. I needed to know if he’d managed to quash Charlotte’s story, and I’d rung him intermittently throughout the day, before giving up and trying to get hold of Max instead. The girl who’d answered his work phone had coolly informed me that he was out of the country on personal business. When Giles finally reached me, he was short and to the point.
‘If there were problems, I’d have contacted you,’ he said in clipped tones. ‘I’ve scotched it for the moment. I can’t give any details now – I’m at a family funeral - but Max will be back Friday morning. Go and see him and he’ll explain.’
I’d waited too long. I couldn’t let him go without pushing him. ‘Did you get her address?’
There was a pause. I could imagine him looking around him to make sure he wasn’t overheard. ‘Not so far. They’re being precious.’ His voice had dropped so low now, I could barely hear him. ‘Seems she’s been involved in some dodgy operations. They’re saying her life’s at risk. Someone at one of the papers has already given it out in error, apparently, and now they can’t get hold of her to warn her.’
‘Okay.’ I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. She’d really messed up – we all had – but if I could just get to see her…talk to her…I was sure I could still sort things.
‘Best you don’t have it, all things considered,’ he said, and rang off.
I had nothing else to do for the rest of the day. Everything I could control was sorted. I’d put a team onto the empty flat, just in case Charlotte showed her face there to pick up her post, but I knew in my heart it was pointless. I had a tail on the blonde in the downstairs flat, too, but by the evening there was still nothing to go on. She’d only left her flat once, to get some shopping and post a letter. Other than that, she’d stayed in all day, providing her personal form of entertainment to a steady stream of shifty-looking men.
By the time evening came, I’d stopped thinking about it all. For one thing, it w
as an exercise in futility. For another, I knew there was a good chance I might finally get to meet Grace Anderton properly tonight and, for some reason, I really thought it might be a turning point in my life.
I didn’t even know why. I knew next to nothing about her. Only what I’d read online, which wasn’t much. She seemed to have kept herself out of the public eye somehow, despite being hooked up with a fairly well-known footballer. Christ, she even had a job on Max’s team, of all the bitter ironies.
I’d been half tempted to call him to find out more about her. Thank fuck he was out of the country, because that would have been reckless in the extreme. Max had a competitive streak, especially when it came to me, and he’d probably have staked his claim, there and then.
I wondered how she fared on an average day, working under him. From what I’d seen, he was just as hard-nosed at work as he was in his personal life, and I wondered how she felt, being pushed around by him. I had a feeling she’d just take it, though. There was something about her, something vulnerable. She reminded me of…
No, I couldn’t go there. I couldn’t tie her in with all of that. Was that the reason I was so attracted to her? It would explain a lot. I mean, looking at it from an outsider’s point of view, the whole thing would seem laughable. Me, who could have any woman I wanted within reason, and didn’t want any of them, obsessing over a z-list celebrity who’d just been shat on from a great height.
None of it made any sense when I looked at it like that but, at the same time, it was the only thing that made any sense at all. Whatever the reason, if she was there tonight, I was going to make a play for her. I had to. She was my only positive goal right now and, if she let me down, I’d have nothing.
Twenty Three
The F Bar turned out to be the roof bar of the Fforbes Hotel in Mayfair. The Fforbes was one of the most expensive in London, and rooms there cost a small fortune. As we got out of the taxi, a group of reporters surrounded us immediately.
‘Hi,’ said Kitty, beaming around at them. ‘Yes, we’re on the guest list tonight. Going to have us some fun.’ She stopped briefly, and posed for the cameras, turning this way and that and sticking out her hip.
I cowered behind her. The last thing I needed was to get snapped somewhere like this. Even though he had no right any more, Leo would freak. In fact, if he found out I was here, I shuddered to think what he’d do. I held my hand to my face as the cameras flashed, and scurried after Kitty into the revolving doors, while she smiled and waved at the cameras behind her.
‘Apparently, it’s really hard to get in here, if you’re not actually staying here,’ Kitty confided, excitedly, as we went up in the lift. ‘Unless, of course, you’re on the VIP list,’ she giggled. ‘Like us.’
I began to feel nervous. I was never comfortable in swanky places – not without Leo. I preferred the middle-of-the-road night out, where I didn’t have to stand on ceremony. I wasn’t sure I’d fit in here.
The lift doors opened out into a large foyer. The black double doors ahead of us had F Bar over them, picked out in tiny diamond-white lights. The F was followed by forbes, but the letters were tiny, running across the centre of three asterisks, so that it really did look like F***. The F*** Bar. Liv and I hadn’t been so far from the truth, after all.
One of the doormen checked us off on the list, and that was when I first realised something wasn’t quite right. He took Kitty’s coat – I hadn’t brought one – and I got a look at the paper in his hand. Ours were the only names on it.
I followed Kitty in through the double doors, wondering what it meant. Once inside, it was even stranger. I suppose I’d been expecting it to be busy. It wasn’t. There was barely a handful of people scattered through the bar, mainly business people, judging from their suits, and almost all men.
Kitty looked about her in disgust. ‘Is this it?’ she said. ‘I was expecting a bit more, to be honest.’
I was still thinking about the so-called VIP list. ‘Who told you it was hard to get in here?’ I said.
‘Jimmy,’ Kitty said. ‘That’s what the guy sorting the VIP list told him. He was desperate to get us here, apparently.’
‘Yeah,’ I said, looking around at all the empty tables. ‘I can see why.’
‘Well, we’re here now,’ she shrugged. ‘And the paps have got their story. So, mission accomplished.’
‘What do you mean?’ I said, not following.
‘I mean, Jimmy made sure they’d be here,’ she said. ‘You’re a dope, sometimes, you really are. It keeps our faces in the papers. Raises our profiles. It’s all good.’
I didn’t think it was good at all, but I didn’t think she’d understand, so I just nodded.
‘Come on.’ She nudged me. ‘It’s only early. Things’ll pick up later on. Cheer up and come to the bar with me. We might as well make the most of it.’
I got a vodka, free of charge, but only took one sip and left it. The mere smell of the alcohol made me feel sick. I ordered an orange juice, and followed Kitty over to sit at a table near the dance floor. The room wasn’t large - the dance floor would only have taken about fifty people, if that – but it was exquisitely decorated, with satin-covered walls, studded with more of the diamond lights. A pianist was playing the Rat Pack over by a small stage and next to it was a wall of floor-to-ceiling windows, with a door opening onto a roof terrace.
After sitting in silence for a few minutes, looking around at the business people and wondering if this was as good as it was going to get, I suggested going out there for some fresh air.
‘Good idea.’ Kitty jumped up and grabbed her bag off the table. ‘I’m dying for a fag.’
Again, she led the way, and I followed her outside. The terrace wasn’t large, but what it lacked in size, it made up for in atmosphere, with ambient lighting and palm trees, as well as high-end patio furniture, glass and black wicker, carefully positioned to give a casual look. I leaned against the glass-panelled railings that ran around the edge of the terrace, and looked down at Park Lane below me. There were cabs coming and going all the time outside the hotel, and I wondered how many of the people in them would be joining us up in this roof bar.
‘Ah.’ Kitty took a deep drag on her cigarette. ‘I needed that.’
‘Can I…’ I began. Then stopped. I knew I shouldn’t. I’d given up a few years ago, but…what the hell. ‘Can I have one?’
‘Knock yourself out.’ Kitty thrust the box at me. ‘Take ʼem. I’ve got more in my bag. They’re menthol, though.’
‘It’s what I smoke…smoked,’ I said, lighting up and slipping the box into my bag, absently. ‘I’m not starting again. I just…fancy one.’
‘Yeah.’ Kitty laughed. ‘That’s what they all say.’
I was about to protest, when I noticed a man standing in the bar. He was looking out at me; a strange, almost hungry, look on his face. I had a feeling I’d seen him before somewhere…recently…but I couldn’t place him. Whoever he was, he was incredibly good looking. I turned to Kitty, to ask her if she knew him but, when I turned back, he’d gone.
Don’t be ridiculous, anyway, I told myself. He wouldn’t be interested in you, and even if he was, you’ve sworn off men. You’re not getting involved with anyone else at the moment. Besides, what would Leo…
‘I didn’t know you smoked,’ a voice said, from behind me.
I stepped back and span round. There, right in front of me, my forehead nearly touching his nose, was the man I’d seen looking out at me. There was another door out onto the balcony. I could see it now.
I looked back at him and he took a step back. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘It’s fine,’ I said. He was breathtakingly, outrageously handsome. He was enough to make a girl weep. I just stared.
‘I…’ He gave a brief laugh, and I looked away, feeling myself begin to blush. ‘I was just saying that you smoked. I didn’t know.’
‘Well, of course you didn’t,’ Kitty interjected with a sharp laugh. ‘How would you? You do
n’t even know who she is.’
‘On the contrary, I know her very well. Or, at least, I know of her,’ he amended, turning and smiling at me again, with a nod of recognition. ‘Miss Anderton.’
I nodded back, trying to remember where I’d seen him before. It had to be off TV. He had that ultra-perfect look about him and, right now, he had the advantage. I couldn’t place him at all. I took a drag on my cigarette to steady my nerves.
‘And as I was saying,’ he continued, addressing me again. ‘I didn’t realise you smoked.’
‘She doesn’t,’ Kitty said, now physically elbowing her way in front of me. ‘Allegedly.’
‘Allegedly.’ The man smiled at her briefly, acknowledging her joke, then turned to me and, with a look of disapproval, took the cigarette from between my lips and threw it over the edge of the terrace. ‘Smoking is very unbecoming, you know,’ he said. ‘Not to mention, unhealthy.’
I was so mortified, I didn’t even react. I just stared at his now-empty hand, then up at him. There was an amused look in his blue eyes, one I’d seen before and remembered only too well. I felt the colour drain out through my shoes as realisation hit me.
At the same time, I felt Kitty bridle. She made a big show of dragging on her cigarette, apparently expecting him to try to stop her. He didn’t. She was furious at being pushed once again from centre-stage, I could tell. She was rapt by this guy, and small wonder. He was truly beautiful. The only trouble was, that ironic grin had broken the charm. I knew now exactly where I’d seen him before, and why he knew me.
He was Mr Arrogant, from Max’s office.
I felt the colour flood back into my cheeks in a physical rush…they actually pulsed. He was Max’s friend…client…whatever. He’d been there the day I’d found out about Leo. He’d more or less witnessed my humiliation. And here he was again…giving me that same mocking grin he’d given me in Max’s office. No wonder he’d had the gall to throw my fag away. It was all in a day’s work for him. Why did he get such a kick out of embarrassing me?
Falling from Grace: A Billionaire Romantic Suspense series (The Filth Monger Series Book 1) Page 10